Figuring Things Out

[kozzi]

You're not going to listen to me, but I'm going to give you my insight anyway.  You are letting your fears rule your experience.  I don't believe dreams have any hidden, mystical meanings, because I know myself very well.  It took a lot of work to rid myself of the superstitions the world has tried to place on me, but now I see clearly.  What, at one time, appeared to be symbolism in my dreams became clear reflections of my state of mind.  We play with a wonderfully moldable world in our dreams which helps us work out our daily frustrations and fears.  Be careful not to read too much into them though, because you are creating that world and only you can tell us what they mean.  Fear and superstition rule the world right now.  I used to think I felt spirits around me, and I used to cower in fear in the dark.  There's nothing out to get you, and there is no boogy man.  Only when I released my fears did I finally see Truth.  It's not what you want it to be though, because you probably want the world to be mysterious and mystical.  It's not though.  In fact, it's so much more wondrous when seen in it's incredible simplicity.  Most people live in a dangerous web of lies, superstitions, and religions.  If you're Christian you're probably afraid to consider the statement I've just made.  That's fine, because things are going to be ok.    We're all going to be ok.  By the way, when you die you're going to see this life for what it truly was and you're going to be sorry if you've lived it under the mindless control of a religion or superstition.  Trust me.  When you realize you've just died but you're still thinking, and when you adjust to the place you're in after death and you start to converse with others around you, you're going to laugh at yourself.  You're going to see that life happened in a blink, and you wasted a lot of it by worrying about silly things, but don't worry too much about that either because everyone will have done the same thing.  You don't have to believe me, because it doesn't matter so much anyway.  Everything is going to be just fine.  

Kozzi

[holy reality]

I'm inclined to take Kuzzi's stance... sure there could be spirits, or christianity could be right... it doesn't matter, at least not to me.

These dreams come from your head, you can argue that something put them there, but even if that is so, what matters is your interpreations of them, and how htey relate to your life and your mind.

Since you seem to have the forge dream figured out then I don't see what else we could really  help you with on that one... I mean... I'm inclined to agree with your interpretation.

As for the black spirit ... well.. yeah... everyone goes through bad dreams that transition into waking, or maybe, you weren't really ever awake when you thought you were and felt his presence.

What the guy symbozlies I have no clue, whether he was real I have no clue... but if it isn't a recurring dream theme I wouldn't worry TOO much about it..

Frankly I get that thing all the time, and I think I know why I'm getting it, but... thanks to these forums I've been caught up in wondering whether these are real presences, but you know, it just doesn't seem like it. If I ask them questions and hold my mind blank as possible they tend to not respond.. if I ask them questions witha  thought running through my head or expectations there, they tend to meet them.

So. Whether the demons are real, or parts of your mind, it doesn't matter. What matters is conquering them... be it by figuring out what they represent and trying to change your life, or just confronting and warding them off when they do start hassling you.

The former seems more important though and the latter seems like all it really does is provide your mind temporary relief from what's plaguing it.

But in spite of all this I do feel that there is something very deep about the subconscious mind and that it does hold "mystical" connections... I've been able to "predict" things before and I've been able to do a card test somewhat accurately.... I've just spontaneously "known" things, not like intuition know, but just... a mindless... "knowing" and they have been right. I have had my fair share of luck (and much more of unluck) at manipulating things to my favor.

I somehow "knew" I was going to sit down and play poker and win the very first hand... and I was right... I knew that when I won the second hand that I should quit... I didn't... and lost 1/4 of my money in the end (it's only $1.00 though, but damn I wish my family played with tons of money because I felt very confident in playing with a $20 and then I would have made like $40-60 in the first few hands and would have listened to myself to quit, rather than keep playing).

But... I think... this connection... well... I think we are all connected to each other and that reality is much more subjective than we realize.

As for spirits, I'm extremely skeptical. No doubt there are probably higher forms of life outhere somewhere... and I do suppose it may be possible to communicate with them while sleeping/out of body, but I don't have any reason to think I've ever stepped outside of the dream world, be it a collective dream or a subjective one.

I keep an open mind though.

[cmtsailor]

I grew up in a conservative Christian houshold.  I was the fifth of seven children.  I dealt with depression when I was young and escaped through reading.  I grew to be strong, athletic, and started to be active in sports in middle school.  I went from being antisocial to just being quiet.  My parents encouraged me to play the trombone in the school band, and I had an aunt that owned a theater where I started to do small roles in some of their productions.  I wasn't an average athlete in the small town I come from; I read a lot, wrote poetry, played music, participated in drama, in addition to being gifted at sports.  When I was 11 I had an experience that troubled me.  I won't share it all, but I was in a dream figuratively on the top of the world, I walked through a door and was beaten down by a massive ultrablack being.  I was powerless to protect myself.  I woke up out of breath tossing and turning in my bed and the room was pitch black.  I felt like the being was standing over me, I called out for the presence to leave in the name of Jesus Christ, it slowly faded away and my room returned to normal.  I am not sure what happened.
In high school I met an interesting guy that was heavy into the goth scene, but we became friends despite our differences and shared poetry that we wrote.  He started making some friends that were in the goth heirarchy from major cities in the USA.  He really believed that he was a vampire and started using an alternate name "Sable Graveside".  He claimed that he had two familiar spirits he conversed with that protected him.  The last time I spoke with him he told me of a weaver and a worm and a complicated history of how our world came to be.  He said that he knew who I am and who I used to be in a previous life(from his spirits)but he would not tell me because he understood that I wouldn't believe it or be comfortable with it because of my religion.  He said if anyone came for me that if I mentioned his name that they would leave me alone.  I thought it was all pretty weird, I knew he was leaving for good so we bid our farewell and I left. I felt a presence in my car on my 50 minute drive home (he lived out in the middle of nowhere), It felt just like a real person was sitting behind me, I don't know why but it frightened me so I cast the spirit out of the vehicle and it left immeiatly.
Shortly after the experience I had a detailed dream that felt more important than other dreams I had.  I will do my best to expain in words what I saw and felt.  I was in the dark, flashes of light like lightning attracted my attention and I came nearer to see a large man standing at a forge where he pounded and shaped a piece of metal.  Each hammer blow shot a spray of golden sparks.  A feeling came that explained the meaning of what I was seeing.  I was the piece of metal and I was being shaped for a purpose but I had to go through fire and the forging process.  I next  saw the man carefully putting inscriptions on the blade of the sword he had forged, carefully put an edge, and honing it until it was very sharp.  I next felt that even after a usefull tool is formed that it must also be refined and perfected to fulfill it's purpose.  There weren't any other pictures, just the strongest feeling of peace and love that I have ever felt.  I woke up and went through the dream I had several times.
 I was just reflecting on  things that have happened in my life.  I have spent a couple of hours on a couple of days reading posts on this site and I thought that some of the members might have some insight into things that have happened and about my dream.  I look forward to heaaring from you.
cmt