Big Concern on Low Energy

[jilola]

Perhaps you should start by reading about the Catchbasket concept and find out what exactly it is that you believe in and what is holding you back.
Being neutral doesn't mean there isn't some underlying hindrance that drags you down. It just means that in most instances things balance out.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

[Ramn7]

By neutral, I didn't mean that I don't believe in anything.  In reality, I have a strong background in Christianity.  When I said "neutral" I meant that most things don't spark any sense of attachment.  I find myself not caring about the things that go on in my life AND that I have much lower energy available to me than I know I should have.  I understand what you mean, jilola, about neutral things existing in balance, but if things were truly balanced, then why do I feel so tired?

There's also this very strange sense that I am not balanced, but not unbalanced either.  I feel more or less on the edge of some abyss that is separate from all other things.  Not good or bad, just separate.  I'm not trying to get defensive about anything, just trying to explain what it is I feel.

I've also read a whole lot on metaphysics.  It's been my hidden obsession as far back as I can remember, and that's why I think this problem is so weird.  I haven't really seen anyone address it anywhere and the more I want to get involved or open up psychically/mentally, the more I seem to go in the opposite direction.  This is my huge problem.

[Ramn7]

Hey, don't bother posting here anymore.  This is a much more personal experience than I realized, and no one here can say or do anything to change it.  Thanks anyway for thinking about it.

[Ramn7]

Hey all, I've got a few really big concerns that I've been struggling with for a long time, and I was hoping someone could help.  First off, I've never had too big of a problem stimulating awareness anywhere on my body, even before I found this site and the NEW system.  

My problem though is that despite some attempts to raise or store energy, my physical, emotional and mental states have become more fatigued and lacking in energy.  This fatigue leads to an inability to sit down and focus on raising energy or do it very effectively.  Obviously this is a big road block because I'm not able to store energy or channel it very well.  I can sense blockages in my body whenever they appear but I typically have to numb them or shut them down in order to remain sane and bring up my already diminishing energy levels.  

Don't consider me to be some thin, unhealthy and unstable person.  On the contrary, I am just where I should be for my height and weight, I hardly ever get sick and I interact with most people in a positive and comfortable way.  I just have this overwhelming exhaustion and often lack of motivation to do a lot of what I want to do.  I'm also not that big of a bum either (I just graduated high school in an accelerated course with honors).  

I've considered that it might be some embedded negative philosophy on life that does this to me, but I seem to be more neutral than anything else, and most affirmations/philosophies I've come in contact with have only had a temporary effect.  I've passed the whole "dark night of the soul" phase a couple of years ago.  I'm just really confused on what I can or should be doing.  Please help.