Cursed

[PerversionOfEvil]

[shadow=purple, top]Greetings once again.
While the general populace pretends to be totally ignorant of any existence of magic or energy work, I would assume that all of you who are here have personally validated the existence of the astral, perhaps even God or forces of the mind that are benevolent and peacefully powerful.

I have now realized that I am a victim of a black magic attack.  While I do not desire harm to come to my enemy or enemies, it is required that they desist their transgressions against me.  Everyone in this so called modern world will call what has happened to me a delusion, but then I can come right out and say that there is no proof of the astral or any type of energy work for that matter.

What I need to know is how I can shatter their 'voodoo' magic connection and very rapidly place numerous potent layers of the astral energy around my body so that I may then vigorously develop a solid energy body.  The current functional theory that I have is that they have turned one of my own servitors against me, possibly because of it's inherent connection to vampirism and satan in general.  This servitor would be Poe, Perversion Of Evil, and he is a terrible force, quite likely.  There are other possibilities as to what sort of vampire they are using, but, I will stick to this.  I have had dreams where Poe is lashing out at me with his serpentile tendrils, and it is obvious that he is sucking up my good energy.

The thing is, recently I have looked back in the dictionary to check on the word 'astral'.  It says there that the astral energy is a refined form of psychic energy.  Therefore, it is possible that when one is practicing Bodily Awareness, you are in fact concentrating your psychic energy and generating an astral form.  It may be, although, for certain reasons I must not be certain of it, but, we may have, firstly, a spiritual body, then, a material body, and then, the astral body which is only formed when we apply our material minds and spiritual force to that task of creating it.

The thing is, because of their alleged vampirism, every time that I try to practice bodily awareness, it is quickly cut off and I can only focus on one part of my body or the other.  They suck up my energy as soon as it is formed, so, basically, they are recieving the raw form of a refined energy.  Why anyone would do this is beyond my understanding, as I see each person as capable on their own to develop their own abilities.

This explains why I can not astral project.  I do not have a astral body!  And because of the magic against me, and the great possibility that I have suffered brain damage due to some form of physical assault in any of my adventures into the world, I do not have a capacity for a strong psychic defense. 

With my other realizations coming into focus, and the horrors of this world coming into my sight, all I can do is keep trying.  I'm not asking you to save me, I am asking you if you know of any processes or operations which will benefit me, and allow me to break their vampiric hold and curse.  I have a basic idea of it, involving a visualization of your standard psi shield, reinforced with a active awareness.  But, I am not certain of whether or not I should try and link my shield to an existing elemental force, or, if I should practice holding the shield.  Again, my bodily awareness is pretty much shot, to the point that my sense of smell and taste is greatly damaged.  Of course, smoking may have something to do with that, but, it should be noted that just today after an attempt to concentrate my awareness into an astral form while simultaneously throwing up a astral shield, my senses were heightened towards their normality.

Any suggestions, advice, or information that would help?  Please, and if so, thank you.[/shadow]

[kiwibonga]

I really mean no offense by my post... But do you realize that you are doing this to yourself? There's no black magicians planting curses on you and preventing you from doing energy work.. You don't have magical enemies... Snap out of it.

This is not an insult, it is friendly advice. You are driving yourself crazy ; do something before it gets out of hand. Go see a psychiatrist.

[DH]

No one can hurt through curses, spells, etc., you unless you let them into your head by believing in their abilities.  Don't do that.  Banish the negative mess from your mind and move on to positive things.  IMHO No one can hurt you  like that against your will.  DH

[PerversionOfEvil]

Well, it's a complicated issue.  Thanks for the friendly advice anyway, but there are certain definite physical facts that bring into question this assumed ultimate control of my own reality.  I mean, why is it that other people can be attacked by vampires and all the rest of it, but when it comes to me, no, I'm just a psychotic killer.

I guess that's that.

[kiwibonga]

What are the physical facts, if you don't mind my asking?

[Mydral]

You already know the answer to your problem since the problem was created by you in the first place (like kiwi explained).
Ask yourself how to banish them, the first thing that pops to your mind should do it. Of course think rational about it, you definatly do not need any kind of rituals or so... visualisations are enough. I can't emphasise this enough.... ONLY do visualisations, the rest will just get you even more worked up.
What I do sometimes when fear gets the better of me is just visualise a white energy shield around me or so and tell myself that nothing can penetrate it.

[The Present Moment]

The loss of bodily awareness might be depersonalization. I had it to varying degrees for a few years. It helps to do things in physical reality that will keep you grounded, like gardening, cleaning, or exercising. Try to avoid stressful situations where possible, and don't fall into spirals of negative thinking.

Your sense of self and body are products of the mind, they can be lost or gained.