"feeding" vs. charging batteries on groups of people

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sashamasha

Wow! I haven't been here in a while and the new layout is beautiful!

I have a Q about my BF.  I am sensitive, and by being around me he is also waking up to his sensitivities, which he'd been repressing/denying.  He is quite comfortable with all of it, even relieved to be able to give it a name.

My question is about our differing reactions to rowdy crowds.  He loves it.  He loves people partying, people at music or sporting events cheering, and will "need" to go to a club at least once a month to just be around that kind of energy.  If I am in these same places with him, I feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable, and can't wait till he's "done" so we can go.  It's not the social aspect, it's just all the loose energy bouncing around, the noise...  everything that he loves about it, I hate.

He is not a vampire and he gives off rather than sucks energy.  He is excellent at making friends with every single person or animal that comes in contact with him.  I have the same ability, and get the same unasked-for personal information, though our conversations will be vastly different, and he usually makes initial contact while I just have to stand there and ignore them to pique their interest, lol.  People really love to be around him; he practically shines.  People love to be around me, too, but even though we both seem to give off acceptance and energy, the nature of these is totally vastly different.

I want to understand what it is that he gets from crowds, and how he uses energy vs. how I do.  Any ideas? 

malganis

Extrovert people get energy from being around people, talking with them for hours etc., while introvert people need a time being alone to recharg because they find being around people all the time exhausting.
"What are you doing here, Nasrudin? his neighbor asks. "I'm looking for a key which I lost
in the wood?" Nasrudin replies. "Why don't you look for it in the wood?" says the neighbor,
wondering at Nasrudin's folly. "Because there is much more light here"

sashamasha

Well, yes that is true.  Introverts and extroverts are very different that way.  But that's not exactly what I'm asking about here.  For one, I am not introverted, and I do love to talk to people for hours and hours.  I love parties, and I love meeting strangers.  (But even if I have my back turned, they will seek me out.)  My boyfriend also needs daily quiet time to recharge.

But there is something specific to large noisy groups of people with crazy energy that my boyfriend needs and that I find offensive, and I would like to find out what it is energy wise that we are responding to so differently. 

Maybe I am not able to pose my question the way I intend to...