lately i have been trying to find my ego in me, i know it's not easy..but i dont like the person i am , was, or becoming...the people around me are trying to convert me or something and im not sure if there helping me or confusing me..the choices in my life are always changing, and the people around me i want to help and connect with..some of them see me some crazy kid...others just think im lost, but i know that if i believe enough i can make my dreams a reality...im just not sure of the future steps ahead i feel so alone and confused but i know there are good people out there..but when do they show themselves? any life experiences would be helpful..
I find myself saying the following to a lot of posts I reply to.
I think its all about setting, prioritizing and managing one's values systems. Really digging around in the deep recesses of the mind and flushing out all the concerns, negative and positive thought patterns, beliefs, fears, strengths etc. I have asked my guides to help me with this and it has helped me immensly come to terms with and set directions in my life.
It is difficult because even if one has not lived in a strictly religeous family, it is still concerning at how many values/beliefs you realise you find you have that are based on religeon. These overtones can affect how you see yourself (ego) and whether you are living up to (or 'failing') those expectations. You have to decide whether you agree with those deep beliefs or not. That is everyone's choice to make and nobody (me included) should tell you what is right and true for you. Only you can do that.
Once you have a pretty clean definition of what and how you wish to look at life that makes sense to YOU, you can then analyse if others are there to help you or not.
Also check my other post (http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_obe_discussions/progress_update_some_success_guide_thanks-t27212.0.html;msg226313#msg226313)
Unfortunately, I'm middle aged so this sort of stuff gets pretty important to people in my age bracket and I'm not sure of your age so I can only suggest to sit down with yourself and start writing down your beliefs and values- then see what thought patterns develop from there. Make it an ongoing journal of thoughts for a couple days/week etc. Then:
* Sort through what is really important to you based on your life expectations,
* Resolve those deep seated fears (such as if you have a fear of spiders - spend time just watching one build it's web and start to see positive aspects such as how they create a spiderweb. You will be stunned at how much thought it has to do to create the symmetrical patterns)
* Dump the obsolete and forced values placed on you (ensuring you retain the basics of being kind to others etc)
* And make a plan how you wish to achieve your goals, what issues may affect your progress and how you will deal with them and set meaningful benchmarks so you know if you are on the right track.
Here's a very basic example of one of mine.
- Goal: To become more spiritual and less materialistic
- Expected obstacles of this goal: Temptation to buy things I don't really need (Tv ads, seeing friends with new 'midlife crisis toys'
- Planned work-arounds: Resolve not to buy something I 'want' the same day. Resolve to wait a couple days and then see if I still actually need it or not AND leave credit cards at home
- How will I know if I've succeeded?: Maintain $*** balance in bank account each month
Hope this helps somehow...