Mental health and how to heal

[alterdive]

Hello everyone. I'm very very new to AP and I'd like to start experiencing it, but firstly I need to some guidance and advice about my current problems. (Also I'm very now to this site and I never used forums before so if I did something wrong let me know, please 🙏🏻)

My story about how I ended up where I am now is long so I won't specify what happened, but I'm currently having a major faith crisis (not exactly about AP, but just "non logical" things in general)

I dealt with many disappointments that now it's very hard to keep an open mind to things that aren't 100% proven scientifically. I'm not here to ask for proofs or anything, but more like... how can I keep an open mind to test for myself? I just feel like I have this enormous fear of the "unknown" and things regarded to spirituality or as I said that aren't 100% scientifically proven. It's making me feel very bad because I want to believe we are more than the "logics" says, but I can't seem to have the mental and emotional strength to test it for myself. I believe that starting something fearing/expecting the worse and only failures can contribute to failure and I can never know if it's actually not real or I just stood in my own way of finding out because of my negative mindset.

I'm currently extremely dissatisfied with myself, with who I am and my life in general, and my present and this crisis of faith keeps me from believing we are more than just our physical realities and therefore I'm afraid I have absolutely zero control of my life and future. Like I'll always have to just live by the circumstances and some things I can never have if it's not "meant" for me.

I think I'm constantly looking for a confirmation to feel more secure about what decisions I should make or not, what decisions are worth or not. I can't seem to have a mindset of just enjoying the experiences and the lessons learned, instead I'm always thinking about the possible failures and how extremely frustrated with myself and life I'd be.

As I said, I'm not looking for proofs here because even relates of experienced aren't enough for me, I always think "what if they're just confused? What if that's biased view? What if they're lying?" And so on. I used to be someone more spiritual, but now I feeling so numb and pessimistic about everything like existence is actually a prison and that my hopes, dreams, desires are just a shout into the void. I feel like I'm (we're) all alone and that's it. I don't feel like I have free will, I don't feel like there's something more than just what we see, I feel so lost and in agony.

Why I'm posting this here? Well, because this community seem to be focused in inner clarity and positive about those less "logical" things and more open minded about things we don't fully know and open about exploring the "occult" by taking a leap of faith without pre judgments and limitations imposed. Also, AP is something I'm not entirely skeptical about it cause one of my cousins, who is very smart, balanced and just not generally mystical believes it and claims he APs practically every night, he also told some experiences with his wife that eve her got shocked when it happened. I don't remember what he did exactly or how it happened, but he said he managed to discover she was ticked about something and wasn't telling him. She's also very balanced and wasn't acting in a passive aggressive way or giving any signs at all that something was bothering her, but he said he managed to discover that when he was in the astral realm. He gave time for her to maybe speak about it and when she didn't he came to her and said "so what you gonna do? You gonna tell me what's bothering you so we can sort things out?" and she was shocked how he managed to discover that. Anyways, he told much more experiences and explained how things worked (in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he's in this forum hehe)

I'm trying to restart everything and only focus in one thing at time, cause also one of my flaws is jumping from thing to thing looking for confirmations instead of putting actual time in practice. Currently my focus is the void state (yes I read the whole research made by Volgerle/Arenis and it was awesome. Very informative and objetive, I love it so much  ) but as I said, I think this fear of everything being fake and I'm just losing my time it's getting the best of me and much likely stopping me from making any progress at all. I can't even relax while meditating for the void cause constant thoughts of doubt and anxiety take over me (and when it's not this is a euphoric hope and expectation of reaching it which by theory is also a obstacle).

I'm just very stressed and overwhelmed with informations I'm reading and my thoughts about life/reality. I even thought about TW offing myself not because I'm sad, but because I'm tired of not having answers and I just wanted to see if there's anything more or not (even if I technically wouldn't remember anything regardless of the outcome lmao, but at least this agony of wanting an answer would end)

I hope my post is not off topic or "forbidden". I'll be extremely thankful to hear anyone's opinions and advice. Even if I'm not gonna get the answers I want I hope I at least can have a different outlook about this and get some peace of mind. Thank you 💙

[LightBeam]

Hi alterdrive and welcome to the pulse! It appears that you need to sort out your belief system from many aspects. I would suggest to watch the following videos and let me know what do you think. This channellner channels an extraterrestrial entity who provides information on existence and discovering who we are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBxCQN7tYzA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn5HJnVkQMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POsKj65pE7o&t=3389s

[omcasey]

Alterdive,

In situations like yours, and for us all, really, there is almost no-one better than Byron Katie and "The Work".

It is great you have identified the thoughts/tendencies behind the difficulty you're having. It takes more than making the identification, though, doesn't it? Maybe put them ( and yourself ) now through the Work. Byron explains the simple-but-not-easy process in this less than 9 minute clip. Her work has always fascinated me. She brings the complexity of self enquiry to everyday people and situations. It is truly brilliant. There are hundreds of videos on YouTube where you can sit and watch her work with people so that you can get the hang of how this is done.

The Work is a practice. Make THIS your practice until you are ready to move forward.

The mind we take into what we do is of primary importance to what we do.
(whatever that may be)

Remember- the Work is a meditative not mental process.

The Work of Byron Katie
1-2-3


Casey

[alterdive]

Hi alterdrive and welcome to the pulse! It appears that you need to sort out your belief system from many aspects. I would suggest to watch the following videos and let me know what do you think. This channellner channels an extraterrestrial entity who provides information on existence and discovering who we are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBxCQN7tYzA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn5HJnVkQMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POsKj65pE7o&t=3389s

Hello LightBeam

thank you so much for answering and linking those videos I'll definitely gonna take a look
But, not wanting to sound rude, is this guy really trustable?
I've encountered a few who seemed good, but turned out they lied and/or were scammers/charlatans.
I have a bit of trust issues when it comes to this so I'd like to know your opinion on him and why you trust him.

Again, I hope this isn't rude or impolite, I just want to make sure I'm consuming something without being worried about the thoughts if they're genuine or not.

Thank you

[LightBeam]

Hi alterdrive, no worries, you have the right to question. But first, give it a try and see what do you think. No one can convince you of anything, you have to decide for yourself. Only you can find your truth.

[Nameless]

Hi AlterDive and welcome to the pulse. First I want to applaud your bravery. Not many are capable or willing to step up and say 'I just don't know'.

I have personally found only one way to define myself and that is by defining what it is that I will stand for and what it is that I will not stand for. Over that I must accept the fact that I can be wrong. Therefor I must always be willing to apply grace to others as well as myself.

You have a name, a real name that is yours. What does that name mean to you? How do you want YOUR name to be defined? These are not questions for you to answer here but for you to ponder on for yourself.

This will not solve all your problems as if by magic but doing this will give you the foundation to which you can stand on.

[Tak]

Alterdive, welcome to the forum! Your words are full of strength and courage, downloading this information is an important step and will help you to see and understand your thoughts better. Your situation reminds me of mine 20 years ago, I would just like to tell you to consider your current situation as the first step towards a Great Awakening... many times we have to bottoming out, to look up, right? This is just part of this beautiful process (I know it's very hard) I had Aps as a child, however in my adolescence, I thought that perhaps I was wrong about them and I didn't believe in anything beyond the material, I thought that religions and sects invented these things to manipulate us, and as you say, that those beautiful dreams were only a desperate cry to our crude destiny, nothingness. That made me go into abominable depressions and like you, I thought it would be better to leave this world right now, because I had a very dystopian view of it and I didn't want to belong. This cry of despair, however, opened a kind of portal in my life, as if my Divine Core saw that I was ready to know The Truth. I started having spontaneous Aps, I met my Guide and experienced things that left me speechless, and then everything changed, my life completely lit up.

Perhaps it's of no use to tell verification experiences of these practices because, as you say, each person has to validate this for themselves. Ask your Divine Core to know The Truth, that you are ready, that you no longer want to live in the shadows, in sadness, in lies or ignorance, to show you the truth of who you are. Do it before going to sleep every night. With a strong desire and intention, you may be pleasantly surprised. Desire and intention are fundamental, if they are genuine and pure, you will receive what you are looking for soon.

Maybe you could start practicing Lucid Dreaming, there is no doubt that we all dream, right? And it's scientifically proven that it's possible to become aware in dreams. A book that helped me a lot with my practices is Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge, he founded an institute dedicated to researching the phenomenon. And it's not necessary to have any spiritual beliefs to practice them. From them you can also access the Void    Also shows techniques to help us solve problems in our daily lives through them.

It's very good to question, in fact I consider myself a great questioner, I'm like those annoying little children who are always asking the why of everything. Even the spiritual system of the souls I will question until I fully understand what is happening with us, I think it's the best way to learn, to investigate until we fully delve into the concepts. Take this questioning of life, not as an agony, but as a great adventure! Feel yourself like a detective of The Truth, putting together a huge puzzle and solving riddles. I'm sure that we will never be able to solve them in their entirety, only in Afterlife we'll understand better, but doing it from here is unique and wonderful. Instead of being a torture, let it be your purpose, to seek the Truth, and we can do it through all of these wonderful practices. Here in the forum, there are hundreds of techniques for the best projectors, it's worth taking a look!

Light for you! ★

Tak.

[alterdive]

Alterdive,

In situations like yours, and for us all, really, there is almost no-one better than Byron Katie and "The Work".

It is great you have identified the thoughts/tendencies behind the difficulty you're having. It takes more than making the identification, though, doesn't it? Maybe put them ( and yourself ) now through the Work. Byron explains the simple-but-not-easy process in this less than 9 minute clip. Her work has always fascinated me. She brings the complexity of self enquiry to everyday people and situations. It is truly brilliant. There are hundreds of videos on YouTube where you can sit and watch her work with people so that you can get the hang of how this is done.

The Work is a practice. Make THIS your practice until you are ready to move forward.

The mind we take into what we do is of primary importance to what we do.
(whatever that may be)

Remember- the Work is a meditative not mental process.

The Work of Byron Katie
1-2-3


Casey

Hello Casey, thank you for answering and for your advice, I'll take a look in this practice.

Surprisingly enough, I've heard of Byron Katie and since I was having major problems to trust any internet popular """"gurus""" I searched more about her and saw many negative comments towards her, even that she lied about lots of things. But I'm fairly conscious that just because some people take advantage of certain positions doesn't meant that everything is 100% fake. May I ask if you used this and how "The Work" helped you?

Again, thanks for answering and for your advice <3

[alterdive]

Hi AlterDive and welcome to the pulse. First I want to applaud your bravery. Not many are capable or willing to step up and say 'I just don't know'.

I have personally found only one way to define myself and that is by defining what it is that I will stand for and what it is that I will not stand for. Over that I must accept the fact that I can be wrong. Therefor I must always be willing to apply grace to others as well as myself.

You have a name, a real name that is yours. What does that name mean to you? How do you want YOUR name to be defined? These are not questions for you to answer here but for you to ponder on for yourself.

This will not solve all your problems as if by magic but doing this will give you the foundation to which you can stand on.

Hi Nameless, thank you for answering me.

That's definitely a good advice, I think problem that I have is wanting to know the ultimate true, but not trust in my self and my experiences. I also tend to look for validation and since obviously everyone has a different belief to everything I always get lost when I see opposite opinions and the reasons why each one have it.

It was nice to read the "I must accept the fact that I can be wrong" because I think I need to apply this to others as well and not only myself. I need to understand that people might be wrong just as same as they can be right, so I shouldn't rely solely on what others say and their experiences.

Thanks for answering and have a nice day 🙏🏻

[alterdive]

Alterdive, welcome to the forum! Your words are full of strength and courage, downloading this information is an important step and will help you to see and understand your thoughts better. Your situation reminds me of mine 20 years ago, I would just like to tell you to consider your current situation as the first step towards a Great Awakening... many times we have to bottoming out, to look up, right? This is just part of this beautiful process (I know it's very hard) I had Aps as a child, however in my adolescence, I thought that perhaps I was wrong about them and I didn't believe in anything beyond the material, I thought that religions and sects invented these things to manipulate us, and as you say, that those beautiful dreams were only a desperate cry to our crude destiny, nothingness. That made me go into abominable depressions and like you, I thought it would be better to leave this world right now, because I had a very dystopian view of it and I didn't want to belong. This cry of despair, however, opened a kind of portal in my life, as if my Divine Core saw that I was ready to know The Truth. I started having spontaneous Aps, I met my Guide and experienced things that left me speechless, and then everything changed, my life completely lit up.

Perhaps it's of no use to tell verification experiences of these practices because, as you say, each person has to validate this for themselves. Ask your Divine Core to know The Truth, that you are ready, that you no longer want to live in the shadows, in sadness, in lies or ignorance, to show you the truth of who you are. Do it before going to sleep every night. With a strong desire and intention, you may be pleasantly surprised. Desire and intention are fundamental, if they are genuine and pure, you will receive what you are looking for soon.

Maybe you could start practicing Lucid Dreaming, there is no doubt that we all dream, right? And it's scientifically proven that it's possible to become aware in dreams. A book that helped me a lot with my practices is Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge, he founded an institute dedicated to researching the phenomenon. And it's not necessary to have any spiritual beliefs to practice them. From them you can also access the Void    Also shows techniques to help us solve problems in our daily lives through them.

It's very good to question, in fact I consider myself a great questioner, I'm like those annoying little children who are always asking the why of everything. Even the spiritual system of the souls I will question until I fully understand what is happening with us, I think it's the best way to learn, to investigate until we fully delve into the concepts. Take this questioning of life, not as an agony, but as a great adventure! Feel yourself like a detective of The Truth, putting together a huge puzzle and solving riddles. I'm sure that we will never be able to solve them in their entirety, only in Afterlife we'll understand better, but doing it from here is unique and wonderful. Instead of being a torture, let it be your purpose, to seek the Truth, and we can do it through all of these wonderful practices. Here in the forum, there are hundreds of techniques for the best projectors, it's worth taking a look!

Light for you! ★

Tak.

Hello and wow Tak, thank you so much for your answer. It's good to know someone has been through the same things as me cause it means that you truly understand how it feels.

I'm happy you were able to overcome the mentality that we're nothing beyond the physical, it might be truly blessing and I hope I can achieve that as well.

You're right about the lucid dreaming, I might as well start with something that doesn't require a leap of faith since it's already proven, it might be easier to execute since I won't have intrusive thoughts of doubts in the process. I remember lucid dreaming once (but it was quite fragile, my dreams are always a bit unstable even when I'm aware and they don't feel much real) I tried to get into the void, but nothing happened... I wonder why. But maybe I should try again of course, who knows?

Also I've been asking for my guides for some help, I hope I can get any signs, I'm patiently waiting.

Thanks for the answer and light for you as well.

[omcasey]

Hello Casey, thank you for answering and for your advice, I'll take a look in this practice.

Surprisingly enough, I've heard of Byron Katie and since I was having major problems to trust any internet popular """"gurus""" I searched more about her and saw many negative comments towards her, even that she lied about lots of things. But I'm fairly conscious that just because some people take advantage of certain positions doesn't meant that everything is 100% fake. May I ask if you used this and how "The Work" helped you?

Again, thanks for answering and for your advice <3

You are welcome, Alterdive.

And I honestly can't even imagine. Byron Katie is an EXCEPTIONAL teacher. I can only think such a thing would be a smear campaign. Today's internet.

What she teaches is a form of atma vichara ( self enquiry ) designed for everyday people. Atma vichara has been my main spiritual discipline. It is not easy for regular thinking people but for me it has always been like coming home. I practice a more direct form, than going through the emotions, judgements, and negative thought constructs. <-- I do not have many ( if any ) of these. So the practice is one of attention on attention itself, or awareness on awareness itself.--inwardly following the question "who am I?" When a thought occurs, any thought, the question is not "is it true", it is "to whom does this though occur?" The question is followed. If the mind moves and says "it occurs to me", then the question once more is "who am I?" The result of this is a sustained quieting of the mind. - for the conscious mind ( some might say 'ego' ) does not know. This discipline clears the way and takes one deeper and deeper into the self.

The vast majority of those on the planet today are too distracted for the direct method, so indirect methods such as Byron Katie's can be a godsend. It works in a very similar way, clearing the way, resolving certain tendencies of thought, such as the ones you share in your original post. The Work is designed to help one get clear on the fact that the mind/ego DOES NOT KNOW. Once this awareness becomes more rooted into the conscious self, direct self enquire becomes possible.

I do hope this helps.


Casey