Karma...And my morals as well.

[markulous]

I'm not sure what forum to post this on.  Anyway I wondered if anyone here has really had bad experiences in their life and whether or not they attribute them to karma from their past lives?  It seems I have horrible luck with just about everything.  People seem to rarely ever like me.  Not that anyone strongly dislikes me but it just seems no matter what I do sometimes people just are turned off by me.  I ask some people and they say it's just something about me.  I've had most of my friends and family turn on me(steal, lie or otherwise) so much that it just seems odd.  I realize I'm kind of unconventional in a lot of ways but that's just who I am.  I don't ever criticize people or say anything bad about them(especially when they aren't present).  I try to always help people and never think of myself as better than other people.  I value friendship above just about anything else yet people still dislike me or try to screw me over in some way.  It's just so much it seems like something is out to get me.  My only explination really is past karma.  Anyone else feel the same way about their life?

I try my best to do what is right so that my "karma" will even out.  And I'm not doing it to get credit for something, just because it's right.  That seems like another thing that makes people mad.  I will do what is right even to people that are my "enemies".  I don't think doing something bad to someone is okay just because they have bad intentions.  I can forgive people quite easily and will keep my word even if I'm dealing with someone who is "bad".  People think I'm an idiot but I think that you should stand by your values and morals even when your dealing with someone that isn't your buddy.  I think the way you treat strangers and your enemies is just as important as how you treat your friends.  Yet hardly anyone ever agrees with me.  They are just like "Screw them.  They are trying to screw you over so you screw them over first."  I don't know if I keep running into people like that to test me, because of karma, or what really.

Anyone else feel the same?

[Astir]

Well, I wouldn't say that you should screw your ememies over either...but I don't agree that you should have to do anything for them if they treat you horribly. If someone is bent on treating you bad, don't waste your time on them. No one deserves pain, but some people deserve nothing. If you are as good a person as you say, then in this life you already deserve not having to deal with those particular people. Let them be, changing is up to them only.

Karma, I believe, is a matter that is up to you in which way you pay each debt. So if you believe firmly this is karma, it's possible it really is. I have a lot of strange karma, but I know it was assigned (sort of) by me. Not some force beyond my control. I think there is a matter of guilt and forgiveness involved in each karmatic debt. You suffer to learn, you do not suffer to suffer. Don't see this as a penalty or beyond your control...don't stop to feel sorry for yourself, that's the most counterproductive thing you can do.

Continue to be yourself and help others as you see fit. But try not to exhaust your good nature on those who don't appreciate it. You will be happier once you discard the desire to please those who cannot be pleased.

[markulous]

I don't know I just feel helpless to stop it sometimes.  But I think I agree with what you said "You suffer to learn".  All of the things that have happened to me has made me a better person no doubt.  It's just frustrating when it seems like everyone is against you sometimes...

Well it's not that I exhaust myself helping people that will bring me down.  Here is an example of something that happened recently: I knew someone that would help me sell a car of mine.  He said if he got a large amount of money for it could he get a high percentage.  I said yes thinking he wouldn't be able to sell it for that.  Turns out he did.  Everyone at work said I needed to change the deal because I was getting screwed(it was just some old junker that was sitting in my yard that I inherited, so basically anything I got was profit).  I told them I gave him my word that I would do the deal.  They started saying "There isn't a written contract, he has no ethics, you should change the deal, etc."  I just said I didn't care what he or anyone else thought of me.  I gave my word and I will stick by that.  Besides it's just money.

So basically its when I HAVE to deal with someone who is morally unequipped(in one way or another) I will still try to deal with them with honor even though they might not give me a second thought.  Everyone else thinks I'm stupid for being that way, but they don't have to go home and look at me in the mirror every night.

[Awake-and-Aware]

Wow, there's a lot 'try's there, too many I think.

If you try to be liked, they will try to like you... and fail.

How people act towards you comes from you, not them.

Trying to be liked = "No one likes me" (and your reality is born).

Examine yourself, try to find where morality ends and "trying to liked" begins.

Morality = an act of kindness

Trying to be liked = an act of kindness expecting something in return

Trying is emotionally reaching out and pulling people towards you, to fill the hole you feel inside. When people are being pulled the natural reaction is to resist capture.

You never critisize or say anything bad about people? Do you know what that screams to everyone? "No one likes me, please like me". Morality and neediness must be separated.
Critisize if the critisism is true (and warrants mention), otherwise you are hiding in fear. Critisize in a helpful manner, don't just let them know of the critisism, that just makes you sound like prick. Let them know that it's not really a bad thing, show that you understand why they are this way and that is based on real reasons, good reasons (because they are good to them). Then offer them your reasons for why you see it as bad. Basically this way you aren't critisizing, you are starting a conversation about that person, a nonthreatening conversation that they may learn from.
You can make critisisms up to be funny (basically just being playful, not making fun of them).
Your projected message now changes from "No one likes me, please like me" to "I don't NEED you to like me, therefore I comfortably tell it how it is, but I'm not a jerk. What I say is thought-out and/or funny and never said in order to insult." This is a much more "attractive" and respectable projection.

"You suffer to learn".  All of the things that have happened to me has made me a better person no doubt.

There is a difference between a "better person" and an overly nice person living in fear of rejection. It's a fine line that you must find.

I knew someone that would help me sell a car of mine.  He said if he got a large amount of money for it could he get a high percentage.  I said yes thinking he wouldn't be able to sell it for that. Turns out he did.

Sticking by your morals is important, but don't let them blind you. Whatever amount of money you got for your car was profit, yes, but so was whatever "you allowed him to have". You were the one in charge of the situation at all times (how much he gets was ALWAYS up to you). Letting him know that you aren't going to be ripped off, that you didn't believe he could get that price and you agreed just to shut him up isn't immoral. You aren't being nasty or untruthful in anyway (and if someone makes you give them your word, thats a big clue he knew he could get that price). At this point he will accept (and be grateful for) whatever you give him. He wont dislike you for this (he will dislike the situation, because he's lost an opportunity to screw someone over), he will likely respect you for it.

I just said I didn't care what he or anyone else thought of me.

But you do care, that's where your problem lies.

I gave my word and I will stick by that.  Besides it's just money.

Yeah it's just money, so why bother selling your car in the first place? Why not just give it away? Recognise how your word can become your enemy, this is never moral.

Morals are one thing, but allowing yourself to be taken advantage of just because you were tricked into saying "I promise" is NOT moral in any way. He was trying to get as much money (undeserved) out of you as he possibly could. Your morals aren't there to help people milk you for what they can get. The moral thing would be to prevent this "moral crime", allowing it is immoral, do you see?

Analyse yourself, morality and neediness are blended together inside you, find them, define them, and separate them. The morality is what you see, the neediness is what others see.

You have a defeatist attitude, almost like you are blaming (condemning?) your morals for how people treat you. When people complain or make fun don't say things like "I don't care what you think" turn it around onto them in totally unaffected tone of voice as though their opinion of your morals effects you in no way at all. Say things like "Stop trying to corrupt me, your just jealous"  or "well thats why you love me".

Project the fact that you DON'T NEED them and your not clinging on to them and  that you are fine without them (playful and/or genuine critisism shows this). Don't constantly try to please, it makes you look weak, find the balance, look for the point where morally doing something for someone else becomes immoral against you. You are who you are and anyone whoever doesn't like it will just be wasting their breath complaing.

Become someone who doesn't need, never cling to people, dont be scared of accidentally upsetting them, if it happens simply apologize. dont hang around them for unnecassry amounts of time. Just act like you would act if the world was being clingy with you and you wanted some space.

Recognise what you are projecting, how others see your 'kindness', but not as 'kindness'. Why be kind if it isn't percieved as kindness?

Then alter what you are projecting.

You can find the answers in yourself. You simply need to ponder all related aspects (why people act the way they do, what would cause you to act that way), it all comes from a simple lack of understanding of yourself and those around you.

I hope you find this useful.
Awake-and-Aware

[Mez]

Aside from understanding Karma you need a good understanding of The Law Of Attraction.