I never made one of these introductory threads, so in an ironic twist I thought I'd put my goodbye post here. :)
As I mentioned over in...
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15934
... I'm leaving my parents so they can heal themselves, which means leaving my house, my computer, my internet connection, this forum, and everything else for the time being. Staying in this house is debilitating, and it has been all my life.
My timing could be worse. I have no money and no reliable place to go. I dropped out of college after three years, so I have few marketable skills. But that's okay, I don't want to market myself anyways.
So, incipit vita nova. Here begins a new life.
I have no fears about finding a place to live or the direction my life will take. I don't fear death, poverty, sickness, pain, suffering, or loneliness. My life will be completely in the hands of spirit. And it's about time. 8)
For those who are concerned - relax. I've been considering this for years, but the only thing holding me back was the health of my parents and my family. But I've done all I can do here. I've got to go - far away, and start from scratch, literally, with my bare hands.
People need dreams. The "American dream" is taken for granted and often confused. People don't believe it's possible to build a life from nothing at all - at least, not a very good one. I'll prove those dreamless people wrong. People need to know it's possible. The homeless, especially, need to know it's possible.
I have the support of my guide. Sort of ;) I have a guide that challenges me to be independent and self-made in the most extreme way possible. I want to answer that challenge. I know I sound crazy, but I'm going to have the most honest fun.
I'm telling you all this because I want you to also believe in yourself in the deepest way possible, to see that your life encompasses a wider reality, and to not confine yourself within walls of fear. But, if you come to this site, you probably already know that ;)
I'm leaving after January 1st. I'll be back on this forum when I get a new place, a new computer, and a new internet connection, and not a moment too soon. It might be a while, but then... who knows?
Good luck, and Happy New Year!
Hi,
Good luck, I hope you find place you can call home.
regards,
Little Star Orion
Quote from: TelosI never made one of these introductory threads, so in an ironic twist I thought I'd put my goodbye post here. :)
As I mentioned over in...
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15934
... I'm leaving my parents so they can heal themselves, which means leaving my house, my computer, my internet connection, this forum, and everything else for the time being. Staying in this house is debilitating, and it has been all my life.
My timing could be worse. I have no money and no reliable place to go. I dropped out of college after three years, so I have few marketable skills. But that's okay, I don't want to market myself anyways.
So, incipit vita nova. Here begins a new life.
I have no fears about finding a place to live or the direction my life will take. I don't fear death, poverty, sickness, pain, suffering, or loneliness. My life will be completely in the hands of spirit. And it's about time. 8)
For those who are concerned - relax. I've been considering this for years, but the only thing holding me back was the health of my parents and my family. But I've done all I can do here. I've got to go - far away, and start from scratch, literally, with my bare hands.
People need dreams. The "American dream" is taken for granted and often confused. People don't believe it's possible to build a life from nothing at all - at least, not a very good one. I'll prove those dreamless people wrong. People need to know it's possible. The homeless, especially, need to know it's possible.
I have the support of my guide. Sort of ;) I have a guide that challenges me to be independent and self-made in the most extreme way possible. I want to answer that challenge. I know I sound crazy, but I'm going to have the most honest fun.
I'm telling you all this because I want you to also believe in yourself in the deepest way possible, to see that your life encompasses a wider reality, and to not confine yourself within walls of fear. But, if you come to this site, you probably already know that ;)
I'm leaving after January 1st. I'll be back on this forum when I get a new place, a new computer, and a new internet connection, and not a moment too soon. It might be a while, but then... who knows?
Good luck, and Happy New Year!
Wow Telos, that's BIG. I wish you the best of luck. I know it wasn't your intention, and you do seem to have a positive attitude, but your story does make me a bit sad. I guess it's because I can relate to an extent.
Your bravery is to be commended.
Good luck Telos, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Safe journey
Good luck and stay safe Telos. :)
Telos
You will be missed.
Hope to see you again one day...
Enjoy the journey!
Sarah
just a thought-
need room and board, I spent quite a few years enjoying working the concessions in the national parks. Bed, food, a small amount of money, lots of open space to think about "nature"
jobsinparadise.com, coolworks.com. cooljobs.com, jobmonkey.com
here's a list to begin.
Your very brave. Good luck!
I really wish I could summarize the sheer life changing experiences I have had over the past week and a half. I feel I could write a dissertation just on the intricacies of Evangelical Christian homeless shelters and how they affect their tenants (as opposed to, say, a Catholic approach).
I know I said the next time I'd come back to the forum, it would be on a new comp in my own place, but I returned home temporarily. The problems of homelessness are evidently rooted with belief. What belief? That work doesn't get you to heaven and, therefore, doesn't get you happiness. As you might imagine, this problem is definitely not limited to the homeless.
In a few weeks, I'm leaving for Coast Guard training. Since my parents were the ones who first recommended it, this makes them happier than otherwise. I have many reasons for joining the USCG, but suffice it to say, I just want my professional life to be one of learning and service.
Thank you all for your discussion, thoughts, and prayers.
Quote from: TelosI really wish I could summarize the sheer life changing experiences I have had over the past week and a half. I feel I could write a dissertation just on the intricacies of Evangelical Christian homeless shelters and how they affect their tenants (as opposed to, say, a Catholic approach).
I know I said the next time I'd come back to the forum, it would be on a new comp in my own place, but I returned home temporarily. The problems of homelessness are evidently rooted with belief. What belief? That work doesn't get you to heaven and, therefore, doesn't get you happiness. As you might imagine, this problem is definitely not limited to the homeless.
In a few weeks, I'm leaving for Coast Guard training. Since my parents were the ones who first recommended it, this makes them happier than otherwise. I have many reasons for joining the USCG, but suffice it to say, I just want my professional life to be one of learning and service.
Thank you all for your discussion, thoughts, and prayers.
Hey Telos,
I've been wondering about you since you've been gone. Hope you're feeling better than before.
What belief? That work doesn't get you to heaven and, therefore, doesn't get you happiness. As you might imagine, this problem is definitely not limited to the homeless.Is this your belief? Can u elaborate on this? Do you think that this is a problem for u? or just part of your spiritual growth/ spiritual realizations?
Telos,
I wish you luck on your journey and hope that, when you return to us, you will have many interesting adventures to tell us about and much knowledge to share :)
Good luck wanderer.
Quote from: NosticIs this your belief? Can u elaborate on this? Do you think that this is a problem for u? or just part of your spiritual growth/ spiritual realizations?
Oh, no, that is definitely not my belief. But this seems to be the belief of the long-term homeless and of Evangelical Christians. I'm not sure quite how to articulate it. Problems like these will always be complex, but this seems to be the gist of it. In a bizarre way, Protestant Christianity appears to feed and dilute the real feelings of hopelessness that the impoverished have.
I made a post (lengthy) over in Modern Christianity.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=16415
Thanks again, Nostic and SD.
Welcome back for as long as you're here!!!
It's a little off subject, but there's a powerful fiction book by Megan Lindholm called Wizard of the Pigeons that might be timely. It's hard to find, so the universe will have to smile on you to put it to hand.
From a review:
Wizard Of The Pigeons
by Megan Lindholm ? Copyright 1986
Review by D. D. Shade ? July 22, 1998
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Megan Lindholm's book, Wizard of the Pigeons, is also a book of wisdom. Here are some examples:
Children are people whom you will one day have to face. Therefore they should be treated with respect.
When you are mugged, it's not your money or your life that is taken; it's your freedom. The freedom to take a long walk in the evening on streets that should be yours.
There is only one rule about violence. Do whatever you must do to make it go away.
Giving involves taking. You cannot give of yourself until you allow others to give to you.
You cannot become a Wizard until you've given away, lost, or are willing to lose all that you have.
Hello, Telos dear,
Much love to you and take care of yourself!
I'm glad you're back, things are not so simply drawn, life is too subtle mistery, that you cannot solve it always though simple solutions.
Actually, what I wanted to say is... what kind of a guide is that who tears you away from your family? What is he or she giving to you? He should give you self realisation, for all the rest, like comfort, intellectual pleasures, healing there are other things, like friends, teachers or good books and doctors and psychologists. A guide is something else, he should be there for your self realisation.
You see, I have a mentor for more than 6 years, and though she made me become more and more detached from everything, including family, this very much improved my relations with people and with my parents. Detachment does not mean breaking relations, but allowing God's love or spiritual love to give you everything, so that you don't need do ask it from the simple people around you, who anyway are also in need of support. And the next step in becoming detached is letting this nourishing energy of love spread also over your neighbors.
Psychologically speaking, problems with parents a rooted in the fact that we have not yet integrated within ourselves the father and mother image. In other words, if for the time being we are supposed, in your spiritual growth, to awaken within the image of God as a Father, this inward tension will express outside as a problem with the physical father. And with the mother is the same. I'm telling you from my own experience, it works like that. And the deeper I manage to go into integrating these divine or archetypal Father and Mother images, the better the relations with my parents become.
But a guide should know that, and if he does not know, you better take care! I really mean it and I hope you won't be upset because I told you this. But I've just seen very special people losing too much for nothing.
I spent more time in company of special spiritual people, some of them very closed to enlightenment, it has been like paradise, and it felt like wanted to live near them forever. But their effect was that they made me want to face reality and cured more and more the difficulties I had home.
Only once I've been in a camp with come missionaries (it was a camp for learning English and reading paragraphs from the Bible). It was nice, but nothing special, just talking, spiritually it was much less than I had experienced before, so nothing to make me join them. Still, I felt a very funny effect of them upon me: when I got home I was looking at my parents as if they were strangers to me, like a subtle wall between us. I almost got scared, but it was good, because I understood much of this experience. Spirituality is supposed to brake false walls and cure wound, but if it is just talking, the effect is the opposite.
We live special times for spirituality, no need for challenges.
Wish you and your whole family all the best!
Ana-Maria
Wow, thank you for that post, Ana-Maria. Very perceptive and loving words. I'm musing over them for reasons which may not seem obvious.
But, definitely,
QuoteSpirituality is supposed to brake false walls and cure wound, but if it is just talking, the effect is the opposite.
... this is beautiful. This is the thought that motivates me.
Telos,
Good to see you back. I was wondering about you while you were gone. I read your post in Modern Christianity, interesting.
Your not concerned about serving in the military duty right now?
The Coast Guard seems more humanitarian than the other branches of the military. Rather than just focusing on blowing things up and killing people, it's closer to law enforcement and other duties that generally serve a civilization (search and rescue, aids to navigation, maritime safety, etc.). While in it, I'll most likely specialize in medicine or another type of science.
They rescue stranded boaters! I like that.
They're also part of the Dept. of Homeland Security, which in my mind seems more like actual defense, and makes the Defense Dept. look like an Offense Dept. :?
What do yo think? I haven't signed any papers yet.
Telos,
QuoteI haven't signed any papers yet.
You were reading my mind! I was wondering that. :)
Wouldn't it be American to say? ...Think about it !!!!! or...Give it some time to think about.
I hate to say this but as long as there are protests against the war, it will be prolonged. That's my opinion.
Your parents are FOR you signing up during "war time"?
I've just read your essay on Protestant belief and homeless. It's very pertinent and it seems to me to be not only correct as a spiritual analysis, but also of literary or journalistic value. I was wondering, what were you studying at college, before quiting it?
I believe that there is a path for each of us, one may call it destined way or God's will or personal Dharma or vocation... I don't know, there must be some more names given to it :) . Maybe also the result of bringing dream and day to day reality together and making them work as a whole... Could it be?
Sometimes life is a matter of learning and growing, but there is one point at which there is only one way to chose, the 'given' one, and the only choice is that between 'Yes' and 'No'. And of course, the better is the 'Yes'. Sometime the 'No' can be corrected in time, sometime it can lead to destruction. And spirit will never be destructed, but persons can be very much hurt. I would say that this 'Yes' is like the one one say when starting a marriage (and maybe because of this resemblance divorce is not a very effective solution for persons and souls), or when people bend their heads in the church and say 'I do', only this one is an 'Yes' to one's own life. A step into one's own self.
:wink: Thank you for making me think of these things! Now I realised that the danger comes out when this 'Yes' is being institutionalised, like people submitted to a social pressure of having fixed expectation towards what a marriage should be, or fanaticism or false face of religion instead of genuine connexion to their spirit. I mean, institutionalising this experience is fake, because it is a spontaneous step in evolution, we can be prepared through education for it, but we cannot make it happen before it is the right time.
This was for me kind of very interesting time and experience in my last year of study: to discover this 'only one way' state of mind, I would not have expected. For instance I struggled a lot to find a subject for my graduation essay, which should represent me, I've changed a few subjects and coordinators :? :wink: , but in the end I discovered that I had been lead, during about two years, both in my study and in life, towards one particular book and one particular understanding. I'm not sure this is relevant, it's how I tried to explain this.
I feel, somehow, that you will make very nicely your way into life. Because there is so much compassion and understanding expressed it what you are writing, and there is much more behind it, which has not yet manifested, but it will. So, don't bother to run away, it's just you standing there and you will make it. Just reflect a bit upon yourself and see what you will discover!
I hope this was not too long, I have this habit of talking too much, sometime.
:wink:
Ana-Maria
QuoteWouldn't it be American to say? ...Think about it !!!!! or...Give it some time to think about.
I'm not sure if it would be American, but it would be sensible ;)
QuoteI hate to say this but as long as there are protests against the war, it will be prolonged
Interesting. What do you think is the causal relationship between protests and prolonged conflict? Is it prolonged conflict that causes protest or the other way around?
Anyways, it's unlikely I'd be deployed anywhere internationally. I'd probably be in Alaska, the US Pacific Islands, or the Gulf of Mexico.
QuoteYour parents are FOR you signing up during "war time
Oh, yes, absolutely. Actually, my father has pressured me with it ever since I was young. Of course, I'd tell him to shut his mouth up, and that I'd make my own decisions.
Wisp, I'm looking for a way to encourage the growth of humanity. Ideally, the Coast Guard functions as a shield protecting the innocent and human rights. Do you have reason to think otherwise? Not to put you on the spot, but I value your input.
I was still writing this long post, when Wisp sent to you the last messages. I was kind of meaning the same.
Try to figure out what you wanted to become, as a child, sometime it helps. Or which your best abilities are. Sometime is good to wish more then less you could achieve. Anyway, the decision has to be taken by yourself.
Ana-maria, I absolutely agree with your bolded statement. There's nothing quite like experiencing the freedom of creativity and self-directed learning. Although I'm not a diehard Catholic, the Vatican II Declaration of Religious Freedom (http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_decl_19651207_dignitatis-humanae_en.html) says it nicely.
"The truth cannot impose itself except by virtue of its own truth, as it makes its entrance into the mind at once quietly and with power."Quotewhat were you studying at college, before quiting it?
Business Economics. I had many reasons for leaving, but I touched on one of them in thread about Economics and Spirituality (http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=140415#140415).
QuoteTry to figure out what you wanted to become, as a child, sometime it helps. Or which your best abilities are. Sometime is good to wish more then less you could achieve.
As a child, I wanted to win the lottery and get it over with. How's that for wishing more than what I could achieve. ;)
Ironically, I've been frightened at how close I've been to a handful of predictions through dreams. They really caused me to question whether or not it was a sensible thing to do. It caused me to look more into the nature of money and value.
Telos,
It is an advantage politically for war protests to feed more insurgents into the troubled area. The conflict is prolonged because of the collective cry against war. If the nations(collectively) and people(individually) would hush their opinions for a short while, the insurgency will either stop or at least have to change it's course of action.
The insurgency(appearing suicidal) are probably those who are forced into it because of threats to their family by the powers that be, if they don't.The powers that be are trusting of the feelings of anti-war sentiment to give them strength.Ironically, this is what the war is about, freedom to choose. But if your family is being threatening, what would you do? Anything the thugs tells you to do.
The military has different rules during war time. I've heard there are no guarantees to where you may or may not go. Be careful that you are informed before you sign up.
Sorry, but I don't connect military with humanitarian causes. I've heard this about the Peace Corps, and it has political quagmires. Maybe in a collective way perhaps?
Are you ready for the collective mindset? I doubt if it would be much different in Medical Corps.
Just my personal opinion.
:D :D :D :D Great!
Anyway, it's more constructive than dreaming to become a pensioner, as other kids do!!! :D
But it could be something in this. Symbolically, I mean... :)
Seriously, I do feel that anyone has a destiny to decode and fulfill.
I read your 'Economics and Spirituality', but I'll try to give a reply tomorrow. It's over midnight here, and I don't have a head for Economics even at day light. I don't think Economics are basically wrong. It's the human mind making them wrong, but the same human mind (in a bit enlightened condition :wink: ) can find solutions even here. Who knows?
QuoteIt is an advantage politically for war protests to feed more insurgents into the troubled area. The conflict is prolonged because of the collective cry against war. If the nations(collectively) and people(individually) would hush their opinions for a short while, the insurgency will either stop or at least have to change it's course of action.
Edit: Sorry about my American generalizations of the words "coast guard" and "current disadvantaged political party" and so on... I know those words may apply to other countries as well. ;) Let me see if I follow your line of thinking by using Iraq as an example. The current disadvantaged political party (Democrats) can gain a political advantage by encouraging more insurgents to fight in Iraq? And the current insurgency would diminish if there were no more protests?
Are there any historical examples to corroborate this? Obviously, the ruling party looks like a fool when it loses a war or makes a mess of things, but I'm skeptical that anti-war protests have as much of an impact on insurgency, as you suggest. Is there any evidence?
Wisp, as a personal question, do you feel that military personnel are at fault for choosing their line of work? George Carlin has that reasoning, saying, "I blame the soldiers on the both sides. They're the ones who show up. There wouldn't be a war if nobody showed up." He does have a point. (And he was, after all, in the Air Force for a short while).
QuoteAnyway, it's more constructive than dreaming to become a pensioner, as other kids do!!!
Ha! You have a point, there. I never thought of it that way.
QuoteLet me see if I follow your line of thinking by using Iraq as an example. The current disadvantaged political party (Democrats) can gain a political advantage by encouraging more insurgents to fight in Iraq? And the current insurgency would diminish if there were no more protests?
Sorry but this wasn't what I was saying at all, but if the shoe fits the (Democrats). :)
Actually I was talking from the perspective of the physical enemy.How the enemy puts it's cause at an advantage politically? War protests helps the physical enemy's cause.Spiritual assist comes from intentional and unintentional sources.
Oh my no. Military personnel are not at fault for choosing their line of work. It appears more necessary than a problem. Just as there are many things necessary until something better replaces it. In the case of the present war, the thugs running the Iraq terrorist movement are far from being an example of something to replace military intervention. Using the military to gain control of out of control criminals is necessary.
I enjoyed reading the link you placed called Economics and Spirituality. I missed seeing it there. Why don't you finish up the last leg of your Economics Ed.? The doors of opportunity are endless if you do. Why come this far and letting it go?
I want to comment in that thread when I get a chance.
Telos, good luck. From reading your posts, I admire you. Stay safe.
QuoteWhy don't you finish up the last leg of your Economics Ed.? The doors of opportunity are endless if you do. Why come this far and letting it go?
Shouldn't the doors of opportunity be endless now? For everyone? If not, then all this talk about spirituality is nonsense.
I'm very disturbed at how society worships degrees and doctorates like false idols. Recognition of merit shouldn't be institutionalized. Accomplishments are best when they are self-evident.
Do you think maybe I'm being childish?
True enough,Telos. But I equate that with choosing to go down with a ship with people you have no responsibility for. Your not only not the crew, but hardly the captain either. This may sound harsh but if you find this to be so yourself someday, your in for some serious disappointment. I have three sisters. They all followed in my footsteps. Why? Because I always had/have money. Two of them had ideals like yours, they saved themselves.
People choose what they do whether their aware on a conscious level or not. Many more are aware than not, I might add.
True too, I dislike the labels and adoration which comes from an honest and well earned accomplishment. But, where would civilization be if everyone stayed behind?
More can be accomplished within the walls of the establishment than from the outside. And even though you have no interest in the subject, there are other open avenues to areas you have yet to discover,and with your ticket in hand, your ready. Your obviously very intelligent, why not make yourself available? Hmmm makes me think of the Economy and Spirituality thread.
You never know what's around the corner. You must have a good reason for taking a break. It has to be a better one than being a martyr. Sorry for my bluntness.
Nothing wrong with making a good buck with that degree, money=energy! You strike me as someone who can make it count (not required and no obligation). And if not, at least you'll have more options while you make a decent buck.
You're right, wisp, as per usual.
QuoteSorry for my bluntness.
No, that's exactly what I'm looking for! Or, pure honesty. You're definitely helping me rethink this.
It's not so much that merit is institutionalized into the economic resource of a college degree. It's more that studying economics, or any field of collegiate study, doesn't appear to be much of an accomplishment. :? The only real accomplishment is being able to suffer through the boredom.
Last summer, I desperately wanted to get college over with, so I enrolled in 21 credits over the objections of the college vice president, who said it wasn't realistic. I completed them all with a B average. I'm told that I'm the only student in the history of the college to attempt that many credits in so little time. My parents think it was "Herculean," my advisor said I pulled off something "amazing." But my friends knew better. They know that such a feat is possible, but at the risk of becoming a complete robot, instead of a temporary one. And that's exactly how I felt - like a mindless robot. The only reason I didn't get an A was because I chopped off lessons that were the least meaningful (ironically, this included not only economics and finance, but also philosophy and theology), not to devote time to other studies, but clean my head of further robotic garbage.
I'm scared that when I look back on my degree, I won't think of it as an accomplishment, but rather a certification that I've been trained as a mind slave the market. And that the jobs available to me will not because of my real merits, but because I'm docile enough to be "managed."
My reasoning for joining the Coast Guard is that, if I'm going to be a mind slave, why not do it for something meaningful? Something that is supposed to be honorable, adventurous, and rewarding to the soul?
My parents keep telling me that I have to finish college because I have to "pay my dues to society," in the way that I must submit to its institutions that recognize merit
before going off to do whatever it is that I would do - no matter what it is. But it really seems to me that going to college is a sign of disingenuousness, or a disbelief in spirituality - because spirituality is supposed to open doors to happiness regardless of your qualifications.
Maybe all this talk of spirituality is really a message that one must subdue themselves to the market... which includes, after all, all of humanity?
Thank you so much for engaging me in this discussion, wisp. I have the feeling that I will endlessly appreciate it.
Quote from: TelosYou're right, wisp, as per usual.
QuoteSorry for my bluntness.
No, that's exactly what I'm looking for! Or, pure honesty. You're definitely helping me rethink this.
It's not so much that merit is institutionalized into the economic resource of a college degree. It's more that studying economics, or any field of collegiate study, doesn't appear to be much of an accomplishment. :? The only real accomplishment is being able to suffer through the boredom.
Last summer, I desperately wanted to get college over with, so I enrolled in 21 credits over the objections of the college vice president, who said it wasn't realistic. I completed them all with a B average. I'm told that I'm the only student in the history of the college to attempt that many credits in so little time. My parents think it was "Herculean," my advisor said I pulled off something "amazing." But my friends knew better. They know that such a feat is possible, but at the risk of becoming a complete robot, instead of a temporary one. And that's exactly how I felt - like a mindless robot. The only reason I didn't get an A was because I chopped off lessons that were the least meaningful (ironically, this included not only economics and finance, but also philosophy and theology), not to devote time to other studies, but clean my head of further robotic garbage.
I'm scared that when I look back on my degree, I won't think of it as an accomplishment, but rather a certification that I've been trained as a mind slave the market. And that the jobs available to me will not because of my real merits, but because I'm docile enough to be "managed."
My reasoning for joining the Coast Guard is that, if I'm going to be a mind slave, why not do it for something meaningful? Something that is supposed to be honorable, adventurous, and rewarding to the soul?
My parents keep telling me that I have to finish college because I have to "pay my dues to society," in the way that I must submit to its institutions that recognize merit before going off to do whatever it is that I would do - no matter what it is. But it really seems to me that going to college is a sign of disingenuousness, or a disbelief in spirituality - because spirituality is supposed to open doors to happiness regardless of your qualifications.
Maybe all this talk of spirituality is really a message that one must subdue themselves to the market... which includes, after all, all of humanity?
Thank you so much for engaging me in this discussion, wisp. I have the feeling that I will endlessly appreciate it.
You seem to have a great distaste for school Telos. In that, we have something in common.
Growing-up, school was such a torture for me. All of the endless, dull, lifeless, useless information they teach you... I don't know how I made it through so many years.
When you talk about being a robot... "robot" is the
perfect word to describe it. There is nothing dynamic or penetrating about any of what is taught. It's all surface information... mostly meaningless trivia... stuff that flies out of your head soon after you no longer need it- that is, "need it" in order to pass some test or whatever.
One of the things that you must consider is that, you know, as time goes by, a college degree becomes more and more insignificant. As more people get them, it's no longer something special. Then you have to ask yourself, exactly how much schooling do I need before it's actually something noteworthy? Of course, all the while, you're working your tail off for something you don't even want; something that you're only doing because it's what's expected, or because... it's just what people do. You have to think, was school was invented for mindless drones? for sheep? If you have a dynamic, imaginative, inquiring mind, school will probably be insufferable.
You know, if you want to really set yourself apart from the standard or the typical... if you can imagine far greater things than what the "normal" human being thinks of as significant... if you want to be fully alive in this truly dead world, first you must greatly suffer. I don't really want to tell you what you should do or what path you should take, because with your mind, I'm sure it's just a matter of time before you figure it out for yourself. And when I say, you need to suffer, it has little to do with being a martyr. It's just that you are going against a monumental wave of consciousness in order to be who you are truly meant to be. A daunting task to be sure. But a task that anyone who seeks true freedom must undertake. It's God's test... a fiery baptism if you will. To achieve Him, you must give it all up- all of the "standards", all of the "expecteds", all of "should do's" and "better do's". And traveling such a path will certainly bring great suffering. But the award is waiting; the award of being God's representative on earth. What could be greater?
Recently, I've imagined that sometime in the future, I'd like to start a school (of sorts) of my own. I can't imagine that it'd happen anytime soon, but I'm thinking... why was I so greatly and negatively effected by school? Maybe it was as a motivation for me to actually DO something about it, even if it's on a small scale.
I can see myself, in the distant future, creating something like an orphanage/school/ashram. In many ways, I've felt like an orphan myself in this life, so on a certain level, I can relate to them.
Hi!
Telos, you don't have any duties to pay to any society! Either, you don't need to enroll into anything. The two look for me a bit the same. The duties to yourself is what you need to pay, and those to God, and these two are also the same, aren't they?
You have actually answered your own questions in your last post. If you have been given such a good mind, why doubt it and not use it? Maybe you have tired yourself too much, but just take it easy for the next year and learn in a normal rhythm with the rest of your mates and allow yourself to spend more time for spiritual things, too. If something like other people's intuition could help you, I have a strong feeling that you should stay there and finish what you have started and that's all. Even without a brake to rest, your mind seem to be quite in a good shape, just without too much "Herculean" work. This will bring you much more freedom than the other choice, and much more time to spend for spirituality. Just a feeling...
Anyway, it does not sound even worse to start from the beginning another task? At least this one is partly finished. For me it sounds like a bit of fantasy to go to military in order not to become a robot. Your ideals are your ideals, and they may stand and remain within you, in any place you might go to, but military (as a real institution, not as an ideal concept) has very much to do with degrees and a strict hierarchy, which is not always the hierarchy of heaven... What do you think about it? Me, I'm working in a place where there are many people who have worked in military service, and I must tell that for the time being I'm looking for a solution to get out of there, because their permanent filthy talks and their material attention are quite a strong pressure for me. And I feel that staying to much with them might affect my own attention and definitely my decision is that I will not become like them! I remained there because I felt I should stay for a while, that both me and them have something to learn , but they are learning kind of too slowly :) :roll: . This is my example!
I'm not saying that military is wrong, just that it might not be good for you now!
Economics are not more contradictory to spirituality that any other field. If you think for instance at what music or other arts should be, that they should offer a path for spiritual healing, and what they have become... Is it then worth to become an artist nowadays? But still, there are people, who can bring a much subtle perception of creativity and enjoyment, because within themselves they have created this spiritual dimension or they have allowed it to be created, they can bare innocence and freedom inside and let them spread. Art can awaken the desire to enlightenment or can spoil mind and ideals. It is the individual choice to an artist to get more closer to one side or to the other. It's up to one's own innocence and desire. In economics it is the same. If you want your mind to serve others, you are able to get over limitations and fake ideas. You are still young, you don't need to understand the spiritual or philosophic meaning of economics in the next months :? :) , but you can realize this in a few years.
Money cannot spoil you, if you want to understand how to bring wellbeing to people.
Could this be also an influence of catholic thinking, that in order to serve others one should renounce things, one should have a different type of life? It may sound like a cliche, but it not so far from reality... In the Christian orthodox church (in Eastern Europe) priests can become monks or can marry, it is a matter of choice, and I wouldn't say that orthodox priests are worse then catholics, because of this. It's not only a church policy, it influences the life perspective. Or think at the sufi saints (the muslim mystics), they were not even living as priests, had their own businesses, were living ordinary lives, and still, many of them were enlightened persons. Maybe they still are, I don't know. (By no means I want to say that any religion or cult might be better than other, I just consider that they are parts of one truth, and each of them posses the capacity to show us freedom, but none of them really takes advantage of this capacity. I've been raised as a communist child, so I can tell that living with no spiritual belief will ensure a miserable life, but also I have very close catholic friends, and I know that their life was not easy, either. Anyway, the missionaries I mentioned in one of my previous posts were protestant :wink: .)
You just take advantage of what you have and don't let the rest influence you! You have enough resources within yourself, just try to understand them, those philosophies cannot save you from boredom and lack of freedom, but your self can.
Wow, now I feel like writing a lot of things, but it will become too long.
I hope you'll take the good decision!
Nostic, I was also dreaming about founding such a school, in which kids could have real food for the soul, not only talking and too much mechanical learning. And were students can also learn meditation...and how to know themselves and how to face reality and what reality actually is. Can this be tought?... It should be different..., I mean our generations have to find this solution, because there have always been spiritually oriented schools, and still the satisfaction is not entirely there. But diplomas are necessary, if one wants to make a change for himself or for others, he or she has to go though it. :? :wink:
Related to the issue of leading a life of service, I found today a message on another forum, which might throw some light on it:
http://lightworker.com/messageboards/viewtopic.php?t=4452
It is the third post, by Katy. The other comments are not so relevant...
Especially I liked that part (Uh, I don't know how to use this 'Quote' tool!):
"The 'service' that is being called forth from those whose desire is to assist the earth, comes from the place or the vibration that recognizes 'service' as being a 'vibration' rather than an action. So if you were told, if you knew that the greatest service you could 'perform' in this lifetime is one that is the presentation of a vibration (which it is) you would/might just get moving in the direction of holding that vibration wouldn't you? Your mind might argue but your heart would speak the truth to you. The irony is that when you 'reach' that vibration the world of service opens to you through things, and places, people and opportunities that thrill you. The vibration that we speak of is felt as 'joy'."
:)
Thank you all very much for your thoughts and wishes.
I've just registered as a part-time student back at my business college. No military, no vagrancy, no spiritual vows, no service, and no heroic starts from nothing. Just school, and the shackles that come with it. I'll be here for at least another year-and-a-half. Thanks again.
Telos,
Part-Time is a wonderful choice. I should have thought of that! Especially since it is what I do with work, and... the opposite of a marathon (done that too).
Someone on the board has something clever written in their signature, it says something like, "work smarter, not harder "...I believe in this.
Boredom? It doesn't happen when your in the right place at the right time, imo.
Oh, I'm so happy for you! :D
I'm sure you'll make a nice... no, carrier is not the word! It should be called in another way... :) ...?
And shackles...? :) Maybe that's what you'll do, turn economic shackles into freedom.
:D :D
Wish you all the luck you need!
Telos:
Vagrancy is not all that bad. I lived as a vagrant for 6 weeks when I was fifteen. Decided to leave home and start out on my own, lol. Okay, it was in the summer which helped.
I made a makeshift tent and I got myself a part-time job washing dishes at a local hotel which meant I could discretely help myself to food. I got picked up eventually by the police as my parents contacted them. Was still classed as a minor due to my age, so the police had a duty to find me I suppose.
It depends how much you like your own company and being in nature. I made friends with a stray dog who I would read to at night, and there was a squirrel that would sleep in my shoe. Compared to the living hell that was home it was bliss. I often go back to that same place by the river where I made my tent, and just sit for hours thinking back to the time. I stay at the same hotel in Grasmere where I had the part-time job, as it's all a conservation area it's very much the same as it was.
Yours,
Frank