I'M NEW---SO MANY QUESTIONS--CAN ANYONE RELATE TO THIS?

[ICURYY4ME]

I'd like to begin my post by saying that, after over a month of hardcore research, I still have a lot of questions and I've not had the courage to join ANY other site, much less post the information 'to the world' that I'm about to post.  However, my experience has been so intense, crazy-making, exciting, wonderful and a bit frightening all rolled into one that I am looking for answers.  I find bits and pieces out there on the web in various places that support my experience, and that is encouraging.  However, I'm left feeling as if there are valid pieces that fit into this puzzle from all sorts of different 'camps' out there but I know there are more pieces and I have no idea a) where to find them  b) if they even CAN be found in this lifetime and c) even if I did, how to fit them all together.  I am not sure why, of all the sites out there, I've chosen to put myself 'out there' here, but I have and by doing so, I am entrusting a LOT to this community.  I hope you will try to receive what I have to say without dismissing it out of hand and calling me a wacko.  Besides one very trusted friend, I've not shared my experiences with anyone else.  I hope I will find this community worthy of my  trust.  This is not an easy thing for me to do and not something I'm entering into lightly.

I also want to make it absolutely clear that I am 100% sincere in this post.  This is not a prank or a joke.  These are very real and (to me) very serious questions/experiences I am posting.  My mental health has never been questioned by friends, family or medical personnel.  In spite of the fantastic nature of my experiences, I remain fairly sure of my mental stability.

A little about me: I am a 36 year old mother of two, happily (for the most part) married and have a very good life.  I was raised in a Christian home and have very strong moral convictions, to the point of being what a lot of people would consider very narrow minded (ie, if not in the Bible then I don't believe it sort of thing)  Partly because of these religious convictions as well of because of what I'd have referred to before as 'common sense',  I am not the kind of person who believes in astrology, psychics, clairvoyance, telepathy, UFO's, astral projection/OBE's/soul mates, aliens, etc. etc. etc.  I hate science fiction movies/tv/books/just about everything.  I don't even like Star Wars, okay?

Then I had my experience.  Everything has changed.  Now I can't reject anything out of hand.  Before these experiences, I would NEVER have gone on a website like this to begin with and if I had I wouldn't have thought anything other than, 'you all are loony'.  I'm just being honest.  Now I can't say that.  Now I'm open to understand things, which I've never been before.  In other words, I'm coming to you for help.

I'm not going to go into any great detail here, for a lot of reasons, if not just in the interest of time and space taken up on this website.  Most of what I'm leaving out is of an extremely personal nature and wouldn't (most likely) give any pertinent information you might want anyway.  I'm going to give you the basics dynamics of my overall experience.  

They have all taken the form of dreams, but even after the 1st dream, I knew it was much, much more than just a dream, but I didn't know what...
The "Dream Experiences"  (we'll call them DE's from now on) have:

1)  always been between myself and a specific person of the opposite sex 2)  who I had very limited personal information on (Name/Trade/General Location only)
3)  but nevertheless, know he is an actual person.  
4)  There have been no other 'people' in the DE's--there have been  couple DE's where we were aware of 'people' around us in certain settings, but did not interact with them and could not tell you even if they had faces.  They seemed to be there only to provide continuity to the DE.
5)  In my DE's I am an ideal form of myself, clearly recognizable as myself.
6)  In the DE's I seem to have more than 5 senses--the 5 I already have are incredibly heightened and there seem to be 2, possibly 3, but for sure 2, more that fall along the lines of having a 'knowingness' and great understanding of things you've not been told'   and also (2)  a different type of communication through the other senses (sight, touch, etc).  
7)  In my DE's I am flesh and bone, and appear and function as I do here.  I cannot remember ever 'flying' or 'walking through walls' or anything along those lines.  I wish I did have those experiences because if I did have the flying, walking through walls experience I'd feel more 'normal', as I have not found too many people who describe their DE's like mine.  Mine are actually sort of .... boring, really, compared to accounts I've read from other people.
Some have been quite long (like maybe 2 hours or more in real life), others have been very brief.  I've actually had 'dreams' with no visuals at all.
9) The DE's seem to follow along a 'story line' in other words, there is a sense that 'time has moved forward' when I've not 'been' there, but when I'm able to 'connect' and return there, the events in the new DE's agree with previous knowledge of other DE's--they make sense, there is a context.
10) I have absolutely amazing recall of conversations, events, etc. that take place in my DE and can usually relate them on paper immediately afterwards--like being able to  tell someone in minutest details what happened 5 hours ago and I have recollection of the events VIVIDLY, through all 5 senses, even awake.
11). This person told me VERY SPECIFIC personal things about himself that I had no way of knowing in the first encounter and was able to verify with 100% certainty the next day (at which point the whole thing went from 'very cool dream' to 'I'm scared, what is going on?')
12)  The DEs are mutual experiences, because he's told me they were within the DE's themselves, also because he's shared details of the 'shared' DE that preceeded immediately before or after the parts that I was 'actively' involved in, yet can't remember but they fit into the DE sequentially and he's told me what happened. (example:  we are in a location that you cannot access without a key.  He's there with me and I'm wondering how he got in.  He says, you told me where to find the key, don't you remember?  And I did not have any recollection of that part)
13) There was physical (visible) evidence on my body of a certain event in one of the dreams- ones I could not have done to myself, especially not in my sleep.  He had corresponding visible evidence on his own person from that same encounter which he told me about  in a separate DE at a later date.
14) There are certain life events in his and mine that are nearly identicle- for instance, one example would be that we each have 2 kids,  Boys first and then the girls, but they were born in the same months and years--that sort of thing, which, maybe means nothing, but maybe is significant somehow.
15)  I seem to be almost completely unable to 'connect' with him by the force of my own will.  I go to bed with a desire to meet with him again, and a willingness to do so and it either happens or it doesn't.  He says we can concentrate/visualize and then relax about it and it will happen, but I've not been able to do so.  He must know something b/c it seems to work for him, but not for me.
16)  I should also mention he also (before this) put no faith in psychics, etc.  Didn't believe any of it was legitimate.  He was NOT raised in a religious home, unlike myself.  He just thought (thinks?) it's all hogwash.
17)  Though the DE 's themselves are pretty brief,  I  feel like we know all there is to know about each other, (through that 'extra sense' of communication')  like we've always known each other some how.
18)  He told me that he remembers crossing paths with me HERE (in this reality) on a certain date/time/event/ location at the event itself, which I can look back and clearly remember and even went on the internet to verify dates and such, but he chose not to approach me at the time.  This took place 20 years ago!  (Making me 16).  He then told me that off and on for 20 years he has had a very specific reoccurring  dream that I've been in.
19)  The kicker:  The first DE happened completely by accident (at least on my end).  He had  been here, in my hometown, where he says he saw me and I saw him  20 years ago(real life, remember)  when he just happened to think about the reoccurring dream involving me and (he thought) maybe because he knew he was physically (in real life—Feb 6th—which, interestingly enough, is also my birthday, but he was local here from 2/5-2/9 he says)  close to where I was then, he let his mind wander and wonder if I lived nearby  all these years later  (and I do), and well,  suffice to say, he let his mind reeeeally wander and soon after went to sleep.  Earlier that evening, I was out to dinner, for my birthday, with my sister and she brought up his name in casual conversation.  And there was a dispute between her and I as to whether I would engage in a potentially dangerous situation if I knew it was him I was putting myself at risk for.  I said I wouldn't.  She insisted I would.  In the end of this maybe 2 minute discussion, I must admit wondering to myself, 'hmmmm....would I?' but never said anything and we talked about hundreds of other things and forgot about it.  
As it turned out, the beginning of my 1st DE was me, trying to decide whether or not to do (the very same ) 'something potentially dangerous', seeing him and NOT knowing who he was but doing it anyway, then realizing who he was.   Interestingly enough, he shared that the 'dangerous situation' was something he used to do frequently, especially when he was much much younger and he  told me (in a much later dream) that in his 'youth' when he'd had fantasies of me, it would usually start out the same way and go from there.  THE POINT:  The day after the first dream, I rationalized that I dreamed that specific thing b/c of what my sister said to me and let it go at that, like it opened up my subconscious and that's why it happened.  But THEN  he told me at a later date that that night when he 'let his mind wander', he had (in his mind's eye as he's thinking of this before going to sleep) visualized the DE just in the way that it played out, except for the fact  that because the actual DE included me (and my free will) and I changed aspects of his 'idea' because of what I was willing to do or not do in the dream.

I know this is a lot.  There's more I'm sure I've forgotten—

Also,  there was one 'dream' where I never saw him, I smelled him and sensed him there with me and then I woke up and had a sense of almost being able to smell him but in reality unable to.

We have been able to 'agree' (within one of the earlier DE's) of a specific place to 'meet'.  Thus far, that is where we've 'connected'.   There have been a total of 7 DE's total, some lasted 20 seconds or less but where no less real or intense and the next day I was still able to close my eyes and experience whatever I wanted from the dream (while awake) almost whenever I wanted because I could remember sight, taste, touch, smell, feelings THAT vividly—which sounds cool but in reality is very difficult to cope with.  

The DE's started 2/7.  I've not had a full DE with full contact (visual and all other senses) since right about 3/24.  I have no idea what is going on, what it all means, if anything, or how any of it could be possible.  I've since read a bit on mutual dreaming, lucid dreaming, soul mates, quantum physics and now, astral projection.  I did find one very interesting abstract written by a physicist regarding the role of consciousness in quantum physics and 80% of it makes sense to me in relation to and supports much of  my experience. for any interested,here is the URL: http://critical-path.itgo.com/Articlesanscover.html

 So far, it's the thing that makes the most sense to me and fits with my experience.

My reason for posting here is THIS and ONLY THIS:  I am looking for people who have had a similar experience to mine.  I feel like I am, for all intents and purposes, basically having a very intense, very real (on some other level/universe/whatever) relationship with a living, breathing person who lives here, on this planet, but whom I can in no way interact with in THIS reality for a hundred different reasons, all very valid, nor do I feel compelled to do so.  What is 'over there' with this person is so much more than 'here' could EVER be, the problem is it's not often enough for me!  The very, very SCARY thing is that I'm falling for this person who I can never be with in this world,  AND I KNOW THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE but, I would NEVER be with in this world, for a lot of reasons.  You just have to take that statement at face value—I would NOT (choose to)  be with him here, even if I could/had freedom to do so.

So if you can relate to what I've shared because you have had an experience similar, I'd love to hear from you.  You can email me privately if you do not wish for the world to read it.  PLEASE, unless you have sincere, genuine information that you believe in your heart and share because you are really trying to help, please don't reply to this.  I've already had a difficult time accepting a lot of it as 'real' for myself, I certainly don't need to be bombarded with ugliness from perfect strangers.  Also, if you are kind enough to respond, understand that, while I will answer as many questions as I possibly can, there may be things I am not willing to discuss because they are so personal (and embarrassing).  But most I'll answer.  

Please know up front that I feel like (and probably come off like) a total crack pot, but I'm desperate to understand this, how it works, etc.  To have reasons, facts, anything.  I want to be able to connect with him and I don't know how.  It was terrifying to post this, but my desire to understand at this point is stronger than my fear.   Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[kiwibonga]

Hi

Well, I have to say this is an interesting story.

First, your experiences are not so "odd" -- not flying and not going through walls does not make the experience any less valid. I've read many accounts of people (and that includes myself) being held down by gravity and such. If you want to fly, all you need to do is become aware of your "superpowers" -- will it, and you will be able fly, see through walls, create places, etc... If you are not aware of these powers, you will automatically simulate "the real world" you have been living in for all these years. It is pretty much just a matter of awareness.

Now you've met this "soulmate" (which I think is what he is) in your dreams. Falling for him is perfectly normal ; I've talked to a lot of people who fell in love with classmates or coworkers whom they previously never "saw that way" until they dreamt that they were romantically involved. There's just something about dream figures that seems to be irresistible...

I understand your concern, since obviously "running off with the guy from your dreams" just isn't an option when you are married with kids... This is something I cannot give much advice about, unfortunately... Just remember you don't have to experience this if you don't want to, you are in full control of the dreamscape.

So, anyway, you want to know what your experiences are "technically."

Your experiences are "lucid dreams" ; they are a type of out of body experience where your reality is for the most part created by you, and where you have lucidity comparable to waking reality. When you go to sleep, your body creates an "energetic copy" of you in the non-physical. Because this defies the "laws" of time and space, it can be rather hard to put it into words, but let's just say you are copied to a parallel world which may or may not look like physical reality, and may or may not be a figment of your imagination, and may or may not exist to other people.

It's unusual to meet people from real life and have both people remember the experiences. Your "soulmate" seems to remember most of his experiences, but you remember less of them.

You should not feel that you are crazy ; I know that it can be quite shocking to have your beliefs turned around overnight. I want to reassure you, however, that none of your beliefs have been "invalidated." A lot of people feel that believing in these paranormal things is in direct conflict with their religion, but that is very far from the truth. There's just some things we're "not supposed to know about until we die," but if the powers that be really didn't want us to know about them, we wouldn't have these experiences.

I'm not sure if I answered everything... If I missed anything or if you have more questions, do let me know..

[Kodemaster]

Welcome to the forum!

While I don't know a lot about your type of experience, I do know that it does happen to other people.

I've connected with people in dreams and in the astral before...but nothing to anywhere near the degree that you did.

If I can dig up some information, I'll post it!

Best,

[ICURYY4ME]

Thank you to you both, I really appreciate your replies.  I'm sure you can understand my apprehension and I'm happy to say I actually feel much better.  I do not have anyone in my life who I can share my experiences with.  My loved ones would think I'd lost it.  I have one (thankfully she is my best) friend who I can talk about these things with.  She and I have always been polar opposites in our beliefs (she has always believed in this stuff, while I've tried my best not to judge even though I thought it was 'out there').  Maybe this is why she was brought into my life??    She is actually the one who encouraged me to contact this board, (because she felt it best if I could share with people who may be able to understand from personal experience)  and a specific person on this board after I read several posts to her over the phone.  So....here I am.  You can blame her!  

The problem is, she does not dream.  Rather, she has chosen to shut down her awareness and not fully experience her dreams.  (She used to have the flying variety 'hitting the ceiling' type of dreams as a child).  I should mention that, when I first started reading a little bit on 'Mutual Shared Dreaming', I asked her if she would be willing to try to be open to having a mutual dream experience with me.  She said she would but felt she maybe was not the best candidate.  So I told her I was visualizing something  very simple but very clearly and that I wanted her to call me in the morning to tell me if she dreamt anything.  I never told her what the intended dream was.  It was very simple:  He and I (my dream guy I've been mutually APing with) walked up to her front door and she opened it.  End of dream.  I was able to have this very brief, but very clear dream that same night.  She wasn't, or she did not remember clearly that he and I came to her front door.  But when I spoke to her the next morning she said she never had a visual dream per se, but that she knew "there were 3"  and she was like, "3 what?"  She was clear in her mind that there was 3 of something specific.  Well, there were.... the 3 of us.  I wanted her to 'meet' him, if at all possible, which he was willing to do, thereby being able to further validate my experience and possibly bring other people into our experience (if we chose to, which thus far, we have not chosen to)

Anyway, I have lots of reading to do, as I just found this site yesterday!

Thanks again!

[ICURYY4ME]

Is that book a novel or is it supposed to be explanatory/technical?  If the latter, what is your personal opinion of the author?  Credible?  Not credible?  One of the reasons I hesitated to post (and finally did because I eventually felt compelled to ) is because I'm looking for people like myself who can share actual experiences and I didn't want to have to weed through a lot of 'crap' that was probably not even sincere or actual experience.  

This is NOT something I would have chosen for myself on my own and I've been shocked to find myself even open to considering the possibilities I'm no longer able to dismiss as 'loony'.  My entire 36 years of belief systems have been upended and turned on their ear.  

So if you feel the author is CREDIBLE I'd like to know.  I'm not interested in someone's 'flight of fancy'.   From what I've been able to absorb during the past couple weeks, my GUESS and I stress that it's a guess because at this point I'm matching my 'gut' to different things I read here and there that strongly resonate with me, is that my experience seems to be somehow a mixture of the whole Mutual/Shared/Lucid Dreaming experience with AP (?) don't know as I am just learning about APs now, and that my Dream Experiences seem to take place 'someplace else' (alternate universe???  quantum physics stuff).  My initial reaction when I shared my first dream with a friend was to say, "this was not just a dream, it felt like an out of body experience".   Of course I didn't really understand anything technical about OBE (again, loony stuff in my book) but the phrase fit the overall feeling, although in all my dreams I've never had a sense of being 2 places at once.  I am 100% were my full attention is, wherever that may be.

I did find a very good position paper written by an Astro-physicist type guy who is with Boeing on the Role of Conciousness as it relates to Quantum Physics and Parallel Universes.  If anyone is interested in reading it, I will try to find the URL again and post it.  It's the most seemingly  valid information I've found thus far that seems to make a lot of sense as related to a lot of my experience, if his assertions are true.  I found it very reassuring and learned a lot/understood a lot more.

Anyway, thanks.  

PS  Love your user ID name

[ICURYY4ME]

DUH.  I already posted the URL in my original post.  However, would be interested in hearing opinions about the article.

thanks

[ICURYY4ME]

Thanks for that...I will check it out.

I am somewhat able to accept that there are things that happen in life that nobody will EVER be able to explain, much less prove and that's just the way it is.  For instance, I have always believed in God and I know there is a God, but ask me to show you scientific proof and.....  But just because I can't explain God doesn't mean I no longer believe in God.  So there's times I just have to apply that mindset to what I'm experiencing now and try not to stress out about it too much.

[Nick]

Welcome -