this clock never seemed so alive

[noetic_dreamer]

hola,

my name is emily, i'm 27 and i'm stuck in chico. i just went through the hardest period of my life next to the death of my friend chuck.

in march, i ran an "experiment" deciding to get off my psych pills for bipolar disorder and started leaving little notes "recreate 2001" (the year chuck was murdered.

by may, i knew without a doubt chuck was with me. i was never able to be in my last house with the lights off. suddenly i was turning them off every night to "watch the magic."

weird, weird things started happening. i had so much deja vu. i even found footprints in the "open field" where i had been standing in 2001. exact same shoe brand, exact same size.

by june, the experiences started to get more intense. i was with this man who claimed to be all this and that and i knew it wasn't always him, most of the time it was chuck, but i didn't figure out until later that this guy probably could've killed me.

but this guy had very intriguing things to say:

he couldn't control his obe's, "they" would pull him out.

among other things he would say.

by july i was homeless and back on meds.

now in august, i've lost pretty much everything and my family hates me because they are mormons and i doubt they would understand anything i went through and it's hard for me to even explain in all. but i did manage to get into a house.

strangers can see something about me that i'm not even aware of.

what the hell am i? why do i still feel absolutely insane, just getting better at hiding it, meds or no meds.

and the dream i had that to this day still gets to me:

we're all flying around by edgewater and suddenly i lay still and shoot into the sky followed by a huge blinding white light and then i wake up...

where did i go?

i can't figure myself out.

anyway, i enjoyed reading some posts here. i would like to try the "C" on the right index finger, for obvious reasons.

when i was 14 i read a book about obe's and i asked my dad about it. he said "don't do it, you'll get stuck" i remember like it was yesterday. 13 years later, i'm still trying to figure out what he meant by that.

"i have to find the truth, it keeps me awake at night" ~ emily

[Wizard of Light]

Wow!  

Sounds like you have lead one interesting life!  Welcome, and hope that you find lots of good stuff to continue the exploration.  

[Hannah b]

hi!
Glad to have u with us...hope u enjoy it here and find the answers that you are looking for.

ay still and shoot into the sky followed by a huge blinding white light

...to me it seems like u were somewhere close to home...you are the light ..don't forget that..
here's something for a good beginning:
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=19262&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=tangled+darkness&&start=0

all the best

[Kodemaster]

Welcome, Emily!

Jen