Heart of 11

[Aileron]

"Sometimes dissapointment is expectations best friends."

I suppose I didnt expect help, just hoped for it.
Answers shouldnt come from a computer, even if the words translated onto the page are typed thoughts from people from all over the world...it is still a machine that translates what we think (and often in a very distilled and cold manner)and will never give us what we want, just perhaps maybe it points us in the right direction like any other device on this planet held in a persons palm.

Like the metal sun of delphic ruin,
we are the reign of our own sum bitten by the menace
of our folly.
We are the fault lit by skies forgotten,
and dipped in the crumbling stone of palad remark.
Love by the light,
hate by the dark.

Remember, the day enlightens us to what surrounds,
but it is the night that is truly hidden from us by
the daylight.
[?]

[Aileron]

Well I visited Chichen Itza. I must say it was a beautiful ruin. I climbed the steps to the temples altar twice. If anyone ever visits, remember, they are just steps, not cliff faces, dont be afraid of them. I slowly took my time and went over every inch of the area on my own(I felt a guide would not only diminish my own experience as well as deplete me of funds), from the steps of the temple, all the way around the thousand warrior pillars into the sweat baths into the courtyard and past the altar where the severed heads of enemies and traitors were kept on spikes. I walked inside of the temple up to the excavated jaguar statue. The inside was like a sauna. All the rocks were sweating, and nearly half of each group that went in, would not go up the steps for fear of running out of gas and/or falling back down.

I have to say that I was impressed with both the original structure the first society of maya had put up, but was astonished by the structures the later mayans had erected over the older original ruins. The culture was very comparable to the egyptians in many aspects and I walked with my eyes closed often to feel and see the way they acted, played and worked in the area. It was difficult to with the tourists. Although I being one of them, the place is ruined in ruins by the consumerism pushed throughout the area. It feels tainted...yet there is nothing else that could have been expected, thus is the social construct of our own culture, and yet it does ring familiar even to the old civilizations such as the maya and the egyptians as they were brilliant in many aspects of life including trade and commerce.
It was sad, it felt hollow to me, and I think that if I had silence surrounding me as I walked through the area, the affect would have been much greater.

To get to Chichen Itza I had piled my things in my pack and rode my bike from cancun, but only made it 75 miles before I was near collapse due to poor supplies and planning(not too mention my physiology does not agree with the humid environment in the yucatan), and flagged down a bus to ride the rest of the way.

This all being said, I would like to bring up another subject that has been etching into my brain moreso lately than any other time.
the little 11:11 anomoly that occurs often to people. I know this is nothing new, yet I feel my experience with it deals with the subject spoken of above and I need to know others opinion on it.
11:11 occured to me in all the same ways as others, ya know, seeing the clock as it struck the time or seeing it in dates or certain features of the environment once in awhile. The numbers always affected me because it is a mass anomoly, being other people see this as well. Of course I didnt hold to the belief that it was totally a  pyschological phenomenon, it was more to me for some reason, and it wasnt until in the recent months that the reason came to sight.

I met a woman. She is beautiful, intelligent, and strangely almost the exact same in every aspect of personality as I am (Which is a rare personality, very volatile and artistic, etc.) At first this meant nothing to me, she clinged to the same phacets of love that I do, needing the comfort of touch from everyone around us, and this led to her relationships with many of my friends. This being the reason I stayed away from her, so as not to hurt my friends and make the situation any more complicated.

Yet as we got to know each other, we found the exact same notations of ourselves within each other. I mean to a creepy extent at times. Then came the day I was moving out of my house and I showed her my mayan information correlating to my own birthday. She freaked out. What she showed me was a little odd to me as well and what told me instantly we were fated to be with each other. Her mayan number was 11. Mine, also 11. 11:11. My daysign is Ik, wind, hers I cannot recall the name, yet it mean night.

From then on we would find the little details being an overwhelming purge of information from the extroverted world. This is when I decided we needed to be away from each other. It was too early for us to be with each other. SO I left for mexico.
My main plan was to live down there for some months, but alas, it did not work out the way I had wanted.

I got a plan ticket into arizona trying to avoid utah where she was, because we werent ready yet, or so I thought. Yet coming back, I was on flight 1111. The drinks I was drinking from had numbers correlating to 11 11, we arrived and I looked out as we passed a gate 11 that was showing the arrowed double side so that it showed to me 11 11. I went to my other gate to connect to my last flight passing by another flight 1111. I fell asleep on the plane and awoke at 1111.
Its been like this and has not ceased yet. I freaked out and screamed that I understood, that I got the point, but it just got me shakey and flustered.

Want I would like input on, is that if these are signs pointing me back to her or something else...it feels like her. She has yet to know that I am back.
Her plans after I left were to go to Europe and I would hunt her down there and we would be together then, but sometimes it feels like the future has something different planned for me...I cant always read it. Please, this is pain Ive never felt. She is my other half and it is so hard being away from her. I dont know what to do. My heart says one thing, my logic and reason say another.