New NDE accounts

[BlackTalon]

Theres a bunch of new accounts over and http://nderf.org...theres about 13 or so new ones but this one in perticular is interesting. Thought i'd post it here to see what you guys had to say about it. Not very often I read negative NDE's...well partially I suppose.


Experience description:

Well before I start writing anything, I feel that I have to give you a little bit about me.  In Nov. of 2003 that was about three months before hand i lost my mother and a friend (who is a girl) who i want to take out on a date. My mom passed away because of injuries she had in a car accident and my friend in a plane accident that we were both on.  In the plane accident i had broken my left ankle and was placed on leave from the Army.  It was only about three days later that i was told that my mom had passed.  I wanted to share that as both of them are in my experience.

    I was home a few months when i was told that i had stomach cancer.  I was under going the treatment for it and dealing with everything that the treatment was doing to me.  I was told that one of the meds could cause a heart attack but the chance of it was a million to one.

    A few weeks after i started i started having small chest pains and i went to lay down for a while.  My brother who at the time was an army medic was at home went to take a look at me after about an hour.  When he did i told him that i was feeling something heavy on my chest and i had heartburn really bad.  He took my blood pressure and told me to relax and take it easy.  He then told me that i was having a heart attack.  He had my step-mom call 911 and started treatment on me.  He and our step-mom worked on me till the fire department arrived.

    When i was in the E.R. i felt my body go numb and my chest was heavy.  I started seeing the room go black and i had a hard time hearing everyone around me but i remember hearing my doctor say "No we can't lose him, lets keep going, I don't want to lose him, he is just a kid, give me another round of epi and charge it to 360 and keep bagging him,"  Then everything thing went black and deadly quite.

    Then I was what i thought was the waiting room and my doctor taking to my dad.  Then my brother (who was in the E.R. with me working on my) walking in a daze saying "what did I do wrong, all the medical training i have and i could not save my brother, what the hell did i do wrong,".  I tried to tell him that i was ok but he could not hear me.  Then i remembered what my sister said happen to her when she had her NDE just a few weeks before.  I thought oh my God I am dead, this is what it is like,  but where is my mom and grandfather? where is the music that she said she heard?  Where is the light so bright that she talked about?  Then everything went black and i could not see anything and all my thought were played back to me.

    Then wherever i was started to fill with fog.  I then felt myself move along a hallway of darkness.  Then i heard someone calling my name and telling me to come along.  I was ok and this where i was to call home.  They were there to guide me home.  I could feel something was not right and i wanted to go back the way i came but i was told that i could not go back my time on earth was done. I was to keep moving and i would see my mom soon.  The voices keep telling me to move along with them and to keep up.  Everything i looked back i felt something bad was going to happen to me and that i need to go back the way i came.  Every time i look back the voices told me to keep up and keep moving.

    I told myself that enough was enough and i said that i did not want to go any further then where i was, till they told me where i was and where we were going.  The voices said that we had reached our point.  That i was where i need to be now.  I then could smell what i thought was sulfur and death.  Then the voices started to laugh and say that this is what my life caused me to have. I asked where i was and what was going to happen next.  The voices just laughed some more and repeated what i said.  I thought to myself that i had to be in hell, because this was not as my sister said happened her.  This is not how she said heaven was like.  Then i could hear my thoughts out loud.  The voices then said that there was not heaven for me.  That this was the heaven that was to be mine.  Then one of the said that it was feeding time.

    Then i felt like i was pushed back into a wall and my arms pinned back to the wall.  I felt totally helpless and then i saw what looked like hair ball with shark teeth come at me.  I looked to my right side and saw that the voices were little monsters that were turning into the hairballs and back into monsters.  They were the ugliest looking things i have seen and yet to see.  They looked like snakes crossed with bats crossed with something that had horns.  They had bodies that was like that of a snake and it had wings.  They arms and hands look like those of a bat.  Their faces look like snakes and they had fangs like a bat and a snake.  On the top of their heads they had horns, but not like the horns of a bull or a ram.  They had pointed horns but nothing that i could say was earthly.

    As they turned into hairballs i asked what was happening to me.  They laughed and told me to shut up and i could hear my feeling out loud.  Then they started coming at me and as they did, i felt sick to my stomach.  I remember feeling why is this happening? Where is my mom and where is God?  Then i felt them feeding on me.  I looked down at my what i thought was my body and parts where gone.  I then looked at them and my body parts where in their mouths.  Then one of them said "We told you already that this is your heaven and we are your God."

    I don't know why i did this, but i started saying the 23rd psalm out loud and they stopped feeding for a few seconds.  One of they said that was not going to help me now.  I kept on saying The lord is my shepherd, i should not want, he make me lay down in green pastures, for his name sake.  It was then they curled into a pile and yelled, "There is nobody to save you!"  I kept on saying the 23rd psalm.  "Yea, i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for thou are with me, thy staff and thy rod. they comfort me."  I then felt my arms go free and i was standing and they were crowding in this pile saying there was no one to help me now.

    I felt that i had to say the psalm all the way to find my way out of this place - that i now felt was hell.  So with everything i had in me i tried to recall every word that i could say.  "He leadeth me beside the still waters and he restored my soul. You set a table before in the face of my enemies, You pour oil over my head and over flow my soul, Your love and kind have always been with me."  At that point i started feeling a wonderful feeling that come over my and i had to close my eyes.

    Then i heard a voice say, "Joe it's me, open your eyes.  It really going to be ok.  I knew the voice as being my friend that i had wanted to ask out back in Nov. 2003 just before she was killed in a plane crash that we were both in.  Then she said "Sandy, He is too scared to open his eyes right now, maybe you can get him to open his eyes,"  Then i knew that i heard my mom because she said "Joe, my sweet thanksgiving baby, (my mom would always call me her sweet thanksgiving baby because i was born in November) your ok now, the worst part is over now, open your eyes baby, it's ok to be scared but you need to open your eyes now, my little sweet pea, please for me baby."

    When i did open my eyes i saw her standing before me hugging me and she told me to look down.  When i did, I saw my body was one again. The parts that were bitten off where back on my body.  She told me that i was ok now and that i had a choice before to make but first she wanted to show me a few things.

    She took my hand and we were off.  The first thing she showed me was a castle.  It looked very old and very beautiful.  I could see knights on horseback riding off into battle.  I could also see that the castle was on a very green hillside.  I could also see shepherding with their flock eating off the hillside.  I then asked my mom if i could feel the grass because i had not seen such a hillside before.  She took me down so i could, and as we got close i could smell the grass.  It smelled like watermelon, it was so sweet smelling that it was overpowering and i wanted to eat a piece because i thought it was watermelon.  My mom told me that i could not, it was for the sheep to eat.

    The next thing that she showed me was an ocean.  It was not one that was on earth.  The water was a dark navy blue.  I would almost say it was a cobalt blue.  My mom said it was ok for me to take a drink of water.  When I did it was so good.  It was like having a raspberry/bubble gum/tuttie fruity snow cone.  It was like nothing i ever had and yet to have again or at least found yet.  She told me that this ocean is where they all come to drink and to unwind a bit.

    She then said that she had one last thing to show me.  It was not a very happy thing to show me but she had to.  I told it was fine.  If she had to show it then it was ok.  I was not going to stop her from showing me.  It was part of what she had to.  She took me to our house and inside the rooms and i was to see my family.  I was to see what they were feeling with me in their lives. I could feeling a great loss in every room.  Their hearts were heavy with sadness and wondering what could have been for me and my life.  I asked my mom if this is what Mandy went through when she had her NDE.  Mom said no, that her's was not the same as mine.  Everyone is different, therefore everyone has a different experience.  Mandy has not done the same things that i had done and she has not yet done what had been asked of her.  She still has things that she has to do before she is shown any of what i was seeing.  I then asked my mom if the reason she was showing me this was to help me make up my mind if i was going to stay with her or go back to my dad and my family on earth.  She said "yes."  She wanted me to make up my mind between the places that i could be.

Then she said that i had to stand before someone and it was time to go before him now.  She told me not to be scared of what was going to happen next.  Then we were off to where she called the point of choice.

    When we got there, there was a huge scene to my right side.  Then there was a bright light that came up.  As the light grow closer i saw a golden center in it.  When it stopped the center was right in front of me and said nothing.  Then i was told to look at the scene to my right.  As i turned my mom said it was ok, just let my feeling be known.  I could see photos of my life on earth.  My old schools and all my friends, all my pets, all the pranks that i played on my teachers.  Then the last photos i saw were of my family.  All the times i hurt my sister and all the games my brothers and i played.  When it was over i was asked if i had learned anything of what the other person felt.  I said yes and that i was very sorry of all the hurt that i caused them to feel.

    The light said that i had a choice to make.  I was free to stay or that i could go back.  The crossing point was right in front of me.  All i had to do was walk across two feet but if i did there was no going back. I was there to stay if i cross those two feet.

    I said that i wanted to stay but i could not take knowing what my family was going to be feeling if i stayed.  I wanted them to be happy that was ok but i know that they were going to miss me too much for me to be happy if i stayed.  I was told that it was ok for me to go back it was my choice to go back.              

    Then the golden light said to my mom to take me back.  She said ok that she would.  She then said ok baby just lay down and keep your mind on me.  Its ok to be scared but just remember you are going to be ok.  Remember that i love you and your brothers and sister and your dad.  I will be here for all of you including your new step-mom. Then she said to close my eyes and when i open then again i would be back with my dad in my body.  She also said that i would feel pain but it would be ok.  I would be home in about a week and i would make a full recovery of my stomach cancer in a few months.

    With my eyes closed i felt myself float back into my body.  As i did i could see words and answers pass through me.  Almost as i was gaining all the answer to everything i could ever want to know.

    When i opened my eyes some six hours later, my family was at my side happy to know that i was back.  I could not find the words to tell them of what i had gone thru.  Well at least the part that i feel was hell.  I had a hard time telling or at least getting them to understand that i was in hell for a while.  My mom was wrong about me being in pain.  I was not feeling any pain and i was able to go home about a week after.  I did make a full recovery of my stomach cancer in about three months.