On empathy and painful aural viewing...

[Nomad]

Ok, first things first: I have basically not the slightest idea of the subjects discussed in these forums, except perhaps on the most basic of levels. So, I'd appreciate it if you could bear with me and my clumsy stumblings in trying to describe my "problems"... (and sorry for the overly elaborate and extensive post).

Lets start with the empathy, as I reckon it's a lot easier to explain. Since for as long as I can remember, I've had what I assume is some kind of empathy. I am not able to tell what one specific person is feeling, unless that is the only person around (obviously). I haven't actually tested it in any way either. Anyhow, in my case what seems to happen is that I pick up other people's feelings and make them my own. To the point where, if someone is sad, angry, happy, thoughtful, insecure or anything else I very quickly tend to sink into the same emotional state as them.

Now, if those emotions aren't very strong, my own emotional state tends to remain on top. However, if the others emotional state is very strong, or I find myself among a crowd or such, my own emotions tend to get washed away in the "flood". Not only that, but I've also noticed that to some extent I tend to project my emotions onto others (or at least so it seems to me).

One of the main repercussions this has wrought on me is that I tend to, when alone, be quite (although not completely) unemotional. I don't know if it's the way my body/mind tries to compensate for all the emotional overload at other times or what it is. Additionally, when I'm around other people (or know I'm going to be among them) my emotions tend to come up strongly. Perhaps as some kind of auto-defense mechanism once again? As I said, I really don't know.

To make a long story short, this has brought up all kinds of problems and doubts over the years. Things such as emotional "feedback loops" (or so I have come to call them), a tendency to withdraw from people for LONG periods of time (one of my most peaceful and happy moments in life was 2 months in the middle of he Australian desert totally alone), emotional dependency, etc, etc, etc. Also, I've come to doubt if certain emotions I feel are actually mine or not at times (or if other people's emotions are theirs). For example, say I "fall" in love with someone, and this person tells me at some point they felt the same thing since that same time. Now this, combined with my more-or-less "unemotional" state when I'm alone has brought up serious doubts more than once on whether those feelings are truly mine or theirs. Anyhow... so much for making a long story short...


On to the second point: Painful aural viewing. This is (at least for me) at lot harder to explain. Perhaps I should start by saying that my "normal" eyesight is extremely sensitive. I'm not albino or anything like that and I don't even have a perfect eyesight, but walking in the sunlight without dark sunglasses on gives me serious headaches, eye-pains and such. I hadn't thought that this might in some way be related until just a few hours ago when I read the article on aural viewing on astral dynamics, where something is mentioned about how normal eyesight is strongly related to aura viewing.

Back to the point. Just like with the empathy, I've had the "problem" for as long as I can remember. I have this extreme ease to concentrate on something (or nothing)... to the point where basically everything else around me is totally blocked out (yes, I can enter into a meditative state without even realizing it). And that tends to happen without me even trying in the least.

Sometimes, when I focus (as in what one does to try and see auras) on an object (although it is a lot stronger and obvious on anything electrical (cables, appliances, etc.) and to a somewhat different degree, living things) aside from seeing what I've heard of as being called auras (or what they should more or less look like), my vision is often overwhelmed by flashes, streaks, swirls and waves (for lack of a better description) of colour, mostly only partially related (or so it seems) to whatever it is I'm focusing on.

So, lets say for example that I focus on a particular part of my monitor, to try and see the aura of a certain objects' colour. Within something like 2 to 60 seconds (if it does actually occur), without (hardly) any kind of telltale signs or warnings I'll have my entire field of vision flooded with colours, which mostly seem more or less attached to any objects or living things, but as if flowing through (and around) all these there's what I could only describe as some kind of much larger aura perhaps. Now, when this happens I have to very quickly close my eyes and "break out" of whatever it might be as I get quite severe headaches and my eyes hurt if I even as much as try to keep looking at this for more than perhaps a second or two.


Well, I hope I managed to explain my little "problems" more or less clearly. Whatever the case might be, I would greatly appreciate any kind of (useful/constructive) feedback on what I've mentioned, either in terms of explaining, clarifying or just talking about them or to in some way "help" with them in some way or another.

Thank you.
   J.

[daem0n]

i cannot say anything about painful auras (although i do see them)
for emotional overflood, i would suggest combining:
NEW energy ways in tutorials on www.astralpulse.com (you know them already)
www.psipog.net they have info how to shield and how to make shields that will block emotions of others (you can't have the cake and eat it, well, you can, but not in this case)

new to make stronger shields, obviously
read psipog, then ask qestions

[XenXheng]

I understand about the empathy.  I can tell when others are sad or happy, which may be psychic or just by looking at their posture and stuff, or both.  But I can pick up on people's feelings, even specific ones like, "You've been here a while, I really think you should go home now" or "What you said an hour ago really made me mad."

I don't know how it speaks to you or me as a person to pick up on others' feelings so well, but I do know what you can do to help relieve the trouble you have with it.

First of all, your decision to eradicate or suppress these empathetic feelings is yours to make, though I don't know how to get rid of them.  However, I don't want to get rid of them and I advise you not to, either.  It's a great gift to understand other people and their feelings, and to learn more about them and how to help them by knowing how they feel.

For me, I was able to cope with this by taking control of my own actions and feelings, or presenting them to others in a straightforward manner.

For example:

My friend's girlfriend is coming and he wants me out.  I feel this, though he doesn't say it.  It feels to me like I am "unwanted" and even "worthless" because of the feelings I am getting, though neither is the case.  It's just opportune not to stay, and better to leave.

My response: Bid him good night and go home (Take control of my actions).  Both feelings disappeared, and my friend and I were happy.

My little sister was very angry and sad over something I said to her as a joke, because she thought I was serious.  I felt "ashamed" for what I did and "sad" as a result of her feelings, which caused me to feel like a real jerk.

My response: Apologize to my sister for my joke, help her understand I would never hurt her, and help counsel her on what self-esteem issues may prompt her to even believe for a second that I was being truthful (Take responsibility, understand her feelings and work to re-arrange them).  After this, we both felt better.

See the pattern?  When you feel unhappy with an unhappy person around, you're being told in no uncertain terms that this person wants your help, and your feelings are telling you what the case is.  By reacting to these feelings in a constructive manner, rather than letting them wash over you and sit there, your empathy serves a very real, very beneficial purpose.  Listen to those feelings... then act!

As for crowd situations?  I'm still working on that one.  I've been clubbing once or twice and hated it every time.  There are dozens of sweaty bodies grinding on each other, and I just can't find the interest necessary to join in.  In those cases, when empathetic feelings tell me I don't like the crowd, I just take off.  You don't need to be at an anti-Mac meeting if you're pro-PC, unless you want to understand their views or something.

And you don't need to feel ashamed for wanting to take off to the desert like you did.  I love people.  But sometimes, I just gotta get away from everybody and play video games for two weeks straight.  That's just me!  And after that time is up, I'm back out and talking to people like nothing happened.  We all need alone time.  It's just some people need it a lot more than others, while other people can constantly be "On" and around other people.  Go with what you know!

Finally, about you feeling "unemotional."  Could it be that you're just "calm" and "content?"  People get sad when they don't have something they want, mad when they're treated badly, etc...

Maybe you've just arrived at a place in life where everything is pretty much what you wanted?  If there's something you want more out of life, and you focus on it, feelings will creep back into your life.  Just make sure they aren't "sad" for what you don't have, and instead "determined" to go get it!

Hope I helped,
Chris

[Nomad]

For me, I was able to cope with this by taking control of my own actions and feelings, or presenting them to others in a straightforward manner.

For example:

My friend's girlfriend is coming and he wants me out.  I feel this, though he doesn't say it.  It feels to me like I am "unwanted" and even "worthless" because of the feelings I am getting, though neither is the case.  It's just opportune not to stay, and better to leave.

My response: Bid him good night and go home (Take control of my actions).  Both feelings disappeared, and my friend and I were happy.

My little sister was very angry and sad over something I said to her as a joke, because she thought I was serious.  I felt "ashamed" for what I did and "sad" as a result of her feelings, which caused me to feel like a real jerk.

My response: Apologize to my sister for my joke, help her understand I would never hurt her, and help counsel her on what self-esteem issues may prompt her to even believe for a second that I was being truthful (Take responsibility, understand her feelings and work to re-arrange them).  After this, we both felt better.

From what I've picked up here, I think we "suffer" different kind of empathy somehow... by the looks of it, what you feel is a reaction to the feelings you pick up from others... someone doesn't want you around, you feel uncomfortable and unwanted... in my case, someone is angry, I quite literally feel that anger... as if it were my own. Same thing if someone is really depressed or happy.

To give you an example (don't know if it's any good though), some years ago I remember talking to my father about some political issue or other. At some point he misinterpretted something I said and took it as a personal insult. His anger flared and so did mine, immediately. I didn't understand WHY he was angry, and even worse, why I was angry. This, combined with my tendency to "broadcast" strong emotional states caused what I can only call some kind of weird "feedback" loop... in the end I had to leave just to avoid us getting so angry we'd end up hitting each other (something unheard of in our family, outside "brotherly love"-situations). After calming down, I decided to write down what we'd been talking about and my views on the subject. I printed it out and gave it to him, and turns out we agreed on practically everything. It wasn't until then that I found out why he'd gotten angry in the first place.

In the cases whee I can feel it "coming" (ie. the person gradually gets closer in some way, or those feelings slowly build up), I can usually more or less keep under control (with respect to myself that is). So, say I go to a friends house, whom I know is rather down for whatever reason, on my way over there I'll "make" myself happy and cheerful. Then, by the time I get there I'll have a kind of "buffer" or balancing force to that depression (obviously, I mostly tend to do this when the other person has "negative" emotions, not positive ones, at least consciously). Incidentally, as it will make their mood somewhat better, they feel more at ease, willing to talk about their issues, etc.

Finally, about you feeling "unemotional."  Could it be that you're just "calm" and "content?"  People get sad when they don't have something they want, mad when they're treated badly, etc...

Maybe you've just arrived at a place in life where everything is pretty much what you wanted?

Interesting point... although it is true to a great extent (ie. I am calm and content, very much enjoy my life, etc. etc. etc.), it is not so much the type of feelings but rather the strength of these that is somewhat  "strange". If I'm alone, even if I do feel angry it is never more than a light annoyance, if I'm happy it's just a contented, calm kind of happiness, if I'm "down" I'm just kind of thoughtful and introspective. To use a visual example, if a flare of temper (e.g. the kind where someone punches a wall or has a tantrum) could be compared to a wave crashing against the cliffs, my "flare of temper" when alone would be like perhaps ripples in a pond, or at the very most small languid waves lazily lapping onto the beach.

[holy rellik]

Hm...you don't "suffer" from two different kinds of empathy as far as I can tell. You just worded the situations differently. I don't claim to be an expert (in fact, far from it), but I've felt that I've had empathy for at least a few years now, and it's been intensifying rapidly recently.

I experience pretty much what you describe, in crowds I get overwhelmed with many emotions, washing over me and pretty much just consuming me. My best friend pulled alot of muscles while helping lift furniture into his house, pulled his pecs, arm, lower back, and I've felt it strongly. One day when it seemed practically everyone I knew had something wrong with them, it felt like my whole body was in pain.

I must admit though, you shouldn't say you suffer from it, or say it's a problem. Although it causes me pain or stress in general (I don't know about you, but when I get full of emotions that aren't mind, and the barrage keeps going, I get a mild burning sensation or weight upon my heart that's VERY uncomfortable), it still really is a blessing. Being able to truly feel compassion for people, and understand how they're feeling is a true asset. It also opens up the doorway to learn healing abilities, if you so desired (not saying it's easy, but it would be easier than if you had no clue what empathy was and were starting from scratch to open up).

If you need help coping, try taking long showers, or when you feel stressed and you can't do that, even just wash your hands. Water is a great emotional conductor and can help ground you and balance you out (it works for me at least). Also, try meditating, or even just closing your eyes and envisioning yourself in complete darkness (or light if that's your thing), and completely alone. Focus only on yourself, your energy, your breathing, your heartbeat, your physical attributes...just make sure no thoughts about anyone else, any situations, and anything about your environment come into your mind. These things usually help me try and sort myself out and calm down.

Oh and about aura vision, I've been experiencing that more intense lately as well. I've focused on an object and felt that everything was else was blurring and then fading out, and then colors...waves and waves and spirals and what not of different colors swirled around, and my body began to glow. I'm not sure about the pain, it might have to do something with you have sensitive eyes. Keep in mind, if you try and see auras vividly with color, you'll be looking through your own...if everything tints a certain color (I usually see everything as a pale yellow-green with purple swirls spinning by every now and then in random directions), then you're most likely seeing your own aura, and then anything else *through* your own.

Anyway, I know I didn't cover everything in this post. If ya have any questions feel free to ask me, or if you have AIM, my screen name is holy rellik.

[Lickerish]

I have also experienced painful auric veiwing or sensations from others as well.
Usually it is when someone is experiencing the emotion around me and is even more intense when we are in direct contact with each other.
It is a most upleasant thing to feel but then we are all persons with many different emotions.
I can feel often when someone is attracted to me especially if they come into direct contact with me like when I mediate with them.
It can be overwhelming to sense the moods of crowds of people around you and I also find that I prefer to be alone quite often so that I can find some peace of mind.