Am I really close to AP?

[VampLena]

I was wondering if I could have some insight. First let me say Im a physicist, and while I've believed in dimensions and such I've never been much into spirituality. I've also had problems with insomnia and sleeping because my mind can get so active with theory and formulae etc. So a friend suggested I meditate to clear my mind and find more peace. So I looked some meditation practices up online and tried it. This was about two weeks ago, and the first time I tried, I ended up seeing purple shapes and eventually was sucked through a vortex into what looked like a black sky with alot of stars and it was all very peaceful. Though when I got out of it, I felt my entire body vibrating and it worried me, I thought something 'broke' in my head and I had avoided mediating for a few days and I was no worse for the wear. It seemed to have no effects and I didnt see anything.

So I asked my friend about the kind of meditation she did and I tried that, (it was Zen) and it did help to calm my mind, and give me alot more focus though no more 'visions'. But recently now, maybe I've just gotten so good at it? When I meditate I dont feel my body after awhile,  its so light and sometimes I'll feel the inner vibration as well. I didnt think anything of it at first, I mean no one will ever think your crazy for getting relaxed right? Its the visions that get you locked up. Only now I get to the point where my heart just starts beating insanely fast and I feel like a shimmering, throughout my body like im getting up but im not moving, its almost like something within is struggling to escape.  So I looked this up alittle and it brought me here, it sounds like most have been practicing for years, but I've been only doing these things for less then two weeks.

Now my body is all kinds of messed up, it was so intense this morning chest is alittle sore, and I feel so tired. Not to mention something feels 'loose' inside me now. So I ask, did I break something? lol or am I really close to AP? I'd like to add Im fully awake when this happens, meaning I can recite M-theory while this is going on. Does that make it worse?

If Im close to it, how should I proceed from here? Im not scared of AP, if anything Im scared im going crazy or close to having a heart attack. I've only heard one thing trying to find help about this, and its some spiritualist new age religion type person telling me I might be very gifted to spiritually awaken so quickly and unintentionally. Im dubious however, its not very logical to me.

Thanks for any help,
Lena

[Stookie_]

I'm familiar with all of those sensations. They were fairly overwhelming for me, especially in the beginning. You're heart racing may not be your actual heart, but you heart chakra (obviously I can't say for sure). This is also very normal for some beginners - there have been a lot of them that have brought this exact issue up. The shapes and vortex and starfield are all highly reported experiences.

I really doubt you broke anything. From my experience I would guess you've just experienced some new states of awareness that opened you up energetically, and it's a bit wild now and will calm down. You might want to look into some form of energy work, like Robert Bruce's NEW, to help balance it out. If not, absorbing yourself into physical activity will help smooth it out.

I would bet that if you kept at it a few times a week, those things will calm down a lot and you can focus more on exercises and training. Use your intuition and if you're not feeling good about it, take a break. In the end, AP should help you, not be a hindrance. Have fun!

[VampLena]

Thank you for the reply, it helped alot. I feel better about these things since its been widely reported. About my heart racing, I will say, i recall it felt more like my heart racing in the dead center of my chest, not where it physically is and even then it felt like it was at the core of my chest cavity, I dont know if that makes sense. It also didnt hurt, it just startled me which is when I think the phasing? shimmering? stopped and my insides stopped trying to escape my body. It was all very surreal to me especially when I didnt understand at the time what was happening.

I think though I want to keep it up, none of this has actually harmed me in any way, its more been fear of getting harm from it. Admittedly, to go from studying dimensions in a lab to actually visiting them and getting my Star Trek on exploring new worlds and new civilizations (from my perspective) sounds very appealing to me. I never would have imagined someone like me could be in this situation due to my lifestyle being so far from that of a spiritualist or shaman or what no, but I actually find these possibilities exciting.

I hope I can figure out how to control this, so these experiences are more natural and less harrowing.

[Szaxx]

Hi and welcome to the Pulse.
You appear to be experiencing things somewhat out of order. The vortex you entered can send you anywhere at any time. This is usually done by intent built up from a strong desire. These are not generally noticed by beginners.
You already have experience but unaware of this fact by your brief post.
For some info to put perspective into your knowings I'd suggest reading two books full of relevant info from two different perspectives.
They are M. Raduga's School of Out of Body Travel. ( SOBT.PDF) and Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce.
These will give insight and supply a good all round knowledge for interpretation of your experiences.

[VampLena]

Thanks for the welcome and the book reccomendations. I wonder how these things happened out of order? I didnt really have any control when i encountered the vortex is my mind. I was just swept up in it.

I am a Star Trek fan and a scientist and as such intensely curious about other dimensions and meeting beings and other strange things, could that be my desire is strong because of those things? I've fantasized often about being able to explore the universe and my lifes dream has been to become a Astronaunt. Thats the only things i can think of to explain how my desire could be so great this started happening.

[Contenteo]

I don't think you 'broke' anything. I just think you are getting used to the whole myriad of new sensations that have been locked away, so close but so far, all this time.

I remember when I first began projection. Every experience gave me something new to consider. I would come out of meditation and, be able to look down at my body and make a clear delineation between mind and body. For I just existed for two hours in my own consciousness without one. I would look down at my body and just observe how weird it actually is. 'What a strange construct.' I would think.

Point is, I felt like I was breaking myself. I felt like I was doing permanent, irreversible damage to my psyche, more specifically, my mental model of the world. In a way it was true, there is no going back once you start to understand this stuff. But I have good news. You are breaking down all the weakness in your previous mental outlook of the world and you will, I am sure more then ever with you being a physicist, will build them back, even stronger.

The faintness in your body is what we call 'mind awake, body asleep' another name for it is F10. It is pretty much the first of the widespread verifiable sensations you will hit every time during the phase process. It is step one, every time, all the time.

Beware of anything that is not very logical. I am an accountant and was able to find a nice plausible framework that fits many of the phenomenon being claimed here without relying on anything spiritual or new age. Keep conservative, keep skeptical, but explore. Trust, but verify for yourself. This is an inward exploration. Don't try to outsource it.

Best of luck in your journey, it sounds like it is off to quite the start. 

Don't forget to keep a journal.

Cheers,
Contenteo

[VampLena]

Thanks for the support and the reply. On some level I've always known I think that the power of my mind is beyond that of my body, and would think this clumsy body gets in the way sometimes. I never would guess how true that line of thinking was.  I think i understand these concepts, at least the parts after you manage to project in science terms. So far we known only energy is capable of shifting dimensions, and that is what seems to be happening when your mind leaves the body. I think once i can do this like you guys I'll have a greater understanding of how all this works in scientific terms rather then the spiritual terms that have traditionally been applied to this.

I dont feel scared, i feel excited, I can definatly say if my desire to project wasnt solid before it is now.  Is it possible to learn to do this at will? Like if I just want to escape and a I close my eyes and im gone? Of course i dont mean right away, but as a long term goal to work for? I would really love to be able to cultivate such a skill if its possible.

[Szaxx]

Hi,
It's possible and when proficient you'll notice a feeling that appears where you instinctively know now's a good time. This comes unexpectedly and when the timing is inline with an attempt its typically an experience you totally remember.
Shape shifting is relatively easy and being an energetic singularity in a thought form will become apparent in their respective environment. For now its time to walk before you run. You should be proficient at this being more inclined to apply logic rather than emotions.
You'll soon learn the meaning of thought=action. An experience in itself.
Fear is the most common obstacle, bearing the above in mind, its characteristic is akin to thermal runaway in semiconductors.
A somewhat passive with a show of interest is the mindset to possess.
Eventually the far reaches of the physical universe will seem dull compared to some experiences as there are many where you don't want to return to the physical reality at any cost. It puts reality on pure unconditional love (PUL).
Enjoy the experience.

[VampLena]

Im so silly sometimes. I finally get it all, I tried to astral project this morning when i woke up, though i couldnt get through the exit point i've heard about. But I learned a very valuable thing, I dont know why I thought astral projection was about energies pushing outward, to manifest into my spirit like it had felt. No wonder my chakras where going wild, i was letting my energy go the wrong way. I dont know how, but I had the idea for some reason of going inward, into my mind this morning instead of letting my energy run wild like it has been doing. There was bright lights, sounds and i could feel my visualizations of flying and jumping becoming 3D from the 2D blackness. It was very eye opening, suddenly today i feel such clarity and that this isnt a bad experience, but when done right it is a incredible experience.

How could I not know that before? How did I just suddenly find this out?

Lena

[Contenteo]

I dont feel scared, I feel excited, I can definatly say if my desire to project wasnt solid before it is now.  Is it possible to learn to do this at will? Like if I just want to escape and a I close my eyes and im gone? Of course I dont mean right away, but as a long term goal to work for?

Yes, it took me about 2 months of steadfast practice and research to get my first fullfledged exit. I would call myself fluent at the discipline, and its about a year later.

Cheers,
Contenteo

[8bit]

I think it was AP. I seen a vortex before as well when I meditated. You didn't make it all the way through though. What track did you use to meditate 2? I plan on AP to the edge of the u-verse. I've already been to Japan lol. I have a thread on that. Your friend is right abut the meditating to find the answer. I meditated last night, and I remembered stuff that I completely forgot about my child hood. Don't worry about the vibrations. You will get used to them. Every time I meditate on a certain chakra I get them. One time all of my chakras where vibrating. If this was your first time meditating then you are doing good lol. The first time I meditated, I got bubbly sensation down in my pelvic area. It scared the excrement out of me. It was completely normal though. Good luck!   

[VampLena]

Tracks? lol, I meant it when i said i was literally a new to this, I didnt have binaural tracks or anything the first time i meditated and got into the vortexes. I was just following what I was told and it happened.

Im still kicking myself though, I had a odd experience last night and I think I was on the very verge of OBEing. I awoke, and I couldnt move, and I was groggy and not fully aware yet, so i was just trying to sleep, I wasnt worried, i did remember on some level about sleep paralysis, then i started hearing voices and growling but i didnt see anything, and I was mostly annoyed so I said "Shut up" and thats when my physical eyes poped open, because it was my physical mouth that said shut up. And at the same moment, I realized that was one of the windows for OBEing/LD, and I kicked myself for not noticing it one second earlier.

I cant help but feel i was close, if I would just just kicked into the OBE falling out of the body visualizations I would have OBEd. But what should I do in such a situation?

Also, I dont know if it means anything, but I can fairly regularly during my practice sessions get to the point where Im practicing keeping focus on a visualization of walking around my house, as its much easier to focus on details and visualize pivoting my head to notice things like designs in carpets and such, but often after alittle of this my mind will just plop me down in another set, like this afternoon it put me on a dock, so I just went with it, I still had minimal awareness of my body but i could walk around the dock and it felt psuedo real, then a boat appeared so i got on that, and thats when figures started to appear, but they where formless, so i tried talking to one and while he didnt say anything the name "claude" just poped into my mind. Its like I was having a very weak dream.  What do I do at that point? just keep going along with my mind? Can I exit from that, or go more into it?

[Lionheart]

Tracks? lol, I meant it when i said i was literally a new to this, I didnt have binaural tracks or anything the first time i meditated and got into the vortexes. I was just following what I was told and it happened.

I really liked this quote!  It's as easy as you said, you just have to believe it. Don't let yourself get caught up in all the many different techniques and terms, this is what causes confusion and tends to hinder people from moving forward. Keep a good journal and once a month or once a week go back to it and then try to explain it to yourself. You will find that you will see a pattern growing. Passively observing right now is a great thing to do.
Good Luck and Safe Travels!