AstralEmbarrasment

[Meg]

Dear Leyla,

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience.

It's a horrible thing to have to keep something so significant to yourself. I know how you feel. The rare times I've shared my experiences, I've been gripped by an overwhelming, deep fear (of what??) and a sharp sense of regret for being so careless about "letting it slip out". I find myself appraising people: "How would they react if I told them?" It isn't a nice way to live.

It would be lovely to be one of those peole who doesn't care what anyone else thinks. But I suppose we have to live in the Real World too, and in that place OBEs need to be a dirty secret. I try to romanticise it as "my secret inner world". Sometimes I feel I could explode with the desire to talk about it with real live people more often.

I sympathise with your "Astral Block" - it's been a good six months since I had a projection.  I miss it so much. I miss the sense of possibility. I miss feeling involved with the community here, and the feeling of discovery and exploration. I miss the contact with my guide, who I was just getting to know.

Yes, the astral world is always there. Yes, we just need to live in the "right" way. Yes, we need to find ways of overcoming the demons that hold us back.

But it isn't that simple. We can know all we like with our heads and our intellect, but it doesn't change the unconscious, the parts of us that we can't even consciously access. I want to believe there are ways of healing these things, but part of me sometimes wonders. Does anyone know the myth of Chiron, with his wound that never healed? I feel as though everything continues to exist inside us always, leaving imprints on the underside of our skin.. all our fears and hurts and joys, never truly going away.  Just sleeping in the psyche.

It's beautiful in a way.
*
POLAROIDS - A poem by me, and copyright

It's the pictures of faces that stay.
On noisy days they flash again
like polaroids behind my eyes,
like childish ghosts, they flutter
spiteful in my blood
at all this disciplined forgetting.

Before, younger and more still,
I pressed names and dates
to their celluloid smiles,
mapped their imprints on my iris.
Things made sense,
I built up meaning,
patient and with purpose.

These pictures of faces,
these old processions
grow tangled now.
No fate, just fingertips
that bruise me from the inside out,
and mark with fondness or fury
the places I was loved.

*
So Leyla, maybe things cant ever truly be resolved? Maybe all you can do is accept them, and let them sleep.

Meg x

[liz mccal]

Hello,

I am so sorry.  I understand something like that has happened to me.  No crush or love involved though.

I worked hard to be an asset to my company so it didn't matter what people think and now I have made quantum phycics a hobbie, so instead of talking about the "spiritual side" I talk about the science of atoms and dementions.  People think I'm intelegent nerdy but it is a interesting way to look at things.  

It's funny but I bet you are really pretty.  I bet that women could be envious of you for something as stupid as looks.  I bet you were a threat.  I am sorry you had to learn the hard way but proffesionalism in the office is a must and I had to learn the hard way too.

Another thing I have done is not care what people think, or broach subjects with small bits of info nothing that could hurt me to see how they react.  I admit to being "crazy" in some situations and make jokes and my self confidence seems to over ride any thing i say.  

I also don't care if people think I am crazy.  

Another good hint is do the people you talk to care alot about "things" "looks" "cool" more than human emotion and growing inside not on the outside.  If so they probably can not grasp anything outside of a 3-demention life.  Learn a small amount about quanum physics if they cant follow the idea of "atoms" science proving 11 other dementions they probably can not grasp this stuff.

I understand women being rude because you are the "pretty one" or "smart one" and if you have both insecurity can run high rather you see it that way or not.  I used to weigh 200lbs and no one did that stuff no one looked at me funny for sexual jokes im not 117lbs and I cant get away with as much. It sucks but it's true.
You had something they didn't, so go in your office like nothing can touch you with more profesionalism than Donald Trump like it didn't happen dont talk bad about any of the "gals" or "guys" and if you get the chance a review or something you can always say something witty like "my work stands for its self and i preffer not to talk about anyone else wrather it be true or not" that just plants a seed.

I am sorry again sweetie lessions come at a high price, I did lose a job once and now I dont do personal socializing or love at a place that puts food on my table.

Liz[:I]

[liz mccal]

sorr i read that sounds stuck up im 117lbs now and cant do anything cuz im soo pretty.  No i dont see it that way but people who do see me as a threat it took 3 years to get that threw my head.

If your friends are all from work well start hanging out at starbucks or something mixing the two can become dangerous especially with bills to pay.

Liz[:I]

[beavis]

Tell them "you're going to hell because you dont believe in astral projection". That seems to work for them. They do it so much. They should be embarrassed for being closed minded, not you.

[PeacefulWarrior]

Leyla,

First of all, I am very sorry for you.  What a horrible perdicament!  Second, although Bevis' post made it sound as if these people have some kind of religous bias against you, I know that it goes above and beyond that (or below that). It's not that your friends think what you are doing is wrong (you made it clear that they were intrigued themselves), they are just selfish and conniving and will obviously do anything to push their way to the top.  

FInally, I think your boss, or the "guy in charge" could find himself in trouble for discriminating against you based on heresay.  You can believe or think anything you want, at least in this country, without fear, legally speaking of course.  You probably don't want to do this, but just know that if you were to get an attorney I think you could have a case.  Then again, this is a "he said she said" kind of thing.

I guess the lesson to be learned has something to do with friends and trust.  Real friends would not have done what they did.

I would personally confront the guy and tell him exactly how you feel.

Best wishes and keep us informed.

[beavis]

PeacefulWarrior "although Bevis' post made it sound as if these people have some kind of religous bias against you, I know that it goes above and beyond that (or below that). It's not that your friends think what you are doing is wrong (you made it clear that they were intrigued themselves),"

I was talking about her boss. If his bias isnt religious, it is at least closed minded.

[Tab]

quote:Originally posted by beavis

Tell them "you're going to hell because you dont believe in astral projection". That seems to work for them. They do it so much. They should be embarrassed for being closed minded, not you.

ugh, last year I was interviewed at school by a psychological counselor, without my knowing or warning. You can imagine how happy I was when I found that the first reason on the list was because I 'believed I could mystically astral project'. Followed by a bunch of weird accusations about cults and all sorts of crap that I have absolutely no freaking clue where came from.

It turns out, my mom had gone to talk to the student counselor about my grades (OMG, I GOT A C, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME) and happened to mention something about astral projection (which I don't know why she would be talking about something she knows nothing of). The counselor's response was something like "Oh, we've dealt with that sort of thing before".

If nothing else, that experience taught me what utter fools your average american conservative christian or phenomenalistic atheist are. In fact, I wound up writing a term paper on the subject of ignorance in the west towards eastern ideas.

So.. yeah... you learn the hard way that people are complete idiots and are not ready to face up to things that are beyond their narrow blanket world with it's structure and it's blind ignorance.

[PeacefulWarrior]

Beavis- you are right on about him being close minded.  

It's really sad when you realize just how close minded and ingnorant most people are about, well, everything...and I don't mean to make it sound like all of us have everything figured out.  The main thing is that more you learn the more you realize you don't know.

I am going into education and I vow to be an understanding teacher.  And when my kid talks about his dreams or other expereinces I am going to be there for them...

Hey Tab, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?  I am just curious...
Best
Dan

[Tab]

DOB: 11/08/86
In short, 16.

[MJ-12]

zx

[Leyla]

I am more woried about my broken heart than a lawsuit.
Plus I was not involved in anything corporate or office related.

I was a member of a underground theater troupe (performance art)
He was a videographer following us around for a documentary film.
The other performers were upset that he and I were getting too close.
I was accuzed of trying to "seal the show" and worries were expressed that the whole documentary would center around me. This was their way of making sure I would be passed over by him. Before he had been talking about making an in-depth personal profile just about me!
Now, I'm sure many of my scenes and interviews have hit the cutting room floor. If not all of them!

And LIZ- you were so right. It was petty jealousy, and they are very superficial people. I swear they were only performing to get invited to the cool parties and act like A-list snobs. They all seem to think they're stars.

[liz mccal]

Hey,

Why didn't you say they were actors.  That should clue you off right there.  90% fo that industrie before star/after star are crul people.  I know from meeting a few.  Spiritualy hymmmm.... you might be in preforming arts for a reason, most people the adoration or they think they are "the one".  Man im tellin ya every nice feak i can talk to i met at "occult" bookstores or starbucks.  Im in technology sales and have been and i find no one that likes what i do.  to the extent i do.
Question why would you want a man who does not understand your spirituality?  wouldn't you prefer a partner in life who has diffrent qualities but an ability to grow with you, not look at you funny because you are? if he is treating you diffrently because your beliefs how can you still be in love with him? I dont care how tight the body the brain/person is what turns me on.[:X]

Liz[:I]

[Leyla]

If anyone has a solution for this I'd love to know.

My closest friends knew about my OBE's and were very open minded, going so far as to ask me for tips on how I did it, and buying books on the topic for themselves.

Then we came up for the same position at work. Then they turned on me- actually going to the guy in charge (a dyed-in-the-wool-conservative) to tell him how I was "flakey" and "mentally unstable" quoting my OBE experiences as proof.

It worked like a charm.
And what's worse: No one knew it, but I was in love with the man. Deeply. After my so called "friends" went to him and ran my name into the ground, he lost all respect for me. I had no crediblity with him after that. Suddenly everything I said was in doubt, when before he had held me in the highest esteem and sought my opinion. It was as if, in his eyes, I had fallen from grace.

This experience was so painful I have not had an OBE in five months. They have stopped cold.

How am I supposed to live with this? Should I tell no one, ever? Even people who believe you won't hesitate to stab you in the back with it at a moments notice.

Reputation is everything. Credibility is everything.

I am trying to get my OBE's back- but I don't know if they will come unless I am able to resolve this conflict.