I'm in love with someone that doesn't exist.

[Arthropod]

I don't know if this is the right place to post it, but I will anyway.

About 2 weeks ago, I had a pretty cool dream about a girl I don't know. Since them, I've made 2 more dreams and the same girl was always in them. The thing is, from my dream she is very attractive and she has a great persona. All my dreams involved kissing at some point.

I think I'm in love with her. I can't wait to go to sleep(usually after 3AM so I can trinket with my internal clock and get myself to wake up in the period where you remember your dreams.) I've also had some weird experiences, including the feeling of being watched, weird shadows and feeling(a hand petting my neck, or the breath of someone). I dismissed them all as my imagination, but somehow I'm not so sure about that now. A friend told me I could probably try to summon her down to Earth by a certain mean. So, my question is threefold.

1) Is summoning a ghost/guardian angel/whatever down to Earth in a physical form is possible?

2) Is it wise do to so?

3) Assuming 1) is impossible, is it wise to maintain a relation with the being but having a RL girlfriend/whatever?

Thank you for your help.

[David Warner]

Arthropod,

I had a experience something similar to what you speak of, but it was a physical woman I attended college with. I had a major crush or was infatuation with her but too scarred to approach her at school.

So she crept into my astral experiences all the time. We would travel here, there, have astral sex, and were the best of buds. But the physical element was totally missing and really wasn't healthy. This could have been a manifestation of my own creation or clothing someone else while out thinking it was her.

What I would do if you can is: The next time you meet up - Ask her questions? See if you can get her full name, location, phone #, and why is she interested in you? I know that's a lot to ask but I think if you really will this and think about target questions daily this will bleed over into your dreams in asking her.

Your questions

1.  I don't know if summoning would be the way to go. Seek her out in your dreams and ask questions

2. I guess you won't know until questions are responded to vs. having to  summon her. But by then you wouldn't have to summon her.

3. We are hear in the physical world  to experience love, life with our physical partner. I think this would be something to miss out on if you pursue this woman 24/7 in the astral.  

Hope this helps.

Tvos

[C_P]

Ugh, well, I am in the same situation, and to think about this "person" alot, see them in dreams, then wake up to see nothing, no-body is there is a horrible feeling. And there seems to be no way to bypass this feeling.

[Tombo]

Could be that you knew the girl in an earlier Life and now the two of you try to reconnect? Just a thought..........

[Van-Stolin]

I have something like this.  Though she is a purely Astral Being, she is nice though and follows me almost anywhere.  However she does pester me to get a physical girlfriend.

[Telos]

I'm in love almost every time I dream (although the word "love" seems very incomplete). Just when I think that "dream women" cannot get more beautiful and amazing, they do! For a while I was very worried that I would consistently see dream women as superior to the biological, but I guess they're just different. You may find that the almost unending varieties of emotions you can experience during dreams will eventually distract you from your current love, while still having full appreciation.

I hope I was of some help.

[David Warner]

Telos,Van-Stolin and CP,

Don't you think that a physical woman would be healthier then a dream/astral woman? Sure, there's a connection of great love and passion, but nothing can come close to a live, breathing, wife that you wake up to every morning and can see her smile saying "I Love You".

I'm not trying to knock you three, but to me there's that lesson of love to be learned here in the physical. The astral life will come later and that's when you can pursue her.

Just a thought..

Tvos

[Telos]

the voice of silence, that's why I was worried about seeing dream women as superior. One can easily see how that can be unhealthy. So, no, I do not think that one is superior. However, I certainly think that dream reality as a medium for expression is superior to the physical reality. It's difficult to not boldly admit that.

but nothing can come close to a live, breathing, wife that you wake up to every morning and can see her smile saying "I Love You". ...

Every morning, huh? Forgive my cynicism, but you must have a very unusual marriage.

Also, I do not mean to spar with you on the merits of a physical relationship and pit it against what we might term a dream relationship, but I cannot conceive of a "live, breathing, wife" as you say, that could possibly connect with me on the levels I've felt with dream characters. If you cannot relate to that, you are fortunate. Such experiences have been both a great blessing and a great curse in this light.

As for the "lesson of love to be learned here in the physical," I'm afraid I can't share that teleological philosophy of life. If our purpose was to love one another, then we should all treat one another in some common way, or else we gibber on the meaning of "love." And what is that, really, that we would like from every person, and that every person expects from us? Respect.

That's it. Add love and you risk, even sometimes in a small way, imposing your desires where they're not wanted, thus becoming disrespectful. Much damage has been made in the name of love with the mindset that someone was just trying to help. This is not the fault of the lover but the fault of love itself. We must respect one another. You might insist that love includes respect, but then why do lovers divorce one another out of respect for each other's wishes? Why is it disrespectful for a bachelor to tell a married woman that he loves her? Why does respecting someone who does not return your love mean not attempting to show your love? These instances and more demonstrate some of the mutual exclusiveness between love and respect, and how learning to love someone can mean not loving them at all.

I hope you do not feel that I've berated you for your worldview, as I'm sure you're a very respectful person, but I find that emphasis on love to be a nonstarter at best and historically heinous at worst.

[David Warner]

Telos,

Not to be rude or put you down but your last paragraph kinda of reminded me how Jerry Springer ends his tv show by support, sympathy, and a loving tone. Again, please forgive me on that but I just had to say something..

I think at one time if I can recall that I was in love with a woman in the astral. Even though she lived in the physical, she was there and everywhere to be found. But I found that it was great pain because I could share with her in the astral but not physical at the same time.

Anyways, I wish you luck in your findings..Keep me in touch with this.

Tvos

[Telos]

Not to be rude or put you down but your last paragraph kinda of reminded me how Jerry Springer ends his tv show by support, sympathy, and a loving tone. Again, please forgive me on that but I just had to say something..

That's funny because I thought I was the one being rude. I'm almost tempted to take that as a compliment. ;)

But I found that it was great pain because I could share with her in the astral but not physical at the same time.

You can relate, then. I think that kind of pain is one of the worst... something we have to deal with, it seems.

Anyways, I wish you luck in your findings..Keep me in touch with this.

I wish you luck as well. Hopefully I will actually have some more findings again!

[Heather B.]

I am in a similar dilemma, only I'm not in love with someone who doesn't exist, I'm in love with a dead man.

I know, I know, he's not really "dead," and in fact I have had several encounters with him during random phase-shifts to F2/F3.  But the fact is... yeah, really, he IS dead.  He's dead to my physical life.  In everyday life, I cannot see him (except in photographs), I cannot hear him, I can't feel him, I can't be intimate with him, I can't wake up next to him.  I will never get to marry him, have a family with him, or do any of the many things we'd wanted to do together.  I am not going to get to grow old with him.

When I began having my astral encounters with him, and when I found this site, I thought--This is it!  This is the answer to my problems!  This is the medicine for my wounds!  If I can just learn to phase at will, I can be with him whenever I want!  Our relationship can keep on going as it always did!  

But I'm coming to realize it's not that simple. For one thing, I think that my emotional urgency has only hampered my development as a phase-shifter.  But even if I were the most talented phase-shifter on earth---I would still be a physical person, and he would not.  In my everyday life... I would still be alone.  And that great future we had planned would still be dead with him.  And I think I would be in even worse shape than I'm in now.

We have to take this physical existence as it's given to us.  We have to make the most of it.  There is nothing wrong with exploring the astral world, but it's not the world we live in right now, for whatever reason.  We can't avoid it.  We can't use our abilities to explore the astral world as a crutch.  I'm afraid that's what I've been doing, and it has only done me harm.  I haven't been trying to develop my skills for the right reason---the right reason is to enhance the future for human kind---not to try to hold on to one's own past.

So, I'm still going to keep on trying, but for the right reason.  And in the meantime, while I am here, and he is not here, I am going to do my best to pick up the pieces of myself and to carry on and live the best life I can.  
Physical people need physical people to share life and love with.  And chances are, I am going to find someone else to share them with.  We all deserve that happiness, and astral "affairs" are no substitute for it.  I can tell you, when I am with him in the astral, it's wonderful, but it's not the same.  I don't think it can ever be the same.  As long as I'm here, I'm never going to have the same thing I had with him before.  

I wish I were wrong!  I don't want to leave behind the past life I had with him, GOD ALMIGHTY, I don't want to!  And yet with every day that goes by, it is receding farther and farther away.  And it hurts like hell--I can't tell you how it hurts!  But going on with life is the only thing that can be done.  And I think it's the only thing he wants me to do.  He doesn't want my life to be wrecked just because he's not here with me any more.  And he doesn't want me to always be trying to live in a "dream" world.  I know it's not really a "dream world," I know it's real, probably more real than this world.  But for now, I have to wake up to this world, and I have to do the things I need to do, and interact with the people I need to interact with, and go the places I need to go.

Sorry to be so long-winded, but... this is the most honest I've been with myself or with anyone else.  And if my story can help anyone in even the slightest way... that will make it worthwhile.

[Andali27]

What does she look like arthropod?

[Telos]

AMM, thank you for your story. I can't imagine how you must feel. Although I had a peculiar relationship where I was still in love with someone after it was clear that I'd never see her, hear her, wake up to her, etc. - for all practical purposes dead. So I can't help but try. For I also attempted to contact her, sometimes successfully, it seems, but I'd never be able to confirm it.

I haven't been trying to develop my skills for the right reason---the right reason is to enhance the future for human kind---

I'm not certain, so take this for what it's worth, but depending on how you look at it that might not be the right reason either. I held that reason for a while just recently and it seems that, "my emotional urgency has only hampered my development as a phase-shifter," exactly as you put it. I suspect a better reason might be just to learn what is interesting and have fun - not necessarily for anyone's benefit or detriment.

This takes great courage, though, because our social interactions are such that it doesn't seem like people will take immediate value or joy in the dreams of others. Hopefully this will change, though, because dreams really are good for everybody.

[Heather B.]

Telos,

I appreciate your understanding, truly.  You're right that it's best to approach this subject because it's interesting and fun.  That's what I'm trying to do now.  Trying to let go of the emotions.

I do believe that it will enhance the future for everyone, eventually.  But I agree, for now, as an individual, we all will probably be most effective if we just take it easy.  In any case, I've at least learned that using it to just remain in the past, with a dead lover isn't the right thing to do.

Besides, if astral women are really so stunning, who's to say he hasn't already found a new girlfriend?  Does that happen I wonder?  I wonder how our dead loved ones feel about those they leave behind...  I like to think that once I die, then we really can pick up where we left off, so to speak, but... I wish I were more sure... *sigh*

[mactombs]

Besides, if astral women are really so stunning, who's to say he hasn't already found a new girlfriend?  Does that happen I wonder? I wonder how our dead loved ones feel about those they leave behind... I like to think that once I die, then we really can pick up where we left off, so to speak, but... I wish I were more sure... *sigh*

There a lot of factors to think of here. First, the lack of time in the astral. It could be a million years, or it could be a second for him before he sees you again at the end of your life. Also, it could be that you move on in your life and meet someone else. That doesn't mean his feelings for you would have changed, or that yours will have. They probably will just have matured.

Also, I figure after death hormones figure in differently. It doesn't matter how stunning a woman looks like if you don't have the glands to care. There's probably other reasons for being attracted to someone.