I thought the vibrations were my husband's spirit visiting me...

[JenShepwood]

This might be a little off topic but here goes...  My husband died in October and maybe a month and a half later I experienced sleep paralysis a few times. I felt a magnetic, vibrating "pull" from his side of the bed. It felt like it was pulling me towards it. It was scary as hell! I tried to tell myself to calm down - that it was my husband's spirit. It happened again and the whole time I was telling myself not to be scared because it was him. This time it moved above me and I thought my body was going to lift out of itself and rise up (and maybe go where he is) but then I felt this pressure on my chest (I thought it was him but it did feel a little rough) so I didn't rise up. I mentioned this to his cousin and she told me that she had experienced the same exact thing when her grandfather, whom she was very close with, died. She thought it was him visiting her. Then a month or so later I started getting full body vibrations. (These were much nicer than the sleep paralysis experience!!)  Again I thought this was my husband - sending me his love, letting me know that he still exists. Then I started poking around online and found that it might be the beginning of an OOBE.  I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and had a few more of the vibration "visits."  But then, last week I was poking around online again and I found this forum. I read personalreality's post "How I got out for the first time" and when I woke up in the middle of the night one night I thought: why not give this a try?  And, it started to work!  I got the full body vibrations and then my torso started to slip out of my body but then I couldn't keep the vibrations going. 

So, this is a very long way of asking: has anyone had this experience when they lost someone close to them?  Do you think there is a reason this all began once I lost my husband and never before?  I'm interested in pursuing this - it was so cool!  But, since I'm completely new to all of this I'm wondering, is there a chance that I can meet with him if I can get out of my body? I'm really just wanting to know what you all think of this - coincidence, spiritual awakening, could it possibly be a visit from my husband?  (Btw, I began this journey believing in nothing beyond this physical life here on earth and so I am new to MUCH more than just OOBEs.)  Also, what is the best first book I should read about OOBEs and astral projection? Thank you!

[T-Man]

JenShepwood,

First of all, welcome to the forum.  Very sorry to hear about your husband.  I am fairly new to this whole subject myself and was like you who really wasn't aware of much more than my physical life.  I am finding out though there is much much more!  There are many experienced people here so I will let them answer most of your questions.  I can however recommend some very good books and authors.  I'm sure other people will mention others.  I came across Robert Monroe's first book and this has changed my life.  I would recommend starting with his but other people may differ.  I only suggest this because many books that I have read refer to Monroe in their books and it may help explain things when they are referring to him.

Robert Monroe (www.monroeinstitute.org)
- Journey's Out of the Body
- Far Journey's
- Ultimate Journey

William Buhlman (www.astralinfo.org)
- Adventures in the Afterlife

Other great authors:
Kurt Leland, Bruce Moen, Robert Peterson, Thomas Campbell

Enjoy your journey and I look forward to reading other responses. 

[EscapeVelocity]

Hello JenShepwood and Welcome to the Pulse!

I am very sorry for your loss and I hope we can offer some answers and provide some context that will prove useful. Please keep in mind that whatever information or advice I may offer is only based on my research and my experience and in my case, I freely admit that my current beliefs are entirely provisional; they are subject to change anytime I come across new or conflicting information. If Life and 'The Wider Reality' have taught me anything over the last 55 years, it is that my understanding of Reality will continue to necessarily expand and consider new perspectives.

The easy questions first. There are some really good books out there and each one I could recommend depending on what your current level of experience is at. A book offering a good, basic overview and some techniques would be 'Adventures Beyond the Body' by William Buhlman. But honestly, the best collection of material can be found right here at the Pulse, and it's free! You found one of the first, personalreality's 'How I Got Out...'. On the same Board is a good treatise on Sleep Paralysis and Lumaza's 'Exit Symptoms/Signposts'. And if you drop down to the blue stickies in the third Board you can try Xanth's 60 pager, Szaxx's 'Astral Blueprint' and check out Contenteo's map of the 'Conceptual Framework of the Astral' for an interesting visual.

Reading all this is good for at least a couple reasons: One, you get some fairly well confirmed concepts of what and how; Two, you get enough details impressed into your memory of what you might encounter as far as exit sensations and the likely environments you could find yourself in. Simply put, it is all good knowledge to have because we all encounter slightly different variations of all these Non-Physical phenomena and there is honestly no telling what you will encounter. You are already experiencing some of that in what you are describing.

Over the last few years, I have realized several personal maxims that relate to this form of consciousness exploration:

Stay open to pretty much everything
Know that you are always protected
Always go with the flow
Leave behind the 'Physical Reality' mindset and open yourself to an infinitely greater 'Non-physical' way of looking at your world and your experiences
Any experience that you have the opportunity to learn something is a valid experience
Everything can be expressed as Energy/Information/Consciousness
There are exceptions to pretty much everything
(This list can go on forever... )

Okay, here is a rough summary of the Out of Body experience available to most first-timers: You might be a natural at this and bypass all the preliminary stuff (you have already demonstrated this possibility). If you remember your dreams, if you actively participate in your dreams (Lucid Dreaming), then recognize that this is one form of OBE or Astral Projection. If this is the case, then look back over your life, especially your childhood and think about those exceptionally 'different' kinds of dreams you had; these were forms of OBE. Flying dreams? Dreams where you seemed to be tested? Rummaging through a house looking for something? Opening doors, checking rooms?
The 'classic' idea of  an OBE is that you relax, get some vibrations and, like a ghost, float out of your physical body and go exploring your neighborhood and the local Universe. It can happen that way and often does initially. With some minor bickering amongst ourselves as to the true definition, we generally refer to this as a Physical Plane/Etheric/RTZ (Real Time Zone) kind of OBE. Most of us have experienced it. It's fun. It's also like watching a drunk guy at a party as he stumbles around exploring the concept of balance. There is a lot to learn in these experiences such as how you learn to control a Non-Physical energy body with conscious awareness. How you maintain balance, how you 'see', how you move, how you think...it's all quite new, confusing and a general hoot. There seem to be limitations to how far beyond our bedroom or house we can travel without losing awareness or encountering a necessary shift in consciousness.

Eventually our OBE experience does make a shift into a new realm of experience that is generally considered the Astral Plane and can be arguably sub-divided various ways, eg- the Personal Dream Zone, the Collective Dream Zone, and the Astral Proper which includes the Afterlife Regions where the majority of us spend our time in between lives on Earth or in other Dimensions or Realities...yeah.

Now...as humans currently existing on Earth, we don't automatically have a passport to freely travel to all these places anytime we choose; it is dependent on many factors such as our level of evolution, our 'spiritual maturity' and emotional control, our ability to operate with awareness that can sustain at that level of experiencing, our Intent and our 'need'.

A personal example: My dad died suddenly back in 2010 and I had a difficult time with it. I was having OBEs at the time but did not feel anywhere close to being emotionally capable of trying for a visit to check on him. Nonetheless the idea was simmering in my subconscious and one night I made an exit and the desire burst forth in a very spontaneous fashion. And somebody, I don't know who, took me to him. It was a very brief visit but I had my most basic desire or 'Intent' fulfilled, that was to see if he was okay. It was fuzzy, hazy, which indicated my inability to get my awareness 'up' to the required level...but it was enough. I said hello and asked if he was okay and he was. My 'guide' was a hazy blur to my immediate right but I knew instinctively what he was.
I am incredibly grateful for that experience and it also served as a huge confirmation to all this.

Beyond the RTZ and Astral experiences are what can be provisionally defined as Mental and Higher Level experiences. Maybe you have had some of these; many of us have in various forms. They can be visual or simply mental constructs, some literally formless and defying clear definition. They begin to defy description; language fails us.

Now to the more pertinent questions and I am sure some knowledgeable others will contribute.

Was that your husband? Maybe, but really you are the only person to answer that. If the connection between you two was that strong, then certainly it is possible. Maybe a good question to ask is 'Is he the type of guy/husband who would stick around to keep up that connection?' Along with that, do you really, passionately want to keep that connection? If the answer is a resounding yes, then maybe you two can keep a connection open. What you do with that is up to you (two).

Keep in mind that the general trend of the Universe is that we always are moving on to the next phase...there will always be time to catch up with one another at a later date. But then again...Rule #20 something says that there are exceptions to every rule...

I hope that gives some useful ideas to consider, others will chime in. We are all sharing and dare-ing.

Peace

PS   T-Man beat me to the first response and he gave good advice!

[Subtle Traveler]

Hello Jen ...

You have my condolences on the physical loss of your husband. Just know that it is not a complete loss. It is certainly a physical loss, but the majority of who he is remains ... he is simply focused elsewhere because he can no longer do so from the viewpoint of a body. And there are aspects of you (your inner being) which have contact with him as he is now (yes!). Without his physical body, your husband has a different perspective. It is important to understand this, because he will feel differently when you (and others who knew him) have contact with him.

Note that his contact may also increase your contact with others (who are non-physical).

You have done a good job documenting and describing your experiences. Keep doing this (write them down). Your mentioned experiences with sensing your husband's presence are valid, but you will feel sometimes like 'you are making this stuff up'. That's the way it comes forth sometimes. When experiencing the non-physical, there are basically two separate processes for us humans - perception and interpretation. So, you sensed the pulling (perception) in your energetic experience and then mentally associated that with your husband's placement in bed (interpretation). This is perfectly fine.

However, my warning would be NOT to over analyze (especially upon awakening from these experiences). Our biological brain (which is mostly not involved when we sleep) will over interpret and analyze upon awakening. The biological brain often becomes what might be termed "a copy of our mind" after these experiences, so not the best tool to work with. I do understand that at a deeper level that you are looking for answers, but the problem here is that the biological brain will "fill in our unanswered gaps" in our interpretations of our perceptions. Just know that this ultimately is not helpful. Does this make sense?

Since you asked, I can briefly share that I lost someone very close to me four years ago now. I did have several non-physical experiences with them during their physical death and transition. And before they left or changed or whatever that is, they finally came and spoke to me directly during sleep. I became fully lucid and fully conscious (while my body slept). I awakened afterwards into a paralyzed state. I knew this was "goodbye". It was sad and amazing at the same time. Prior to this, I could sense them around the house for about 3 weeks, but I did not have the developed skills that I have now to communicate with them. And ultimately, when their body was finally cremated, their energy and contact with our family seemed to change. I did sense them this morning when working through a home problem, but it felt different as I suggested above.

I am NOT going to suggest any books or reading. The book that I would like to suggest will not be published until September 2017 (by Frank DeMarco). However, I will mention that it will be directly related to your questions here.

So, I will suggest to do what resonates with you. If your desire is to read a book next, then do that. However, with this understood, I would not suggest pursuing out of body experiences specifically as your next step.

Instead of pursuing out of body experiences immediately, I am going to suggest that you meditate (just 15 minutes a day) if you are not currently doing that. Just "let your cork float" and if thoughts come up let them go. The goal is for meditation to reduce your resistance to "what is". This will increase the flow of your experiences (and maybe even with aspects of your husband). When these experiences do happen, write down the experience (perception) and then write down the initial impressions (interpretation). Use your feelings. If you sense your husband, use your mind to communicate any questions. Say them out loud if you want. Know also that you have your own inner help. When done with writing your interpretation, set your journal aside and do not analyze. If there is a lingering question, write it down and leave it in the journal. I have also found "clustering" helpful immediately after I experience non-physical contact. This method engages the right hemisphere of the brain, while delineated writing engages the left hemisphere. I can strongly suggest that a period of meditation will help prepare you for other experiences like OBE's, meeting your own guidance, maybe communicating with your husband, etc.

Finally, while your physical journey with your husband may have completed, know that the more expanded journey is not completed. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

[Nameless]

Hi Jen, so sorry to hear about your husband.
I see you've gotten really great responses and a lot to digest here so will just welcome you for now. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Lumaza]

 Welcome to the Astral Pulse Jen! 

I second Nameless's reply here.

  T-Man, EscapeVelocity, and Subtle Traveler did a great job with the first "contact". Just know, you have made some new friends! 

[Volgerle]

Hello Jen. Since you asked for books, here is my (short) list of recommended reading, I restricted it to one book per author:

William Buhlman - Adventures In The Afterlife
Jurgen Ziewe - Vistas Of Infinity
Kurt Leland - The Multidimensional Human
Louis Minero - Demystifying the Out-of-Body Experience: A Practical Manual for Exploration and Personal Evolution
Robert A. Monroe - Journeys Ouf Of The Body
Rick Stack - Out-Of-Body Adventures: 30 Days to the Most Exciting Experience of Your Life
Robert Bruce - Astral Dynamics
Michael Newton - Journey Of Souls
Dolores Cannon - Between Death And Life

Comments. The last two are not AP/OBE-books per se but rather based on regression hypnosis but I recommend them anyway to give an even fuller picture - although especially the first two books, Buhlman and Ziewe, also already do this quite well. Stack and Bruce are more "technical". Minero is also technical with its own rather bulky terminology, but still worth getting into. Buhlman's first book "Adventures Beyond The Body" is also recommendable if you want to learn technique. Monroe is the classic for many projectors (although not one of my favs) that is why I include it, he's the founder of the TMI institute where OBE courses are held and he also was the inventor of HemiSync for brain entrainment by sounds to have OBEs and other experiences.

I wish you all the best in your newly begun journey of discovery of the wider reality.

[JenShepwood]

oh gosh you guys, thank you!  I can't tell you how much I appreciate your taking the time to reply to my questions.  I feel really grateful that I came across this site and also very welcomed. 
For books I think I am going to start with Robert Monroe- Journey's Out of the Body and William Buhlman- Adventures in the Afterlife plus, as EscapeVelocity suggested everything on this site - I've been reading a bunch of it so far.  I'm floored by some of the things I've come across - I read a post about retrievals and while this is so beyond me right now I just can't believe this whole world that is out there which was completely unknown to me before. And then I hope to get to the other books suggested here as well.  This is a major education going on here 

EscapeVelocity - thank you for the explanation in layman's terms. That is incredibly helpful I was actually really excited when you asked about lucid dreaming and mentioned flying dreams because I have had them many, many times during my life - all with a deja vu feeling that I had been able to fly before - like maybe as a child or even in a past life or something.  Normally this would happen when things were going well in my life.  Surprisingly, considering that things aren't going so well recently, I had one a week or so ago.  Your mentioning it made me remember and it also has me wondering if my subconscious feels that something good is actually happening. And thank you attempting my questions about whether or not that was my husband. And, yes, my answer to your questions is a resounding yes! I hate to say that everything I do right now is attempting to keep that connection open because I know there should be more to my life than that but, for right now, it is what it is.  So, we will see...

Subtle Traveler - your reassurances that the loss of my husband may be a physical one but not a complete one are really comforting and I appreciate that so much.  As I'm going through this process for some reason I'm always seeking external validation and while I really know that I am the only one who can decide for myself, for some reason it just feels good to get it   And, I am listening...  I do understand what you are saying about the biological mind filling in the unanswered gaps.  I will try not to over analyze.  So hard though!  I have been documenting my dreams but hadn't actually documented any of the vibrations/sleep paralysis/energy types of things for some reason so I am now doing that as well. And, I have been meditating and I think your suggestion to do that for a while before pursuing OOBEs more specifically is smart (but if they happen, then Yay!!!) I had never meditated before and am pretty terrible at it but I keep sticking with it.  Originally I had been using binaural beats and now I'm listening to a guided visualization cd from Brian Weiss MD who is known for his books on past life regression (this is another new interest of mine.) I don't know much about meditation though - is there some form of it that you suggest or do you think anything is okay?  Also, I didn't totally understand what you meant by "clustering." If you have a moment would you be able to explain that idea a little bit more? I am REALLY looking forward to the book you mentioned that will be published in Sept.     

Okay guys, I'm rambling.  But, thank you all so much!!  If there is anything good to come out of the awful loss of my husband, I think that opening my mind has to be it and I'm excited about it. 

[Subtle Traveler]

Subtle Traveler - your reassurances that the loss of my husband may be a physical one but not a complete one are really comforting and I appreciate that so much.  As I'm going through this process for some reason I'm always seeking external validation and while I really know that I am the only one who can decide for myself, for some reason it just feels good to get it  And, I am listening...  I do understand what you are saying about the biological mind filling in the unanswered gaps.  I will try not to over analyze.  So hard though!  I have been documenting my dreams but hadn't actually documented any of the vibrations/sleep paralysis/energy types of things for some reason so I am now doing that as well. And, I have been meditating and I think your suggestion to do that for a while before pursuing OOBEs more specifically is smart (but if they happen, then Yay!!!) I had never meditated before and am pretty terrible at it but I keep sticking with it.  Originally I had been using binaural beats and now I'm listening to a guided visualization cd from Brian Weiss MD who is known for his books on past life regression (this is another new interest of mine.) I don't know much about meditation though - is there some form of it that you suggest or do you think anything is okay?  Also, I didn't totally understand what you meant by "clustering." If you have a moment would you be able to explain that idea a little bit more? I am REALLY looking forward to the book you mentioned that will be published in Sept.    

Seeing any perspective we arrive at as provisional and subject to change (or expansion) as truth reveals itself in different aspects' is an important consideration. And I am not suggesting that we 'cannot know' because of this. I simply see this process as an expansion of consciousness for each individually and the whole collectively.

My provisional perspective is that physical reality is intentionally structured (e.g., with time and space) to maintain 'our continual choosing' while we are extended here into the physical from our non-physical aspects. The 3D space reinforces the individuality or separateness we perceive. Delineated time reinforces the basic structure of "time slices" of this moment and this moment and this moment, that creates the individual perception of this decision and this decision and this decision. Get it?

I like your attitude that "if the OBE's happen ... then Yeah!". Nuff said.

Brian Weiss and his work were formative for me about 10 years ago. I mediated for years using his CD's. After a nearly 15 year experience with cancer and its lasting impact upon my body, just listening to Weiss's CD's each night for two years really helped with my healing. It is what I knew at the time. However, I have not used them to specifically meditate in nearly three years now. Eventually, I found the continual vocalization distractive during silent meditation where my focus was letting go of thought (e.g., the vocalization kept my brain too busy).

Overall, I am very familiar with the topic of past life regression (Michael Newton, Brian Weiss and others). However, I eventually found that I needed to "let go" of a lot of the past life regression language and its perceptions of what was happening during a regression. I gradually found the "interpretations" of the practice rooted in a physical perspective. I can provide two examples. First, there is not human karma, but when we transition there is a re-balancing of our energy. Second, there are not repeating lives, but there is an expansion of consciousness with each new life (which is composed of the past lives of many others).

However, I acknowledge that many people perceive help from past life regression (and I am all for this), but we now have better information directly from the non-physical about many of these things (via Frank DeMarco, the Monroe Institute, and others).

You may or may not have this experience yourself as you begin to read and explore more, but I wanted to speak up here in case you begin to experience the same dissonance that I did over the last few years. Despite the dissonance though, I still love the work of Brian Weiss and the relief that he brings people from the tyranny of religion. There are some beneficial outcomes from past life regression.

Meditation. I see meditation simply as allowing our cork to float. I recently talked a person through this on another forum, that discussion is linked below. I will share that my perspective about meditation has been heavily influenced by Abraham (Hicks) in the last two years, but Abraham provided me "a non-physical perspective about meditation" that I never had before ... even in materials from the Monroe Institute.

www.explorations-in-consciousness.com/forums/index.php?threads/shaking.5549/page-2

Note above, that there are several posts on pages 2 and 3 of of this link where I talk about meditation.

Clustering ... this is pretty straight forward ... it also has a visual

www.gabrielerico.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=77

Frank DeMarco has a web site and blog here ... you do not have to buy a book.

ofmyownknowledge.com/

If interested, you can see some of my book reviews here (including Buhlman, Ziewe, DeMarco and others). I carefully selected what I read.

www.amazon.com/gp/profile/amzn1.account.AGL5EOWICVYL46YUWI2R2XH7IUOA?ie=UTF8&ref_=cm_cr_getr_d_pdp

I have read all of Buhlman's books. He teaches you "how to" but travelers like Jurgen Ziewe write very eloquently and descriptively about their specific non-physical experiences. Buhlman likes Jurgen's work a lot. His review is above mine on Amazon.

Happy "new and expanded" adventures to you!