My worst experience

[Drift]

Hi,

Im new here to the forum. I joined because once again I feel the sense of 'growing' in my energy. I dont really understand how to word that because I dont confirm to any rigid belie of what OOBEs actualyl are so i ahve no terminology to use.

Its like I feel that i have an energy inside thats increasing, pushing at me, drawing me back to looking for something more beyond the physcal world. It happens when I have some time just in normal life, forgetting about my OOBEs and just living. I get a sense or growing energy and I start searching for something.

Anyway, now I started searching Mayan calanders, Egyptian burials, old Celtic gods and ultimately landed here. Its not the first time its happened as I said, at some points in life I just feel a growing drive inside me and it sends me off on some hectic, search for god only knows what. What I search for doest seem to be related. The last time it happened, a few years ago now i was off searching Atlantis, Japanese mysticism and the like. I just sit at the computer, crank up google and it pops into my head to go searching for something.

Ok, well I say my last was a few years ago and thats true. This has been the longest period in my life without OOBEs and I guess its due to the last one I had which scared me badly.

Ive always had them, natural and easy, sometimes too easy to start and not possible to stop.

I went to me bed as normal, a little late after playing computer games as was common during my student days. I lay in bed and the slight tingling sensation in my body that always comes before the experience hit me immediately. When I say immediately I mean within 10 seconds of laying on bed to goto sleep.
Within 15 seconds I was out, or actually half out as I was so shocked at the speed and aggressiveness of the experience. My body was typically paralysed and my mind was reeling at the whole deal.

Anyway I used my 'trick' to come back. A little ditty I learned once when I was paralysed and my mouth was against the pillow (im a little claustrohphobic soemtimes), I twist my neck quickly snapping my chin round to the shoulder and bingo I break the paralysis.

So, I then sat up nervous and still a little stunned. Ive never had trouble getting out but laying down fully awake and being yanked into that state was a shock even for me. The worst was yet to come though. I breathed a little and lay down again, and there it was again the tingling just before I slip off. So I panicked and sat up again.

This sequence went on for around 25 minutes. In the end I got up and went for a cup of tea because I was so so shaken up. I literally couldnt lay down without immediately getting hauled into the OOBE state. To say I felt out of control is under statement, I honesly wanted to cry from it thats how shaken was. I started wondering if I was dying or something, I know that seems odd but youve no idea the thoughts that spiralled through my head while trying to make logical sense of this moment.

In the end I went back to bed after my cup of tea, I lay down, all was well for around 10 minutes and then I had the oddest and most unwelcome OOBE of my life.

I went into the state from being wide awake, not trying to sleep or project, as before it just grabbed me.

The experience was full out of body only this time I wasnt in control. I was floating over the 'floor' face down and moving forwards (head first) steadily. I couldnt move a muscle, couldnt talk, couldnt do anying but watch tiles slide by, changing in hue and tone as I seemed to pass various 'rooms' although my vision was always down at the floor.

After a few rooms I saw something sitting on the floor. Really I cant describe it without it sounding highly comical but I assure you in my experience it scared me. Ill describe it as a sort of purplish spider/octopus, meaning it had a round body above with a number of legs below (i wasnt counting you understand). I was floated over the thing and then suddenly I thrust downwards, my face to its face.......and that was all I could take.

I assume I used my neck trick while trying to wrench my face away from it, but anyway I was back sitting up in bed, panicked, sweating and scared in a very cold miserable way.

As I said, its the oddest and most frightening experience I have ever had. None of the other were even similar to this in any way shape or form, Ive had 'figures' with me on waking before but I had control and the figures behaved caringly to me.

For a long time I felt my experienced were sort of 'raped' by this one night. The idea of being torn helplessly into this state and forced to endure any manner of conjuring just mortified me and since then ive never projected.

I suppose im sharing this now because when i have this feeling I know at some point im probably coming towards a time when I will start having these experiences regularly again.

Im curious, has anyone ever had what seemed like a forced experience. Having even got up and had a cup of tea before going back to bed and yet still not being able to shake off the 'state', it just left me staggered and a little bewlidered by it.That night I thought maybe I was losing my mind or something and could no longer keep hold of reality.

What are peoples thoughts on this. Believe me i know how odd it sounds, but im curious to know if anyone has ever had anything similar (not the specifics of the experience) in terms of not being able to stop themseleves achieving OOBEs?

All comments welcome

[Zante]

I've only had conscious sleep paralysis three times in my life with about 4  "RTZ" OOBEs, other experiences I can't categorize. On my first occasion it was terrifying as I didn't understand what was happening, I had my first OOBE a few seconds afterwards which definitely didn't make me feel any more secure (haha). Nonetheless, the whole experience was short lived.

The second time it happened, I had done some reading on the Astral Pulse forums and was relatively clued up on what it was but not how to "solve" it. I saw a giant black spider on my ceiling, I don't have arachnaphobia but I do dislike the big ones. It just sat there but I knew enough to know that attempting to squirm out of it wasn't going to make me feel any more comfortable. I just stared at it until it dissipated into black mist, why it did that I don't pretend to know although I had one hell of a strong desire to make it vanish. I then made a post in the astral experiences forum about it and demanded to know what these "evil" spiders from "hell" wanted from humanity (hahaha). I couldn't think of anything to do during the event so I just observed it for a bit whilst hoping it wouldn't actually move.

The third time when I had sleep paralysis, having already done hundreds of hours worth of reading on the subject, I couldn't help but "smile" in anticipation when I decided to manifest something and see how it would turn out. I wanted to experience something alien to me so I gave intent to create some sort of alien sniggering sound, it came on shortly afterwards in my right ear (left ear on the pillow), very clear, loud and "alien", it was completely outside of my perception until I heard it. It would be difficult to describe the exact sound but that's not important here. If I hadn't consciously created that event I would have been a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y terrified but because I "made" it the biggest grin swept across my face and I broke out of the paralysis. The process was so efficient and the result so...incredible (that's not enough of a word to describe the sheer awesomeness of it), it was almost hard to believe it was me "creating" it.

There's a reason I dislike reading posts entitled "my worst experience" and it's because I'm afraid I'm going to get some negative inspiration which my subconscious will feed on and decide to manifest at the least appropriate time. I tend to avoid horror movies now for the same reason ;p . In the astral experiences forum there's a group of [censored]s talking about something called the "Gray Lady". If any of them are reading this post I just want to say **** you for giving me ideas, I'm impressionable enough as it is and I don't need your ideas about how to make life more fearful for myself  .

The reason I read such posts though is because I like to think I can help in some way, even if it's just by relating to it. A friend of mine (who isn't into anything such as these forums) had an experience wherein someone clasped their hand over his mouth and stabbed him in the side of the neck, he then says he felt the blood oozing out. Imagine, for him, how terrifying it must have been, not knowing what was going on and thinking it was "real".

The way I see it, as long as you're calm and aware of your own influence over the experience you can then choose to go with it and perhaps even dictate it rather than literally choosing to be afraid. 

But I do relate, I've been at this stage for a while now too. When I lie down to sleep I get almost immediate vibrations and I also get a little worried about how little attention I've been paying to my subconscious recently, not knowing what it's going to pull out of its arse if I do fall into paralysis.

Regarding having many conscious OOBEs as though it were a reflex, not me. I am fearful of the idea and have been for a while, which is why I also stopped my energy work after my first few experiences (they started getting more and more common in shorter periods of time).

Recently though I've been trying to get back into it, but with not as much rabid attachment as I used to have. My last one was a false awakening wherein there was a sheet of paper next to my bed with the words "ARE YOU AWAKE?" written on it.

"pffft, yeah I'm awake, I can't change that chair into jelly so I..."

Woke up in bed immediately afterwards, realising the chair in question was downstairs in reality and not supposed to be in my room.

I now keep a sheet of paper next to my bed with those same words written on it and make damn sure I AM conscious of what's going on around me when I wake up.

Hmm, I'm rambling, I'll stop now.

[Drift]

Thanks for the reply. Ill give it a try next time round and see if I can exert a little more control.

I suppose thinking about it I should have known better having had plenty of experiences and much practice. The speed and involuntary nature of the experiences that night just threw me and I suppose by the time the odd purple spider event happened i was borderline paranoid and couldnt control anything.

Im looking forward to my next experience although still wary, its been so long and I do miss the whole sensation. Im lucky in having had many wonderful and stunning OOBEs and I hope ill have many more in the years to come.

I guess the moral is to try to keep perspective and stay calm.

Its weird now thinking about it, from some of the things I have seen and done in these experiences, I shouldnt really be shocked or surprised by anything but that I suppose is the nature of the beast.

Ive never manifested anything that im consiously aware of though, my experiences to mind have been very random, highly varied and in most cases wonderfully surprising if often odd!!
Well, thanks again for the post, ill beathe deep next time out and try to be grateful for the fact I dont have to try hard to engage in an experience

[blade5x]

I know what you go through.

Sometimes when I fall into SP, and make myself snap out of it, a few seconds later I'll start getting pulled back into it without any control. There was night, from about 2AM to 6:30AM, I was uncontrollable, random SP everytime I woke up and fell asleep. I had a good night though because I ended having like 5 LDs because of it.

Another night, I had one that really caught me off gaurd. I was actually trying to stay up til 4:30 (I woke up at like 3:30AM, and had to go wake someone up at 4:30AM, so I decided to try to stay awake), so I'm laying there watching a repeat basketball game since nothing better was on. Anyway, at around 4:00AM I decided to just "close my eyes so I could rest a little" - big mistake. I drift off and when I come back I'm in full-blown SP. The fluterring feeling and very loud noise accompanying was very scary. I opened my eyes, looked around briefly, saw the clock said 4:04AM, barely saw the TV - it was kind of glimpse before I was thrown back in. I felt myself floating up swaying side to side, and then I forced myself out of it because the fluttering feeling was just to much. When I broke out of it the clock said 4:05AM - amazing how much happens in such a short period of time. I laid back down and immediatly felt light fluttering and was partially paralyzed, I could sort of wiggle my body like a worm still, and I got myself out if, took and walk, and stayed awake until 4:30AM. I crashed after that no problem

[FrostyRose]

After my dad passed away, and I learned about astral projection, I became determined to experience it for myself. When I did, I continued practicing it as often as I could. I would do it when I came home after school, because then it was still light out and not as scary, (I lived alone in a big house at the time). But one night I became terrified. I just couldn't fall asleep without going out of body. In the end I gave in, slipped out of body, and just wandered up and down the hallway between my astral bedroom and the living room, too scared to go outside my house. 

I was depressed, and I began sleeping over at my friend's place, so I wouldn't have to experience the same thing again. For some reason, sleeping in a new bed helped. Or maybe I somehow programmed myself not to go out of body. I took a break from astral travel, something I deeply regret now. I would do anything to be able to go into the astral that easily, and it took a lot of hard work to be able to project again.

I like to have a goal for my projections, like a place I want to go to, or something that I would like to learn or see when I'm in the astral. This motivates me, and keeps me from just "floating around" until I fall into a dream, or return to body. A goal can be as nice and simple as practice control though. I'm still working on that one. It helps to feel secure in the astral. Perhaps learn techniques for astral self-defence?

Switching beds might work if you want to stop slipping out of body like that.