SO MAD at myself

[Ivanda]

OK, guys, I have to write this, cause this is first time when I had become lucid in the dream        Yesterday before going to sleep I repeated my affirmations that I WILL HAVE AN OBE and I WILL REMEMBER.

Slept the whole night, nothing happened. Woke up and then fell asleep again. Found myself in a  dream, fully aware. There was a woman chasing me with a gun. I`m not sure if I decided to have an OBE or just wanted to escape her, but suddenly there was a huge flash of light and I was lifting out.

Holy cow!, how powerful this excrement is! I got so scared that I screamed : " Noooo" and tried to slap myself of the face to wake up. I was in total sleep paralysis and could not move or feel a thing, but succeeded in bringing myself out for a second.  Then I was back to the same scene. I was asking the woman to shoot me, which she did. The same thing happened: huge bright light and I`m lifting out... Got all panicky and managed to wake myself, I had one arm covering my eyes, so somehow with huge effort i succeeded in moving that arm and  pinching/slapping my face until i awoke.

My last tiniest doubts are dispelled.  

But why on Earth did I spoil this amazing chance to AP?!  After all that I have read and  after all the meditation one would think that there is no fear left, but NO...    I know that I was afraid of not coming back...how silly of me...

Anyway, this was an amazing experience!!!

[Ivanda]

Major Tom,

thanks  

I thought that I had conquered my fears. I usually try projecting before falling asleep and have had many strong exit symptoms, which do not bother me anymore, but this was different. This was 100x more intense. I`m still amazed! Next time I will try to tell myself that it is OK, that nothing bad is going to happen to me...lol  I just felt kind of helpless as this immense power was pulling me up!


Woooohoooo... It is a great step forward for me. Finally I had an LD. After two months of practicing.

Happy me!

[Frank]

Hi:

Fear tends to always lurk in the background. It's never something you can conquer entirely. Fear of the unknown is quite a major, deeply ingrained fear. Only this morning I came across an instance where something happened so fast it got me very scared, very quickly and I zapped back to physical.

It was just the suddenness of the happening that took me completely by surprise. A part of your mind reacts too fast to control it and you get thrown off balance. There is always something new to encompass. Once you get over all the initial bits then you'll have more to contend with. Which is all part of the fun, of course.

Yours,
Frank

[Ivanda]

Thank you, Frank.

this experience has given me even more motivation to continue on my journey. I`m going to patiently learn how to, at least,  get around my fear if not eliminate it--it is worth it!

[Zante]

These topics are so important. They make me remember dreams I've had in the past but the fact that I read them on these boards allows me to put them in context.

In fact Ivanda I want to thank you for posting this as it triggered a memory, quite recent in fact, from before I had even taken an interest in Astral Dynamics (the genre, not the book).

I remember "waking up at night in my room" after a VERY strange dream wherein I was describing an object to myself and then a voice said something to disagree with me. I immediately began to feel very odd about the whole thing as I was surprised to find myself thinking so clearly in a dream. I'm not sure if I was what you would call lucid as I did not attempt to control the environment, but I was aware of the place that I was and realised it wasn't "normal". Just black, with a small pedestal on which the object I was describing sat (it was an apple in fact).

Next thing I knew, everything changed. I was awake and I realised I couldn't control my body at all. For the first time in my life I must have had sleep paralysis but since this was before my research I had no idea what was happening. I was rising into the air, being pulled by me head and I could damn well feel everything that was happening but being powerless to stop it I immediately let out a scream and started trying to tense every muscle in my body to regain control. A few moments later I felt myself falling back down (I could see everything as well, I could actually see everything that was happening from a first person perspective)...and then after another second I found myself lying down in bed. The first thing coming to mind being why I wasn't in the position I had thought I'd landed in (I thought I was really floating after all).

Ivanda, thank you for posting this I'm going to add this memory you've triggered into my dream diary. For some reason I'm starting to find that alot of posts in these boards are helping me to remember things I've experienced in the past and put them in proper context, I'm very excited right now as I  have never consciously projected.

[poetic_tragedy]

Thats great Ivanda! Im glad to see that affirmations work for you as well.  

This reminds me of the first time I had a conscious OBE. I did it by repeating affirmations to myself before I fell alseep. In fact, it happened almost exactly the way you described. After the affirmations, I fell asleep - nothing happened.. I got up, went to the bathroom. Went back to sleep and tada. I became aware that I was dreaming and then became aware of my state - vibrations came, loud wind, yada yada.. And out I went. It was such an invigirating experience....

Anyway, when you were striving for the OBE, did you intend to do so by becoming lucid?

[Ivanda]

Dear Zante,

Thank you for posting in this thread. In fact your post inspired me to do something I have only read abt, but was too lazy to try, namely, I have set my alarm clock to 3 am. I`m going to wake up and then go to sleep again, which hopefully will trigger an OBE or at least a lucid dream.  

Your dream is just so similar to mine. Amazing.  Feeling powerless and scared in front of the force pulling at you, even letting out a scream...hehehe...I did the same thing.  I`m pretty much convinced that u had a lucid dream, even though u did not try to control it in any way. U just did not have the intention to do it (just like me), but becoming aware in this state is the determinant of a lucid dream, I guess.

Good luck, Zante!
Love,

I.

[Ivanda]

poetic_tragedy,

So u had an OBE that time? U actually went out? Were u not scared?

U know, frankly, I did not believe that I could achieve LD, so I`m really kicked about my experience. And, answering your question, I did not wish for an OBE or even think about it when I became lucid. It just happened on its own. Of course, I am thinking a lot abt it every day and while meditating, so my subconscious must be well conditioned.    

Something  is really weird though--when I saw the woman with a gun pointing it at me, I was not at all scared of her, I even requested her to shoot me; however, it appeared like I'm trying to escape whatever was going to happen and that`s what triggered my OBE. The more I think about it, the more it looks like a setup...almost like I and that woman were acting out a play. On the previous evening I had requested my spirit guide to help me, so maybe that`s how she/he tried to help me out. Hmmm... I wish I knew the answer.

Love,
Ivanda

[Zante]

More information I want to add to this.

This was during a phase in recent life when I was extremely active in my prayer to God and Jesus. Every night I would beg for a message to come to me in a dream regarding some problems I was having to the point I actually shed tears. These were prayers in which I really put an emotional investment and believed something would happen. I guess it did, only I happened to be fully conscious during the exit stage and frightened myself stupid. Yes I'm aware we project every night subconsciously but we are hardly ever aware of it so it may or may not have been just a coincidence.

[Timothy Yuen]

Okay...y'all have just triggered a memory related to both your experiences.  It was about seven years ago.  I was having a dream about escaping from a nuclear holocaust (speeding down the highway with my family) when the dream was suddenly interrupted.  The dream immediately vanished and was replaced by a small dark "room" with a simple wooden table in it.  It was illuminated somehow, but everything else was a luminous blackness (if that makes sense).  On the table was a small picture of Jesus, very much like an Eastern Orthodox style icon.  I thought this pretty strange since I had attended a church maybe once or twice did not have any particular devotion to Jesus (though I'd always had some sort of affinity to him that's difficult to explain).  A voice said to me, "We are going to show you something tomorrow night."  I proceeded to forget the whole event until the next night.

I woke up in the middle of the night (not sure what time), and felt myself floating up out of my body.  A primal sort of fear set in and all I could think was, "I'm dying.  I don't want to die."  I just kept repeating, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die."  Soon I blacked out and the next thing I remember was sitting straight up in bed, looking at the ceiling and heard a distinct voice say, "We don't need you anymore."  That voice has stayed with me for the last seven years and I haven't really known what it meant.  At that point I recalled the dream interruption from the night before.

What "they" were going to show me, I'm not really sure.  It probably wasn't that I could project since I had been projecting spontaneously (if sporadically) all my life (though I didn't know what it was).

[wisp]

MajorTom,
Could you explain more about your statement?

There is ofcourse the symbol in the sense that getting shot is pretty good guarentee for OBEing  

This IS fairly common in people's dreams! Will you explain more on this?

Will you explain your take about symbology. I read some of what you have said about it, it's not clear to me.

Thanks in advance.