if OBE's are...

[Gabe911]

if OBE's are hard to verify, then how can one be sure about meeting the deceased through OBE's rather than being the projection of one or another's mind?

[Xanth]

The verification of all of these types of experiences is only a personal one.
There are ways to provide verification for other people... but I don't think that should be the goal of anyone.  You shouldn't have to prove the veracity of OBEs to anyone but yourself.

As for how you can tell the difference between an actual being and a projection of your own mind?
You can ask them questions... you can ask them to see if they can tell you something that you can bring back to verify, as in something you didn't know that you can ask someone else if it was true.

In the end though, I wouldn't question the experience too much... doing go into too much detail about the experience.  Some might disagree with me, but I think that would ruin it.  You'll have a good sense by experiencing it that what you're experiencing is something real or something created by your subconscious.  You'll just "know".  And if you don't outright know for certain... just assume it was real. 

[Killa Rican]

There's other ways to commune with the deceased aside from APing. But xanth is right, Something like that is very personal. There could be some instances where they are constructs..Other Times they really are sending a message. It depends on how one "Connects the dots".