July 20, 2009 [10:35 pm]

[T.L.]

  Laid down earlier to take a nap before work, was tired from doing work over my aunts house. I laid down and relaxed then attempted to project. I was so tired I fell asleep. I woke up some time later and remembered not to move, it seems the vibrations were so intense it jolted me out of sleep. I did a few mental exercises (math) to see if I was entirely awake and I was. The vibrations and the energy was just so strong I knew I could separate if I tried. I thought about moving up and out, but I didn't.

   So I pushed off my bed and looked up, I felt heavy and I looked around, could see everything perfectly. I felt like I was supporting my physical body with my arms and thought damn it I'm moving my physical body so I laid back down thinking I screwed it up by moving physically. Then the frustration that set it made the vibrations fade away. I couldn't get them back so I sat up and thought about it only to realize I didn't really move physically then that made me really frustrated heh. I wouldn't know what you would call that, some would say it is a false awakening. I wouldn't go that far though because I was already awake before trying to get out. Anyway I felt so damn physical that even with all my mental faculties working perfectly I could not tell the difference between being physical and being out of the body, time and time again I am fooled into thinking Im physically sitting up because sometimes I must be getting out so close to the physical realm that it in turn makes me feel more physical while out.

   Anyway when the vibrations were going I felt so much energy coursing through me it was ridiculous almost stronger then the strongest I've ever felt, which hasn't been for a very long time. Usually, at least lately, the vibrations and energy hasn't been as strong. The only thing I can think of that I did differently today was I planted plants for my aunt. This may sound weird but perhaps being around or taking care of plants perhaps imparts some kind of energy into yourself, perhaps like you are absorbing some of it's energy. I never thought about energy raising before and never thought there was a need to but just maybe there is something to it that could help. All I know is that today for whatever reason I felt a rush of strong energy, and felt more energetic while trying to get out than usual. If I hadn't been tricked into thinking I was moving physically it would have been an interesting experience I am sure.

[NEW_Anna]

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[T.L.]

   What I normally do when Im thinking and don't jump to conclusions is I will stick my hand on whatever is closest (like the wall next to the bed). Then I will concentrate on my hand penetrating the wall if it does obviously I know Im out. However during these times sometimes you just wont question it, you seem so damn physical you instantly think you sat up physically. I don't know how many times I've done this but it is a lot. One time I got up off the couch thinking I physically got up. Then I said "oh well Ill have to try again, while Im up I might as well go smoke".  Then I got to the hallway near the front door and I started to feel weird like wading through water... I stopped and thought could I be ummm out. So rather than make the walk (I take it slow rather than flying all the time) all the way back to the couch to see if my physical body was there, I put my hand on the railing and sure enough my hand went right through it.

  If this was like a once in a while thing it wouldn't bother me so much but it happens way too often. It does make me worry about death in a way, because we might die and not even realize it and Im sure this state could go on a while before a person [who isn't all there] would realize it. I'm just going to have to tell myself if I think I got up physically to test it out no matter how sure I am that I have sat up physically. I remember my first conscious exit OBE, if it wasn't for the fact I saw my physical counterpart laying on the couch I would have never known I was out of the body in the first place. When I stood up I noticed I felt differently/odd, and physical movement felt a little odd but everything seemed so clear and solid I had no idea until I went to lay back down and seen myself already laying down heh.