Bulldozing into the Astral

[TheLunatic]

Well that is an interesting story.

As far as wither or not you should be trying to use that method I don't really think anyone can give you a simple yes or no answer. I'm sure that everyone has an opinion on such things but unless they have tried it and gone down that particular path to its end I don't think they would be qualified to give you a correct answer.

I would say that it's been my experience that when I have used destructive energy and visualization in my own life that while it has been very effective it also tends to be very harmful to ones own body and health.

As far as if you are going crazy goes. You might be... but then again what is sane? I think a lot of people would consider all of us to be insane. Does it really matter? I don't think so.

If you can function in this world and hold a job than you're sane enough.

Sanity is over rated anyway... boring and uneventful.

[Randomacity]

A couple weeks ago I was thinking about something the astral.  If we're able to enter it during certain periods of meditation/sleepiness then the link between worlds might be present at all times.  Somehow the state of mind you're in allows you to tap into that link.  And if that's true, it might be possible to tear through into the astral using force of will alone.  Find that thread between planes, pull on it hard enough and see what happens, was basically my thought process at the time.

When I sat down to do it I cleared my mind, then did this "mind loosening" thing that I just started doing one day and have done often ever since.  I'm not trained in any way for any of this stuff, although I have managed to AP on a few different occasions (doing traditional body asleep/mind awake vibration deals).  I just kind of wing it usually.  It seems like the instructions people give have built-in safe-guards and roadblocks - so after I get a feel for what I'm trying to accomplish, I just kind of skip those intermediary steps.  i look for the simplest way from A to B, but anyways.  "Mind loosening" is just me shaking around my consciousness until it's fluid-like I'm able to sense things outside myself or meditate.  Imagine your consciousness as a big bubble that's bouncing around your brain.  Normally it's quite content hanging around in your skull, but you can give it a little nudge here and there - expand it, contract it, hell, shoot it throughout the universe if you want.  That's basically what "mind loosening" is.

After the loosening, that I just kind of felt out where the astral meets our reality.  Easier than you might think if you know what you're looking for.  As for where I was physically (metaphysically?), I have no clue.  I had the impression I was around the edges where these dimensions converge; wherever I happened to be, there wasn't much going on to sight-see.  After I found it I tried to tear my way in by force of will, focusing my consciousness into a myriad of different implements.  I attempted bashing, cutting, splitting, essentially throwing energy at this wall.  I did this for five, maybe ten minutes, and not much was happening.  Then I started visualizing the break was an actual wall, an enormous black wall, almost invisible.  This sounds odd, but in my mind I could feel my hands searching around it, looking for a weakness.  I can remember how cold and smooth it felt, even now.  After I'd decided I'd found a weak point (however I did that, I have no idea), I drew up every scrap of energy I had and focused on that specific point.  I was devoted to breaking through this wall, and for a little while, a couple minutes or so, I could feel myself getting through.  It wasn't a pleasant breaking either, like the force of a tornado concentrated into a space the size of your fist.  Use whatever word you like: tearing, obliterating, annihilating, devouring.  Ever feel energy being devoured, torn apart?  This is what was happening.  Of course, like an idiot, I just kept going.  I wanted to see if I could do it.

Here's where it got interesting.  This next part all happens in the space of maybe six seconds, tops, but I'll slow it down for descriptive purposes.  I don't think I was anywhere close to boring a hole through, but I could sense the energy on the other side.  Suddenly everything stops, freeze frame.  I'm not in the same place I was before.  I see a gray wall, with a throne or high-backed stone chair of some sort jutting out of the wall, but smoothly connected to the main wall structure.  But oh wait, there's a man sitting in that throne.  He was all robes slightly darker than the wall/throne, except for his head, which was a dark red in color, with slightly exaggerated features.  I didn't pick up any anger, humor, or much of anything from him.  Mild annoyance would be the strongest vibe I sensed.  Like "Oh, another one of these" then a couple seconds later I'm smacked back into my body.  This all happened so fast that I couldn't react to anything.  The re-entry was also kind of interesting, imagine over-exposing film while driving down the highway.  In English, you could probably equate that to the hundreds of different "warp speed" scenes in sci-fi movies, where you see the stars, then the jump to warp speed causes them to streak by leaving white scars of light on the background.  I use "smacked" back into my body not out of metaphor, it was a definite rough landing, as the back of my head will attest when it hit the wall behind it and I was sitting back in my room.

Some side effects: I was totally burned out for the next couple days, and now that I think about it, the weird experiences I've been having lately (posted under "Messing Around" or something like that in the Metaphysics board) did seem to start soon after my astral hangover wore off.  So I'm either becoming a schizophrenic with a wild imagination, or I tapped into something during this experiment.

So, after reading this, what are your thoughts?  Granted, it's eight-hundred pages long, but I thought it would better to fully describe the experience than write "i tink i broke sumtin in da astral, i saw a red man when i tryed to brake into da astral."  Anyone ever try this before?  Should I even be trying to do this (note: I haven't tried it again since then)?  If you think I'm imaging this up, was it least an interesting read?  Any thoughts would be appreciated, been a wild few weeks as my Metaphysics forum post will attest to.

Additional note: I debated adding this because it adds to the "I'm crazy and becoming schizophrenic" theory, but it might have some relevance, so here it goes.  I'd heard about guardian angels/spirits before, and (at least) I think I'd been able to sense it's presense around me.  Lately however, I can feel her (more on this later) all the time.  I don't have to be meditating, projecting, or anything special.  It's like we're linked, she's kind of amused I'm writing this.  For instance, I know it's a she, and she can be really elusive and evasive,  but in a practical joking way - like she gets  a big kick out of it.  When I think about trying this experiment again, she gets expressly worried.  I can also communicate with her, but the answers aren't heard or even thought out in voice.  I ask a question, and I get a response, but it all comes in a split-second.  Almost before I've completely formed my thought the answer is there.  But her energy/soul/vibe is expressly different from mine, so unless I've splintered my psyche into multiple personalities, I don't know what's going on.  She seems intent on helping and protecting me, just another odd occurence in a string of odd occurences, so I don't think about it too much anymore.  I should probably seek psychiatric counseling.