Stuck at the threshold for years

[Loerie]

Hello everyone - this is my first message here - I hope it's in the right place. Your expertise and caring energy is appreciated - thanks for providing this wonderful resource. I will read more as I get time. Here's where I am:

In 2008 I had a spontaneous satori, and I fell into what Kepple calls focus 4. That place where everything is one, and all is connected. Formless love. Being, wisdom and understanding itself. I see it as the seed of the universe tree, and here on the physical we are but the leaves. For two weeks I was in total samadhi, as if lucid dreaming and wide awake day and night. For a year I was in both realities, here and other, deeper here, in and out in waves. Later it all settled down. I naturally became interested in all things spiritual, including the astral reality.

I got a book called A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming by Dylan Tuccillo and others, and I tried really really hard for about a year or three, with almost no success, so I gave up, but it was there in the background. Recently it has appeared on my inner radar again, and I can feel it cooking.

A few nights ago (weeks) I had the vibrations, much more intensely than normal, and I knew what they were, so I surrendered and let it kill me. I separated, feet first, and found myself in a dream house, where I went to the mirror and saw my face. "My hair looks a bit longer. Interesting." I went to the lounge and saw my guitar, and fell onto the couch - an old couch i had years ago. I got really excited, "I'm out! I'm out!" (I know, newbie stuff! and physically stimulated to the point of getting turned on - and snap - I was back in my body.

I've been trying really, really hard for about three weeks now. I know I'm trying too hard. I'm losing a lot of sleep, and can't seem to pop out. I can feel I'm on the threshold - really close - and I'm blocking myself somehow. I've read a lot, and listened to a lot of advice. A lot. I've tried multiple exit techniques, and I'm a long time meditator, so relaxing is like breathing for me. When I meditate I just go quiet. I don't think, I don't focus, I just be. It's wonderful - a kind of low grade samadhi, and it follows me through life. My whole life has become a meditation, and it's no longer a practice for me. I have grown in insight and understanding in incredible ways, and my heart has opened wide - and now this astral thing seems to be knocking on the door. I am excited to explore - but I'm getting in my own way. I just can't get out of the body.

I think part of the problem is that I'm so attuned to the energy system in the physical body. After a big car accident I had a lot of work to do in that area, and it has become my default to do the cellular healing thing. It keeps me in the body.

Kepple's phasing makes sense to me. I read his stuff and listened to it on youtube as well. I know it's the way - so my focus has been trying not to actually leave the body, separate with vibrations, but just phase. I've tried incorporating Active Imagination (from Jung), I've tried ladders, ropes, swimming, wobbling, wriggling, floating, rolling, flying, dropping, popping, sniffing, farting my way out - but no go. I tried giving up and letting it happen. I tried fighting hard and not giving up. I tried giving up and not giving up at the same time. I tried ignoring the sign posts and focusing on the destination. I think I want to stop trying altogether, so this whole message is a kind of "someone please pull me out already and tell me what I'm messing up."

Thanks!

[Adrian]

Hello everyone - this is my first message here - I hope it's in the right place. Your expertise and caring energy is appreciated - thanks for providing this wonderful resource. I will read more as I get time. Here's where I am:

Kepple's phasing makes sense to me. I read his stuff and listened to it on youtube as well. I know it's the way - so my focus has been trying not to actually leave the body, separate with vibrations, but just phase. I've tried incorporating Active Imagination (from Jung), I've tried ladders, ropes, swimming, wobbling, wriggling, floating, rolling, flying, dropping, popping, sniffing, farting my way out - but no go. I tried giving up and letting it happen. I tried fighting hard and not giving up. I tried giving up and not giving up at the same time. I tried ignoring the sign posts and focusing on the destination. I think I want to stop trying altogether, so this whole message is a kind of "someone please pull me out already and tell me what I'm messing up."

Thanks!

Welcome to the Astral Pulse Loeri.

I really like your sense of humour and dedication, which is a great way to approach life generally. Here you will find the resources you need to succeed, and experienced members who are always willing to advise.

Over the years I have seen numerous people fail at AP/OBE due to lack of patience. They start out with a method, try it for a couple of days, before moving to another method out of frustration, and so on before giving up altogether.

Your desire to achieve this, is, in and of itself, a good start, and just know that you can and will succeed.

Frank Kepples posts on phasing is great place to start, practice and focus on, as it is well documented, proven, and also brings other benefits as well. But like other things worth achieving, it requires dedication, focus and patience, but the rewards and benefits more than justify it.

You can find detailed information about Phasing on Xanth's webpage:

An Easy Guide and a Step By Step Book on Astral Projection

Here you also view/download Xanth's excellent book:

What is Astral Projection, and How To Do It

Also, over a couple of decades ago there was a member, Frank Kepple, who was an expert and highly accomplished at Phasing, who most generously shared a considerable amount of knowledge here on the forum, which can be viewed/downloaded here:

Frank Kepple Phasing Posts

If you have any questions, members here are always happy to help.
.

[Loerie]

Thanks for the reply and the encouragement. I will check out the links to see if there's anything hiding there that I've missed.  I'm also mining the posts here and finding all the roadblocks I've encountered so far - reaffirming that we're all just different skin cells on the same living body. I feel like I should have had all this Astral business down by age 13 - like I know it all already, somewhere in my hinterbrain - but oh well - the Great Cosmic Joker has its sense of humor too! 

[tides2dust]

Good morning Loerie,

Welcome to the Astral Pulse. I really enjoyed reading your writing.

I would like to share my personal belief, where I sit currently with matters of Heart and Spirit.

I feel a similarity to your experiences- what really interest me is that like you, I had quite an episode in 2008.

Though I've had OBE's before, meditative states before- something truly incredible happened that year. Well, it's now 2025 and I still don't have all the answers.

But I believe your experience wasn't just spontaneous. I call mine an initiation. Something greater than myself, invited me into the experience of samadhi. There was nothing I did, consciously, and what I guess I am saying is- 2008 was quite a year for many people on a spiritual path. As if some force stirred something in so many.

Recognizing this energy as a personality did not come immediately. Only 10 years later did I receive even clearer answers to my experience.

My thoughts are, this lifetime is short in the grand scheme of things. I truly believe in a progressive spirit- an evolution of the soul. You might feel differently about the nature of soul, especially considering your samadhi experiences. My feelings are, there is more to learn. As it has been said, more to unlearn. An entire world, reality and a continuation beyond this. And 100 years is nothing compared to that.

But in this life, I acknowledge having been initiated by a Living, Loving Guiding Force. That I am being shown, over time, and I am able to experience- like you, moments of peace and unity. Insights towards etheric matters offer themselves to me, if I am wise enough to feel and observe. And even that is not everything.

If I can be so bold. I believe we are being guided. There is an active partnership happening. The relationship is Now, is Alive. I have loved this word choice... an "Eternal career." As we've experienced, that intelligence extends beyond our immediate life. And reading your post, I don't think you're as stuck as you imagine. Even now, you are actively receiving guidance and gifted insight into a greater reality than simply exiting a sleeping body.

In this life, I am making the relationship more real... I give Faith that I may even meet the One who initiated me in 2008. In ways, this being shows me they are still present in my life. In other ways, I am still so identified to the immediate host body and unable to perceive this Being in their splendor. And that's OK... We are here for a reason. Living this particular life, our unique expression, for a reason. And, I have a feeling even after this Life, that this Loving being will continue to guide me and bring me even closer with new insights, and understanding not derived from this world or what I think I know to be true.

You have a solid head on your shoulders, and have even seemed to come to some resolve by your own rumination. That moment in 2008 was a gift, a dipping our toes in the waters. You aren't giving up by acknowledging your invitation. That's what I think it was. An invitation...  There is a Loving Force guiding you even Now, in this Life and After.

I am happy to see all of Gods blessings in your life. If you're feeling stuck, perhaps you can try to acknowledge this force as present and recognize the many ways you are being guided. Recognize to see, in the ordinary, the extraordinary. To feel and to know. And to Move and Act accordingly. I believe that is a part of Spiritual Evolution, and OBE's will offer themselves to you... Not just when you lay your head to rest.

Best of luck Divine Friend.

[Loerie]

Dear tides - ok if I call you "tides?"

Thank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt message. It contains a genuine interest and a lovely sentiment, and I accept it gratefully and wholeheartedly in that way. I can see you are coming from a good place, and I reflect that as it is. May I reply to some of your thoughts?

Firstly, yes, 2008 ...  Words are utterly inadequate. The person who went in never came out again.

Let's just say it was a bit more than an invitation. If it were an invitation, then there was no name on the card, no event described, no start time and no venue, and I finally knew, in a moment of shock, just how and why the blank space on the front was my name. I knew that the blank venue was here, and the blank time was now. I accepted, RSVP'd, attended and thoroughly enjoyed it immediately and simultaneously, and it hasn't ended yet. I have been unwrapping, clarifying, wondering, gasping, and writing about it since 2014, and I've barely covered the first five minutes.

I don't see it as a personality. It's not a "thing." I see it as the wellspring of personality. All personalities. It is that by means of which all personalities are expressed, and more nicely, that which knows the expressions.

For me it is even more than divine guidance. To be guided, there must be two: One as the guide, the other as a tourist. I am simultaneously the guide and the tourist, as well as the landscape, the photo and the cap from the gift shop at the gate, the wildlife, the bus of Chinese tourists, and.. - well you get the picture. Yet my focus is this locus of perception. (A locus is a location that can move). I can't eat your dinner, and your bills don't come in my mail - yet I am you and you are me. It's a matter of diving closer to the center of the sphere, or swimming on the surface. Make sense? If not, I will try again.

It's a focus locus hocus pocus show!  Ha ha ha! Where the hell did that come from?

I make light of it. (pun intended) But it carries a sense of sacredness and awe - in the most lighthearted, wise, exuberant, sober and insightful way.

No my dear tides, thank you for your wonderful heart, you may have misunderstood me. I may have misled you with my post header. In a big way, I can never be truly stuck again.

Astral projection is stuck, that's all. This body-mind wants to unstick it now to enlarge the playground.

It will unstick when it's good and ready. I'm here to play with it more, learn, try, fail, and succeed because I enjoy it.

And yes, divine friend, I know God's blessings in my life. It is my life. The whole shitshow of it all - is a blessing. And o yes, I can't agree more - the ordinary is the extraordinary. Utterly inexplicable, mysterious, those tiny details, like moss, bees wings and bird feathers. To feel and to know, as you say! Wonderfully put. Bless you. I concur.

May peace follow you like a shadow, may insight mug you in the alley, may love steal your umbrella and shower on your head!

Thanks for taking the time to write, tides. I appreciate your energy.

[EscapeVelocity]

Welcome to the Astral Pulse, Loerie

Your post makes clear that you have a fairly good understanding of the projection process, either by etheric exit or by Phasing. You suspect some form of blockage and that is very possible at any point. I am still dealing with occasional lack of vision in various levels and situations.

Besides the good advice already given, I would like to add certain fundamental points that can be overlooked or forgotten:

A proper and defined Intent is almost always required. It's not like the Physical Reality where you can just walk outside and take a look around. You need to have a purpose, question, person, place or thing to go visit or to engage in a lesson, and you have to express that Intent fairly clearly. You might ask to meet a Guide or ask for assistance from an Invisible Helper in order to exit. You might discover that you are in an environment and wonder what you are supposed to do, which might mean you have been placed within a teaching simulation that has been prepared for you personally, in which case you can simply ask the environment 'Why am I here and what am I supposed to learn?' You might have an Intent to visit the Akashic Library. A great default Intent is to simply ask mentally to be shown the next best experience for your learning. So, Intent is always important.

Limiting Beliefs- Most of us like to think we have left our fears behind, but it is likely there are still some lingering doubts just under the surface about things like What is actually out there? and Can I be in danger? or Do I really believe I can do this? or do I have the ability? A very talented Monroe practitioner, Bruce Moen in his book on Afterlife Knowledge, said that if you suspect you may be blocked, then you likely are. He described a light, meditative process of just asking mentally What Inner Aspect of mine is holding me back and why? It is okay to simply imagine the inner conversation to get the ball rolling and explore what issue(s) might arise. Maybe you get nothing the first try, then just use the session to reset some Affirmations asking and giving yourself permission to explore the Non-Physical Realities; affirm that you are safe and protected, etc. If you do discover an inner limiting belief, then have a conversation with that aspect of yourself to find out why it has that belief. Thank your aspect for carrying that belief but explain that the belief is no longer needed and that your instruction is to release the belief and replace it with a new belief that supports the new behavior you are expecting. This technique is worthy of exploring and best of all, it's free!

Affirmations- These, I found out many decades ago, are very necessary and vital to success. Use two or three affirmations at a time for several weeks before changing them. Keep them simple, present-tense and positively-worded...like these:

I am safe and protected when I explore out-of-body
I give myself permission to have out-of-body experiences
I ask my Higher Self for permission and assistance in exploring out-of-body
I would like the assistance of my Guides and Invisible Helpers in exploring out-of-body

Mix and match, come up with what personally resonates with you. Repeat them every night and before every session.

Energy Work/Chakras- any type of energy work is clearly beneficial, since everything IS energy (including us) and this is very apparent in the NPRs, so it is essential to get the energy flow moving. The brief OBE you described read like a good example of that energy- early OBEs are often powered by the second or Sacral chakra which relates to our sexual organs and that stimulation is apparent and can also result in a quick, unintended return to the Physical. As you progress, the energy centers powering an OBE or Phasing will gradually move higher, ideally moving to the Heart chakra and noticing stimulation in the higher centers. Laying on the floor and having a friend hold a pendulum over each chakra can show which are active and which may be underactive or even dormant.

These are some ideas and resolving any single issue may unlock your experiences. More than likely, it will take some work in all these areas, but these are the basics that I have found. Good luck!

EV   

[Loerie]

Thank you very much for the reply, EV.

I can see that you are looking at it from a place of experience. I will take your advice in that spirit, knowing full well that an intellectual understanding is peanuts compared to living experience.

I hear you. A part of me is so comfortable with energy work, blockages and the whole terrain that the other, real, living part is a bit weighed down - like you say, we think we've transcended fear, until we try something new that's real. (surprise!) I will take your pointers to heart and give it my authentic best. I honestly think I've just been taking it all a bit too seriously - despite my attempts at humor in the posts here.  The limiting belief I will explore most deeply is "do I have the ability?" That may be the one - but I will explore others as well. Thank you.

Anyway, it's almost bed time here, and I am looking forward to it. I will continue reading and learning again, hopefully with some progress, but if not, so be it, I will continue regardless.

May the force be with you.

[tides2dust]

Hi Loerie,

Yes. You can call me tides, or dust if you think it appropriate.    Maybe one day I'm an old dusty grump? It certainly has been a long day for me.

And sweet dreams if you're still not in bed yet. Joyous adventures. But if you're reading this after the fact, good morning to you. 

Yes... I believe I understand what you're saying,

For me it is even more than divine guidance. To be guided, there must be two: One as the guide, the other as a tourist. I am simultaneously the guide and the tourist, as well as the landscape, the photo and the cap from the gift shop at the gate, the wildlife, the bus of Chinese tourists, and.. - well you get the picture. Yet my focus is this locus of perception. (A locus is a location that can move). I can't eat your dinner, and your bills don't come in my mail - yet I am you and you are me. It's a matter of diving closer to the center of the sphere, or swimming on the surface. Make sense? If not, I will try again.

This has been an anchor for my beliefs and divine guidance. I seem to have some form of Sufi influence, possibly from another life, possibly from a Divine Friend beyond the veil... Maybe both. And that philosophy, as it has been taught to me- is to recognize the One in the All. "Forms are many, Soul is One." And this has been a part of my core even before 2008, my invitation.

Only now, all these years later do I truly consider personalities in unique ways(like communicating with color, or belonging to group energies and personalities greater than our little selves, even considering the all that is as a personality). I believe there are forms, worlds and realities that extend beyond this. And I recognize I have been guided, with events too grand to (consciously) orchestrate and indicators that would acknowledge this relationship. I've even received direct transmissions, with names and forms that I'd have no clue actually meant something until looking them up. I also admit, though I've had samadhi like moments, there is still so much I am fearful of and needing to work through.

And, maybe that's why I've been invited/initiated...

Wherever you are, is fine with me. Your words are beautifully stated and you have a creative talent I can appreciate.
In writing to you, you were helping bring me back to an ability that connects me to the present/presence in a way that allows me to loosen my grip(locally speaking/where my awareness is anchored) and feel in communion with that Loving guidance. And, I think this is a type of out of body. Maybe the lessons I am learning here can be carried over into the nightly practice.

<3 Cheers 

[Loerie]

Thanks Tides. It's just after 3 in the morning, and its a wake back to bed kind of moment, so I'm flowing with that. What better way to do it than here, mining the forum?

Another interesting one tonight - I tried briefly to pop out, wasn't happening, so I tried following some of EV's advice, questioning the great mamma black screen universe about what was holding me back. Then I just called it an early one and fell asleep, only to be woken up a while ago by another bout of strong vibrations and deafening sounds. Weirdly, I remember clearly letting it happen and being curious about it, though kinda dismissive, but somehow through that cacophony I was still not awake enough to attempt an exit. I think I must have moved and woken up more fully, only to realize - hey! I might be in the "phase." So I tried to stop moving and exit, but no, so after a while I got up to check my messages. 


I wasn't expecting the vibrations / sounds to actually happen during deep sleep? Its a question I guess. 


O well. I'm happy anyway. I'll try again in a minute.

Yes - I feel a connection with the Sufi way as well.

One of the things I love about them is their way of using stories as a device for spiritual awakening. Those kinds of stories come to me sometimes. I think fiction is a way to tap into our other brain areas, rather than reading rational non-fiction to clarify spiritual truths - much like AP I guess.

I'm glad you're feeling present and in communion with that loving guidance. I agree - in body-out of body, mind, body emotion spirit - all of it - it's one grand continuum, like the toes, fingernails, liver and eyes of one big cosmic joker! 

[Adrian]

Welcome to the Astral Pulse, Loerie

Affirmations- These, I found out many decades ago, are very necessary and vital to success. Use two or three affirmations at a time for several weeks before changing them. Keep them simple, present-tense and positively-worded...like these:

I am safe and protected when I explore out-of-body
I give myself permission to have out-of-body experiences
I ask my Higher Self for permission and assistance in exploring out-of-body
I would like the assistance of my Guides and Invisible Helpers in exploring out-of-body

Mix and match, come up with what personally resonates with you. Repeat them every night and before every session.

Yes absolutely, this is an excellent point. Ultimately success with AP/OBE/Phasing etc. as with most things, is to impress the intent and desire upon the subconscious mind, with affirmations and/or imagination, which the subconscious mind will then bring to experience.

The affirmations and/or application of imagination will vary between OBE, where you would typically affirm before sleep to be awoken later that night in a projected state, and phasing where you are affirming that when you relax in a certain place, position, posture etc., you will immediately go into a deep meditative with full focus etc.. This is in addition to EV's suggestions. Ultimately you will want to formulate your own affirmations and or imagination in accordance with own situation, objectives etc..

[Loerie]

Thanks for that as well Adrian. Heard and understood. I will pay attention to intention and subconscious messaging.

So far it's just signposts - mostly auditory. I can pick out at least four different ringing tones, besides the big sound that makes you think you're going deaf. I'm used to the ringing - it has been a companion, though single tone, since 2008. It fades until I do this kind of work. Last couple of weeks it has been strong. Baby steps. Progress.

Am I right in saying that the knack is something like finding the right level of interest / engagement? If you're too into it, it blows out. If you're not into it enough, it eludes you? For instance, this morning the jet engine woke me, but somehow I didn't wake up into it enough - maybe I was getting too cocky or not enough interest? It's bloody slippery! 

[Adrian]

Thanks for that as well Adrian. Heard and understood. I will pay attention to intention and subconscious messaging.

Am I right in saying that the knack is something like finding the right level of interest / engagement? If you're too into it, it blows out. If you're not into it enough, it eludes you? For instance, this morning the jet engine woke me, but somehow I didn't wake up into it enough - maybe I was getting too cocky or not enough interest? It's bloody slippery! 

The best approach is with no preconceptions at all, with a blank mind and simply a feeling of expectation. There really is no "too into it" or "not enough", just follow your inner feelings, wherever they guide you. And never "try" to project or phase. As Yoda said in Star Wars V, "do or do not, there is no try".

[Loerie]

  Thanks

[omcasey]

I've tried multiple exit techniques, and I'm a long time meditator, so relaxing is like breathing for me. When I meditate I just go quiet. I don't think, I don't focus, I just be. It's wonderful - a kind of low grade samadhi, and it follows me through life.

Well, I do enjoy hearing THIS .....hello, Loerie, I am enjoying your discussion.

As one who came to the fully conscious shift as a spiritual student, in part via meditation I may be able to say something helpful. But, so that I understand a bit better than otherwise I have questions. Your meditation practice: is it 1) formal? daily? both solo and in groups? or 2) casual. intermittent. wherever you happen to be. Is it more generally SILENT sitting meditation? or some other form of meditation? In the level of the being-state you reach what is your most notable observation?

I ask relative to potentially addressing this:

"Someone please pull me out already and tell me what I'm messing up."

As perhaps only another life-long meditator might.


Good to meet you!


Casey

[omcasey]

In writing to you, you were helping bring me back to an ability that connects me to the present/presence in a way that allows me to loosen my grip(locally speaking/where my awareness is anchored) and feel in communion with that Loving guidance. And, I think this is a type of out of body. Maybe the lessons I am learning here can be carried over into the nightly practice.

Ahhh young Master, you do make me smile.

Yep.

[Loerie]

Hi OmCasey thanks for your interest.

I am getting the suspicion that I've worded my initial query far too strongly. As I get to know the people here, I think I approached it with a bit too much force - but so we learn each moment.

So meditation is none of the above for me. I've never had a formal teacher, besides the universe and my life. It just lightninged its way in one night in 2008. It refined and got much simpler. I've never been to a group or a satsang, or a retreat. There's no practice anymore, no method anymore, all that fell away a long time ago - now its just being.

What is my most notable observation?

"..observation...ation... tion...." the echoes recede and the blank space on the page goes silent... the observer observes the observed observing the observer observing the observed... erved... erved....

As waves of wonder cascade around the auditorium, the crowd disappears, the curtains melt, the stage disappears and wonder escapes through the roof into the great beyond, but never moves an inch...

erm.. um. Observation? I don't really know!

Meditation is me. It is now. It just is - all this - in the sense of your "I am!" at the bottom of your page. I suspect that I may get where you are - of course i've just met you on a cryptic message, so maybe not -  I'm in a similar place perhaps - who knows, right? Nowhere. Here, now. It started back then for me, and it hasn't gone anywhere. I haven't gone anywhere. Life has moved, of course, as it does, because it is alive. All this talk about it is a bit pointless, isn't it? Even so - sharing makes it bright and clear, makes it relatable, and makes it a celebration - so let's share it, no?

Astral projection was skipped over in my case, early in the journey. It came to me, but I didn't pursue it back then. Now I feel like playing with it, exploring the terrain I skipped before, so I'm learning the ropes from more experienced wayfarers. i think I'm absorbing the right information and vibes here. Life will teach me this too, or it won't. I'm here, teacher. Present. All who wish to teach, I'm all ears.  Let's see how it unfolds.

[Adrian]

Your are very welcome Loerie, and thanks for all your contributions, which, and I am sure others enjoy reading.

I would just like to mention that Astral Projection and Meditation need not be seen as separate abilities. Meditation  is the foundation and basis for Phasing, through which you may realise progressively higher "focus levels" from etheric to upper Astral and higher. And yes, we are certainly here to share experience, in all Metaphysical abilities and achievements, all are most welcome.

[Loerie]

Nice to meet you too   And thanks Adrian. I get am digesting it all.

[omcasey]

Hi OmCasey thanks for your interest.

I am getting the suspicion that I've worded my initial query far too strongly. As I get to know the people here, I think I approached it with a bit too much force - but so we learn each moment.

So meditation is none of the above for me. I've never had a formal teacher, besides the universe and my life. It just lightninged its way in one night in 2008. It refined and got much simpler. I've never been to a group or a satsang, or a retreat. There's no practice anymore, no method anymore, all that fell away a long time ago - now its just being.

What is my most notable observation?

"..observation...ation... tion...." the echoes recede and the blank space on the page goes silent... the observer observes the observed observing the observer observing the observed... erved... erved....

As waves of wonder cascade around the auditorium, the crowd disappears, the curtains melt, the stage disappears and wonder escapes through the roof into the great beyond, but never moves an inch...

erm.. um. Observation? I don't really know!

Meditation is me. It is now. It just is - all this - in the sense of your "I am!" at the bottom of your page. I suspect that I may get where you are - of course i've just met you on a cryptic message, so maybe not -  I'm in a similar place perhaps - who knows, right? Nowhere. Here, now. It started back then for me, and it hasn't gone anywhere. I haven't gone anywhere. Life has moved, of course, as it does, because it is alive. All this talk about it is a bit pointless, isn't it? Even so - sharing makes it bright and clear, makes it relatable, and makes it a celebration - so let's share it, no?

Astral projection was skipped over in my case, early in the journey. It came to me, but I didn't pursue it back then. Now I feel like playing with it, exploring the terrain I skipped before, so I'm learning the ropes from more experienced wayfarers. i think I'm absorbing the right information and vibes here. Life will teach me this too, or it won't. I'm here, teacher. Present. All who wish to teach, I'm all ears.  Let's see how it unfolds.

Hello, again, Loerie

If I have this wrong please correct me without hesitation.

Prior to 2008 you never practiced formal meditation, per se. And, by formal, just so that I myself am clear, I would mean you never sat yourself down at a given time, on given days, be this daily or multiple times weekly with the precise purpose of practicing to enter the meditative state. This state arrived on your doorstep in 2008 with your satori experience. But you still wish to explore projecting more directly, more actually the into additional consciousness states- which are also fields, reality-frequencies; locations within the Astral, as an example.

If this is correct, I would most certainly recommend you begin a formal practice. If a deep and meaningful exploration is what you wish to experience. This is where the proverbial rubber hits the road. If you just want a little taste, you can afford to be more relaxed. If you want sustainable and lasting then more will (likely) be required of you. Permanent change generally does require more of us. I have learned, for myself, that my experiences are reliant on the depth and quality of my observation. Quality observation is what makes for quality experience. Observation, I find, is generally linked to my own curiosity, something I have asked, or to see in more depth/detail. Curiosity, I find, is what leads to consistent fully conscious experience in either 1) the shift in frequencies themselves, or 2) the manifest realms. Aside from arriving at the state of being ready in itself (for expanded experience), knowing what our questions ARE, what it is we are curious AT is what drives what either does or does not happen. The clearer the question, the clearer the aim, the clearer the REPLY in the form of a direct experience.

A few examples of observations in meditation, prior to the point at which I began consciously shifting into and out of Earth space: I observed 1) a fully tangible feeling-presence at my back (in 2009 when I began making the conscious shift it was due to this feeling-presence merging with me; it would overlap my own personal field), 2) at the very bottom of my exhale I perceived a doorway, for more than a decade following the onset of daily formal practice I could only approach it, I could not go through, 3) the absence of sounds which should be present, such as the second hand ticking of the clock (which, as one who was solidly awake within myself, I found QUITE odd), 4) breath cessation, khumbhaka; I could either consciously not discern where I was within the breathing cycle, or could discern the cessation of the physical processes and that another kind of radiation was in effect, 5) and, though there are many more, this is my favorite, perception had turned inside out on itself; states had become synchronous, I no longer perceived myself as a small something within a larger external world, but rather as the larger presence within which the world is appearing; this remains a constant in my ground-level experience to-date.

Without the making of these observations, it is somewhat likely I would not have caught more fully on to the conscious shift, to where I am and what I am doing in the larger reality, to what reality even is, and the way it works. My conscious state would just not have been able to hold it. As was true, to the very moment it did all begin hold, and I can no longer stop. The wave has me, and now all there is, is the ride and what I will ultimately make of it.

So.
Your decided interest is important.
Formal practice, discipline is important. ( this is where we learn the most, and the hinge upon which all that follows rests )
Observation is important.
Vibrations are important to those who have them; huge, fascinating subject

I am riveted by the vibrational state(s), what they are in themselves, how I can work with them, what they are capable of. Truly, experience beyond the wildest dreams. They speak, all the frequencies do. They utterly inform one from the withinness of themselves outward. Once you can read them they can take you anywhere, everywhere, nowhere. It can be similar to the Akash itself. Only more, more central.

If you might want to continue on any of this, I am here.

I am enjoying where it is you may be taking yourself.


Casey

[Kodemaster]

Hello everyone - this is my first message here - I hope it's in the right place. Your expertise and caring energy is appreciated - thanks for providing this wonderful resource. I will read more as I get time. Here's where I am:

In 2008 I had a spontaneous satori, and I fell into what Kepple calls focus 4. That place where everything is one, and all is connected. Formless love. Being, wisdom and understanding itself. I see it as the seed of the universe tree, and here on the physical we are but the leaves. For two weeks I was in total samadhi, as if lucid dreaming and wide awake day and night. For a year I was in both realities, here and other, deeper here, in and out in waves. Later it all settled down. I naturally became interested in all things spiritual, including the astral reality.

I got a book called A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming by Dylan Tuccillo and others, and I tried really really hard for about a year or three, with almost no success, so I gave up, but it was there in the background. Recently it has appeared on my inner radar again, and I can feel it cooking.

A few nights ago (weeks) I had the vibrations, much more intensely than normal, and I knew what they were, so I surrendered and let it kill me. I separated, feet first, and found myself in a dream house, where I went to the mirror and saw my face. "My hair looks a bit longer. Interesting." I went to the lounge and saw my guitar, and fell onto the couch - an old couch i had years ago. I got really excited, "I'm out! I'm out!" (I know, newbie stuff! and physically stimulated to the point of getting turned on - and snap - I was back in my body.

I've been trying really, really hard for about three weeks now. I know I'm trying too hard. I'm losing a lot of sleep, and can't seem to pop out. I can feel I'm on the threshold - really close - and I'm blocking myself somehow. I've read a lot, and listened to a lot of advice. A lot. I've tried multiple exit techniques, and I'm a long time meditator, so relaxing is like breathing for me. When I meditate I just go quiet. I don't think, I don't focus, I just be. It's wonderful - a kind of low grade samadhi, and it follows me through life. My whole life has become a meditation, and it's no longer a practice for me. I have grown in insight and understanding in incredible ways, and my heart has opened wide - and now this astral thing seems to be knocking on the door. I am excited to explore - but I'm getting in my own way. I just can't get out of the body.

I think part of the problem is that I'm so attuned to the energy system in the physical body. After a big car accident I had a lot of work to do in that area, and it has become my default to do the cellular healing thing. It keeps me in the body.

Kepple's phasing makes sense to me. I read his stuff and listened to it on youtube as well. I know it's the way - so my focus has been trying not to actually leave the body, separate with vibrations, but just phase. I've tried incorporating Active Imagination (from Jung), I've tried ladders, ropes, swimming, wobbling, wriggling, floating, rolling, flying, dropping, popping, sniffing, farting my way out - but no go. I tried giving up and letting it happen. I tried fighting hard and not giving up. I tried giving up and not giving up at the same time. I tried ignoring the sign posts and focusing on the destination. I think I want to stop trying altogether, so this whole message is a kind of "someone please pull me out already and tell me what I'm messing up."

Thanks!

Welcome, you are in the right place! I love your style of writing, by the way.

Congrats on making it to F4! That is my goal -- though not rushing it by any means.

Spontaneous projections -- or "free passes" -- are pretty common. We might have a few of those in childhood/early adulthood. From there a lot of us develop an interest in returning. That is where it gets tricky and takes a lot of dedication, training and patience.

I agree with Adrian, find the technique that works for you and go for it. Have fun!

[Loerie]

Thank you Omcasey and kodemaster for your kind input. Your desire to help other beings is wonderful. It makes my heart happy to feel your genuine engagement.

Let me see... how can I do justice to your pointers? Hmmm.

Like matter, energy and light in the sun that is falling to its own center of gravity, gaining energy, and then shooting back out to the surface, losing momentum, falling back in and then shooting out, to finally escape into space; so all beings are walking the "spiritual" path, whether they know it or not. Even the ones who behave in the most vile and unconscious ways. The real difference is whether we are completely unconscious and mechanical, living in the illusion, maya, samsara, or the cave of Socrates (platos cave) - or fully awake to our true nature, walking outside in the sunlight. Here, now, awake, real.

 Once a human being realizes their true nature, by grace, by accident, through a brush with death or an astral experience, LSD or some other means, the see their nature as a stich in the living fabric of eternity, as part of one life, one love - how could they possibly hate, fear, grab, destroy or pretend to own? That nonsense falls away. It does take time to fall away - strangely enough. The old ego shadow is a rut in stone, carved by centuries of water. It doesn't go away instantly, much as we would like it to, or believe that it has. It takes many people decades, lifetimes maybe, to let go. i get it. I know it. I live it. I'm in that too, just like you.

This became viscerally and existentially clear to me in the moment of awakening. It has never once left me - but as you so correctly say, good kodemaster, a desire seems to arise - an irresistible interest to return there, to go home, to get back. Mystics have known this thing forever. Gurus (IRL) exist because of this desire to return. Without it they wouldn't have a job. That unexplainable yearning within grows strong, overpowering, and now gets a definite goal - "I want to be enlightened/liberated/(add your descriptor here)."

Dedication and training are certainly part of that return journey - I concur. However, it is a deep and subtle thing. In another way, it's the simplest, most blatantly obvious thing of all. The effort itself eventually becomes the obstacle. Yet we have to live this to get through this. Paradox! Bother! Behold - spiritual teachings are sprouting throughout the ages as a result! 


As you so rightly point out, namesake of the beloved eternal sound of Om, a formal practice does have its sustained benefits. The ego needs this to dissolve itself. For a long, long time, perhaps. I speak from painful, sustained experience here. I too spent many years longing for that ecstasy, that honey gold, devouring every spiritual book and teaching I could lay my hands on. It all began to clarify, more and more and more and more over the years. It became simpler. For many years I walked mindfully, ate mindfully, slept mindfully, scratched my nose mindfully, farted mindfully, had mindful sex, worked mindfully, and watched my every single body posture, inner chi sensation, thought and feeling like a cat watching a mousehole. In a sense, I still do, but it is effortless now, simple, natural, not painful. I chose a work path that lent itself to immersing myself even more deeply into spiritual thought.

Of course, normal, real, grounded life comes and challenges all our "spiritual" bovine excrement. I say bovine excrement with the greatest of respect and awe, don't get me wrong. It's sublime bovine excrement - but in the end - it's what it is.

The living is the real, this very moment is the real, we are the real living moment, and the spiritual concepts are more shadows on the wall, more dream stuff to which we can so easily attach our fragile spiritual egos. I had so many visions, spiritual experiences, vibrations, lightning bolt insights, ecstasies, shadow challenges, failures, successes and waves of energy peaking and receding. They all come, and they all go. Every single one. I AM remains - as you remind us at the bottom of your page. Delightful

Ha ha ha - It's a process, and it isn't. The paradox of being. 

It has helped me tremendously to relax about the whole thing. The very effort to reach, to seek, to achieve - is ultimately the thing that prevents us from seeing that we are that. Isn't AP just the same? Of course it is. We are home. We never left. The last attachment we let go of is the spiritual quest attachment. We let go of enlightenment too. We become absolute zero. We die, in other words. So be it. Let it dissolve. Here I am anyway.

Here's part of a childlike poem I wrote that expresses it better:

"The 'Nuff-Ink was not lonely, the Nuff-Ink wasn't sad,
You couldn't call it good, nor could you call it bad,
For it populated nowhere
with everything it thought,
And what it thought was not a thing,
Neither aught, nor naught.

Lack was not a word it used,
Neither was despair,
For everything it needed, it breathed in with the air,
And air of airs was everywhere, yet never stirred a hair,
For Nuff-Ink didn't breathe, so 'Nuff-Ink didn't care.

It had no need to visit friends, for friends where all in Orl,
And whatever message needed knowing
Didn't need a call.
As soon as thought
Was thought by thought,
That thought was thought by Orl,
So Every One who lived there
Didn't think at all."

Some years ago I began to make friends with the spiritual path in a new way. It's now just a wonderful part of the same old eternal journey to nowhere, from nowhere. I have nothing to sell, nobody to convince, and nowhere to get.

I am super interested in AP, because I skipped that whole thing along the way. As a creative writer, and a teacher of sorts, (more of a supporter to teachers in the background), it has always been a blind spot for me. It's like I know it. I touch it every time a story comes. Every poem comes straight from there. Every deep meditative state is there - here - this. It has bled right into waking reality, and I see the gold on the leaves of trees, in the air, in the wood, everywhere. However, i can't write or talk about it from direct experience. A blind spot. I just want to explore the NPR as well. It's like this door that never got opened, and I'm curious. I'm still learning, even after all these years of spiritual binge-watching, and I think I will always be learning more. Being consciousness is endless. Vast. Vast!

For me Focus 4, the centerpoint, Nirvana, or the final samadhi - whatyoumucallit - is the simplest, most obvious thing in the world. It's me. "I" - this. Just this. All our talk just obscures it. Here's a paragraph from what I've written elsewhere:

"Little children see it all the time, but they have no way to tell you what they see. So they just laugh, and jump on the bed. Maybe they make this funny sounding melody of whoops and woos and spin around and around, completely happy. If you ask them why, they just shrug their shoulders."

As you say, kodester, we get these freebies - then we have to walk the walk. The walk is grueling.

For me its not about effort or discipline. Of course, it takes a high degree of mental discipline to make space around our thinking - that part is super tricky and slippery, and requires the utmost discipline for years, and unflinching self confrontation - agreed, unavoidable and totally valid. The moment we slip, we fall asleep, caught in the dream drama spiderweb again.

For me it's all about in-seeing. Insight. Understanding. Once I can see how I am muddying the waters, how I am overcomplicating reality, it just falls away and resolves itself. I return to the center, again, again and again. Forever maybe.

After a time the cloud of unknowing becomes so dense around a person that the slightest discomfort rings a loud bell. Instantly the cause is searched out, identified, and encountered. For instance: I'm losing sleep and frustrated. I feel it. I acknowledge the feeling in my body, in my heart. I look at it clearly. Ah! I'm creating a desire to AP, thinking it will change reality in some way - nonsense! I'm happy - what's the problem? I see there is no problem.

Meanwhile, life goes on and on as it has for untold time. Real life, with bills, jobs, pimples and wrinkles. With angry people in this here world. With insane prices for life's necessities, horror on the news, mindless zombies in churches and synagogues - all of it - just as before. O yes. Inescapable. It's beautiful too, though I can't take it seriously anymore. Yet here I am - in it. Right, smack bang in the midst of it, like you. Strange? Of course it's strange!

I hope to add more strangeness and more clarity into an already full existence through this new leg of the journey. I know this unseen reality is right here where I am. I'm not expecting to find anything substantially other, or better, or easier. I enjoy the flying feeling. I enjoy the space. I enjoy the fluidity. I like the spiritual feeling too. I like the insights that come - if they ever will come, i don't know. It's another aspect of the one eternal isness, and I want to explore it too.

Last night I had more vibrations again - it's now a nightly thing. I found myself in a dream, but not 100% lucid. I woke in the dream to my vibrations, thinking I want to project. In my dream I got frustrated. In my dream I looked at my hand, struggling to count fingers. In my dream I got up and gave up on trying to exit. I thought I felt myself beginning to separate, but decided, in my dream, that it was not going to happen. So I walked outside, spoke to some dream people, looked around a bit, completely accepting that this wasn't actually my home or my reality, and went back to bed.

It reminds me again of that line from the TRuman show - we accept the reality of the world with which we are presented. A false awakening? Either way - the journey continues into more clarity and lucidity, slowly but surely. Let's see where it goes.

I hope that answers your question, Omcasey, and speaks to your thoughts, Kodemaster.

May love steal your one sock and gift you with two more.

[omcasey]

Loerie

You have done justice and THEN some. I thank you for all you have written. You express yourself beautifully.

There is a certain irony in that as we first wake it is INSIDE the dream (and not up out of it). Either realizing, or gradually remembering that this — existence — is a dream. My very first lesson, which, just to say, was wholly my responsibility to catch hold of, was to place these concepts - dream and reality - on a level playing field in order to leave open the portal through the dimensional existence back to the Dreamer ...It almost going without saying that making them UNequal locks one in to that which they are assigning greater relevance. A process, yes, gleaned bit, by bit, by bit in ways such as this by our person(s). And not just in mind, in thought, but until fully embodying the new bit-of-awareness, insight, observation, idea, etc.. Grounding, walking, breathing each one into what we like to call reality. Our day to day 3D Earth life. Many keys are returned to each one of us in the process of what now is unfolding. They are simply laid here in the open, in wait for us to rediscover- in the very precise way in which each and every one of us will. JOY unbound. As the process releases us into additional spectrums and scopes.

Can we fly ourselves with resolve into this?

"It has helped me tremendously to relax about the whole thing. The very effort to reach, to seek, to achieve - is ultimately the thing that prevents us from seeing that we are that. Isn't AP just the same? Of course it is. We are home. We never left. The last attachment we let go of is the spiritual quest attachment. We let go of enlightenment too. We become absolute zero. We die, in other words. So be it. Let it dissolve. Here I am anyway."

"I am super interested in AP, because I skipped that whole thing along the way."

"For me it's not about effort or discipline .... For me it's all about in-seeing. Insight. Understanding. Once I can see how I am muddying the waters, how I am overcomplicating reality, it just falls away and resolves itself. I return to the center, again, again and again. Forever maybe."

It can be a knot -that I am certain exists in you already untied.

Please first let me say that I see you, as well as our dear Tides are Bhakti in heart, while I am Jnani *which I mention only due to the words/languages we are most apt to use, and I do not wish for these to present a boundary, or lead to misunderstanding. I am happy to speak in any of the languages. That we truly communicate is what is most important. It is good to be relaxed about where one/you/we are feeling to focus our attention and it pleases me to hear how it is helping you. Surrender is certainly, ultimately the name of the game. It is, I will just put on the page, namely "control" that is being surrendered and not FOCUS, focus may at all times be adamant. As you have aptly expressed in everything you have written here. Along with focus, our availability can be made, let's say, consistent, in any kind of pattern whatsoever. All this just to say, there is such a thing as "too relaxed", some kind of structure is needed to in order to, in a practical sense approach that which is arising. In physical space we are meant to apply ourselves and work toward what interests us most. Up to and including growing our experience, graduating it out from 3D Earth space. Which is a natural, inherent aspect of gradient space.

I realize I am not offering you, yourself, anything specifically new, Loerie, but the opportunity to delve deeper, or even simply anew into our existing insights can yield sometimes surprisingly so. There are ways in which spiritual insight does not always apply. And, here, with the quoted sentence above in bold, I might suggest applying a hint of contrast. In order to not zoom past an area wherein further insight could most certainly dawn. It is wonderful to have the insight that you do, that you are home, you have never left. I share this with you. However, at the same time, ( and I mean this in a practical sense ), you, along with the rest of us are bound here, locked/keyed in here to this space, unable to get off the planet. There is, as all here very well know, a wide spectrum of experience territory between Home and here. Of course we would like to explore it! This is the very opportunity being here in the 3D Earth life provides. The question is, what is it, precisely, that allows this? What have the lot of us gleaned in this regard?

I am super interested in the conscious shift, too!

It is possible we ALL return to experience in more depth and detail the precise experience territory we call the Astral, and what, I, myself refer to as Galactic Space. In fact, I quite literally came back for it. I was on my way out. Out, out, out. This window did open for me. And what did I do?, I turned around for a last look. Man oh man. I saw all the fun all the awakening one's were having with preparing the collective for first contact, how much everyone was growing in their experience base, and I just couldn't resist. I wanted to help, I also wanted that growth-potential for myself. NOW -while it very much is still possible. I would be calling it close, I knew, but the prospects were so exciting. What more is possible still to experience in this once in an Eon event of the ages. So, here I am, going for it. Alongside everyone here in this room. We have much to exchange with-and-within ourselves. Somehow, we are all the exact torque needed by the others of us.


*  *  *  *


A Buddhist Koan that reveals what I myself am attempting far more less effortlessly -and eloquently:

First there is a mountain
Then there is no mountain
Then there is

[Loerie]

Thanks OmCasey


I appreciate the depth and brightness of your response. I hear you, like I say, I am here to learn as well - so touting any of my old knowledge is counterproductive - I want to absorb instead. I like that the frustration of the "failure" is causing friction, resistance, something to push against - so I think I get what you are saying. But I will test it in soul, energy and bodyI will ponder it more, and more importantly, use it going forward. I too feel more like a Jnani than a bhakti, but in the end they are one. I don't feel locked or imprisoned here anymore. I think this life is quite inexplicably marvelous! It's the blink of an eye, and I don't want to miss it either. I know it goes infinitely deeper, so i'm happy to persist in standing at the door, turning the handle, pushing, trying to slip through the keyhole, knocking, rattling it on the hinges, all the while knowing there is no door! Ha ha ha.

Bless you. Thank you. Right now I'm in the phase of restoring balance, giving it a break to get on with real life. I will return and return, in an open and energetic way.

Can we fly ourselves with resolve into this?



I am super interested in the conscious shift, too!

It is possible we ALL return to experience in more depth and detail the precise experience territory we call the Astral, and what, I, myself refer to as Galactic Space. In fact, I quite literally came back for it. I was on my way out. Out, out, out. This window did open for me. And what did I do?, I turned around for a last look. Man oh man. I saw all the fun all the awakening one's were having with preparing the collective for first contact, how much everyone was growing in their experience base, and I just couldn't resist. I wanted to help, I also wanted that growth-potential for myself. NOW -while it very much is still possible. I would be calling it close, I knew, but the prospects were so exciting. What more is possible still to experience in this once in an Eon event of the ages. So, here I am, going for it. Alongside everyone here in this room. We have much to exchange with-and-within ourselves. Somehow, we are all the exact torque needed by the others of us.

.


That sounds almost like an NDE? I assume you're talking about seeing your path on the astral though?

I can relate, in a way. When I was little, I had this lucid dream. A pirate ship appeared in the pool, and this being of light swung over on a rope and cut my head open with a cutlass. That should have scared the excrement out of me, but I was calm. He showed me both sides of my brain (mind), like a watermelon halved. He showed my tiny villages of moss growing on the side of the pool. Tiny humans were pushing wheelbarrows, leading village life. "help them" he said. I really wanted to, but didn't know how. That dream stuck because of that being - he glowed, radiated joy. I saw him/her/it again when I had my own NDE like experience in a coma. It took many years to connect the dots. I've asked it to help me get out of body, and I feel it there, chuckling at my foolish struggling . During those times I also got this feeling of having wanted  to come back to share in all this earth drama. It's glorious!

I don't think of any of this in a literal way. It's not actually another "being" necessarily, for there is only  being. It is another aspect of me - of the one. I'm not special, as this vehicle, o no, not at all, it is temporary, being is infinite, and it is in my centre, the depth of my own conscious being, as it is for yours, for we are joined in heart and mind ultimately. Here we're quite "separate." I see only one reflected in all of this, including your words of experience to me.

Let me leave it there for now.

Thanks again.