Swesent's Endeavors Toward OoBE

[Swesent]

I have two goals  each night now;

The one of highest priority right now is to try and remember as much as I can from my dreams. Should I ever be so lucky as to get to experience "the beyond" then I would definitely want to remember as much as possible! I am keeping a Dream Journal here on this forum for that purpose. You may reach it through this link.

My second goal is to try and achieve my first OoBE experience. That's where this thread comes into play. I assure you, it's not my intention to clutter up this place - I just want to share whatever I manage toward OoBEing and maybe be blessed with some advice along the way.

EDIT: Index

August 1:st 2011
August 3:rd 2011
August 5:th 2011
August 8:th 2011 - A Tiny bit of Lucidity

[Swesent]

August 1:st 2011

It took me quite some time to fall asleep this night. I had changed my pillows significantly just to make it a tiny bit less comfortable. I concentrated on repeating to myself that I will remember, mixed with I will stay conscious.

I'm laying there on my back in a slightly different position thanks to the pillow adjustment, having no trouble staying conscious by focusing on the mantras I was repeating in my head. After only a couple of minutes I can feel my breathing and my body becoming more relaxed to a point where I eventually feel completely relaxed and without tension.

After awhile I began to lose feeling in my arms and somewhat in my legs as well. At a point it felt almost as if the blood flow had been cut to my arms and legs even though I had nothing weighting down on my arms other than the covers. This kind of gave me an urge to look at my arms and to move them just to see if there really was something going on. But I resisted those impulses.

After yet some time it felt as if my hearing became 50% impaired. I could still hear our cats occasionally making sounds but other more diffuse background noises seemed to fade away. This was followed by the feeling of my heart beat speeding up. For some reason my closed eyelids suddenly became brighter than they were supposed to be considering the level of darkness in the bedroom. They were still a one colored gray - but with added backlight of sorts.

Shortly thereafter I could feel something odd going on within my body and every now and then it felt as if my point of eyesight changed. Like it was skipping back and forth between my actual eyes and somewhere close by - maybe where the third eye is supposed to be. All the time keeping my eyes closed! I remember breaking my mantra a few times thinking that maybe something is going on now.

Now, here's the difficult part: Suddenly my heart began speeding up even more and I could feel a hint of vibrations throughout my body. There is a very big chance that I was way too early, but I began playing with the thought and will to float up toward the ceiling. Doing so, all the sensations increased even further - BUT - two things were and are bugging me;

When this happened, when the sensations began working overtime, I suddenly found it difficult keeping my eyes closed. I felt this kind of tiny jerking in my eyelids and I had to struggle to keep them closed. Even at this early stage I felt that I had messed it up since I had to focus on keeping my eyes closed. My brain would have sensed that conscious muscle control and knew that I (my body) wasn't asleep at all!

There was also somewhat of a struggle with my breathing. I didn't seem to be able to just relax my breathing and let my body handle that on its own. I always felt conscious about it and I just could not escape controlling my breathing. Either I kept breathing very rapidly or I could slow it down below what I felt was normal (or needed at the time). = I found no relaxed automatic state in between! Thus again I was interfering with conscious control over another part of my body and that must have prompted my brain even more that I was still awake!

At the same time I also felt that I had unconsciously begun stressing a couple of muscles around my lower back and upper thighs area and I thought to myself that by now I must definitely have messed it up!

After that I still tried to keep perfectly still and I told myself over and over "RELAX! Just relax and let this happen! Just relax and let this happen..." I became a bit more relaxed throughout my body and after awhile all the above kind of repeated itself another one or two times before I finally decided to give up for the night. I had been laying completely still and conscious for maybe about 60 to 90 minutes.

Still I don't want to get too hung up about this failed attempt considering that it can usually take weeks, if not even months, for those who really commits to this to have their first successful OoBE.

[Lionheart]

 I can see you have identified your problem here. You keep mentioning physical body sensations like breathing/heart palpatations/eyelids. Those are the hardest thing to ignore, but there is a silver lining at the end of rainbow and you are just about to reach it. Welcome these sensations as you realize your goal is soon to be reached. But don't pay attention to them that much. Just notice them passively as they occur and you shall move on to the Astral. This is alot easier said than done, but you really have to trust and have faith!

[Swesent]

...Welcome these sensations as you realize your goal is soon to be reached. But don't pay attention to them that much. Just notice them passively as they occur and you shall move on to the Astral. This is alot easier said than done, but you really have to trust and have faith!

So you're saying that everything doesn't necessarily have to be ruined even though I need to put a small effort into keeping my eyes closed? I believed that the attempt was completely ruined if I put in a conscious effort to control a muscle (in this case, my eyelids). I thought I had to abort everything, calm myself down again and start over from square one.

I guess the breathing - trying to ignore that weird "forced to control it"-kind of feeling will be the most difficult sensation to try and ignore. But I will definitely take your advice and try and keep my focus away from all that! It feels really encouraging knowing that them eyelids doesn't mess it up as much as I believed they were!

Thank you for your reply Lionheart!

[Lionheart]

 If you think that your eyelids have messed it up, then they have. Just remember that, whatever physical you focus on will hinder your phasing. 

[Xanth]

There is a first step to phasing... well, I mean if you want to be able to do it anytime/anywhere... that is first you have to drop your connection to this physical reality.
There has to be JUST YOU... just your consciousness... no physical body, no physical environment stimulus... just the consciousness that is you existing in a void of nothing.  You do this by focusing your entire attention away from everything that is physical.

Once you're existing in that void of nothing... you've phased.  From there it's a simple matter of placing your Intent towards doing whatever it is you want to do. 

[Swesent]

There is a first step to phasing... well, I mean if you want to be able to do it anytime/anywhere... that is first you have to drop your connection to this physical reality.
There has to be JUST YOU... just your consciousness... no physical body, no physical environment stimulus... just the consciousness that is you existing in a void of nothing.  You do this by focusing your entire attention away from everything that is physical.

Once you're existing in that void of nothing... you've phased.  From there it's a simple matter of placing your Intent towards doing whatever it is you want to do. 

This way of thinking has completely avoided me until now that you mentioned it! (The downside of being an aspiring beginner.) This I will keep in mind! Thank you very much for the insight - I'm pretty sure that your and Lionheart's replies have just shortened my way to success quite a bit! It probably would have taken me a while longer to get my thinking to this level. Cheers!

[Swesent]

August 3:rd 2011

I think I had a little bit too much on my mind this night. Shortly before going to bed I went over some info regarding the method of "phasing". Where you basically concentrate on what's happening behind your eyelids - noting change of color, brightness, lights, patterns - and basically let it all evolve until you simply appear somewhere out of your body. That's how I understood it at least.

So we went to bed rather late this night. I keep my pillows somewhat angled to create a slightly unfamiliar position. This I find very effective for helping me remain conscious. I lay there on my back, not moving. I feel like I'm paying too much attention to sounds and feelings around me though. When the pre-projection state is working, your senses should begin to shut down. Sometimes our cats make an odd sound, other times my girlfriend may change her position slightly - stuff I can't help taking active notice of.

After a while, however, I can feel my body going numb - partly at least. Again my arms and legs remind me of the feeling of having the blood flow cut off. At one occasion it felt as if I had a medium weight on my chest. Two short times I felt my body begin to vibrate ever so slightly. The first time I concentrated on trying to push upwards out of my body. When doing so, the vibrations increased a little. As a desperate measure I tried the commands "Lucidity now!", "Clarity now!" and some form of "Help me!". At every command I could feel the vibrations increase even further - but that's as far as it goes. This "peak" rapidly comes to an end, all my sensations dissipate and I usually end up with discovering that I have unconsciously tensed a couple of muscles. During this I had the continuous problem not being able to decide whether or not I should try the phasing thing.

After about 60 - 75 minutes of futile attempts I kind of decided to give up for the night. At that point I turned to my right, away from lying on my back. I let go of the OoBE concentration - I just let everything go from my mind. For some reason, after only a couple of minutes, I once more began experiencing the pre-projecting sensations throughout my body. Even the vibrations came along and since I was already lying on my right side I figured I would try the "rolling out of the body" technique. As I began to focus on the motion of rolling further to the right, the vibrations increased again. Unfortunately that "peak" or "limit" comes where nothing more happens and before I know it, I'm back where I started (almost at least). After that I drifted off into regular sleep and dreaming.


- A Couple of Observations -
Sure, things changes with my body. First the relaxation, then partially decreased hearing followed by increased heart rate and slight vibrations. My legs and arms may go numb and increased respiration. Body heat goes up slightly as well. But at no single point have I ever felt the effects of sleep paralysis. No matter how numb my arms and legs feel - if I decide to move, I can move! I have never felt hindered in my movement - so I don't think that I've ever experienced any paralysis thus far. My ankles and wrists can feel a little bit stiff when I do decide to move them - but I have no idea where that stiffness is coming from.

When trying to exit my body and I reach this "peak" where I can't seem to advance any further - I guess I could compare the feeling to as if I'm diving and I want to get to the surface. But the surface is covered in solid ice and no matter how hard I try I can't get past it.

I really need to work on relaxing though and maintaining a relaxing state when things start to happen as well. I also think I'm starting with the exit techniques way too early. Some sources say that you really should wait until most of the pre-projecting sensations have come and then subsided again before trying to exit the body. I'll have to decide which technique to use, work on my relaxation and not be too eager with trying to exit. And I must not let random noises and feelings from my surroundings put me off - I must stick with it! I guess a slightly irritated mindset makes everything more difficult as well. Better to stay positive I take it.

[Lionheart]

 You are trying too many techniques and things all at the same time. All that Clarity Now/Lucidity Now/Help Me is stopping you from going any further. This sounds like signs of being overly excited. Just calm down and let it happen. You are making great progress, but I think you are trying too much. I use "Clarity Now" when I know I have already phased and I just need a clearer vision because it either may seem dark at the time or I am seeing shadowy images.

[Swesent]

August 5:th 2011

My g/f is away for a couple of days which means that I do what I always do - I turn my days around completely. This means that I went to sleep around nine in the morning - after having been awake for roughly 24 hours straight. Hardly not the best time nor circumstances for any Astral Projection - but what the h*ll, it's not like I have something else to do when hitting the sack.

So I'm lying there on my back, eyes closed and trying to focus on more or less nothing. I try to stay conscious whilst keeping my mind as empty as possible. At first I'm having no trouble with staying conscious - although I never get any of those sensations - nothing happens! After a few more minutes as I was trying to concentrate on shapes, colors and light behind my eyelids, it was almost like I had opened my eyes about one fifth of the way. It was like the bottom fifth of my eyelids had become transparent and I could discern a wall on the other side of the room - pinkish in color. Looked more like the wall from the bedroom in our old house. I was positive that I really had my eyes fully closed and relaxed though.

Then I must have drifted of into some semi sleep or something. Suddenly I was standing outside our local food store. I was standing ten - fifteen feet outside the automatic doors and in this "dream" I had my eyes closed. I can't say how but I felt some slight connection with the fact that my physical body has its eyes closed - therefore my eyes are closed in the dream.

I wanted to enter the store, so whilst having my eyes closed in the dream, I tried to visualize the store entrance - how far away the doors were, how wide the entrance is, how long before I get to the second set of doors etc. In the dream I quickly get this more or less perfect mental image of the entrance and my position in relation to it. I walk slowly forward. I can hear the doors opening and closing to other customers passing by. When I turn my head in my dream I can see some of the passing customers looking at me in puzzlement - even though I still had my eyes closed.

Once I passed through the first set of entrance doors, I quickly opened my eyes in the dream. I felt immediately worried because in the back of my head it felt as if I actually gave my physical body the command to open its eyes. It was as if I was having a lucid dream on an extremely shallow/light level and in the dream I was aware of my physical body... That's the best I can explain it. When my dream self opened the eyes, I could see my surroundings very clearly, exactly as it had looked in my mind. And I mean, I was really surprised in the dream because I was expecting to wake up when opening my eyes - again I felt that connection with my physical body. After only a second or two I really did come to again, back to reality, ending this short fascinating experience. The entire scene felt no longer than maybe 20 to 30 seconds.


- Afterthought -
I know how important it is to having my eyes closed in order to fall asleep and to project (obviously!) - and I was also concentrating on my eyelids - it is just as if this concern I had of my eyes being closed in some way primed my dream self with the same concern. I was in no way personally in control during this "dream". I was just following along the dream's own current. I think it felt more real to me than my average dreams (and was a lot more complex for sure!) - but sadly no free mind or will in its duration.

[Swesent]

August 8:th 2011

- A tiny bit of lucidity but mostly just grouching -
Yeah, I have just started. Only been going at this for little over a week - that's a tiny comfort, but still; Something that is starting to bug me is not the fact that I haven't managed to leave my body yet - but the fact that I still have yet to experience the most fundamental part in all this - the sleep paralysis! It's almost like it doesn't even exist for me (I know it's real, of course, but I never get to consciously experience it).

The way I'm visualizing the effect from sleep paralysis is first of all that heavy lead blanket feeling when it kicks in. But the most noticeable part would be when you're making an attempt to move your physical body and it doesn't respond - isn't that an effect that is supposed to happen? I can lie there, completely still and relaxed down to my fixated pupils behind my eyelids - and I can remain like that for 30 - 45 minutes with full consciousness. Sure, after a while I get a reduced feeling throughout my body compared to when actively moving - but that's it. It doesn't matter when I decide to move, I can always move instantly!

I mean, sure, the sensations can vary greatly from person to person, but isn't the sleep paralysis part the one mandatory thing that always has to kick in for a projection to be possible? If I could just reach that paralyzed state that would mean a great progress, a huge leap in the right direction, for me! I spent about 90 - 100 minutes this night just waiting, relaxing and trying to keep my head cleared. During this time a few different sensations came up but vanished just as quickly again - but at no point was I ever paralyzed.


- Enough bellyaching, on to the weak lucidity part -
After having spent ~90 minutes lying on my back with no results I finally decided to stop trying for the night. I turned to my right side and opened my arms to greet whatever dream would find me first. I don't know whether it has to do with me having spent 90 minutes on my back, but I found that I was able to feel even more relaxed lying on my right side. Different sensations came again quite rapidly - maybe it's because I think even less about projecting after having decided to give up on it for the night... Anyways, I lie there completely still and relaxed, hoping for some sleep paralysis to show itself, but it never did.

After a while I must have fallen asleep - I was still in my bed though and I turned over to my left, next to my g/f and completely out of the blue - with nothing prompting me whatsoever - I thought to myself "Maybe I have fallen asleep now? Maybe I'm dreaming..." To check - I used the reality check where you pinch your nose and try to breathe through it - which I found myself able to do, and that made it very clear that I was in fact dreaming.

I remember wanting to improve what I was experiencing so I tried the commands "Clarity now!" and "Lucidity now!" a couple of times. Things got a tiny bit clearer, but not much. Next thing I know I was out in our living room, touching a few things around the room just to see what it felt like. I concentrated on a wall mounted lamp, wanting to make it move with my thought/will, but nothing happened.

After that I suddenly found myself in the hallway and I got the idea "I remember that if you jump in a dream you're supposed to fly, hover, or at least descend slowly." I tried jumping around a few times but with the same result as if I had been in my physical body - no sign of softened up dreamy physics at all. (And I know it was a dream because this was the hallway from our old house btw.)

Lastly I decided to head back to the bedroom to see if I could see myself sleeping. This was a bit weird though. As I entered the bedroom, the bed was empty - I couldn't see myself there nor my g/f. As I took a couple of careful steps closer to the bed I suddenly felt a semi-powerful force pulling me toward the bed - even though my body wasn't there. It felt exactly like my dream body was being sucked into a vacuum-cleaner. I actually had to put in some effort in order to back away from there. At that point, I can't remember anything more.


- Personal thoughts about this -
Now, when I recall this little semi-lucid dream, it feels like it was a very, very shallow level of lucidity involved. The memory of what I experienced doesn't even come close to an experience in the physical world. I mean, an optimal level of lucidity (and a full Astral Projection) should feel even more real than the physical world as I understand. Maybe, just maybe, my level of dream recall could have a small impact on this? Maybe a poorly trained dream recall can make a dream feel less lucid than it actually was.

That's a question I would like to ask someone more experienced who reads this; Can a weak dream recall make a lucid dream feel less lucid when remembering it than it actually was?

Finally, the force I felt pulling me toward the bed - I can't bet on that it was a "real" feeling in that dream. Having read up on Astral Projection and OoBEs very heavily, the fact that being too close to your body will feel like it's pulling you in has been battered into my head dozens of times. Thus, maybe that pulling force I felt was just a manifestation of my mind what I expected to feel - even though my body wasn't in the bed.

[moker]

I think that you learn things in the physical world and then store them in your memory.
And after a while you do not have to think about what you learned anymore because you are then used to it.
Then you can do it almost automatically. It is just like riding a bike.

But when you are in the dream world or astral world or however you wanne call it.
There you are learning things just like here in the physical world.
But you forget your memories of the things you have learned very fast.
That way all the knowledge about what you have learned goes lost.
But when you start to write down your dreams in a dream journal then your knowledge will not be forgotten.
That way you can maybe improve your ability to lucid dream.

[bluremi]

Hey buddy,

Congrats on your minor success. You may have noticed already that relaxation is the key here, and that "waiting expectantly" and trying to achieve a goal is actually counter-productive and may cause people to lie still for 90 minutes at a time and grow increasingly frustrated as nothing happens. Sound familiar?

If you are physically very relaxed but still thinking very lucidly and clearly, you are not in the right mental state yet. You're going for that loose, slightly disconnected state you get when you're very tired and on the verge of sleep, where your thoughts seem random and daydreams intrude upon your consciousness. If you've ever been a passenger on a long car ride and find yourself slipping around on the border of wakefulness and sleep, jerking at sudden sounds or images, that's the feeling you want.

The preceding state can be characterized by an awareness that is:

1) Receptive to anything that might occur
2) Passive, not trying to achieve anything
3) Flexible to shifting forms of awareness

This is a tricky balancing act because it means you are mentally walking on a ridge with alertness on one side and a deep chasm of sleep on the other. You know you're there when random thoughts and images or sounds flit through your mind, causing you to "snap back" to awareness. One way to get to this point, once you're very physically relaxed, is to start daydreaming about random things. Eventually you should run into a lapse of awareness or a few frames of dream sights or sounds. That's how you know you're close. The rest of the job is to maintain awareness in this delicate state without falling asleep.

NOTE: Please take my advice with a grain of salt as everyone is different and although this seems true for the vast majority of people it may not apply to you in particular.

[Lionheart]

 I never have understood this fascination with wanting to see yourself lying on the bed. There are so many unique experiences you can find in the Astral. It's hard enough to get through all of the eye blinking/twitching, vibrations and all the symptoms of Astal Travel without having to spook yourself by seeing your body too. I never feel like I am being pulled out during any OBE's I have, I always feel I am expanding though. My first visions are always of the tunnel/vortex, once I am through there it is on to Wonderland.