Childhood Neg Experiences

[kromeknight]

Hello Laurel
You deserve and I'm sure, will receive many more helpful replys and support rather than my heart felt sympathies to your life long battle. Laurel as you can see by reading the forums Astral pulse, the ppl that gather here can give you a broad base to find answers and sound advice born from experience and knowledge. I'm having trouble articulating my reply to you.... I just wanted to say hi and welcome. I will try and reply later with more substanes until then.
Big hug take care

[Laurel]

Hi Krome,

Thank you for the kindness of your reply. That in itself is helpful because it assures me that good people like you won't judge me based on my experiences.

I've read about McArthur and Kristen and Hope and Child of the Forest's Neg experiences, and even though it's sad to hear that others have been through similar things, it's comforting in a way to know I'm not alone. (By the way, I hope you are all doing better with your difficulties.) I'm not the only one who has half hoped I was insane (so that none of what's happened could be "real") and half feared insanity.

Interesting that a lot of the remedies suggested here and in Robert Bruce's PPSD are things that I've figured out on my own.

Here's a list of the things that seem to help me the most:

Keeping the lights on during periods of intense attacks. (I actually have a job that enables me to stay awake all night with the lights on, and to sleep during the day.)

What the IIPC (www.iipc.org) calls the "vibrational state," and what is just sending energy up and down your body fast enough to make a vibration (not a new technique). This is a good thing to do while showering.

Being around happy, loving people and having fun

Loud, "positive" music (even though I don't enjoy a lot of it), and singing

Exercise and movement, especially outside; Working in nature seems to be good, though some nature areas, like any other kind of place, have negative casts to them and aren't helpful.

Regular meditation and energy work, but not too much. Especially some "outflow" techniques make me more sensitive. I do a lot of "inflow" stuff that helps me fortify my flighty field (I used to have a problem with spontaneous OOBE and getting too much psychic information.)

Being in a clean, organized environment, taking care of my physical body and regarding it with kindness, having a sort of "blessing" attitude towards it and yourself.

Not allowing myself to focus on problems and symptoms (but not denying them, either)

Memorizing protective prayers, chants and poems and repeating them when I find myself mentally vexed or fearful.

Handling and working with herbs and objects from nature

"Charging" my environment and the objects I contact with "happiness"

Handling anger, guilt, fear, ect. very directly instead of denying it or letting it fester and create core images

Maybe others will find some of these helpful.
Laurel

[Ladycourt]

Laurel:

I am a mother of an 8 year old child, who just today told me of his contact with what he thinks is the Devil.  He only calls the thing that looks like the Devil (horns,red,black cloak, etc..) "Dude".  That is strange in itself, but he claims to have been awake a few times and seeing rooms to what he thought was Hell.  He did say a good spirit "sat on my bed and it said to stay away from the Devil because he is a bad influence".  I don't know if this is the imagination of a Gifted/Talented (GT, he has been tested) or real.  He claims to have had these experiences several times since he was 4.  I don't know what to do or think.  I do not want to appear to disbelieve him, because my heart says he is telling me the truth (not just because he is my child).  I asked him just an hour ago about making sure to tell me the truth.  He said, "Mom, why would I lie about the Devil?  I would get in big trouble".  [?]  Help, if you know anyone who can help me.

Concerned Mom:

Laura

[Dark Knight]

Hi there,

Just as a heads up, be careful here. I have a neg cast over me but not by choice. I've been under severe attack for 5.5 years now. I'm still alive after almost dying several times.

These things tried to use me to attach to other people, so I'm very wary of not letting people put their energy around me, or send me things with their energy on them.

Enjoy yourself here, learn what you can that helps you/others, and be very careful.

[Laurel]

As a child, I had a terrible time dealing with Negs. I'm wondering if anyone here had similar experiences. Let me describe mine. This is a summary that leaves out many details, but it is still rather long.

My problems started when I was about 3.5 (yes I remember my early childhood clearly). My family had moved into another house. My parents were both alcoholics who had frequent parties and my brother was a "troubled youth" who toyed with (mock?) ritual satanism and was frequently in trouble with the law. I was not baptized and my family was not religious.

I was a sensitive, precocious little one who had always had a great sense of exploration. However, soon after we moved, that changed. Every night as I was going to sleep, I would see what I can only describe as "energies" forming in the room and getting closer and closer to me. Sometimes they seemed to be talking to me inside my head. They would crowd me until I was completely terrified, and I'd scream or call for my parents, who sometimes heard me and sometimes didn't. This was the beginning.

As time passed, I became very withdrawn and aware of "bad spirits" in our house and around me. I could feel them around me, especially when I was alone. I was afraid of people and everything else. Once I started school (a religious school, though my family wasn't religious), I adopted a complex bedtime ritual (involving prayer and trance) meant to ward off the "spirits," but this ritual was not particularly effective. It actually seemed to make things worse. I became rather paranoid and was afraid to close or hide my eyes while in the house--I felt I was always being watched, and I could see the energies watching me--so I had peculiar ways of getting dressed and showering. I developed some personally disruptive bad habits. I became very shy and hardly talked to anyone. I tried sometimes to tell my mother what was happening, but of course she never believed me. Luckily, she often let me sleep in my parents bed when the nightmares and night terrors were at their worst, and this helped, though sometimes the faucet in her bathroom turned on repeatedly while I was there.

One of my worst sensations was the feeling that reality was unreal, that physical locales I wasn't looking directly at ceased to exist, that these horrible entities were gods, and that if I wasn't careful, I would be swallowed into a void. It was crazy, but I often found myself physically running down the long hallway while trying to look in all directions at once so that the void couldn't approach and swallow me.

By the time I was 10, my parents thought it was time for me to "grow out of" my fears and to "stop being so sensitive." However, things were getting worse. Poltergeist-type activities began in my room and around electrical equipment. I had many battery-operated kid's toys, and these would turn on and off by themselves during the day and night. The bedroom door would open and close of its own accord, which of course my parents attributed to air-conditioning related changes in pressure, and things fell off the shelves. The television and vaccuum cleaner also liked to turn on by themselves, sometimes when they weren't plugged in. (I'm not sure these were entired related to negative entities, though, because I still tend to mess up electrical stuff, and I think my afflictions have eased off.)

I also had a lot of out-of-body experiences, many of them unpleasant but some of them vacation-like.

The creepiest thing of all was the non-electric toys and their movements. In my room were marionettes my parents had hung from my ceiling. They would sometimes move in conjunction with the voices I heard. Other children spending the night at my house also saw and heard this happen. No adult ever did.

A few times bizarre things happened to me that led to injury of myself and others. I regularly felt myself taken over by compulsions to do strange things, some of them more benign (like smashing dinner plates) than others (pushing my dear best friend off my speeding go-cart). I was ashamed and perplexed by these events.

When I was 11, we moved to a new house, but this was not the end of my problems. I was deeply depressed, was seriously sleep-deprived after a lifetime of fear. (By the time I was 8, doctors had suggested to my parents that I take antidepressant medication, but I refused, certain that there wasn't anything wrong with my brain.) I also developed bizarre neurological and immunological problems. I felt very damaged and thought I might be evil. I began reading "New Age" and self-help books that I found on the shelves of family friends, things like Shakti Gawain and "What to say when you talk to yourself."

We moved several other times. Although I was successful in school, I was troubled. I wrote poetry, most of it very hopeful and spiritual, but sometimes I felt myself taken over and would write bizarre "evil" poetry and things that terrified me. When I was 14,  had a dream in which it seemed the entities were telling me the course of my life: suicide. Part of me wholly grasped on to this plan (which was nothing simple--first I had to write a manifesto on reality as dictated by the energy), and another part realized that the other part was frankly psychotic.

The sane part of me alerted my mother to the urgent situation but didn't believe in the entities and requested psychiatric help. My mother couldn't accept that there was anything wrong, but eventually I got the so-called "help" and then landed in a psychiatric unit where I was drugged out of my mind and more afflicted by the Negs than before. The doctors couldn't agree on what was wrong with me, because despite that I was sometimes very weird, I could discuss my "case" objectively and logically at other times. Often I really seemed to be living in another world, became very paranoid, sometimes "losing" weeks of time to psychotic oblivion (and allergic reactions to antipsychotic medications). I was not able to attend school during this time. This for about a year and a half, when my mother realized my problems were getting worse, took me off all the crazy medications, and started taking me around to New Age shops and psychics (though she knew nothing about metaphysics) so that I could read and try to figure out how to help myself. I taught myself about chakras and energy work and also sought wisdom through Buddhist teachings.

My family situation was rather bad, with my parents still alcoholic and miserable, moreso because of my long-standing problems. When I turned 18, I moved across the country from my parents, and my "emotional" problems decreased, but I became seriously ill with a degenerative neurological disorder.

Luckily, between age 18 and now (years later), I have found ways to diminish the effects of these "bad energies" and to use my psychic abilities in better ways. But I still don't feel on top of it all. I meditate, do energy work, stay away from people who seem to have a "dark" cast over them, and try not to let the bad stuff get to me. I have had no serious mental problems since I stopped living at my parents' home.  

I'm wondering if others who've had similar experiences have tried Robert Bruce's methods to finally free themselves of the Negs, and if this approach has been effective. I particularly interested in talking with people who had intense Neg experiences as children and in hearing about how they are doing now.
Laurel
(edited for clarity)