"EVERYONE ELSE'S holy privilege but not YOURS"

[jilola]

Hi!

I've had something akin to what you describe happen to me every now and then over the years. It's very hard not to think that these things are some sort of a curse or sinister external influence.

The truth of the matter is that it's my oown (and your for you) sub-ego that is in a self-deprecating loop. Sometimes the experiences we have in the conscious world manage to make it unfiltered by reason into the subconscious. Now subconscious is a simple (not stupid mind you) and straight forward creature who takes things often at face value and is extremely creative. (Subconscious is the source of our creativity)
Now when a series of unrelated negative events get to the sub-C level they are ionterpreted as they are and because of its creative nature the sub-C somes up with an explanation why the string of events is justified. And it goes wrong.
So here we are, the sub-C thinks there is some sort of ongoing cause that keeps creating these unfortunate situations for us to stumble on. The sub-C never sleeps really so it's constantly plying our connscious mind to notice how there is this elaborate construct behind these events when there isn't.

So there is indeed a kind of curse if you will, but the curse is placed on you by you (your subconscious mind). This is why it's so difficult to first of all see it for what it is and secondly to get rid of it.
If the cause were some actual entity or circumstance we could easily walk away from it and avoid it thus negating its influence. But this "curse" is in our own minds and we perpetuate it without realizing.

So what you need to do is clinically examine the situations where the so called curse seems to be at work and understand that it is an illusion created by your own subconscious mind. Then you need to reprogram it, so to speak, patiently reaffirming the sub-C that it's ok, it doesn't need to worry, things are under control.

The not deserving part is caused by the subconscious because it thinks there must be some reason why things go wrong and thus it think it somehow deserves things to go wrong. (we are talking about a sub-C in a self-induced delusional loop). Thus it makes itself and consequently you (i your conscious mind) feel that you don't deserve good things because yu clearly deserve bad things. !!NOTE!! Notice the loop there !!! That's what you need to pinpoint and dismantle.

It's not a  easy thing to look into yourself and fix things but it can be done. You just need to concentrate and be patient with yourself.  Subconscious is like a child in these matters.


PS: I'm not a doctor so the above is not medical advise, just an opinion.

2cents

jouni

[Tom]

A while back I posted about blocked natural ability. I can tell you what happened over a decade ago which caused my abilities to see energy and to do lucid dreaming to a complete halt. Even knowing that does not make going back and fixing it any easier. Limiting beliefs are really difficult to stop even after identifying them. Meditation can help, though, because it sharpens the mind. It is a good thing to have a sharp tool for cutting away unwanted beliefs.

[Qball]

Tom

I have never really fit into the crowd either. I've never been a popular person, and I usually find that people just don't like my opinions about anything. But somebody else can give the exact same opinion and it's  hailed as some great gospel.

I have also had the same happen when I enter a lunchroom. People are social animals like wolves, and you're either accepted by the pack or you're not. That is what I have found since I was in grade school. I'm glad I'm not accepted by most people. Otherwise how would I find time to meditate and ap. Besides  I am quite content to sit at a lunchroom table by myself.  So be it if others do not like me.

I usually avoid these type of places(chatrooms,discussion forums etc.) on the net because eventually I will write something that will cause people to gang up on me because  they don't like what i have written. It's not my intent to write something that ticks people off, and if it does that's not my problem.

I really believe it's a general lack of compassion and understanding in these societies. Lack of harmony as well.  Too many people like to go out of their way just to do something nasty to someone else.

The more I meditate the more I find that peole around me really do not know what it's all about. For instnace people in the west still think in terms of heaven and hell. Now that's a limiting belief if I ever heard one.

Qball

[jilola]

quote:I really believe it's a general lack of compassion and understanding in these societies. Lack of harmony as well. Too many people like to go out of their way just to do something nasty to someone else.  

You are SO right here!!  The western culture has become so hung up on the material that anything that doesn't fit in is looked down upon and scorned. And people have become amazingly adept at detecting the ones who have seems behind the scam that one can only wonder. I've been at the receiving end of the cold shoulder more often that I care to count.
People really do not know. And that's a fact.
The motto or law of thelema is what seems to be behind our existence regardless of how you feel about ceremonial magick and the like (esp. Mr. Crowley).

Love is the law, Love under Will
and
Do what you will shall be the whole of the Law.

Pretty much sums up the whole shebang?

2cents

joun

[Qball]

I'm not trying to sound like I'm on my high horse, but that is why( Lack of compassion) certain types of shows like survivor and big brother are so popular.
I wonder what the hippies would have thought of these shows.

The old cold shoulder. This how I feel about people who give the cold shoulder. If they are going to act that way then they are not worth the tme wasted to talk to.

I don't know much about Mr.Crowley, but ihave heard he knew a great deal concerning the spirit world.

Qball

[jilola]

I'm guessing you mean to point out the fact that these shows are about physical survival (albeit arranged).
I'm not familiar the "Big Brother" so I can't comment on it.

The world is as it is. There isn't much we can do about it that would make a discernible dent in the armour of what is considered the norm of existence. We can offer our ideas where appropriate and to those who are willing and able to receive them.

You know, I think we are the modern hippies http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile_shock.gif" border=0>

2cents

jouni

[Qball]

True. There isn't much that can be done to really improve society. Unless of course a person gets more powerful then a god or can raise Atlantis.

______________________________________________________________
We can offer our ideas where appropriate and to those who are willing and able to receive them.
______________________________________________________________
True enough.

Well I'm going for a walk at the local park

Qball

[jilola]

What I've adopted fro Crowley is the idea of the Will and Love.
The  Will being underlying imperative to evolve and advance as spiritual beings and Love being the consideration towards those around us. The effort to accommodate their point of view as justified within their own experience of the existence.
These together give a good ballpark idea as to how to deal with people who give us the cold shoulder or who dismiss our views. They have every right to their opinions and beliefs within their perception of the reality. As far as we are concerned we are guests in their universe as much as they are guests in ours.

Yikes. I'm getting pretty preachy with my posts!!

2cents

joun

[Tom]

In a book on meditation I read that it is better to have a quiet mind than a positive mind. Good qualities like compassion come spontaneously from a quiet mind. When you get a lot of people together with all those noisy minds, it is not surprising that there is a lack of spontaneous compassion. It can be really painful for strongly empathic people. Empathic and unique is really bad. Soaking up feelings from other people (hatred and fear) can lead to internalizing those feelings toward one's self.

[jilola]

Speaking from experience any feeling assimilated without control is way bad.
Quieting the mind helps to discern between  internal feelings and those assimilated from ther environment. It also helps to feel real love for the surroundings be they individuals or nature instead of negated adverse feelings.
Any spontaneuous emotion can only come a mind in rest.

2cents

jouni

[seekenergyaz]

Originally posted by Qball:

I have never really fit into the crowd either. I've never been a popular person, and I usually find that people just don't like my opinions about anything. But somebody else can give the exact same opinion and it's  hailed as some great gospel.

Qball,

This hit home.  Like crazy.  I say something, ignored.  The "right" person says the exact same thing, accolades.  There are many explanations for this phenomenon, if you will.  The secularistic ones rely in the large on the evolution model with its dominance hierarchies based on genetics, pheromone output, etc.  A lot of the supporters of this pure physiological model take on an attitude of "Life isn't fair, nor the least bit interested in fairness, kindness or compassion; therefore, I need not be either.  Life is cruel, so there's nothing wrong with me being cruel either.  I can have contempt for anyone I want, for any reason I want, or no reason at all if I so choose.  It is my American (or Australian or whatever the patriotic loction word is where they are from) RIGHT!  Nobody has a right to criticize me for exercizing my evolutionary right to have contempt for anyone I want, or for destroying the lives of those I consider weak or evolutionarily inferior within the species.  It is survival of the fittest, and the fittest are the most cunning.  The fittest are not the most moral, but are those who are the most cunning and best at getting away with their immorality, and making it look good in order to fool the crowd, who they are evolutionarily destined to RULE!  Too bad for the rest!  That's just too bad for them!  Nya nya nya nya NYA nya!"  (As in the sing-song child's taunt)

That is a very popular view, even though most will not admit it straightforwardly (because of the "make it look good" part of their view).  Some Secular Conservative idealogues come close to admitting it, but they too stop short so as to avoid making the wrong appearances.  Many religious consevatives and liberals believe it too, they are just a little more invested in their seemingly righteous veneers.  I think that explains the success of shows like "Survivor."  They are based on an arena-styled version of the view above.  It also explains a recent car commercial in the U.S. for one of the Japanese manufactured cars, which went something like: people will offer gracious emarks to their opponent when they win a game but what they're really thinking is "I'm better than you are."  (Also said in sing-song taunt.)  

Often moralistic reasons are manufactured, but unmasking the reasoning behind them will only make them angry (for blowing their moralistic cover) rather than change their mind.

Hmm, no wonder I'm not a popular person.  I'm exposing, and therefore desecrating too many people's Holy Duplicity!  I'm not supposed to DO that!

Other people depend on other explanations, such as karma.  Of course, one has to be careful there too because karma can also be used as a veneer to cover the above.  Many people believe it sincerely of course.  Either way it can be a bit of what Mr. Bruce calls one of those "blaming philosophies."

Many others take the Christian view of sin.  People are pretty much bad, sinful, and need saving and healing from Christ.  Again, many people believe this sincerely, while others use it, often shamelessly, as a veneer to cover that first view which is what they REALLY believe deep down.

There are other views too I'm sure, but those are the biggies I think.  But the one that seems to permeate here in the U.S., its relatively high degree of open religiosity not withstanding, is that first one.

The thing we need to do though is find PRACTICAL ways to deal with the results of that societally encompassing attack on our conscious and subconscious minds to prevent further damage and heal the damage already done.  When you think about it, society itself makes a pretty convincing neg.

One more twist, society is like a person who assaults you, then with uncanny abilities of persuation convinces everybody that he shouldn't be charged with a crime, reasoning that it was your own fault you suffered injury, because it was YOUR responsibility to know how to prevent or successfully repel any attack on yourself.  It's amazing,  the glaring double standard that we apply to different types of assault, or to the different people who commit them.

I'm no fan of Crowley.  Nevertheless, they're right who say that people in general don't have a clue.  They really don't.  But then, maybe most of them like it like that too.  

[jilola]

Yes!

In exercising the Will we need to be mindful of Love. When these two are no tbalanced all sorts of s**t comes up.

2cents

jouni

[Vartoth]

Dearest seekenergyaz,
Self deprecating thoughts whether solicited or not are not at all unusual.  Everybody has them but not everybody does something about them.  Here is an active approach: affirmations.  Your whole mind needs to be reprogrammed from the subconscious to the superconscious mind.  Find or make up an affirmation that you like and repeat it to yourself often and out loud when possible.  Repeating it in your head is good but more often than not we need to hear ourselves saying the words no matter what subject you're talking about.  One of my favorite affirmation is 'I am a child of God' putting the stress on each word in turn.  It gives me a wonderfull feeling of general well being and security.  No matter what your affirmation and no matter the tone from the most bored and unbelieving to the most passionate it will change your life.  It may not change the external events of people leaving but it will certainly change your attitude about the event.  Even if people still leave you won't mind so much and it may be that there is a reason they are leaving.  It is possible that the people that you have associated with in the past are not the kind of people that will be the most beneficial to you and the course of your life.

Poor Lucifer...I still weep.

[Tisha]

I wonder how many people participating in this forum are still in high school, or not too far out of it?  Or still nursing wounds from it?   Contrary to the Conventional Wisdom that youth is "the best time of your life," your teens and early twenties can be the WORST time.  The absolute WORST time.  I know it was for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It too me almost 15 years to fully release the demons from my childhood.

Part of the problem is that in adolescence, you are thrown into a milieu that is NOT of your choosing.  You are surrounded by thousands of hormonal cretins who simply do not know how to act.  They behave in manners typical of the unevolved, i.e., making you feel worse so THEY can feel better.  This behavior manifests in typical high-school phenomena such as cliques, bullying, and general mean-ness that flies under the radar of the teachers and other adults who think you OUGHT to be having a good time.  Unfortunately, this mean-ness is so pervasive, sensitive kids find it hard even to LEARN anything, besides to conclude that the world is mean.

Then, there are adults who, in their little minds, never left high school.   At age 36, I still meet people like that.  They are very unevolved.  They gossip and make trouble.  They say things to you that make you feel bad.  These people are best avoided.

The nicest thing about adulthood is that you get to choose your company.  I'm SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The ability to choose your company is a very powerful thing.
Look for evolved people in your life.   Drop the notion that they have to be the same age/gender/status/race as you.   You might find yourselves making friends with little old ladies.  Or that old black guy playing chess on the street corner.  Your parish priest.  The girl behind the deli counter.   And so on!

Many of you will need to leave your hometown to be able to chuck your childhood demons.  Just be sure to leave them there . . . don't take them with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As the friendless, class weirdo from the class of '84, I can vouch for the fact that it is possible to get past negative conditioning and find true friendship and true peace, and REAL power.  Part of what did it for me was college . . . I was surrounded by an entirely new class of people.  I did not stay in a dorm or attend Freshman events (itoo much like "Grade 13") but got an apartment and made friendships with upperclassmen with genuine interests and real goals. I found a group of people interested in metaphysics and the occult, and spiritual development in general.  It made a huge difference in my life and my whole outlook on things.  

And today, life is good.   I am still a loner, but it is by choice, as I like to meditate a lot.  However, I consider myself well-developed socially because, even though I like to be alone, I have developed and cultivated deep, trusting frienships with humans, animals, plants,  etc.  That's the kicker:  developing deep, trusting relationships after a life of being pummelled by negativity!  No small feat!   In life, I think this has been my greatest accomplishment.  All other trappings of success (the degree, the honors, the $, the car, blah blah blah) mean nothing without the friends.  http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile.gif" border=0>

And I thank you all for being my "friends!"


Tisha

"As Above, So Below"

[James S]

Hi all,

I might be generalising a bit in my next statement so please feel free to pull me up on it if I'm wrong.
It seems that most of us have one thing in common here(among other obvious things that is) - we have all considered ourselves social outcasts in one form or another.
Tisha, reading your last post was like reading an autobiography. I've also seen almost exactly the same sentements from Kakkarot in another post.

We're sesitives, in one form or another. We're all here in this forum because we feel more and seek more than the self absorbed materialistic general populace. We see more around us because we tend to look on a level above the everyday grind. We also don't like hurting others in any way, which in the eyes of some can make us look weak. We tend to care about others more.

I don't feel sorry for myself for this - I feel sorry for those who can't understand that there is so much beauty in life. I feel sorry for those who don't stop to smell the roses.



James S
(Fate amenable to change)

[seekenergyaz]

I wish I remembered who wrote THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON.  It is an interesting book.  We do those things that James said, but when we get overwhelmed or stressed, we can be anything BUT empathic and fluffy little kindness machines.  We get a bad rap that way.  I really agree with the author that what we could really use is a neutral rap.  Sensitivity neither good nor bad in itself.

[seekenergyaz]

Hi,

A statement used to pop into my head quite a bit whenever I was faced with reminders of my history of being blocked: "It is your CURSE."  I've mostly fought that back now and rarely hear it, but the blockage itself remains.  Other ones that used to be common were: "THEY can but YOU can't, everybody ELSE can, but YOU can't" [this was more in the sense that they "may" but you "may not," it sometimes had the air of a cruel child who was gleeful at the restrictions upon another,  but which statement was indeed with reference to a decree of authority], "THEY'RE allowed, but YOU'RE not allowed," "it's OK for THEM but it's not OK for YOU."   A number of the foregoing would often follow each other in a line, and eventually they seemed to take on the voice of a workmate who showed open hostility toward me, although their original appearance definitely predated that situation .  They tended to have to do with having friends and doing things with people.  It was as though for others it was OK to have those things but for me it was not.  Anybody who got close to me would soon find others withdrawing from them, almost as if in punishment.  There were actually people who told me so, and they wondered why it was.  The people who did the withdrawing always denied it though.  

One time I went into a room where several were gathered and within a minute or two they all left the room.  At that point I didn't think much of it.  I went to the other room where they had reconvened, and again they were all out within a minute or two.  Another round of it and I was pretty convinced something was up.  I felt as though I were accursed somehow.  It was a very painful experience to say the least.  But if I had brought it up I know that they would have denied it completely.  

It has only happened rarely to me in actuality, at least as an adult, but I always have this uneasy feeling that a "What were YOU ever?" tirade is always waiting around the corner to be thrown at me.

Whenever I drive, there is often this obsession that the drivers that I happen to merge in ahead of are saying "NO! NO!  I don't WANT him to merge in ahead of me!  He doesn't DESERVE to come into traffic as though he were my equal!"  That one usually comes in the voice of a local conservative talk show host.

"It is not my holy privilege even though it is for everybody else," seems to be a common theme in my life, finding its way even into trivialities.  Fight as I may to get rid of that feeling, it is dogged and seems determined to plague me lifelong.  Whenever I feel like I make some progress, something happens to throw me back, it often seems to be something external, although getting ill at certain critical times has happened too.

I just can't help wondering if denigrating spiritual forces are involved, as those things would seem to benefit their agenda, that  they could use them to suck me dry.  If this were all my own invention, wouldn't I be rid of it by now?