Attacks

[Tippa]

I was asked by a few members to move my post so that more people could view it.  I hate putting posts in message boards.  It reminds me of talking to an answering machine.  But anyhow, here is my story. And just so it is known, for the trolls on the board, you know who you are, I'm not here to be ridiculed or to be picked apart by your statements.  You can think what you like, but if you don't have anything nice to say, the please don't, simple as that.  I'm here to see what others think and/or to see if anyone can help.

Thanks,
Tippa


*ORIGINAL POST*
While searching for something on the internet I came upon this site yesterday. I started reading a couple of the posts and ended up reading for almost 10 hours; different posts on different topics.

I read one post that sounded similiar to something I had expierenced several years ago. The post was by SiN, and I found it interesting that she's the same age as I was when I had expierenced some of things that she seems to be going through right now.

I don't know what is wrong with me, to put it simply.

I think the best way to put it would be to say that I was "attacked". It was a Tuesday night, the last time I remember seeing my alarm clock it was around 12:45am. I'm not sure what the rest of you refer to it as, but it started happening when my body and mind were half asleep. I was sleeping, but was concious at the same time, so I had no problems thinking clearly. All of a sudden, it felt like my body was being shaken violently. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe. Looking around my bedroom, there was a constant light flashing very fast, it looked like there was a strobe light going off. My heart was beating so fast and hard I thought it was going to pound out of my chest, and there was this sound, something between a loud buzzing and a roaring... kind of like being in a cave with a river flowing above you. It lasted for about three hours. When it was finally over I had never in all my life felt so completely drained. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do at that moment was to die, to just sleep. I was seventeen years old. That was the first time, and the longest time that has ever happened. It happened a lot of other times over the next few months, but by then I had managed a way to make it stop shortly after it had begun, just by using willpower. That was in early spring, March or April, but in October, something similiar but very different happened...this is how I can relate to SiN. I was lying in bed half asleep, when suddenly there were other people in my room. Three of them, all young men. There were two sitting in front of me, and one behind me on the bed. I didn't know who the two were, nor could I see their faces because they were just big black "blobs". But I knew who the third was behind me. They were talking about some girl that they had raped, or were going to rape. I know something was behind me, I could feel the heat comeing from it, as if there really was another body behind me. In "reality" there really wasn't anyone in the room with me. Then suddenly the two in front me like melted away and to replace them was something like a little dwarf and some kind of fairy looking creature. Then I had these visions flashing before my eyes. I was standing on this huge rock, kind of like a mountain or a cliff and there was lightning coming out of my hands going towards the sky, and I remember hearing something say or getting the impression of words in my head, that I had locked them away. But these little guys were not happy and they wanted revenge. I got the impression that I had "locked them up" a LONG time ago... I'm talking about thousands and thousands of years ago. While all this was going on, I had the sensation of the first time something had happened like this. My heart was pounding, I couldn't move or call out for help. This wasn't the first "vision" that I had had, but it was the first one that had lasted for any amount of time. The first one only happened for a matter of seconds and it was this little old gnarled up woman jumping out at from nowhere, trying to reach for my throat. And once again, it started out the same, my heart pounding, trouble breathing, the sound in my ears... those three "symptoms" are always there along with not being able to move or call out for help.

Things went away for a while... I didn't have anything like that happen to me for almost two years. Once in awhile it would start, but I never had any problems of stopping it as soon as I realized what was happening. But, they have recently started up again. About seven months ago, it was around January 15th, it happened, for the first time in a long time. This time there were beings there... and there was this really loud buzzing in my left ear, I was lying down on my right side. I was too afraid to open my eyes, that's never happened before. I just remember that it felt like something was being forced into my head through my left ear. When I "woke up" I had a really bad ear ache for the rest of the day. I didn't have anymore cases until last week... Every night last week it happened, and it was always at the same time.

Just for the record, every instance I described above happened in different homes, and in two different states. I don't do drugs and I rarely drink. So, If anyone has any idea on whats going on, I'd like to hear it... I don't really like posting on boards, so bear with me.

Tippa