Instances I fear are omens, but could also be challenges to overcome

[ForestKnight25]

Sometimes I live in fear. Fear mainly of spiritual omens. You see, for over a year I've been very angry at most parts of the Christian faith, fearful of the concept of Hell, and fearful that the Christian fundamentalists are right and I'm wrong. This was backed up by the fact that I've noticed, throughout my day-to-day life, real-world references to Hell and converting to Christianity. Maybe I'm noticing them more than normal since I'm preoccupied with thinking about them, maybe my thinking is attracting what I'm seeing, I dunno. Here are some of the more frightening examples:

One afternoon, last year I was walking home from high school and I thought to myself "I don't care what others think about me. I affirm I am sure in my own spiritual path no matter what." Immediately afterwards I saw a parked minivan with a bumper sticker that read out "TRY JESUS: If you don't like him, the devil will gladly take you back." I was in shock for weeks after, thinking it was a God-sent omen.

Months later, I was again trying to be confident in my own spiritual path. I was translating random German phrases using Babelfish, since I know a little bit of German. I typed the translation for "leading," then placed it in Google, and among the first text blocks I saw was one that featured the word "Holle," or Hell. I translated the sentence, wary of the word hell, and it translated directly as "Your path leads to Hell." I was again in shock for months, thinking a displeased Judeo-Christian God had sent me another warning telling me to convert or go to hell, and that my personal path is wrong.

Please help, I can't live in fear. I want to keep my own spiritual path and NOT have to be sent to eternal damnation. I don't even believe in the Christian hell.

[sk8chik]

Aww that's terrible that these experiences are so traumatic for you!

maybe my thinking is attracting what I'm seeing

Yes, that's the law of attraction, which is part of karma. You're so engrossed into your guilt regarding diverting from the Christian path that a lot of your reality will surround that guilt, and it makes a lot of sense you would have experiences like this. Your faith is being tested not to follow the standard Christian path, but to have faith in your own path.

Don't give up your inner spirituality. What you believe in your heart is way more accurate and important than what a couple of fear-based signs tell you.

Also, you don't have to reject Jesus just because you're no longer following Christianity (you certainly can if you want to). My personal belief is that Christianity developed after Jesus, and is based on his teachings (in some way....) but wasn't made by Jesus. So they're different things. I think he was a cool dude. And I very much like St. Mary I'm not even Christian by birth.

[DH]

I agree with Sk8chik.  Jesus of Nazareth would seem to be different than the Jesus who emerged in the theology of the church.  For a few years I let myself be trapped by the fundamentalist Christian worldview.  IMHO it's a very narrow view that ignores much of what Jesus taught and is based on a literalist understanding of the Bible that is skewed and even dangerous.  The day I broke free of that was a real Independence Day!  I do believe that the God of Jesus lives in you and will lead you on your path.  Listen for him and follow him without fear and guilt.

DH

[sk8chik]

I like how not being born Christian allows me to look at Jesus from a totally unbiased perspective. The way I look at it, I don't think he was "God incarnate," but I do think his soul was extremely evolved, maybe even from a higher dimension than most earthly souls come from.

Jesus lives in you and will lead you on your path.

That's not in line with my view of Jesus but that's ok! Find your own reality that works for you.

[DH]

My quote was "the God of Jesus lives in you".  I believe God (or whatever you want to call God) is in everyone.  The God who guided Jesus to be an enlightened man will do the same for all of us if we desire it.