This is Not about Belief

[Nameless]

I'm a little confused and I'll try to make myself clear. After reading a large number of topics here and a few elsewhere I get the feeling most people are trying very hard to learn to AP, LD and all sorts of phenomena. Okay, I can see the appeal. But there's a lot of talk about our beliefs being the driving force behind our experiences.

I've only come across a few references here from anyone saying not-so-much. I can't believe that is a complete truth. You see, my first conscious experience certainly came from no belief of mine. I had that typical paralyzing experience with the great big light in the eyes, cold terror through my veins happen. This was back in the early 70s. The only belief system I had was in god and the devil as preached by Southern Baptists. I already knew something was incredibly wrong with those teachings.

So my first conscious thought during that event was that the devil was after me. I immediately discarded that idea as ridiculous and ran like the dickens the moment I finally slithered off the bed. To this day I do not know what happened. But I do know this, the day following that event my side was bruised black as well as three bruises on the inside of each arm above the elbow. My mom asked about the bruises and some thing other than me told her I fell out of the cherry tree. That was a complete fabrication as it just did not happen. I never climbed that tree and it was not me that answered. Along with 'the lie' I was shown a visual of me chasing a rabbit and climbing the tree. The vision was completely fake. I was a kid but I know what happened and I never lied to my mom. My jaw swelled up a couple days later though there was no visible injury. I have something in my jaw that has been there every since and yes, it does show up on x-ray.

Now, decades and many events later I have ideas. There is definitely a reason behind all this 'awareness' or awakening if you so choose. But I do feel put upon. What I would like is any input any of you have to offer. Also I would love to hear from anyone who 'knows' what is going on. And no, I do not require proof as I know that kind of proof, as of yet, does not exist.

I know that's not the best title but it's the best I could come up with.

edited: spelling/grammer

[Szaxx]

Aha one of the 70's revelations lol.
I had no beliefs in anything when I started out in the art. I was around 3 or 4 years old and for some years thought this was common. No belief systems were present and no religious indoctrination was forced upon me.
It came naturally as I stayed awake while not moving my body more out of curiosity than anything.
Your dark experience will have taught you something you'd realised later. If it's to overcome fear or awaken some part of you, it'd be for a reason you should have worked out. The  'assistance', the fabrication may have had a reason behind it, if you told the truth in detail, the result would not need much thought as to where it may have led. The thought of the peers action isn't pleasant is it?

The X-ray image is interesting, it can remain hidden, the 70's were a troubled time for you. 😉

[Nameless]

Aha one of the 70's revelations lol.
I had no beliefs in anything when I started out in the art. I was around 3 or 4 years old and for some years thought this was common. No belief systems were present and no religious indoctrination was forced upon me.

It still amazes me how anyone (other or otherwise) could think such a young child would know what to do with all these revelations.
Just after turning 3 I woke up one morning and had no idea who I was. I mean I knew who I was on an intellectual basis. I knew my family and everything I needed to know. But I could not 'feel' the connection. I spent the entire day trying to reform that 'feeling' connection to the world. It was bizarre. Took me a long long time to understand that what I experienced led me to understanding what happened shortly after with my mother. It gave me the empathy to help her heal even though I didn't understand that on any level I could articulate at the time.

Your dark experience will have taught you something you'd realised later. If it's to overcome fear or awaken some part of you, it'd be for a reason you should have worked out.

Seems you hit this one on the money regarding the experience I had when I was 3. Seems I am rather slow as I hadn't thought of that regarding the original post till you said it.

The  'assistance', the fabrication may have had a reason behind it, if you told the truth in detail, the result would not need much thought as to where it may have led.

You know, I hadn't thought about that but you are right. Had I told them the truth I think that would have worried them beyond reason and set whole other chain in motion. But at the time it felt like an invasion and I didn't much like being controlled. Then again what kid does.

The X-ray image is interesting, it can remain hidden, the 70's were a troubled time for you.

Yes it can and yes they were.

Thanks Szaxx! I mean that. 

[Szaxx]

You're welcome. 😉

[Nameless]

I don't know if you are asking about beliefs, or your experience, or both, but I can say that for me, beliefs are about the only things left once I strip away all the extraneous facts analytically. I think you one can get to the bottom of the truth of any experience and learn from it. Then the subjective mind awakens to "Christ Consciousness" (it's in everyone) and beliefs decide what happens to settle peace as a query of the Soul. Does that make sense? I am saying Earth is a bit like a school where everyone learns peace together, then u can move onto wisdom, spirituality, purpose or whatever you want to call it (Light) which is conscious of God (word meaning life, here).

I much appreciate your thoughts. I know there are those who don't like to use words like 'Christ Consciousness' but I am in complete agreement.

You could strip your experience back to whatever meanings are and are not present as your "Hell" and thusly solve the question of "what really happened," but in terms of believing if u ask me it is about about whether or not the experience was helpful in some way. To me it sounds pretty much karmic, your experience. A friend and I "blacked out" for several hours one night and awoke asking each other what happened. I suppose we could believe in alien abuctions or what-have-you but in the end the question of belief for me was "is there more?" just simple as that. In that, there was potential for positive growth or at least a reconciliation of doubts. I don't think I was meant to know this person anymore. So, the belief settled in my soul the peace of knowing that "that friendship was a close call," in terms of spiritual safety - we were doing a lot of drugs.

Hope that helps.

At the time the experience was in no way helpful to me. But having said that I can see where that experience has led me onward to seek further understanding. I think you show a lot of wisdom and thank you for sharing your experience and your thoughts. It does help. Thank You.