how do you know...

[CRIMINALMIND63]

Please tell us more of your story. What have you been experiencing, hearing voices? Are you getting mental images of some sort. Day dream is also a form of attack.

[V00D00]

hmm... no voices, images or daydreams... but i allways have this feeling that i have to choose between good and evil... like every my move, tough or anything is carefully measured and decided is it good or evil... i don't know do you know something about it but it is almost like a suggestion spell in Dungeons & Dragons... except that i don't hear voices ordering me to do things... it's really hard to explain... sometimes i do something bad, evil... and later i'm sorry for it and decide that i will never do it again... and a few days later somehow i just have to do it... almost like i'm not controling my body and even thougts...
it may be just me... or something else...

[Nagual]

Hum... I think many such problems are linked to one's Ego...  Do you have a strong Ego?

[T_Kman0610]

ARGHHHH~ i hate egos! i missed school today because of it, that damn thing sat up in bed and stared at my mom when she told me to get up and im mad because she thinks im the one who did it! i dont have rememberence as to when she told me to get up for school but i know my ego did it

[CRIMINALMIND63]

You may have a psychic influence on you. The guilt you feel appears that's it's not within you to do something bad. Then you haven't really said what they bad thing is. Some people will tell you having fun is bad. Don't let others opinion decide what is good and evil. A good example of what is good and evil is would you want someone to do that to you.

[Dark Knight]

I'm always cautious of how I reply to these things...

What I'll do is tell you what I experience, then let you decide for yourself if it's happening to you (prefer to keep things open ended as Mick would say).

My attackers do several things. I constantly feel like I'm on display...all my thoughts, emotions, feelings, private moments...Robert Bruce describes something like this in his book, Practical Psychic Self Defense. They have access to me and take full advantage of it.

Normal emotions are supposed to pass, enabling you to move on to something else. My emotions do not pass easily, or sometimes, never at all. You need to be able to feel things out to discern reality. My thoughts are also not allowed to pass (almost like an artificial grudge) and sometimes thoughts are inserted which are not mine.

Emotions and thoughts enable you to discern reality the way your physical senses (sight, sound, touch) enable you to recognize aspects of reality (something feels hot or cold, the look of extreme heat vs extreme cold, etc). When someone starts manipulating your thoughts and emotions, you can't function in reality. Reality is determined for you. This is destructively powerful especially when emotions and thoughts are concerned because the recognition/respect of our emotional and mental well being is part of our identity.

Yes, it's normal to discern right from wrong...but not about everything. Most things are petty, not to be taken personally, and so little in threat you should be able to put your focus on the major parts of life. If you become so overwhelmed by the little things, big life issues begin to suffer. You become hypersensitive and can not function.

People think religious dogma is the only thing that constitutes personal boundaries, but boundaries are more than just that. Pain, for example...there are many different levels of pain: A needle prick causes one level of pain while a gun shot causes another level of pain. Personal boundaries are the things that enable you to tell the difference between what's a needle prick and what's a gun shot wound.

Needle pricks hurt, but you won't die from it and you can walk away. Gun Shots...most people immediately seek medical attention unless it's a graze. What my attackers do to me, and have done to several other people on this site, is adjust people's personal boundaries...the consequence, using the pain example, is that everything becomes a gun shot, there are no needle pricks.

If you're feeling that you need to examine EVERYTHING, including needle pricks, then something is not right. If this continues, you could become at risk of having your boundaries annihilated.

It could be possession, could be psychic attack,.... Do some more investigating, and find the answers for yourself.

I would suggest maybe contacting Tayesin, he may be able to make suggestions that could help.

[kakkarot]

v00d00, there are so many possible reasons why that is, based upon the amount of information you have given so far. however, you should start with introspection, try to figure out if it's YOU who's creating those desires within yourself.

if you are able to negate the possibility, move on to physical influences (ie, stress, change of environment, etc), and then to metaphysical influences which could be causing it (and use some psychic measures of defense to help you).

most likely, it's just a phase of change in your life. most people, at one time or another in their life, start to think things they'd really rather not consciously think. however, the mind is a somewhat finnicky thing and seems to have a "mind of it's own" at times [|)], as most people can tell you (example: imagination).

~kakkarot

[Metal Ice]

Kakkarot,

Good to see you. How've you been?

[kakkarot]

i've been through better, but i'm doing fairly good as of now [|)]. i don't recognize your handle though... but i do think i remember someone else, a long time ago, who was a female around your age and who's occupation was listed as clerical. are you that person?

and, how are you doing? []

~kakkarot

[V00D00]

hmmm... i was thinking... i'm a person who see the world as it is (i know this for a few years now)... i think it is called object view or something like that... i'm deeply dissapointed with people... only very few people care for others... money is the most important thing in the world... it is not good... people turn into themselves and chase their own goals...
i have lost my conscience... nothing is really important to me... i think that soon i will be ready to make anything to reach my goals... and if i do not do it i will die and will achieve nothing in this life....
i live for music and programming (especially games)... and for things that are discussed on this forum... morality and ethics are still strong in me but who knows for how long? in this world of egoism only the strongest (or smartest) can survive... i'm not strong... i hope my cunning will help me to survive and reach my goals...


i think this is what makes me to do bad things (i will not tell you what they are, we all have our dark secrets, even if we do not know them) and my philosophy (live and let live.) is what makes me to feel sorry and be angry... i do not know... i hope that i will finish my game one day... and i hope that people will enjoy my music... and i will try to make both free (or at least very, very cheap) because games and music (and many other things) are here for our enjoyment and prosperity and they should be free..

[V00D00]

...that you're possessed or something similar? i had some feelings and ideas lately that i never thougt i could have...