Can You help?

[Ametrine]

THANK you timeless!
I am going to bed soon, but I will read these tommorow when I am less fuzzy from fatigue. I so apprecialte you taking the time to respond!!

As for the Ametrine purchase..well there ARE no coincidences! Enjoy it!
This is a new angle..I appreciate it. Many thanks and blessings and I will keep you posted on what happens!

[Ametrine]

Hi E1.
I am new here, and thought maybe I could get some help with an ongoing problem.
Every time I meditate, the deeper I go, the sadder and heavier I feel.
Once I was Very deep, and the pain was so bad when I brought myself up, I was literally suicidal..I ended up in the hospital for a week. Now normally, I'm fine. I WANT to meditate, I've read and prayed till I'm blue in the face.  But as I go into a quiet state, I get to a point where I feel like I am just a puddle there on the floor.. a blob of screaming pain.
One Psychic told me I had been a slave in Lemuria in a past life, and that the men would put metal plates over the slave's Chakras so they could not become spiritually aware. She said I had that residue still.
Be that as it may, true or not, I need this to end.I havetiried Chakra clearing.
I've tried wearing Hematite to help block the negative energy I may be picking up..but no dice.
I have worked with the fear factor, also..I thought maybe the sadness was disguising the fear..but I don't think that's it. You know about the BLISS people talk about?? I experience the opposite of Bliss ,the opposite of Nirvana and I have NEVER been that sad (what a weak word to describe it) in wakefulness..even when I was hospitalized.
Anyway, since then, I rarely meditate, and if I do I tread lightly. As soon as I feel the heaviness coming I stop. Now how am I Going to reach my Christ/Higher Self, if I can't MEDITATE?
I am also a student of A Course in Miracles..which ALSO tells you to quiet your mind!
Thanks for listening..