as I grow and become positive, the nightmares enhance

[phaseshiftR1111]

Hey everyone, I am having a problem lately. Off and on before I was on the streak that I am now I would have bad dreams. I feel I have awakening lately to the max. So much has changed. One of the coolest things is my abilities are coming out. Working with my higher self more and taking 100x better care of myself. Did some affirmations for 30 minutes last night on astral projection recall. It took a while for me to fall asleep but when it did all hell broke loose. I remember being in a bus as it was rolling over with my brother,mom, and dad in it. Bloody screams all the way down the hill. I could feel it rolling and every rock we hit. We got to the bottom of the hill and heard horrifying screams. After we rolled I checked on my family and my mom had stopped breathing but came back. My dad had died. Brother banged up. Next thing I know, a scenario played out there was this huge drug deal in this neighborhood. People shooting eachother left and right, mostly gangs. I was looking through crosshairs of a rifle and saw myself with a rifle spraying people laughing. I pulled the trigger and pink misted my own head. Next thing I know I'm in a hospital environment. I forgot why but I was furious. The nurse said she was going to give me an allergy medicine. I got ticked off and said I only needed an IV of fluids. She pinned me down and said no Cody... You need this. Now hold f*** still. I felt the needle insert into me just like I would in the physical. I remember screaming at all of the staff and later came in with a shotgun and blew almost everyone away. More nightmares happenes all night. What gets me is I wouldnt hurt a fly. They felt so "real" I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a train. I almost cried. This hurt me a lot. I did have one cool dream in the middle of this.. it felt lucid like for ten seconds. I got this really cool bike and tricked it out and there was no speed limit. It felt so amazing and I created it from scratch. Took off in it, it was great. I think it was the bike I used to go back to the hospital to mass murder everyone but oh well. Anyway... I put this Topic here because I been awakening as of lately. Really see the good in life. Excited for storm season to come up. These really hurt me and I can't seem to become aware enough that I'm dreaming. Those affirmations helped my dream recall but I wish I would have never done them.

[Xanth]

All I can suggest is that awakening isn't an intellectual process.
It's kind of like being cool in high school... if you had to tell others that you were cool, then you probably weren't.  It's not about acting or saying you're awakened.  It's simply what you are... It's intangible.

In any case, awakening doesn't remove you from a bad day/week/month.  

[phaseshiftR1111]

Xanth I totally understand what you mean. I just mean I seem to be awakening more and more and it's opening up more stuff for me. The more I let go so to speak... I never really understood the "reaching enlightenment" thing. I just seem to be a lot more in tune to things I already knew because I am taking action so it's opening more stuff for me.

Hope you are good!

[Szaxx]

Pandoras box is opening and you're already in the show.
TAKE CONTROL!
Grab the first thought of something being so against the real you,  that it wakes your concious awareness way out of the dream state.
Then change everything around you to how YOU KNOW it should be. It's a shout of NO! and a thought of stopping the scene dead like it's frozen in time. Then to put things in order, be yourself and change it all by removing the things that offend the you within. Be brutal, it had to be commanded.
Do this and you'll never look back.
Don't take these nightmare situations on the chin. They'll get at you later in life. It's now time to kick butt and stand up for who you really are, show the box it's not Pandoras, it's Codys to control.
You will understand the hidden message by doing this.
A friend...

[Astralzombie]

Cody, you have too much knowledge and experience to be letting these get the better of you. At least your being honest though and it helps others to see that even though you are regularly having negative experiences, you are still willing to face them.

One day you will turn that corner (soon I hope) and this will definitely help put an end to many of your anxiety issues. Just remember that you are not alone when it comes o this and I too had a lot of "negative" experiences in the beginning.

Best of luck to you my friend and stay safe chasing then storms>

[Lionheart]

 Part of "awakening" is confronting and dealing with all parts of "I". You can't have the good, without the bad and the ugly as well. 

Unfortunately it's part of the package. But there are many lessons taught there as well. 

[phaseshiftR1111]

Thank you for the replies Xanth, Zombie, Szaxx and Lion.

Zombie- Thank you man it means a lot. I know I beenh doing this since I was 18 and I will be 23 in March. I know it's past traumas I have not dealt with correctly and they are showing in my dreams. I did some emotional release work tonight about a few things I have built deep inside me and it needs to be released. I did well. I'll keep truckin with this. I keep learning. 

[DreambreaX]

can you explain more in details what do you mean in awakening.

There are lots of awakening such as Kundalini awakening, Ajna / Third eye awakening, etc etc