I can't relax so I can't meditate

[kajaLove]

hiya

I would very much like to start meditating ( I realise meditation in itself is relaxation but...) ,but I'm having trouble becoming relaxed.It is as if there are butterflies in my stomach  
Are there any methods(perhaps a meditation solely for purpose of relaxing your mind and body) that would help me?


cheers

[Tom]

Not a problem. All you have to do is sit down, close your eyes, and be aware of being tense. Just watch it with an attitude of curiosity so that you will know all the little details of what ways you are tense. Curious observation is the key. This causes the sensations you are watching to change. Something to watch for is that if you have been really tense for a long time then that can become familiar. Change, even relaxation, can feel threatening at first. If you keep going with watching with curiosity that helps get through this stage.

[BirdManKalki]

This sounds silly, get a Long stick and find a balancing point on your head. Balance the stick so you can see it's end in front of you, look at the stick, or close your eyes and feel the stick. This is good for posture aswell, after awhile you wont need the stick.

[J.K.]

Hey kaja...  

I may be able to provide a few tips.  Some that have been passed onto me, which I feel valuable, might help you too.

In many ways nervous tension can be thought of as an emotion or perhaps more specifically a suppressed emotion.  Perhaps we're aware of a deadline coming, but rationally realizing we've got something on our plate that we have to handle now we subconsciously repress the other.  Sometimes we're even also successful at repressing it.  The result can be anxiety that 'we do not know where it comes from.'

It's important to remember though that there is no such thing as a right or wrong emotion.  For that reason statements like "you shouldn't feel that way" make no sense.  Again, an emotion doesn't have a right or wrong.  An emotion just "is."

Emotions are just like people though.  If we try to suppress them they will fight for their existence.  When they do we often become sick (i.e. suppressed emotions).. and they can also create a lot of anxiety.  That said, in order to deal with this here's what I do...

At the beginning of meditation (which is a time I've set aside just for me) after sitting down and relaxing I take a few deep breaths and try to calm my mind.  Then I gently ask, "Okay gang - who's there?"

After that I let whatever emotion is inside of me rise to the surface, again realizing that there is no such thing as a right or wrong emotion.  An emotion just is.  When it rises I acknowledge it's existence and after I'm sure it knows it's been recognized I ask it to give me a small break for a while - just some time for myself.  Then I'll ask the same question again - "Okay, who's there?"  Once again just let whatever emotion is inside you rise - acknowledge it - then let it fall."

You'll find that after doing that whatever emotions you happen to have inside yourself will give you some time for yourself.  
Eventually you'll ask "Okay, who's left?" - and you'll find there is no more answer.  They just want to be recognized.  Once they give you this moment of peace then you can enter into your meditation without the stress of them bothering you.  Just sit there and relax - focus on your forehead - and then watch your thoughts just as you might have previously watched for whatever emotion was rising.  As a thought rises watch it's movement - then watch it fall.  After it falls look for the next thought..  Will the thoughts stay at bay or will there be others?  If there are others, again - just let them rise then let them fall. - Once you become an observer to your own thoughts you'll be well on your way.  Moreover, as you become the observer to your thoughts you'll prolly notice increased gaps where there is no thought.

Once you get into this state it's kinda like riding a bicycle.  All of a sudden you'll just be 'doing it."

Anyway - hope that helps.  I feel it helps me.  Talk to ya later.  And cheers!  

[mactombs]

Wow, JK, that's an amazing approach to meditation! I've got to try that...

[Boogie Woman]

There are also Progressive Relaxation techniques.  You mentally check out your body parts from head to toe & relax each one.  If you're really stressed, you can go thru each muscle group to tense & then relax each one.  For example, you would ball your hand up into the tightest fist you could make & then breathe out & relax it until it's limp.  If one part is particularly resistant, then do the tense & relax thing several times for that part until the stress is gone.  Good luck.

[You]

Have some nice tea, make sighs of relief, relax. Breathe, don't focus on the breathing, just do it a bit.

[andonitxo]

hiya
I would very much like to start meditating ( I realise meditation in itself is relaxation but...) ,but I'm having trouble becoming relaxed.It is as if there are butterflies in my stomach  
Are there any methods(perhaps a meditation solely for purpose of relaxing your mind and body) that would help me?
cheers

If your feeling is something implanted since childhood you should check your believes, especially family believes, to see if they're affecting you. A father repeating "don't waste time" all your childhood long will make you feel unconfortable on adult age if you just rest (i.e. time waste).

Give up excitants, exciting tv shows, animal protein,... and the like. Ah, sugar, also.

[redcatherine]

hiya

I would very much like to start meditating ( I realise meditation in itself is relaxation but...) ,but I'm having trouble becoming relaxed.It is as if there are butterflies in my stomach  
Are there any methods(perhaps a meditation solely for purpose of relaxing your mind and body) that would help me?


cheers

why not try yoga or other physical exercise before meditation
but when you are done with the physical work
don't lie down on a yoga mat
try sitting up  in a comfortable chair with arms
even a good long stretch on the floor will help the body relax

[data]

kajaLove,

I am going to advise you to do the exact opposite of orthodox meditation. That is if you can't slow your mind down - then run faster than it.

Rather than doing a sitting meditation. Do a movement meditation(yes, they exist) all meditations are facilitated by concentration. I recommend a shamanic dancing meditation. Get yourself some of those skinned drums and beat on them with a single rhythm, synchronized with your breathing or heart beat, and concentrate on that rhythm - lose yourself in that rhythm and gradually increase the tempo as you go into a trance-inducted state.

You can also buy pre-made drumming or shamanic drumming tapes to aid your meditation. Another form of meditation I can recommend is rhythmic dancing. This is just a variation on the drumming.

Here's some articles on drumming meditation:

http://www.drumjourney.com/spirit/index.htm
http://healing.about.com/od/drums/a/drum_meditate.htm

I suggest you do this kind of meditation first and later you can try the more orthodox yogic meditations. By then you will find it much easier to relax and enter into altered states of awareness.

[Souljah333]

all the replies are useful, and should be pursued at some point...just as a challenge.  You should not allow the energy around you to drastically define who you are (eg: hyper), as it will/does over time without thought.

I'm having a really difficult time lately reading the posts (here & there), because of my understanding of manifestation and the intense power of words.  To me people get most "out of sorts", when their "belief system" is challenged in way, shape or form. Basically you are confirming the fact that 1) you have a problem and 2) that problem is "you can't relax". I urge you first to stop thinking/speaking in the negative, and second to look outside the box. Think of a cat sitting in front of an aquarium telling a group of fish..."I can't swim". I won't get into further becuz I think this paints a good enough picture. We all know cats "can" swim...it's just not in their nature. I agree with Data very much.  I actually opened this thread with the intentions of writing pretty much the exact same thing, and was surprised to find it already mentioned.

Focusing on your energy I will "assume" that you will be more drawn to embracing and exploring your nature as Data and myself have suggested.
however...is it your TRUE nature??? for this reason I also suggest that at some point in time you also explore and raise yourself to the challenge that the others here have mentioned...because it is important to "round yourself out/balance" always. You do not want to be one thing or another.

(something of interest)...
A technique gaining more & more popularity called "raising the kundalini" (which you can google further if desired), but it very much involves shifting and adjusting to a much higher frequency of energy, much like the static-butterflies you speak of, but not having it trapped in any particular area, allowing it to flow through your entire being. It's not a thing to play around with until you're "absolutely" ready...as many have slipped off the edge in the process and had a VERY difficult time getting back on track! I mention this only because...
not only is there another way of "getting THERE", but unlimited approaches to who, where, what, etc you desire to be. (some of the desires are implied/conditioned (not you), and some are natural to your spirit)...YOU can only walk one path at a time (for now).  The hardest thing for most to do is enjoy the path they are on.  
You will know when it's time to change direction.

I attract hyper persons into my life, and it's very interesting the effects they have on me & me on them (balancing relationships), but I am empathetic to your call, and the advice I offer is this...

1) avoid too much sugar.
2) avoid everything/anything artificial!!! (dyes, fabric, people, chemicals, perfumes, nail polish remover, make-up and the like....splenda esp.)
3) match yourself with an opposite if u haven't already (find a mellow friend that u can bond with)...but one that doesn't push, and don't push them....meld when needed.
4) try to avoid television (radio, internet better) your frequency will pull you in more than most...and hold you harder.
5) there are other forms of meditation (getting your mind to stop buzzing)
Running, swimming, DANCING, etc...falling into that zone for you will most likely involve exhausting your body first!

I have a friend (very hyper) that finds juggling an excellent method to balance, zone out, and find the flow at the same time, and it's FUN!
Find something like that, and you're well on your way!

Blessings All Over Ya
333

[father_satans_follower]

Whenever I try to relax, theres alway this feeling, or an urge to MOVE! its as if my cells or my body is like becoming STIFF like a dead leaf, and I HAVE to move!
Any tips?

[Tom]

Try the meditation section at www.Osho.com

He has a lot of meditations which start with physical movement to work with releasing tension and building energy rather than jumping directly to the sit still and be quiet phase.

[father_satans_follower]

Nah. The meditations there dont like good. They are like Yoga Excercises
Any other stuff you know, mainly for RELAXATION?

[data]

Any other stuff you know, mainly for RELAXATION?

Try this:
Bathe in a herbal bath, and massage yourself deeply and intently and sexually, really feel yourself, make love to yourself and bring yourself to the point of ecstasy. Then leave the bath and lie down on the bed or sit upright in a chair. Now, inhale to the count of 7, tense your body and visualise a rose colours light filling your entire body, and then exhale to the count of 7, untense your body, and visualize a blackness leaving your body. Do this for 5-10 min.

You could also do a variation on this on what is called a body scan. Scan your body for tension, and when you find a tense area, do the above for that body part or systematically do the above for each part of your body from head to toes/toes to head.

See if this works for you.

[nanook]

i can't meditate, too
i only try to play with my vision (including third eye) and accept that my body will stay on tension

--

do you know web resources about ways of 'shamanic' dancing?
i know one way of dancing in a group, doing complex moves and singing. they called it TA KE TI NA as this is one of the rhymes that represents the steps of movement and footsteps and clapping...

i am just not motivated to do it alone. we did it for one or two hours to get in trancending states. and we had a drumer and two vocal leaders.
i hope new techniques could motivate me to do something silly as jumping around, alone for two hours ....

(i will study the OSHO site)

[data]

i hope new techniques could motivate me to do something silly as jumping around, alone for two hours ....

Why can't you do this? All you need to do is move with your natural rhythm, just let yourself go. If you do it in your own privacy, it's not silly.

I don't know many web resources, other than the the ones I mentioned earlier. However, I would imagine the techniques are similar to what I've prescribed already.

The whole point is to shift your awareness through movement.

As for meditation. "I can't meditate" What is the problem you are experiencing with traditional meditation. Tell me your routine, I might be able to help you.