Self conscious? Being aware of yourself at all times.

[AstralCody]

Hello AP.

I just wanted to throw out a quick question here...

I am extremely aware of my body... my voice... my interactions with people... you name it. I always thought this was a bad thing but a doctor I talked to a long time ago told me that back in the caveman days, people like me were the ones who survived the longest. On the other hand though it drains me.

Here is a LIST of examples of what I am talking about. Can any of you relate?

1. My voice. EXTREMELY aware of my voice and how I will sound to others. Sometimes I even modify my voice and don't use my real voice. I do this because back in middle school when I played basketball I was a guard. Everytime I called out a play everyone would laugh. I sounded like snuffaluffagus to them I guess lol. I laugh about it now... But I still find myself modifying my voice because of that incident way back in middle school. I will be 22 in March... Long time ago. I will modify my voice and think I am covering up for my voice the people laughed and teased me about. Only to find out they will say something like "Are you okay?" It's obvious they can see right through me doing this. I don't know why I do it...

2. The way I walk. "Am I walking normal?" "What if I walk weird?" Again... I change the way I walk and I'm sure I look pretty funny trying to modify the way I walk.

3. My surroundings. When I go out anywhere, I know what everybody in the room is talking about. My senses heighten like crazy. The air gets thick... I go into defense mode. Why is this?

Instead of taking a medical approach on this since all everyone tells me is "Social anxiety." Well I have known this since I was seven. I am curious though... Am I wired to survive like that one doctor told me? Am I more in tune to the non physical than I think I am?

Hope you all are well!
-Cody

[Bedeekin]

I would love to say you are in tune with your nonphysical... but I think this would just be an enabling tool for you to feel better about your self analysis.

The truth is... you care a little too much of what people think about you. The worst thing about this, is that 99% of the time you are probably wrong about peoples perception of you.

You could put this totally on its head and try your hand at acting or performing... then you are in complete control of 'acting' the way you want.

But what you may need to do is ask yourself why do you think these things.

1) You already realise that you are doing it... so why you are drawing attention to yourself?

2) Why would you think that you are walking funny? Do you look at people who you consider to 'walk funny'? If you don't then why think others think this... and if you do then why do you think others think this?

3) you probably don't. I assume you must think that they are talking about you to get defensive. Why would they be talking about you? What is so special about you that makes every person in the room make you the centre of their universe.

Do you not think that maybe many people think these same things about themselves, but to a lesser degree... or maybe more? We are social animals... we tend to internalise when faced with large groups... most people do this.

[ChopstickFox]

Everybody has different degrees of self image/confidence/sensitivity. I know I walk weird. People tell me all the time. It used to bother me, but there came a point that I just said to hell with it and that it wasn't worth my energy stressing. Yeah, I say that like it's that easy, but I know it's not. Phones stressed me out like crazy because I hated the sound of my own voice. Oh, and if I got an answering machine, I'd hang up about 5-10 times until I finally got enough courage to leave a message. But it just took me doing it over and over (working as a CSR for several years will do that I guess...) I'm not bringing my personal experiences up to make it sound easy or anything. I know it's hard and I hope the best for you. But this same thing affects nearly everyone out there, at varying degrees, even if they don't voice them. I laugh now thinking that I just reached the point that I don't give a excrement, but that would be a lie, too. Everyone has their insecurities.

I've always wanted to defend my walk by bringing up the Ministry of Funny Walks, but I haven't grown enough balls yet. >_>

But really, it's amazing what people don't care about.

[MistyW]

I think we all have some degree of being self conscious about the way we appear to others. I would say some people are concerned more about it than others, not saying it's all a bad thing, but I think spending more time around people, knowing that everyone around you is a human being just like you, and they aren't likely to eat you up or tear you to pieces. being tense all the time would waste effort when it's the time to actually be alert for nonphysical presence. But maybe you do have more of a 'sensitive' perceptions that allow you to pick up on other people, which is why you would feel the air is thick. 

[Bedeekin]

But really, it's amazing what people don't care about.

So very true.

[Lionheart]

 I like to live by the adage "Judge not, lest ye be judged". But I do have to admit that I really can't get onboard with the devil horns in the forehead implants or the giant O's in guys ears. 
Those make me question why, why would you do such a thing to yourself? 

[Stookie_]

I think I'm just echoing what everyone else said, but I'll say it anyways: Being self-conscious can be OK at times, but during social situations it almost always makes it awkward. It's normally because we're afraid of judgement and try to form a picture of what other people are observing... and often it's wrong and just leaves us feeling awkward for no reason. The trick is to stop analyzing everything and getting the voice in your head to shut up. Be confident in yourself and don't care about what other people think... people pick up on that confidence and completely disregard any shortcomings. You know, the goofball with the hot chick.

[Chaki]

You're still young at 22 years old. I will tell you that at 28, I'm infinitely more confident than I was at your age, and I care less what people think of me than I ever have in the past. It's very freeing to be comfortable with yourself and just be.

It didn't just happen though. You have to continually make a conscious effort to become a better man, to work on your social skills, and to be truthful to yourself. You're not happy that you have social anxiety. Admit it to yourself that you don't want to be this way, then work towards becoming more social and charismatic.

The only way to do this is to confront your fear. Push your limits, continually place yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to improve yourself, knowing it will suck, but doing it anyway. After a while, the situations in which you used to feel uncomfortable will feel normal, and one day, you'll look back on your past self and feel like a new man. A better man.

[Szaxx]

I don't really have issues. I won't wear pink, or dress like a woman. That's obviously true for most guys 50+.
I used to get ridiculed for a daft running style, when the idiots actually tried it they could run twice as far. Sensibility where its due though. I always think those stupid ' got to have the latest trends' followers are totally mental. Why look good and die of pneumonia in the freezing cold? Mental....
As far as self awareness in everything you do, this really helps you think in perspective of when you're NP. The thoughts while assessing a situation will be made wisely and you'll get the desired results. A happy go lucky attitude will be almost useless and communicating any details...
Imagine an advanced entity reading you. Concise thoughts... or whimsical thoughts....
Id give up if in the latter and find stability in the prior.
Don't overdo it, most (physical) people don't give a monkey anyway. Stay alert and rationalise yourself. Outside of this it doesn't matter.

[majour ka]

I think its completely normal to be self conscious. Look at all the fake silliness and the fantastic life people try and portray on face book etc.

Ask your self the question, "how would life be if you didnt have to impress anyone...."

The answer is you dont.

Its great that you are so insightful about what got you thinking this way. I cannot stress this enough, but I got fed up with suffering so I went to see a CBT specialist and wow!!! changed my life !!! Helped me really understand my thinking and manage my anxiety I used to suffer with so bad.

"Cognitive behavioural therapy" it is amazing!! and if you are interested in the workings of the mind its really interesting.

But really I wouldn't worry too much. 

[Mr.Flip]

isn't self consciousness the 1st step towards other consciousness?
i mean if you cant even become conscious of yourself then how do u expect to be conscious of anything, I'm not saying its a good thing I'm just adding that i think its necessary to be self conscious in order to have a care of any other awareness,

if u cant even be conscious of yourself then Ur just a walking mindless drone, but then if you become too selfaware you'll turn into a gainful being lol irony

[majour ka]

isn't self consciousness the 1st step towards other consciousness?
i mean if you cant even become conscious of yourself then how do u expect to be conscious of anything, I'm not saying its a good thing I'm just adding that i think its necessary to be self conscious in order to have a care of any other awareness,

if u cant even be conscious of yourself then Ur just a walking mindless drone, but then if you become too selfaware you'll turn into a gainful being lol irony

I agree it has to play its part, its part of our self awareness. But also good to work towards finding a balance nd focus on other things I belive 

[Sarahinthesky]

In the past year or two I've had a heightened sense of self awareness, and at points its been unbearable.  Ive gone through a shy stage, and a more self concious stage in high school....but this I have to say is different. 

I'm constantly PETRIFIED that I've offended someone, or will.  Sometimes I talk in circles trying to dig myself out of an imaginary hole I've dug myself into.  I've considered that maybe I'm more petrified of having someone not like me. 

[Lionheart]

In the past year or two I've had a heightened sense of self awareness, and at points its been unbearable.  Ive gone through a shy stage, and a more self concious stage in high school....but this I have to say is different. 

I'm constantly PETRIFIED that I've offended someone, or will.  Sometimes I talk in circles trying to dig myself out of an imaginary hole I've dug myself into.  I've considered that maybe I'm more petrified of having someone not like me. 

Congratulations, you are growing and maturing!

You are also starting to understand that this life was made for others, not self and in that you have become aware of other people's presence and feelings.

Just don't overdo it though! 

[Barnowl]

I can relate to some of that...

Sounds to me like you're an over-active empath

I wonder if this helps...

http://www.psychicbutsane.com/empathy/is-overactive-empathy-ruining-your-life

I'm not saying that you are an over-active empath (I could be incorrect, of course) Just sounds like it

Hope this helps