Self Control

[heter]

Living with grandma is been seriously pushing my limits of self control. At times I find it sis impossible to keep my rage inside. Does anyone know how I can control my anger? That grump is f.... evil I swear.

[James S]

Hi Heter,

Just learning basic meditation techniques here will help a lot.

This is where I started.
I was in a failing marriage, at a point where I was seriously losing control of my emotions because of a woman that was a very angry person, who was provoking me into anger a great deal.

I learned basic calming and relaxing meditation techniques that simply focused on something inside of you rather than outside of you, such as paying attention on your breathing, counting backwards from 10 to 1 then back up again. Little things that keep your mind focused on something non-emotional.

When you start turning inwards like this, you start to become more objective, you see the emotions that you're having, but you don't feel them as much, so they don't take hold of you.

It does take a bit of time of practicing this until you get to a stage where you can let go of your anger, so in the mean time, when someone seriously p*sses you off, walk away before the anger takes hold.

Regards,
James.

[heter]

Hi Heter,

Just learning basic meditation techniques here will help a lot.

This is where I started.
I was in a failing marriage, at a point where I was seriously losing control of my emotions because of a woman that was a very angry person, who was provoking me into anger a great deal.

I learned basic calming and relaxing meditation techniques that simply focused on something inside of you rather than outside of you, such as paying attention on your breathing, counting backwards from 10 to 1 then back up again. Little things that keep your mind focused on something non-emotional.

When you start turning inwards like this, you start to become more objective, you see the emotions that you're having, but you don't feel them as much, so they don't take hold of you.

It does take a bit of time of practicing this until you get to a stage where you can let go of your anger, so in the mean time, when someone seriously p*sses you off, walk away before the anger takes hold.

Regards,
James.

Thanks, I guess I kind of new the answer, more meditation. I just needed someone else to say it. Thanks.

[OrionsDream]

When someone makes me get angry, instead of sort of doing what you did, and trying to not let it take hold, i change it all together.
I actually can make myself feel sort of either pity for the person who is doing something wrong to get me mad, or, humor at how this person cannot get me mad, no matter how hard he/she/it tries. Or just laugh at this person's ignorance.
Of course if they have a right to be angry at me, well then i would just feel terrible, but i like to keep those situations to a minimum  

[Wizard of Light]

Meditation is wonderful, but does take time for the effects to kind of "build up".

I would also recommend allowing yourself to experience the emotion - say you are truly furious with gran.  Walk away to another room, but rather than stifling that emotion so you won't throttle her, close your eyes, allow yourself to feel the anger (what physical sensations it brings out in you, etc) and then hold that emotion for a moment.  Take a deep breathe and appreciate that this emotion is there for a reason, to make you aware of something.  Don't then get cranky at yourself for being mad, as this is part of the physical human experience.  I like to tell myself, "OK, I've experienced mad now today, I need to experience laughter (or excitement, or whatever), to balance my day!"

You may think I'm crazy but this does work!

[CaCoDeMoN]

Hi!
As I said on many other threads the Vipassana meditation was best for me when controling anger. I can give you the link to a book that explains it with great simplicity and with no useless mysticism.

[OrionsDream]

Awesome, like i said in the other post, please send!

[OrionsDream]

thanks caco!

[Kenneth]

Hello Heter,

I have used EFT for the past year or so, with great success .... It's simple, and it's free

www.emofree.com

[Greyfox]

When someone makes me get angry

I beg to differ.  No one can "make" you get angry.  At most, they may offer you an invitation.  It is your choice whether or not to accept.

Back to topic--anger is merely another manifestation of fear.  I suggest you look within yourself, find out what you fear, and transcend that fear.

[Greyfox]

When someone makes me get angry

I beg to differ.  No one can "make" you get angry.  At most, they may offer you an invitation.  It is your choice whether or not to accept.

Back to topic--anger is merely another manifestation of fear.  I suggest you look within yourself, find out what you fear, and transcend that fear.