dedication to one path

[Chaos Mage]

"He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."
does that then mean...?
"He who lives by faith, dies by faith." ??
Or "He who lives by faith, lives by faith."??

I don't know.
Certainly, in my hectic child life, I experienced things that no ordinary person ever would.  Mostly because they don't focus the supernatural to the point that it manifests.
So now I'm thinking, what do I do?
Do I devote myself to one path?  Ah, but I already have, chaos magick, yet chaos magick in itself leads to the construction of a path that becomes something else.  The point of chaos magick is being able to switch between those particular paths, unfortunately, I've discovered that it doesn't work that way.

We have Christianity, in which, the person begins as an abused child suffering immensely yet having full confidence in Creator God whom they know and trust.  Gradually, that trust and link to Creator is shifted towards Christ through intensive brainwashing and abuse.  And eventually, the link with God is broken and they are left without a source of energy, and only the truth of Christ will prevail.  Often, on their journey to that broken point, they will cast great magicks, achieve prophecies and powers unknown to others.  When that link to God is broken entirely, they become a being of faith, and here I am looking at it from the standpoint of the Christ to not exist.  They put their whole faith into Christ, and will do one of two things...
1. die a horrible death and become some form of ghost or spectre
2. become like Christ and live the prophecies of the Bible, fulfilling great deeds in the Earth simply through prescence

On the flipside of that, where a physical human becomes an ethereal spectra, on that flip side we have the Buddhist teaching.  So whereas with the Christianity we see people being mislead to believe all kinds of crap about Christ when in fact the truth is much more sublime and less complicated.  People who worship Christ become faith beings, so to speak, and they lose their physical body and become, like a ghost that people can see.  The religion is a strategy, and it teaches that at any given time you can return to God with the fullness of your being.  The joy of returning to God after a bout with the satanic emblems of suffering and blood associated with the Christ is something that I have yet to experience, but rather than give myself to the nether entirely, I will certainly try to worship Creator Spirit and return to God as a complete spectra, as, I have already experienced becoming a spectra and then gradually returning to the flesh state.  After which, without a link to Creator directly as a soul component, you are much easier to kill!!

So the Buddhist teaching then shows the person practicing it the futility of meditation, the needless waste of energy on existence, the sheer foolishness of trying to comprehend anything at all.  That, is where wisdom discerns and offers truth, and I have heard fully grown men speak in little shacks where smoke rolls, "The Shadow says, 'there is no truth'".  I've heard it and can verify that it is true, however, in saying that and making that admission, we verify that "All is truth" and "Life is truth."  and that "The Shadow is a liar."  Which makes sense to me, yet I'm not willing to give up on so important an ally in my quest of magick.


And on the other side of all of it, we have Aleister Crowley!!  Yes, I'm sure that spiritual people are tired of hearing about Crowley and his perverted sex and sinister creations of magick and all the horror and apostacy that he wrought upon the Earth.  Yet, if you care to actually read about Crowley, or rather, to not pay attention to what others say about him, and to actually read his books, you see that he too taught a pure way.  While I can not speak on the matters of child sacrifice, I can say that Crowley's Thelemic system was quite good all around for teaching the devoted practicioner the full weight of what is possible.  Due to my link to Crowley, I practiced magick as a young babe, even right from the crib.

Which brings me back to chaos magick.  Is chaos magick a viable path, or is it a mish mash of horrid things and debauchery to the religions of the world?

Well, I certainly believe that a chaos magick can cast shadow at dawn, and only he himself will be darkened by the act, yet at noon, he may opt to cast Shame and bring an enemy of his to ruin, and by night, to simply meditate in perfect peace while at cosmic harmony.  The day in the life of anyone has so many, so very many opportunities for things to happen and for life to alter itself in any way that it possibly can!

But devotion to a practice, even for the duration of the ritual or rite, this is crucial to achieving the benefit.  For a chaos mage, it means retaining the flexibility of his Nirvana all through  his or her life, so that he can effect reality by changing the vibration of his inner state, simply by being existent.  The faith of a chaos mage is not into this or into that, it is firm, a fixed constant of limitless force.  In terms of chakra, we could say that the base pleasure of the sexual organs ascends along a path of increasing energy until, at last, that energy becomes a full force of awareness, with all astral planes or shadow spaces thereby gained and absorbed to the limit of which the mage is capable.  So where the pleasure is sexual and a thrusting motion, in the case of a single orgasm, we see how our whole body trembles and the visions of base pleasure abound in our consciousness as the orgasm takes full effect.

Pleasure, and then?  Well whatever, water ever, yet, will, courage, to the heart it becomes faith, and to the voice it becomes courage, and so on to the crown chakra where it defies all limits and truly transcends to the heavenly kingdom by which you are adorned, whether by the Christ you are as king of your soul and astral paradise, or as a Buddha that defines himself according to the gravity of his full incarnation as an unlimited soul.

So when we devote ourselves to a single practice, we do not have to worry about counter measures of our enemies rooted in the nearby etheric space, or we do not worry and fret about what it is going to do.  There comes a time when one has enough of science, and enough of Crowley, and that, is where you develop your meditation custom fit for you, yourself, as king of you.

While the Bible is good for study, the dictionary does just as well.  Any book is worthwhile to read and to learn from.  Unless it's some book of random numbers and equations that make no sense, in which case, it is not a book, but worthless garbage.  It is the dedication, that persistence, the repetition of the frequency of self control in self's application, that is what makes the difference to the practicioner of anything.  Many people today only want to study science, and yet, they do not do the experiments for themselves due to fear of being cast out of their cliched groups and social correspondences.  Some do, and they prove the experiment as far as they are able.  In reality, science and Crowley's magick are the same thing, yet while one handles the existence as it already exists, the other manifests the true potential of the soul and it's spirits, and wages the good fight for the sake of all human liberty.

We must study to gain knowledge, yet, in my experience with phantasy, even by age ten, you have enough knowledge that you will learn automatically anything you want simply by visualizing and thinking about anything you want.  You know you have made progress in your meditation when you choose your own thoughts, and gain the full energy and density of dimension of those thoughts.  It is not hard, actually, but to think a full thought might require hours of meditation on the same thought, to fully think it through.  A thought is not some sub atomic flux that has no basis in science, same with belief.  When you believe something, modern people say it means convincing yourself of a fictional reality, yet for those with refined faith, it is the benefit of having an internal power that no man can control, and when based in the faith in truth and love, or, just true love, that faith becomes invincible, and no man can take your place away.

When you think, even just thinking can be a dedication to a practice.  It is part of meditation.  Many people are cutting off their own thought processes, that is not the point of meditation.  It does have it's place, as in chaos magick, when you paradigmn shift rapidly between several different religious views and personalities, and then regain your natural neutrality and enter a quiet night of coffee and cigarettes.  Personality is effected by your thoughts, and your physical acoustics can also be effected by your thoughts.  As a proofing of this, next time you go to sing, use your general focusing to shift between low and high chakra in a simple OM test.  Unless you are very hard based and have little ethereality, ??  then you should get the effect that your voice can go higher if you focus on the higher chakra.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough.  The point is dedication to one practice, gain the benefit, then move on after mastering any techniques which present themselves.  Keep your techniques active, and use them regularily once obtained. 

I see that I've been focusing too much on the theory and not putting in enough practice.  That can all change, in one simple "I AM", perhaps it's time to return to God.