Problem with (maybe) meditation

[Le_Mirage]

Hi everybody. Excuse me in the first place if you don't get right something of what i'am writing: i'am italian and i'am not so skilled in english. I'am a an old lurker of Astral Pulse. It's a long time since i visited this place the last time but i got a question for you...i don't know even if this is the right section...

I have praticed the breath awareness metod of meditation for about 6 years. Since i'am a master in laziness, i was never regular in my work and did not achieve any big results. I have used NEW, even, for almost a year. But i put it down from about two years, maybe more.

Even if i have not achieve any results, in the last years i observed a little change in my mind, even if i cannot say that it's due to my meditation work. I will try to describe it to you as better as i can: it's nothing so much strange, but with time it is become a little concern of mine.

It's like i was become able to sense the "movement" of my mind, expecially in "response" to my thougts. Sometimes, when i happen to think, for example, to something that really matters to me (something that is connected to something important) i sense some tension in my head, like i was feeling that my brain is "activating" the zone in which this thought is located. This sensation is not painful, but i feel it: i could describe like water, or blood, opening it's way though some "difficult" zone of my head. This happen when i remember something very old, too: it is just like my brain was opening some very unused sector of itself, and therefore i'am feeling some resistance.

In the last time, i found this sensation being active in another contest. I am a very shy and sensitive person, and sometimes some events leave a trace, an obsession in my mind. For example, when i live a situation in which i feel to have commit a huge mistake, it is like the situation itself make some kind of "nest" in my mind, so, even when i'am not thinking about it, the slightest hint that regard it is able to make my mind jump to it, and when it happens, i feel the same sensation i describe above. Like my mind was messing with a "fragile" sector or itself.

I'am a little concern about this sensation, and i wish to know if someone of you has never experienced something similar, and if it is possibile to be a "result" of my meditation work. It is possibile that my training has make me more sensitive to the process of my mind? I know that the brain is not a sensitive organ, so the sensation i feel could not be generated into it. It has to be linked to something else. I fear that it could be even some kind of problem, maybe even a disease.

I have decide to ask you this even because in the last days the process i have describe you above is particulary active. I'am having a lot of "mind games" for personal problems of mine, and i keep on feeling, in addition to that sensation (that, i reapet, it is linked to my thoughts), some deep, disturbing tension in my forehead. Maybe it is something else, but sure it is not an headache. Anyway, my primary interest is to know if anythink of what i told you could be related to my years of breath awareness meditation work, even if not so much seriuos.

Have you got any idea?

[Mydral]

Deep, disturbing tention in your forehead?
Well that might be your third eye. Also the other sensations you feel in your brain might be related to the crown chakra.

And well how I understood it you feel guilt for some events you did or so. And small things remind you of it immidiatly.... well this is how guilt works, or should work. Maybe a bit exessive.
This could be related to your meditation. To know this I'd have to ask you a more personal question.

Before you started your meditations, could you steal without any form of guilt... maybe even kill an animal without feeling anything? (sorry, I know this is rude to ask  )
If so then the meditation helped you develope your personality to the better 


If you ment by "big mistake" nothing bad, just a mistake, maybe in a relationship, ignore the former questions. In that case try to focus your mind away from it, dwelling too much over those is not something pleasant (I know this cause I am like that myself). I am not sure if its related to the meditation.

[Le_Mirage]

Sure, i know that the way guilty works is just a normal psicological process. The point is that the sensation i have is apparently tied with this (and maybe others) process. But i don't think they regards guilty directly: i suppose they are tied to any "strong construct" (just like guilty) of my mind. Another example that often happen is this: sometimes, when a reiceve a particulary hint that make me think to something i don't like (it happens almost  automatically: like a bad memory, or maybe just some "impluse" i refuse for some reason), i use to push my mind away from it, and even in this case, i receive this sensation, just like i was physically stifle my mind for what regards that particulary though.

The "mistakes" i talked about in my previous post are not common mistakes. They are just things that, probably, my subconscious consider wrong for some reason. They regards my behavior with the others, my "moral system" and other things. They are not the point, anyway. I this matter i find them interesting because it is like i got these sensation just when my mind wander in those "sectors".

The sensation i got in this days is focused on my forehead and upper forehead. I could not tell if it is related to the rest, it is just that in this period i got a lot of "mind work", so i mention it. It could be anything else. Maybe it just due to the stress.

I really don't think to have changed in this years of practice. The only difference is really this sensations i have in my mind. My practice was really not regular: only in the last two years (maybe) i got the habit to practice almost daily, with good exceptions  .

[Mydral]

Hmm so your saying you can "feel" that your using your brain working if its tied with strong emotions that you don't want to have, or things you want to forget, or just in general...... (sorry your kinda loosing me with the whole pushing thoughts away etc. I don't understand if the entire experience is something negative or positive)

Well either way I never heard of something like this before. It might have to do with your meditation although I have no clue whats happening.....
Personally I have pressure/tingling between my eyebrows upper forehead constantly and I can increase it briefly or decrease it almost completly. This is my third eye..... which is becoming active.
Now since you describe it all over your brain (I can shift mine sensantions sometimes onto the top of my head) when your thinking I am puzzled. Mine has nothing to do with thinking or emotions or whatever.... I just do it like bending a finger, subconcious focus.

Maybe someone else here knows whats going on more properly then I do. Sorry that I can't help more. Just observe it more I guess.

[astraluminated]

Mirage, thoughts and emotions manifest as energy in the head also. certaint thoughts are related to certaint chakras and these chakras are also represented on the head. I feel it also.
Ego oriented thoughts i feel on the left side of my upper skull and thoughts about sadnes and guilt and depressive thoughts i feel on the right side of my skull. these to side are called the ego-balloon and the super-ego balloon ego is all about me me me and i am the best stuff kinda thoughts and super-ego is the opposite like i am terrible and i am worth excrement can't do nothing right, my live if useless kind of thing. and if your feel the back of your head, means something negative of the past. if it is the front like the third-eye then you need to think less and forgive yourself. But also negative entities usually enter via the third-eye.