Identifying Spiritual Crisis

[monicat777]

I've suspected for a long time that my anxiety/panic disorder was something more than a medical issue.

A few weeks ago I woke up and my mouth said "I'm an empath."  I know that sounds a little strange, but that's exactly what happened.  I hadn't heard this term before, but I understood what it meant.

Upon doing some research, I found that my symptoms were very common amongst those with empathic ability.  
The same symptoms exist within many types of psychosis.

So, needless to say...I'm a little confused.  I guess I want to know if I'm crazy or quite sane!  The line between the two, within the spiritual realm at least, seems thin at best.

Does anyone know what I mean by this?  Do you know of any resources that could help me?
I'm picking up on things all around me all the time...I have no filters and this makes me feel vulnerable and stressed.
I wish I knew more about this or knew someone who could help me with this.  I have no idea how to go about it.
Help!
-Monica

[Rastus]

I know exactly what you mean.

Welcome to the new world.

So how to help?  Grounding Grounding Grounding!  If you are well grounded, than the emotional overload will pass through you and not affect you.  If your ungrounded it builds up, like static electricity in the dryer until your all poofy  

Meditation will help you order your own thoughts.  Then you can learn to discern what is you and what is about you.  I would advise avoiding crowds as much as possible for awhile.  For months I couldn't handle crowds.  I tried 'blocking', but I got headaches real bad.  Now I sort of taste, but don't eat everything around me.  It takes some concious effort sometimes.  I also try and radiate Love and Light, which has a feedback effect.  Most people recipricate at some level, but a few recoil (some people are dark, but they are still affected).  Parks and woodlands are deply calming, and a good place to bleed off stress.

PM or Email me if you want some more thoughts.

-Namaste

[Naiad780]

Certain people affect me like that, especially those I'm close to.  I don't even have to be near them, and if they are having a bad day, I end up thinking that something terrible is going to happen to me until I figure out what's going on.  I usually can figure it out because I cannot trace the anxiety back to anything, and careful inquiries usually reveal that so-and-so had a very stressful day at work, or something depressing happened, etc.

So keep that in mind.  Rastus had good suggestions about grounding.  Do you know how to shield yourself when you're going into large crowds or stores?  You have to be careful to get your shields right (you don't want to filter out too much) but they can be very helpful.

[monicat777]

I don't know how to shield myself.  I have a lot of problems because of this.  I want to get control over it.  I do meditate and I get a lot of strength from that.  But, it doesn't tune these things out...it just makes it a little more bearable.

Another thing, I've just recently woken up to this aspect of myself.  Before I thought I was just too sensitive.  I didn't realize that their was any technical terms for what I was experiencing.  Because of that, my resources were limited. (you cant learn if you don't know what to ask.)

I don't know what direction to go in.  I don't know who to talk to for advice or what books to read. (and I read a lot!)

I'm on medication for this...it doesn't seem to help really.  I am also in therapy.  Fortunately, my therapist is very open minded! Right now I feel a lot of negative side-effects from this.  Are their positive ones? What are they?
Thanks so much for responding!  It's good, not feeling alone in this.
-Monica

[Eol007]

Hi monicat777,

Welcome back to the forums.

Sensitivity is part and parcel of awakening and can seem overwhelming at 1st, but can be tamed (I've been there)! Please be patient as best you can - you will find balance!

Try this protection prayer – it is simple and it works! Start with this rather than trying a 101 different techniques! If you want to try something more complicated then only do so when you feel ready to move on! Do not feel any pressure to perform for yourself. One day at a time and keep things simple OK!

http://www.junecleeland.com/docs/protect.html

Alternatively (when more comfortable) try some of Nita's techniques www.astralhealer.com – 'Removing Negativity' is particularly good.

Also take time to study Robert Bruce's 'Healing With The Heart' article: - http://www.astraldynamics.com/tutorials/?BoardID=8

You will get through this! I respect that it may seem easy enough saying this, but you have to trust that many of us have also been through really difficult times and come out the other end smiling.

Hope this helps?

many blessings,



Stephen  

[You]

Hmmm maybe I'm an empath too, I depend a lot on the feelings of others! Even so, always keep in mind the alternatives.

[dreamosis]

I've found that tuning down the 2nd chakra (genital/sexual center) can help enormously with energy-sensing overload.  As I understand it, this chakra handles emotional energies, and sensations too.  I simply use intent to slow it down and I ground it.

Thanks for sharing.

This morning I had quite a breakdown in front of my wife--an empathic breakdown you could say.  I work for the mass media, and sometimes seeing all the country's pain, the world's pain, and individuals' pain for eight hours a day causes me to melt.  Me, as an empath, I seem particularly susceptible to the bigger, cultural energies being thrown around.  I find myself analyzing the problems in response to the pain and the fear--even though as a spirit, I recognize I can only really change myself.  

If I let myself go there, the pain and fear that I pick up will make me physically tired, and I've quite literally wanted to kill myself to stop from feeling the pain of my father, my family, my partner and even the pain in myself.  

But then I remember to have humor.  For me, a spiritual path without humor is an exercise in masochism.  Humor is the most transformative energy for me.  It helps me step out of pain.  

Thanks again.

-Dreamosis

[Chimerae]

Here's a thought . . . you were an empath before too!  Nothing changed except your consciousness.

Consciousness can be overwhelming.

I don't know if it's possible to "get control" of being an empath.  

"I am" is a powerful accidental truth.  

Some people have empathic skills but it's not the ocean in which they live!  Those folks seem to have the option to turn it on and off and hence have a level of control.

My experience is that if I turn my consciousness of my empathic nature OFF in order to get something done that's impossible with my empathy wide awake, I seem to store awareness as an energy distortion in my energy and in my body.  The trade off seems to be that I can ignore my empathy, but then afterwards I have to be disciplined and conscious about grounding and coming back into personal balance.  It's still PAINFUL to do that.  

Panic attacks, depression, a whole range of icky stuff is my body's notice that I've picked up and stored energy patterns that are NOT MINE!  Or that I'm doing something that's not working for me.

I just try to remember that some newborn infants are empaths born.  They manage it.  

I'm operating from the current assumption that it's not Reality that's unbearable and unmanageable but the bad match of my cultural training (ego development) with what's REAL.  

And that human cultural reality is incompatible with The Big Real.

The emperor has no clothes, but you can still get in big trouble for laughing when everyone else is solemn and respectful.

[bluesky]

Hello Monica

Came across your post and was compelled to respond.  The point made about Grounding is spot on.  I have friends who are highly sensitive and I am as well.  

Have you read the book "Highly Sensitive People"? by Dr. Elaine Aron - if so, I urge you to get it.  Once I read it, everything made sense.  How much time I needed to be alone to recharge, why I was always happier in a 1-1, rather than group session (too much stimulation) etc.  But most importantly, what to do about it. Check out her website:

http://www.hsperson.com

I've also written an article on being a highly sensitive person, which you can read here:

http://www.sideroad.com/Self_Help/highly-people-sensitive.html

Other websites:

Care and Feeding of Empaths at:

http://www.empathsandhsps.com

They also have a membership for $20 - you'll get lots of access to materials, tips, teleclasses and so on.

Also:

http://www.sensitiveperson.com

I hope that this helps.  It's easy to see your sensitivity as a disadvantage, rather than the gift it really is.  If you learn how to nourish yourself - extreme self care is a necessity not a luxury - then you can get the most out of it.

All the best.


Bluesky

[Naiad780]

I don't know how to shield myself.  I have a lot of problems because of this.  I want to get control over it.  I do meditate and I get a lot of strength from that.  But, it doesn't tune these things out...it just makes it a little more bearable.

Have you been working with NEW?  An easy shield is to draw energy up through your feet and into the center of your body while blanking your mind (sorry, there's probably a better term for that somewhere).  That energy inside you is pure and strong, and if you expand it around your body like a bubble, it will push off the negative energy that's "on" you and keep more from going in.  You have to practice, of course.  It's useful to me if I do this before going into crowds.

Another thing I do is to visualize myself in the branches of a tree.  To me, certain kinds of trees have a higher energy that simply doesn't match the negative crap that follows us around in our daily lives.  If I can visualize myself disappearing into a tree and absorbing its energy, the negative energy just flies right by me and I am ok again.

[monicat777]

You all have been so gracious in sharing with me! Thank yo so much..
I have always been very "open".  But only now have I been able to discover, and fully conceptualize, how deeply it's planted.

I've had my ups and downs with my spiritual revelations....But, right now I'm getting a lot laid on me all at once!  It's freaky...but awesome.
The best way I can describe this, is that my "higher-self" and "earthly-self" (whatever you want to call it) have had a head on collision....and I need some help getting comfortable in this new skin.
The new truths that I am learning about energy and life are blowing me away.  I've been on the right track for a long time but it seemed fragmented.  Now, it's all right in front of me.

Does this sound strange?  I know I'm asking for a lot of validation.  It's because this is my only safe-space to discuss all of this stuff.
I'm a little worried too, because I feel myself changing and I don't quite know where this person's place is.

Again, Thank you ALL sooo much!  I don't know what I'd do without your understanding.
-Monica

[Naiad780]

It doesn't sound weird at all.  I imagine a lot of us, including me, would say that we felt similarly at some point and often still do

[joya250]

Yes, yes, and yes.   I completely understand what you're going through.  I guess we are not alone -- and it is so reassuring to hear that.

Thanks for posting this monicat

joya