This is interesting I think
When I was 4 years old (1992-93) my parents used to fight a lot. I had been exposed to the brutality and violence grown men are capable of, via my dad's aggressive arguments, later seeing a more disturbing example on TV (a police officer roughing up a delicate-seeming young woman.) This, combined with what I had picked up from various places about "God" (whom at the time I knew only as huge bearded man in the sky who smites sinners and punishes people with his wrath) left me with a deep fear and loathing of male authority figures. My fear of coming under attack from God, from wayward cops, even from my own dad ultimately culminated in me "manifesting" a guardian to protect me, taking the form of a beautiful, winged girl in a gown. I had a very strong connection to my mom, and as such this maiden was my "mother" when my real mother was away.
According to her official description she was capable of flight (due to her wings,) possessed the attributes of both fairies and angels, could use magic power, and most importantly was capable of releasing a sort of "light-gas" that dissolved fears (and possessed "flammable" properties somehow.) She released this glowing substance when embraced by me. As a result I had attributed her form to, strangely but befitting of her, the various squeeze-bottles and squeezable, pumplike containers I would encounter throughout the house (as well, one time when I had visited the doctor for a check-up, I remember saying uttering something about how the squeeze bulb on the sphygmomanometer (blood pressure-testing device) resembled "a beautiful lady in a black dress.")
The maiden's beauty aspect was attributed to the princesses I would see when watching Disney movies, a favorite type of movie for me when I was that age. She soon became not just one entity, but an entire group of beings I called "the girl pumps" ("pump" referring to their ability to "pump" light-gas...though the name sounds racy by today's standards, bear in mind I had virtually no idea about sexuality at this time.)
By 1994 I had forgotten about the girl pumps around age 6. However, in mid-winter of 2002-03, I had met with a girl I had a minor crush on. As we got closer, I noticed something about her. One night when we were together, I experienced a presence, something I had not felt for 10 years: I felt her energy, her energy matched that of a girl pump, and I saw that in her eyes. Once again, I remembered the beautiful winged maidens, something I practically thank the gods for everyday. This was another life-changing experience with a very strong positive effect on me. Sadly, I lost contact with her when I left 9th grade. The most peculiar thing, I think, was that I encountered this presence exactly one decade after the girl pumps' original appearance. Something must exist beyond what we can see, it has to, and I know it does!
I have felt them, seen them, even sometimes heard them, and from what I have witnessed I can deduct the following about them (many points of reference have been learned during my first encounter with them, in the early-90s. Some of this may seem strange, but it is very true to me and a couple others I have been with.)
- They are stunningly beautiful and delicate, with fair complextion and white clothing
- They inexplicably resemble female anime/manga characters
- They are capable of flight
- Their bodies are designed to create and expel light-gas
- The light-gas is released from the being's hips, when the her abdomen is compressed (this I think may be a sexual symbolism of some kind)
- They can vary their size and height
That is the gist of it. These beings I now call "sakura," (word for cherry blossoms) because they are delicate and lovely. I feel very protected by them, especially my personal "guardian" sakura I call Sakuya (who mirrors the most important of the original girl-pumps back in 1993.) My mom and my best friend have both felt her presence, and both have felt healed or comforted.
For now, belief in Sakuya and the other Sakura is what rings the most true to me, and I feel moved to form a small spiritual community, ideally composed only of me and my close friends who share my interests, which I will call the Sakuric Order.
Sakuya has many "incarnations" like a Hindu deity, her latest is a blonde-haired girl named Claire, also a Sakura (though bear in mind she is not a real girl, but one of my characters. All of my characters are based on something real to me.) I will probably base the Sakuric Order a lot on Hinduism as well as Shinto.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please do respond
Cheers,
-FK25