A need for healing

[reedsong]

It seems like emotional trama will make the other senses stronger.

After my husband died I began having very vivid dreams. I invented wind chimes that use the four frequencies of DNA. I had a healer in Bimini that told me they bridge the connection between the seventh chakra to the spirit world. Funny thing was my husband's name was Seven.

I also found bee products and neurofeedback. My husband was an amazing singer. I view musicians as healers. So I've asked him to help lead me to things that can help others in this world heal so there is less suffering.

I am so sorry for your pain and I too have lost a baby so I understand some of your pain. Please know that God would not have brought these things to you if you were not strong enough to handle them. Always follow your heart and I will pray for your healing and pain to go away. Your baby is an angel now and will be with you in your heart for all of eternity.

God bless,
-Karen

[The Bard]

Thank you Reedsong. My condolences for your husbands death and the loss of your baby. I agree music is very healing. I started teaching myself Celtic Lap Harp after He died.

Actually emotionally and spiritually I feel like I am healing well but my body is still reacting to it. I seem to be going through what I'd call, haunted womb syndrome. My body is acting like it is pregnant with weight gain, milk in my breasts, no periods. I had only bled 3 times last year.

At first my doctor thought it was caused by pituitary tumors but his tests were negative. Now he is putting me through mammograms and looking for cancer and claiming that I am going through an early menopause. All pregnancy tests have been negative and it's been happening to long to be that. My body feels pregnant. I even sometimes think I feel movement in my womb.

I have let go of Quinn and let him go into the light and he is an angel to me but for some reason my body is still having a weird reaction.

[The Bard]

In 1999 when I got pregnant with Quinn the doctor I was seeing acted like I had no business having a baby. She told me that I was to poor and that I could die and insisted that I should have an abortion. I called up the clinic that day and changed doctors.

I should have changed clinics. The doctor I got was so young and pretty. She was pregnant too and I trusted her with my life. When I bled a little she convinced me I miscarried and put me through a D&C (where they scrape the womans uterus.) I quit bleeding and felt like I had a live baby in me. She called me and tried to schedule another D&C claiming they didn't find fetal tissue. I refused to reschedule. A month later I had an exam. She finally convinced me by showing me what she claimed was my dead baby on the ultrasound. She said, "Your body is unique and in your case it is not a good thing." I never understood what she meant by that but all my life doctors have had a thing for my blood. They always want samples of my O- blood.

The night before the D&C I told my husband that I still felt pregnant and didn't want to go through with it. He told me don't do it...Stay home." Then I thought about how she told me if I leave the fetal tissue in my body it will grow like a weird plant in my womb. I decided my womb was just haunted by my wishing I were still pregnant.

I woke up out of the anesthesia and she was looming above me saying, "Guess what you were right. You are still pregnant. The bad news is we accidentally punctured his bag and he has a 50/50 chance of making it." It turns out after they couldn't find fetal tissue she sliced me open from the navel down and put the ultrasound directly on to my Uterus. That is when she found I was still pregnant. She sewed me back up and put me in recovery and concocted up a story that I had been pregnant with twins and one died but she never came up with the remains of the so called twin.

A few days later my sister had had one of her tantrums about me not wanting her to take my daughter to her home in the cities. I was to week in my hospital bed to argue and my husband was to worried about me to argue and he let my sister take my daughter.

A week after the D&C they sent me home. We were waiting for my sister to bring my daughter home when my water broke and my husband rushed me back to the hospital. I usually have long labors that end in C-section so my husband figured he'd wait at home for my daughters return and be back on time for the birth. We were told the baby would probably be born dead and would not survive because he was only 19 weeks along.

When my husband left the doctor drugged me on morphine and I fell asleep. I woke up needing to go to the restroom but no nurses were around. I walked to the restroom holding on to walls and Quinn came out. I near fainted and pressed the panic button yelling for help. The nurses came and said, "He's still alive!" They wrapped him in a blanket and put him in my arms. He had hair already and looked perfect. I begged the nurses to try and keep him alive in an incubator. I said, "He is a miracle baby who survived two D&C's and is born alive because he can and he wants to live. They took him out of my arms saying they were going to clean him up and that is the last time I saw him alive. They called it a Miscarriage.

It is taking me so long to heal from this and it's not just this that is grieving me. My moms family were heartless before and after this happened which added to my grief. Plus the year before I had Quinn I had fallen in love with a man whom I have a strong psychic connection with but we can't be together. So he disappeared for two years. I left my husband (Who I wasn't married to yet) in 1998 and got back together with him 8 months later. When the man I love returned I had been through the loss of my baby and married my husband. So he gave up on me but astrally he is with me quite often.

This is what I am trying to heal from. I am in the worst health that I have ever been in. I gained 200 pounds and it has depleted my health.

I am not depressed and have a sense of humor too but my family doctor and my husband act like I am on the edge of death. I now astral project more than ever and am very relaxed in the astral world but I don't feel like I am dying but I do need to heal.

I use music to heal me through the grief process and I have healed mentally but physically my body is still reacting to the violation the doctors put it through.

On an astral level I have my astral guardian trying to heal me but I know he has kept me from dying more than once through this.