Can someone send me a bit of healing, i want to be happy and optimistic all the time and im stopping beating myself up for not being perfect.
lenners,
You have my prayers. Life is such that I guess we all have our bad moments, but I've found it's possible to stay positive most of the time. I don't know if you believe in God or a higher power or whatever you want to call the Ultimate, but I've come to trust that God can and will use all of the experiences of my life -- good and bad -- to help me continue to evolve into someone who is better and stronger. God even uses our screw ups to make us better, so don't be hard on yourself and your imperfections.
Blessings, DH :-)