funny quotes....Again!

[pyro4571]

those are awesome!

[Euphoric Sunrise]

Maybe i'm really slow or something, but i don't see the humour in this one.

quote:Originally posted by SmileySpirit14


We're all going to die someday so why not just kill ourselves now?

Anyway, the rest of them are good! []

[CptPicard]

Thanks for sharing that with us, I found them really funny []
This one really cracked me up........
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose." [][][]

[SmileySpirit14]

well then heres some more. remember, i got them from www.tbdolls.com

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"

"i souport publik edekasion."
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening-this wasn't it
Last night I was looking up at the stars and I was wondering, where the heck is my ceiling?

God created men first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorroid when its inside your butt?If we are what we eat then I'm easy, fast and cheap

For sale: Parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain
What if this wern't a hypothical question?
I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemys told you that?
Some people have a way with words, while others... erm... thingy.
When I die, I want to go like my Grandad, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming and shouting like the passengers in his car.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don't count it.

I love defenceless animals, especially in a good gravy.
confucius says:
Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have a dirty time
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Man with one chopstick go hungrey

[SmileySpirit14]

these are from www.lotsofjokes.com
its titled 'things that tinkle me off'

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the bonk is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the bonk would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No willy nose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the bonking ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know moron, you bonking pulled me over.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here moron!

[SmileySpirit14]

i found a lot of these recent topics Boring, so i wanted to post this. i figured it went under healing cuz scientists said that when u laugh it's healthy, so....anyway, here:

If you treat a woman like an object thats just wrong, but if you treat an object like a woman thats just disgusting!
How many hot, rich, funny, sweet, guys are out there? Two but their dating eachother.
If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

Ociffer I swear to drunk I'm not God!

Alcoholic slimfast- not only do you look better, but so do other people
We're all going to die someday so why not just kill ourselves now?
What do you say when someone says you're in denile but you're really not?
Practice safe eating, always use condiments
Don't take life so seriously, its not perminant
Some people are only here because its illigal to kill
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of grump
If quizes are quizical what are tests?
As I said before, I never repeat myself
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
My door says, "Go ahead and knock, I'm already disturbed."
I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
TVs are more interesting then people, if they weren't then we'd have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
If you love something. . .set it free. . .if it doesn't come back. . .hunt it down and kill it.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A Nobel Peace Prize? I would KILL for one of those.

another one i liked i added to my signature
quotes from www.tbdolls.com