Greetings.

[Frozen Silence]

I come to you in a time of troubles for me, to ask for assistance.  My problems are many.  I've already posted about them in other subforums, so I shall link you to them.

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_psychic_and_paranormal-b15.0/

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_energy_body_development/heart_chakra_problems-t26293.0.html

I don't know what to do about these problems.  I've started meditating, I pray regularly, but the problems persist.  I don't know where else to turn but to this forum.

[vlazapax]

Hi there. Everyone else seemed to tell you to go to a doctor--since you have done that, I'll say the opposite.  Sometimes you can't heal yourself because you haven't aquired the skills. Its hard to realize that--but don't be afraid to go to a healing center. You did meth and from my experience, people who overdo meth end up attracting some bad "visitors". Everyone has probably told you that drugs invite low level entities, but I'm telling you meth is one that I've noticed REALLY does. Actually a friend of mine has an uncle that just this past weekend got admitted and he is a big meth user. And the things that went on with him sound like what is going on with you.

Now, you live out west, yeah? I'm asking because what you describe with the voices sounds like one of two things. 1) Actual spirits or elemental entities, the mischevious kind. There are numerous ways in which they could effect the human energy system including, spirit obsession, spirit intrusion, shadowing, spirit attachment and, the one everyone knows, possession. But you don't sound possessed, thank God.  2) Drugs tend to oppress an aspect of your subconscious known as the shadow. If you aren't familiar with psychology or shamanism, the shadow is a part of you that is all the stored up fear, anger, hurt and resentment that has not gotten delt with in a healthy manner. What's worse is that modern medicine only represses things like depression and the like which makes the shadow even bigger of an oponent to deal with...so, and this is just my opinion, I would strongly suggest a metaphysical healer or a councelor/psychiatrist who will help you deal with repressed emotions. You see this in your heart region with your inability to love, yes? I'll get to that in a moment but first, I asked to the "out west" thing because there are some excellent places you can go if you are willing to drive a ways. I would really recommend going to a shamanic practitioner because they can deal with both spirit issues, energy issues and shadow work. The last I checked, there were several around you in the LA area--just google it and see what you find. If you want to read up on the subject, I actually would recommend a book that is a little non-traditional. It is The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak and has some excellent explanations.

Now with the heart and love thing, it sounds like there was always an issue there with healthy boundaries. When a chakra is not working properly, be it over expanded or unopened, the issue can be complete polar opposites like what you described. With the 4th chakra those opposites would be love without healthy boundaries and switching to nothing but fear. Some medications worsen this (I'm not saying throw your meds away--that's why you should see a healer) because drugs, no matter what kind, are meant to alter our conditions. When you take in a substance into your body that is stronger than, say, your usual garden grown herb, these things manipulate your energy throw them off balance. What kind of meditation are you trying, if I may ask? Some people will have you to believe that they all produce the same effects but this is not so. 

Also, have you ever tried any purification rituals? Burning sage is well known. Also "asperging" with hyssop while repeating a psalm. There are numerous cleansing bath goodies sold online as well.

[Frozen Silence]

I come from a Native American background, so I always have some sage, and sweet grass, which I burn every night, to try to ward off evil and attract good.  =)  I don't know any rituals or anything that would amplify the effects though.

My mom's boyfriend is an amateur shaman, and I visited someone out of a directory book he had once.  He did a ritual to heal me, and to scare off the spirits, but it didn't do anything, even though I expected it to.  He smoked a special tobacco, breathed it into my crown, and gave me a special symbol that was supposed to help me, but I haven't figured out what it means yet.

As for meditating, I do circular breathing, in for 5 seconds, hold for 5, out for 5, hold for 5, while imagining gold/positive light coming in through my crown chakra for every intake, and imagining black/negative being breathed out for the output.  I can only manage to keep at it for 5 to 10 minutes though, because my focus is rather broken from the drugs I did.

As for my medicine, it does make me feel rather numb, and supresses the fear, so I would say that it's most likely suppressing my love, if not for the fact that my heart expired a year before I was put on medicine.  I was still doing meth at the time though.

Honestly, I am afraid of becoming a psy vamp.  I read somewhere that oftentimes people whose energy systems can't support them drain energy from others unwittingly.  I do not want this.  Everything is boring to me unless it involves other people, and I feel like there's a void inside that needs to be filled.  This is also why it's been so hard for me to quit smoking.  I have terrible desires that I've never had before.  I just want to be self-sufficient again, and be able to feel like I used to.  I'm not a selfish person.  I give whatever I have to help others, which is why I mentioned in a few other threads that I want to learn healing...

I thank you for your time and diagnosis.  I'll look into shamanic practitioners in my area, and continue meditating.  Although, tonight it seems that I wont have my medicine, because my doctor didn't give me enough for between appointments.  x_x  Wish me luck. 

[vlazapax]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work for you. Don't give up after going to one professional--unfortunately my experience in the metaphysical has shown me that a lot of "professionals" really aren't that professional. They prey on the knowledge that people don't know what they are supposed to do--I'm not saying that is what happened to you, just that what you have relayed sounds kind of strange if you went to a shamanic healer.

As for meditation, I know that for myself, I don't accomplish anything in breathwork or meditations where I am guided by a book or a CD. If you want, maybe try to relax for about 25 minutes, then when you feel you are deep enough, imagine a door and ask that the door bring you to a place of healing where healing spirits and entities can help you. You may have to try a few times, but taking a more active approach to meditation can really have some profound effects. This is how I do all my work on myself and I haven't been to the doctors in 8 years. It takes practice but it is really worth the effort.

Either way, I wish you luck. And if I have your permission, I will ask my healer spirit ally to help you--if not heal you, then to lead you to find what you need to heal yourself. 

[Frozen Silence]

Thanks again for your advice.  I'll try that method, and see what happens.

Also, you have my permission to ask your spirit healer ally to help me.  I need all the friends I can get.

[vlazapax]

We all do 

[Frozen Silence]

Love.

[Undali]

Greetings.