Healing/Guidance/Help

[vf4u6r733jq0-Ap2/7g]

Hello my fellows. I am deeply agitated and in great despair. I am looking for help, healing and guidance. To give you an understanding, I will provide a brief overview of my life situation. I have lived a very rough life and am surprised I continue here in the physical. I was spoiled as a child as I was gifted in certain ways. Things changed though when I began teenage years as I fell into the partying scene. I got arrested many times and even offended those that engaged with, and found myself in rehab by age 19. I did ok for several years before agin succumbing to the party scene or self medicating. I have been in and out of psych wards, rehabs, and heavily medicated. Several suicide attempts, self mutilation, assaulting others.By age 33, after a another stay at the psych ward, I became determined to discover what people were talking about when they said I needed spiritual help. This led to meditation, something I have never tried. I found something with this. For about the length of a year I felt wonderful and things changed in many ways for the better. But this turned. I had a spontaneuos obe, which at the time I disregarded because such things are not possible. Until I learned otherwise. Once again things changed. I sought to learn more about this and commenced training. Throughout this process I have found bliss and hell. I am not very good at obe. More so I have clairvoyant episodes and experiences. I feel as though I have opened pandoras box and even wish I never tried meditating. Even from waking states now sometimes through my brow, pssst and I am also existing and communicating elsewhere. I no longer know how to communicate with my fellows, for when I am remotely honest, they look at me as though I should be in a straightjacket. Lately I have been drinking to compensate and suppress such episodes. My dreams come true shortly afterwards,precognitive. More and more people are telling me I am paranoid or conspiratol. If I dont find some help I know my future is to be in lock down and heavily medicated. To be honest I would not mind lockdown. Put me in a room by myself and push some food through the door every once in while almost sounds like an ideal situation. But I know they will also insist on the chemical lobotomy, which I want no part of. I read a book the other day about intuition, and it said a person such as myself is in deep trouble w/out similiar peers. I post this cause I am suffering greatly and looking for peers, as a last effort before I enter the asylum. Responses, I am grateful for but I also feel the need to communicate via email and phone.Email is in profile

[vf4u6r733jq0-Ap2/7g]

Perhaps this is like every other place on earth and I need to offer 'dollars".

[Bedeekin]

Wow.... welcome anyway vf4u6... etc 

I think that a reply to you needs to be well thought out rather than offering you flippant advice that is given to everybody else.

Maybe knowing you more would help rather than just assessing you on 13 sentences. I'm hearing you though... I just want to know more about you.

Forget your drug abuse and your past. This has happened... nothing can change it. I think you know this... it's got nothing to do with your nonphysical experiences by the way. The way you describe your fear of them is expressed by people ranging from 11 (myself) to older than you... who have had no previous drug problems. Your fears aren't artefacts of drug abuse is what I'm saying. Basically... you are capable of changing you. The pandoras box you speak of is basically 'raw' you... not pandora. It is your box you have opened.

Don't worry about people around you looking at you like you are mad... you aren't... they just don't have the reference point you have. It's when you don't realise that people think you are weird or that you are loosing it that you need to worry. Not that you would worry because you would be blissfully unaware.

Your hurt and fear are absolutely reversible but you need to work hard at it. Very hard by the sound of it. 

What do you want from us? Seriously... because we can offer the suggestion of losing fear and inviting more love into your life... but you would probably self negate that because of the way you feel. Maybe I'm wrong and you do just want bigging up and wrapping in fluff.

Why do you say you aren't good at OOBEs? in terms of doing them or getting along with them?

[Szaxx]

Hi and welcome to the Pulse.
The past has gone and looking forward things will get better. You are not alone on this site with these images and no-one here will see you as crazy. These 'dreams' are a normal occurrence too for a few.
Help is at hand.
A better understanding of your troubles is in order.
Use the search box with appropriate words to see if anything related appears. There's always the PM button for a private communication.

[vf4u6r733jq0-Ap2/7g]

A bit dramatic perhaps. How is hurt and fear reversible? I try forgiveness and compassion type meditations but I am still this way. I will try some more. What more do you wish to know?

[Lionheart]

A bit dramatic perhaps. How is hurt and fear reversible? I try forgiveness and compassion type meditations but I am still this way. I will try some more. What more do you wish to know?

It's not. But you can't live in the past.

Dolores Cannon has an excellent technique for forgiving. I have did it many times and once you put true feeling, instead of just words into your intent, it really works.

Here's a link to that rechnique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlUQiLUZGa4

We can't go back to the past and change things, but we can realize our mistakes, learn from them and move on. That's what lifes all about.

We are put here to experience the good, bad and the ugly. Our own personal makeup is created by how we handle all of these things. What we learned and how to better ourselves, how to grow and yes how to let go of that which keeps us "stuck" in time.

Good Luck and Safe Travels my friend! 

[vf4u6r733jq0-Ap2/7g]

Thanks Lionheart. I have also found a guided forgiveness forgiveness meditation on the Monroe institute webpage under the free audio downloads that is similar to this technique.

[Lionheart]

Thanks Lionheart. I have also found a guided forgiveness forgiveness meditation on the Monroe institute webpage under the free audio downloads that is similar to this technique.

It sounds like you are doing everything right here. Now you just have to ALLOW everything to help you and BELIEVE that you deserve good things in your life.

You have been so beaten down by life, now it's your turn to show your strength. To LOVE yourself and ALLOW good things to happen!