I am lost, and looking for a way

[DanTheLost]

I am not sure why I am posting this, but I think that maybe someone who knows more about things could help.

Throughout my life, I have had the Fortunate opportunities to study and be part of various christian denominations. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, until I was 12. My family left that church and allowed me to search for what I believed on my own. Since then I have been a Seventh Day Adventist, and a Mormon.

Unfortunately, Stepping back away from each of these religions, I have encountered one glaring truth - that none of these are for me. Christianity, as defined in the general sense doesn't seem to be for me.

Also unfortunate for me, this has left me lost and wandering trying to find something that rings true within my being. I am also trying to find a group of people who might share what few beliefs I have had, or maybe, someone who can say "I have information on a beliefe that sounds similiar".

What do I believe in? I won't explain why, because I believe that one should not PUSH his or her beliefs on someone else unless they ask. I am stating these here in the hopes that someone might recognize these few beliefs and tell me if there are similiar believers out there. Well, so far, this is what feels right to me -
That there is a Creator(s)
That the creator has a female counterpart - a wife so to speak.
That people who are kind and try to live a good life, no matter what their religious beliefs, will end up in a good place.

The christian God-The-Father has things that I agree with. I don't know if Jesus truly existed, nor do I know if the bible is true. I cant help but wonder, out of hundreds of books, only 66 were thought to be true. But the scholars that picked those books were only men and had no true way of knowing if any of them were true. I have no faith in these things, and in my opinion the bible is skewed towards a male POV (only my opninion). Though I am male as well, I believe that women are equal to us men, not subordinate.

What I am seeking is the same thing that all people seek.  Most people feel they know the answers, and that gives them a sense of calm.
Who is God and his wife? How do I communicate to them?
Is there an existence past death?
What is the point of human existence?
Does Magic, in any form, exist?

I have been interested in finding out more about Christians who believe in a goddess, a wife of god. But in my research I have yet to find a group of people with any information on this. I am also interested in finding out more about the kabbalah, but alas, the same thing.

Can anyone help me?

DanTheLost

[Rastus]

Dan,

There are many paths to God.  There is no 'right' or 'wrong' religion, if your heart is pure.  God is in your heart, not in a brick&mortar edifice people meet in once a week.  What you seek is within, not without.

-Namaste
Bryan

[DanTheLost]

I agree with you Bryan - However, I feel so ignorant of all that is around me. I feel ignorant of what others believe, and why. All my life I have been forced in to seeing only the christian view.

I think that if my ignorance were lifted - if I knew more about what the people before me have found to be true, I might be able to find inside of me, what I think is true. Not that I want to follow another man, but that maybe by knowing all that previous men have known, the path of enlightenment inside of me might be brightened.

Maybe I should have said in my post, that I am seeking information on previous religious beliefs - where people believed in the divine femininity, the mystical, the magical, and themselves. Does this sound like anything that has existed before?

D

[markulous]

Maybe this isn't exactly what you are looking for but have you read any philosophy?

After I read about Buddha things started coming together for me.  Buddhism(not sure if you are familiar with it) is NOT a religion and there are no gods or anything.  Buddha is not someone who is holy or to be worshiped.  It's just a way of right thinking.  Best way I can describe it is with a lot of Christian(and probably other) churches they tell you, "Take THIS key, walk down THIS path, open THIS door, and that is THE only way."  Where as when you read about Buddha you start to realize that there are other keys and other paths and other doors.  And conflicts soon come to end.

 It has changed my life in so many ways.  From that I found parts of Christianity that suit me(there are still a lot of things I disagree with) such as Jesus.  I know he is a part of me.

Taoism and Confucism are also very good.

[lifebreath]

I sent an email to the address in your profile.

[DanTheLost]

I have not received it, yet.

Dan @ 1700sunset.com is the best email address for me, and should be the one in my profile

[You]

Christianity's god has no wife or mistress. You may want to try Hindu or Wicca, they have both male and female archtypes.

[DanTheLost]

This is what I have read, through a bunch of different sources, including the Kaballah, and the Apocrypha:

MODERN day christianity (in most forms, anyway) doesn't believe in a wife of God, however, early christianity, before the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, did believe in the ancient goddess Asherath (also called teh Shenikah in Ancient Jewish literature). The apocrypha has a LOT of mentions of her and God-The-Father (Yahve, Jehovah, etc) as being together. Some scholars believe the "us" in "Let us make man in our own image" is YHVH speaking to his wife .

I have no idea, however, the accuracy of this. If this historical information is accureate - it does feel right to me. I want to know much more about this before I make any kind of real judgement, but I have been unable to find any others who know anything about this, really.

Thank you. Really - this is a post that welcomes everyone to tell me what They believe in - I am open to learning about all beliefs and religions, and I flame no one for their beliefs.  I am a blank canvas, looking to learn, and experience.

Thanks
D

[Nay]

D, I just wanted to say that you have a wonderful openess that will take you far in life.  Keep that attitude it is refreshing.

When I think of the Divine, I think of it as being aspects of both female and male, not seperate entities.  I think all people have aspects of both male and female some are in touch with both, some are not.  Of course my opinion.  

Nay

[Gandalf]

Its open season for the christian missionaries on this forum! .... they will be falling over themselves in their rush to 'save' you from erring from the 'true way'...

For what its worth, you might like to look into buddhism or Hinduism.. Hinduism is great stuff!

Wicca or other branches of neo-paganism are worth a look, Wicca has a lot of similarities with Tantric doctrines, esp the male/female polarity.. this connection is probably not coincidence as it is thought that many of Gardner's early Witches were well-to-do types who had spent time in colonial India... hense the influence..
It has been repackaged in a western pagan way however and is all the better for it in my opinion.

If you want all the fun without the religious angle I would suggest Robert Monroe's work or that of Bruce Moen, both pioneers in the field of wider reality imo!

Good luck whatever you decide to look into

Douglas

[LordoftheBunnies]

Hi Dan.  

My experiences were similar to yours, I too was raised a Jehovahs Witness until I looked more into the religions history and ethics .  That was a little over a year ago.

At first I wasn't sure quite what to think.  I felt lost and still very attached to my former beliefs, and it seemed to me as if was those small beliefs versus thousands of other beliefs which, on the surface, seemed contradictary.  In particular, I couldn't stand the thought that good people wouldn't be able to live forever in a paradise earth as the Jehovah's Witnesses taught.  However, it gets better over time, and you began to see how it really wasn't a matter of this belief is wrong and this one is right, but that all are part of a greater whole.  For instance, through research I found the things people have seen and experienced through astral projection and near death experiences point to a post-mordem existance far more wondrous and awe-inspiring than what I had formerly believed.  Some good sites you might want to check are these:

www.near-death.com

www.afterlife-knowledge.com

While I have yet to experience many of these things myself, seeing evidence that people would indeed continue on after death and have a chance at happiness did much to release some of my anxiety.  I would suggest doing research over a number of different areas, look into every philosophy that interests you and crossreference and compare the information.  Also, strive to establish a consistent program of meditation and character/psychic development, as personal experiences will ultimately be far more powerful than just research alone.

Who is God and his wife? How do I communicate to them?

I look upon God in various ways.  Here, in our universe from which we were born, there are various essences and attributes which have been relfected down into us.  The Hermetic axiom of "As above, so below"  illustrates how we are inseparate from the world around us, and how the qualites we embody also exist, in some form, within the greater energies from which we emerged.  And, because we are not separate from the rest of the universe, our heavenly parents are, in a sense, right here in our very hearts.  As to communicating with them, think of it in this way.  They are communicating with us each and every moment, just that we don't notice.  While I'm not particularily good at my meditation, I've found that if I take the time to still my thoughts and simply observe the world around you, that it speaks back to us in subtle ways, even conveys a sense of peace and belonging as you get better at listening to it.


[/quote]
What is the point of human existence?
Does Magic, in any form, exist?

The point of existence is something which, I believe, we all have to answer for ourselves.  IMO, I feel that in a sense, existence is its own point.

Based on the evidence I have seen, yes, magic does exist.  However, its best not merely to think of magic in terms of utilizing various powers, but rather, as the very fabric of creation itself.  Every act is a magical act, just some seem more magical than others from our point of view.  

I you're interested in magic and the Kaballah, some good books I've enjoyed and learned from are Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon, various books by Israeli Regardie, as well as other books on ceremonial magic.  Books on the Kaballah and Gnosticism were especially interesting for me, as I could see traces of the earlier beliefs from which Christianity arose.

Anyway, if you want to continue talking to me, send me an email or PM.  Good luck in your search.  

[SpectralDragon]

To add to the many good replies here, I suggest taking a look into Christian Gnosticism.
A few links I provided in a previous thread:
(oops, this previous link seems to be a samuel Aem wor site, can't go with the link that was previously on this line.)
http://www.gnosis.org/

Also, check this site out, I think you would love having discussions with these people:
http://www.tentmaker.org/

These are not your "fire and brimstone" enthusiasts.

[Islamis4u]

hi dan,

I suggest you look into Islam, which is religion which is based upon pure worship of one's Creator. The word Islam itself means "submission", which connotes submission to one's Creator, and forsaking man-made idealogies and religions.

In Islam we believe in every Prophet and Messenger of God, whether it be Abraham, Moses, and Jesus (peace be upon them all), and we believe that their message was one and the same: to worship God without any partners. We believe that Jesus(peace be upon him) was a servant and Messenger of God. We neither believe he was an imposter, nor do we believe that he had any divine qualities.  Likewise, we believe the same about the Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him)

We denounce the worship unto any priest, prophet, idol, grave, image, person, place, or thing, but rather we worship the One whom everything depends upon for sustenance: God Almighty. WE direct all of our worship to Him, and we seek no intermediary(to call out to) to get us closer to Him, but rather we have a direct relationship to Him. Likewise, we submit to Him with obedience, and we take Him as our Lord by following what He has revealed to His Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him).

In Islam, God has sublime names and attributes in which we learn in order to know Him. We do not say about God that which we have no knowledge, but rather we describe God with that which He has described Himself with. We describe God as being separate and uncomparable to His creation. He is far above having any partner, any need, or any son, daughter, or wife.

"Glorified be your lord, the Lord of Majesty, from that which (the unbelievers) attribute (unto Him). And peace be upon the messengers. And praise be to Allah(God) the Lord the Universe." (as Saffat 37/180-182).




We believe in the Gospels and the Torah, as they were originally revelaed to Jesus and Moses (peace be upon them), and we believe in the Qur'an as the final revelation to mankind.

We believe that at the time of Moses(peace be upon him), those who followed his message and didnt innovate anything new, or change the religion he came with, and worshipped God Alone, were Muslims(submitters to God's Will).  Likewise we believe that those who followed Jesus's message at his time as it was in its original form were Muslims. And we believe that the Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) was sent too all mankind, as he said:  "Other Prophets before me were sent(simply) to their own people, whereas I was sent to all mankind."  

Some thigns that differ in regards to Islam and Christianity, is that in Islam we do not believe in Original Sin. Rather, we belive that every person is born pure and innately a sincere worshipper of God, and then his parents may make him a Jew or Christian.

I suggest you take a look at an english translation of the Qur'an here: www.quraan.com

-Jibril

[blackgen]

dan, as people have already said, your beliefs are quite similar to the tantric philosophy of siva and sakthi. they are the masculine and feminine aspects of god. however, you might want to check out
http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/.

This site asks you a series of questions (about your beliefs) and then shows you the religions that best suit you. this might give you a nice way to explore your own beliefs and come up with a religion suiting your belief system.

[Tayesin]

Hi All,
Wow Dan, you got a whole lot of loving replies to your initial post.  Each offered you ideas on so many seemingly different Belief-Systems.  Each was based upon some degree of personal experience.  All were excellent.

Before I start on what feels like a lengthy post, let me apologize for it's eventual length.  

Quoting You, "MODERN day christianity (in most forms, anyway) doesn't believe in a wife of God, however, early christianity, before the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, did believe in the ancient goddess Asherath (also called teh Shenikah in Ancient Jewish literature). The apocrypha has a LOT of mentions of her and God-The-Father (Yahve, Jehovah, etc) as being together. "

Since we humans are such a small and isolated group within this whole Universe, what we have had to say about God (the Creative Awareness of the Universe) would be so much less than a drop in the tiniest imaginable bucket !  In all the time we have pondered, asked about, fought wars over, otherwise killed and maimed for, never seeming to agree about who or what God is, we forgot the simplest things about it !

We sometimes forget that if 'It' (god,creative awareness,source,etc) created everything, then we are It's creations.  We certainly do forget that if It created us, we must be a part of It.  And we also then forget that we are the same as it in essence, since we are a part of it.   The simple things.

In our forgetfulness we assumed that we understood It.  We even gave It characteristics that we could comprehend.  We even forgot that we helped to create these things out of our own humanly-perceived necessity.

We knew we had been born into a world that existed within Duality, because we learned about the good and bad, the man and woman, even light and dark became opposed to each other instead of being seen as Components of the whole.

And so we humans expressed what we thought we knew about 'It'.  We honored the Earth with a Goddess perception, as we did with Mothers everywhere.  Eventually we had built up so many versions of the Goddess that somewhere in there we must have added a wife for God.  In which case I certainly wouldn't be expecting one to be the reality.

Quoting You, "Some scholars believe the "us" in "Let us make man in our own image" is YHVH speaking to his wife."

If we take ourselves back along the trail of source materials for what has come down to us now as Christian based religions, we will go past Roman and Greek sources, beyond the Arcadian (sp) until we reach the founding writers of what we call Genesis.  It is known that the Hebrews brought the first few books to Egypt from Sumer/Mesopotamia/Byblos.

Continuing to trace the sources, we arrive at the Sumerian Tablets.  The oldest Sumerian Texts of the Creation are about 7,500 years old.  Now we can read the translations in journals while in popular press it is presented in Zecharia Sitchin's books, although with 'additions' beyond the straight translations.

Here you will read so many familiar words and phrases, even entire paragraphs that appear in the bible's version of Genesis.  What I found to be very different was the bible appears to be a heavily edited version of the Sumerian Texts.  Extremely heavy editing was done at some time.

You biblical quote, "Let us make man in our own image", is word for word with the Sumerian translations, although these words are spoken by a being named NK (Enki) to the council of the 'gods' (12 Anunnaki), including his brother NL (Enlil) and father Anu (foremost of the gods)  The translation of Anunnaki is "Those who to Earth came".  Not to be confused with the misappropriate translation we have received that calls them 'Fallen Ones'.  

You will find a significant reference to them in the first book of the Nag Hammadi Library..  which is a collection of what books were not included in the official Bible of Constantine at Nicea.

Quoting You, "What is the point of human existence?  Does Magic, in any form, exist?"

Yes magic exists.  It does so in every smile, every movement of nature and in every Intention.  With minimal effort you can make something in the physical world move with just your thoughts...  now isn't that real magic ?  For those who disagree I ask you to try this little exercise....  have a friend hold two short dousing rods, keeping them at shoulder width....  and pointed in your direction.  You stand some distance away..  about 20 feet should do it, then only using your thoughts to imagine energy flowing out of you all the way to the dousing rods so that it makes them close in together.  Simple experiment, with surprising results !!  Try it. !!

Human existence ?

This may sound insane to some people, but......   You (as a huge Soul/Being) are an aware part of the Source....  you have been around for a very long time, much longer than we can imagine.   You were formed as 'It' diversified Itself into ever smaller portions so it could have beings incarnating in 'It's creations.  I tend to think it was so 'It' could experience what It could do and be, in as many ways as It could become aware of.  

This then means, you are here to Experience on behalf of the Source, what 'It' created in this Duality...  for your benefit and 'It's'.  I also strongly think we actually volunteered to experience life in this dense duality...  after we had finished experiencing other realities/existences.   Although, I might just be crazy.  

And again, in the first book of Nag Hammadi you will find a very lengthy desription of what I call Source's dissemination, although it is written in the Cultural perspectives and religous bafflements of the day.

Lastly, but most importantly...  inside you are all the answers you seek.  To find them means to turn inside and listen, using whatever means works the best for you.  

So there you have it Dan, a different perspective to ponder on perhaps.

Enjoy your search    

[Chimerae]

Hi Dan,

Besides the Gnostics, there's a movement in contemporary christianity called "feminist theology"  I don't know it's roots, it may or may not have originated with the womens empowerment movement, but now seems to have a life of it's own.

Feminist theology doesn't necessarily speak of "God's wife" but does feel that humans have "edited" the full experience of God to repress the Divine Feminine.  

Sorry I don't know more, but I've picked it up from friends who are mainstream ministers in the Methodist, Presbyterian, and Episcopal churches.  It's a little tricky because if you talk to the WRONG Methodist, Presby . . . (I've not yet run into trouble with a Epicopalian, but haven't pushed my luck) they are either totally ignorant or freak out in denying the existance of the movement AND the Divine Feminine.  

Very often, but not always, people and groups interested in feminist theology are associated with an interest in ecological theology.  

Most, but not all Unity churches are good places to find people exploring the feminine aspect of God, but my personal experience at Unity is that there's a tendency to elevate the feminine to the detriment of the masculine.  Not everyone experiences that with Unity.  

And, finally, the real purpose of my post -- have you taken your question and this true desire of heart back to God?  

For some reason, "Shekinah" seems to be an aspect of the divine that has ascendancy right now.  

The many names of "God" are human tools.  Ages ago when a friend of mine was in a Dark Night of the Soul, her rabbi told her that "God doesn't move.  People move." And that's what we are divinely designed to do -- it's called growth.  He said that prayer is the process of turning ourselves back to God.  The many names of God are a human doorway to recognizing a different facet of divinity newly viewable after some growth and evolution.  It's amazing how much helpful information I get second hand like that.    

You can try this to see if it helps open the door to what you are seeking:  http://northernway.org/shekinah.html

(I'm babbling more than usual right here.  As I try to share a current experience that I don't understand but find others are also in the midst of, so here's asking for more than the usual level of indulgence for the wrong words.  The words just don't work.)

What SEEMS to be importantant at the moment is the experience of God as "the sufficiency of the breast the womb"   I don't pretend to understand that since, like all scorpios I am seriously into control and playing at being the master of  my destiny (and everyone else's given a chance) but at least right now, I am noticing that it's possible (once I exhaust myself) to relax into a state where once turmoil has cleaned away all the non essentials and I cry out with the true desire of my heart, it's answered completely -- an not one jot more.  "Not one jot more" frequently means I don't get understanding or explainations.  

I cried out a lot about lack of explaination and understanding (did I mention I have control issues?) and finally understood that those things are excess baggage at certain rapid stages of development.  That right now, it's not appropriate to slow my evolution down to the point I can understand it.  

Bawl and carry on as I may, it ain't gonna happen.

Shekinah is sufficient to deal with my infantile temper tantrums as well as my hungers and my need for real education.  

Anyway, that wasn't at all what I intended to share, but perhaps there's a flake or two in all that with use for you.  

Safe journey.

[Teomim]

The way that your looking for, has been there the whole time.

have your heard of Taoism? I am a Taoist (pronounced "Daoist")

The book Tao Te Ching, by Lau Tzu, i know in my heart, is what you are seeking. the simple, Way.

Tao quite litterally meant "The Way"

its is not a releigon, but more a way of life, You will find that if you read and understand these words of an ancient chinese master, that the path of a taoist is simple and effecient. it may take a bit to wrap your mind around the concept of "Acheiving without Doing" but it was what i was looknig for.

I was brought up a babtist, and told what to beleive. Then i learned what a beleif truly was. so i claimed atheiest, then agnostic, and for a long time i claimed nothing. But i was issued a report to do, for class, on alternitive releigons. and i found Taoism.

It told me all these things that were new to be, but at the same time very familliar. It explaind and answered my questions, and ive been true Taoist for about 5 years now.
Check it out. You might find that your problems, stresses, and delemas, and all caused by ourselves trying to astray from the main path. People LOVE to be distracted, and the are easily led away.
Revert back to the uncarved block.
and remeber that it is not the door thats important. Its the empty space you can pass though that is.

Be like water, and adapt to your surroundings, like water in a cup.
Choose the path of least resistance. Be like the bubble, floting down the river. not the stick stuck in the mud, fighting the current.

ya dig?

~Z?~

[Banjoshee]

I believe you have just begun a wonderful quest, my dear. And you've just received much helpful advice as you begin your journey.

My wish for you is to find home. That home that you long for deep within. That home, not quite the same as the abode or those genetic beings you call family. No, I'm talking about the home your soul is searching for.

My advice may be repetitive of those above. However I think it can bear repeating: Follow your heart, your soul, your instincts, intuition, your gut.  

Along the way you'll learn much, meet unusual people, and ponder many things.

Wondrous journey to you, Dan.

[Teomim]

I believe you have just begun a wonderful quest, my dear. And you've just received much helpful advice as you begin your journey.

My wish for you is to find home. That home that you long for deep within. That home, not quite the same as the abode or those genetic beings you call family. No, I'm talking about the home your soul is searching for.

My advice may be repetitive of those above. However I think it can bear repeating: Follow your heart, your soul, your instincts, intuition, your gut.

Along the way you'll learn much, meet unusual people, and ponder many things.

Wondrous journey to you, Dan.

*sniff*. . . that was beautiful. . . . *sniff*

*ahem*. . .ok.
In my signature, it say "Music is my Sinaquanon"

Sinaquanon (sinn ah kwon on) means-1.Something that has to be done with great meaning or feeling. 2. An Indespensable item or condition.

now, Im a DJ, So music would obviously be mine. Try finding your sinaquanon.  it may seem a bit off subject, but i assure you its not. For a lot of ppl, releigion/God/etc, these are there sinaquanon. I guess what im saying, is that maybe you not looking for releigion, or a name to your beleifs. Perhaps you just need to finde your niche'. Then when you are Content, Humbled, and at peace, things will develop natrually, without aid, or force.
in short, Be like Pooh (yes, Winnie the pooh) and "Just be"

i don't think your lost, just in a shadow on your path.  

~Z?~

[amp737]

Dan,

My advice for you is this: Don't look for a religion that represents all of your beliefs. Rather, pick and choose. You may believe some things that Judaism and Christianity teach, and at the same time believe in some Wiccan philosophy. That's what I've done. I can't really classify what religion I am, but it's a combination of Judaism, Buddhism, and Daoism.

Don't look for something new to believe in. Define what you believe, find the religions next. They're only labels anyway.

[Banjoshee]

Teehee, Teomim.

And Sinaquanon sounds incredibly cool, too.

[Teomim]

'tis my favorite word!  

~Z?~

[1]

DanTheLost,

I think you should read DaVinci Code. It has similar thoughts which i think you will like.

One,
Anton.