(1) Did I tone down the adjectives enough?
I never saw the original post, so I don't know what it was like. I think that the thoughts were clear and concise.
(2) Was it clear my guy in the white robe was not hovering in an aircraft but instead was an astral entity? I hope mentioning he is ghost-like is enough?
Since we are all members of this forum and interested in the astral it was easy for me and most likely others of this site to identify that the entity in the white robe was in fact an astral being of some kind. I do feel though that by stating that he was like a ghost is enough even for those not well read about the astral to convince them that he is not a physical being.
(3) Did the details about the grandmother situation effectively setup some rules for my astral guy. For example making it acceptable that he could turn off the light switch?
When reading this passage I did not pick up on the fact that the grandmother was there to set up some guidelines by which the white robed being should follow. I instead thought of her as being there to help Christa accept the fact that there are things that can not be easily explained and that there are always people looking out for you.
(4) When I switched from viewing the story from inside the astral guy to viewing from inside Christa, did you feel lost for a moment? Or was it an easy transition -- easy to understand?
I found the transition very easy to follow. I never thought that what was happening to her was what he was seeing.
(5) What do you think Christa's future holds? The answer to this question tells me if I setup correctly reader expectation for the rest of the novel.
After reading this passage I began to think of Anikin Skywalker from Star Wars who is said to be the one who will bring balance to the force. Someone whose natural talents will play a vital role in the struggle of good vs. evil. I am guessing that this is kind of the role of Christa, someone with incredible abilities that need to be discovered. Because the white robed man was working with her I am obviously thinking that she will fight for good. She will obviously be facing many struggles, and I believe many of them will involve people she is close to. I don't see her as being the classic lone wolf type of hero.
(6) Please point out anything you feel is amiss, including; spelling, grammar, diction.
I did not find any problems such as this, but I will look over it again when I have more time and let you know if I find anything.
I hope my input helps you out, and I can't wait to read the rest of the story as it is very entertaining.
Respectfully,
Links Shadow
Thank for your help.
I have a lot of work to do on my novel and you guys have given me valuable direction.
Regards,
timeless