Hiho everyone,
Of late i have been feeling incredibly detached... and that is basically what this post is about, heh. Specific i know... i shall elaborate.
A while ago i read a post about Dp/Dr (de-personalization/de-realization) and the general feeling of detachment and distance from the surrounding world. Now what I'm feeling isn't exactly this (i don't think) but all i know is that I'm just not paying attention to my surroundings or anything else. I have almost become a danger to myself and others, ( for instance i personally don't think I'm focused enough to be driving, but ppl still insist i do) its like my awareness and common sense have died.
But then on top of this i cant ever remember it being any different. I know it was but i just can't imagine or comprehend ever having been more aware. Perhaps i have just suddenly got stupider, i don't know but it is really starting to disturb me. I truly feel like I'm meandering uselessly without fully being aware, its as if my battery needs to be re-charged.
However i have very brief periods of true focus where I'm much more aware of myself, (tho still not really aware of my surroundings)
Just to jump out of context for a second, when i say I'm less aware i don't mean I'm less focused i just mean that it kind of seems as if my consciousness isn't present within my body, and that I'm kind of running on autopilot, (a really stupid autopilot).
Back on topic again, these moments of focus seem to just be moments where my consciousness is present within my body. And at these times i feel (ironically) separated from my body, as if I'm looking at, not from my body, and i have this overwhelming feeling that I'm on the edge of discovering something or working something out but just cant quite get there. Even now as i type this I'm drifting in and out of focus...
I'm not sure what it is (perhaps its just the whole distant teenager thing) but this is really disturbing me I'm just not thinking logically. Nor do i really know what i am trying to gain from telling you all this... i think I'm just trying to work out my thoughts in a written form. But comments are welcome...
I feel like I'm right on the edge of something... but am currently unable to comprehend it.
This is getting terrible and i really don't feel like going insane today
