The Astral Pulse
News: http://www.astralpulse.com/aup.html. Acceptable Use Policy for the forums. Please read and ensure that you respect these policies. Thank you.

If you wish the join The Astral Pulse, please create an account and then email myself or one of the moderators your username and email address (do not send us your password please) and we will activate your account for you. 
If it's been over 24 hours and you still haven't been approved, please send another email, we are just people too and sometimes we get busy.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_chat/member_registration_requiring_approval-t42962.0.html

We apologize for any inconveniences this may cause, but it's the last resort we have to fighting the spam for now.
 
*
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register. June 18, 2021, 18:36:14


Login with username, password and session length


Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Does anyone else ever feel suicidal?  (Read 8310 times)
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« on: May 26, 2006, 21:52:25 »

Hi, I sometimes think about taking away my life. I'm 19 now, ain't got any girlfriend, or a job. Whenever I do a course I always drop out after a couple of weeks, i've got zero motivation to keep it going. I'll more than likely be getting nowhere.

Feeling so down, even though I am on 40MG of Prozac a day. They have took me up to a entirely different level of thinking, but I still feel down. I am thinking of putting myself into a mental asylum for a couple of months, have all the characteristics, tried to kill myself when I was 17, wasted my late teens staying in my home 24/7 when I could have been chasing girls. But then I don't want to be in there for very long.

I just want to take some drugs, they make me feel real good, not a single care in the world I have, I even feel refreshed the next day. Whenever I take a sleeping pill and stay awake (when I am tired) it feels like a 1000lb boulder is lifted of my back, I feel like I can do anything when I am in this state. My minds gets way calmer, my body lets go of itself. Do you think tranquilisers in mental asylums are the same as drugs/can have this effect? I am alone 24/7 now that i'm living by myself and the drug takes all that away. The pill takes out my true self, I am always biting my nails, fierce nervous when girls look my way. My Tai Chi teacher said my body is always tensed up, I am very shy, this is not want I want to be. The pill brings euphoria to me, it takes me away from my reality. Shamanist tribes from the past took NATURAL mind-enchancing drugs to take them to the astral plane, why can't we do the same? Damn goverment and their laws, taking away what nature provides naturally for us. My mind is just a 1,000 times lighter whenever I take it, and I want to really get into this type of stuff. Even though I am not addicted, the way it turns my mind around, I feel like I can face any sitution in everyday life.

A tranquiliser I assume is the same as the effect I get when high, so I may book myself into a mental asylum alright, even for only this. But then I don't want my youth to pass me by, I want to be something in a couple of years time.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2006, 22:04:46 »

I'm listening to "Budsmokers Only" by Krayzie Bone ATM. It is an album about smoking weed, and this really emulates what I go into when I do what I describe above. It might be good for me if I go into the weed, just have to get used to smoking, hehe.

See I was pure depressed in the above post, now that i'm relaxing back, looking forward to the sleeping tablet tonight, I feel away better, hehe.

The way we go, fly up in the sky so high. And you don't have to come down, stay in the clouds all night- Krayzie Bone.

EDIT for Runalola post, what is Rehab?
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
The Astral Pulse
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2006, 22:04:46 »

logoVisit the website of Astral Pulse creator Adrian Cooper.

Home of the best selling book Our Ultimate Reality.

Astral Projection, Metaphysics and many other subjects.

 Logged
The Present Moment
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 314



View Profile
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2006, 01:54:16 »

You don't need to be in an asylum. There's nothing you can't do outside of one that you can inside, unless you just want to be in an institutional environment.

Another person in your situation might be hopeful and optimistic; it's all a matter of perspective. You need to get a therapist who can teach you how to find that positivity within yourself. I know it seems impossible to imagine a life of contentment, but you have to trust that you are capable of it.
Logged
El-Bortukali
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 332


View Profile
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2006, 02:15:09 »

Oh yeah. i do.but not as a physical suicider.and i don't see it as 'suicide' more like returning to the ORIGINAL' state.you could say,'The Force' cheesy

to end my life and end up as  a mass of energy is not exactly my thing *g* and come back again now,spiritual suicide,there's something i look forward.
(check my thread Wink )
Logged

Tá mo chroí istigh ionat
RooJ
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 166



View Profile
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2006, 04:06:28 »

Ive been down and confused in the past, never suicidal though. I went through a stage (year or two) of having anxiety or panic attacks. I got through it by changing the way i viewed the world.
One day you realise that life isnt the job you have or the courses you've been on.  I think as humans we tend to become too focussed on the "human" way of life, the money, the flash cars and the whole looking perfect thing. Its easy to forget that most of it is just a world within the real world.. our own little human existence cut off from the universe.
Its sad but you see people who become really ill because of it, my ex-boss had 3 heart attacks through stress because her job was her life.
It sounds corny but if i ever feel down i usually just look up at the stars or check out the astronomy picture of the day archive ->http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html and that has a nice effect of reminding me that theres so much more beyond the world we've created and wrapped around ourselves (coupled with instant chillout and de-stress).

So yeah.. im not denying we cant live without making money, but forget about careers for now and think of something you enjoy doing.. start from there. Maybe get a part time job and then focus more on hobbies and through that you may meet someone with similar interests etc.

>RooJ
Logged
The Astral Pulse
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2006, 04:06:28 »



 Logged
jilola
Astral Energy 5
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1453

143173721 jilola
View Profile Email
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2006, 04:37:11 »

YMMV but the best way I've found to deal with anything like your situation is to face it full on.
That sounds like "buck up and ten-hut" type of response but it realy isn't.
It take  bit (large bit) of resolve  but perhaps you should look at what you are leaving behind when you take a drug (if you do) because that thing will still be there when you come down.

And I'm not a social worker or a psychiatrist.

2cents & L&L
Jouni
Logged
Greenrat
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 123



View Profile WWW
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2006, 12:51:09 »

man just train more in your tai chi!!,  try and focus on keeping the crown suspended, this gets rid of all the tension in your brain.
you'll eventually have to wean yourself off the anti-depressants too, you cant only be happy when you have a drug to look forward too cos you miss out on everything in between.
i think you know how you could improve your life situation.
Logged

split your awareness between your heart and head.
ubiquitous
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 145


View Profile
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2006, 02:47:06 »

Get a grip donal, not on a spliff or anything else you've posted the same thing before.

ya need to nip it in the bud literally

Get out the darkroom with the red eyes and get some work now and have some kinda of career to fall back on before you get more anxious sending the same post in 10yrs.
If you find a girl and fail to impress try try try again
ya don't need to be stoned all the time, rejection comes to us all,no fear brother!
Logged
jilola
Astral Energy 5
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1453

143173721 jilola
View Profile Email
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2006, 02:51:03 »

Latest studies show that mood alterants such as those used to that ADHD cause depression and suicidal thoughts. I wouldnät be surprised Prozac didn't do the same.

The beef I have with Prozac and similar medications is that they treat the symptom and not the cause.
The only use for Prozac is to allow one respite from depression in order to find and  tackle the causes of the depression. If one doesn't deal wioth the causes the medicine is only a temporary delay and will eventually, leave one in a worse situation than before.
There is no pill that will heal depression and similar psychological conditions. Lithium may curb schizophrenia but it won't sure it. Other measures are required to effect a change in the underlying condition.

Usually the best course of action is to face you deepest fears head on. Dig dig and dig until the root cause is naked in front of you. It'll be scary, painful and the thought of escape is always behind your left ear. But remember it is you whispering in your ear and you can ignore  your whispers.

Caveat: I am NOT a medical doctor. For professional opinions seek qualified opinions.

2cents & L&L
Jouni
Logged
Logic
Astral Energy 4
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 812


endphase+Logic dmtlogic
View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2006, 21:33:51 »

Ive heard about a lot of studies that show that use of anti-depressants causes higher rates of suicide than people who are depressed and do not use them, which is why I would never recommend using them ever.

One of my best friends commit suicide two weeks ago today, and it is still unbelievably hard to deal with, especially since I was trying to help him through his problems and knew what he was going through. He used to do a lot of drugs, but lately just smoked a lot of pot, and had a terrible break-up. We worked together, and one day he just walked off the job and I barely heard from him up until a few days before.

I don't know if anything I did or could have done would have made a difference, but I will forever feel guilty for not doing more. I've been severely depressed before, so I have an idea of what it is like from that perspective (and your two situations seem somewhat similar)

The best advice I can give you is that once you hit bottom, you can only go up again. Dwelling and thinking on whatever it is will never make it better, it is just a downward spiral. The more active you are, with friends, hobbies, physically (IE. exercise) the easier it is to avoid those extreme lows.

When it comes to thoughts about suicide, that is when you need to start taking some serious action in dealing with the issues at hand. The best thing to do is talk to someone, be it a counselor, psychiatrist, friends, family, maybe even a stranger - but the more you put yourself out there the more support you will have, because dealing with things like this on your own will only make it worse. Above all, do what makes you happy, that is the most important thing you can do for yourself - good luck.
Logged

We are not truly lost, until we lose ourselves.
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2006, 10:36:40 »

I was in a psychotheraptic ward for the past 2 months and feel a lot better now, but I still get the thoughts. I hope I will lead a good life.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
malganis
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 206



View Profile
« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2006, 11:21:39 »

I'm glad you feel better now  smiley
Logged

"What are you doing here, Nasrudin? his neighbor asks. "I'm looking for a key which I lost
in the wood?" Nasrudin replies. "Why don't you look for it in the wood?" says the neighbor,
wondering at Nasrudin's folly. "Because there is much more light here"
The Present Moment
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 314



View Profile
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2006, 08:45:51 »

I wondered about you during your absense. It's good to have you back.  cool
Logged
Stillwater
Global Moderator
Astral Energy 5
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 2817


IntangibleDust
View Profile Email
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2006, 14:58:44 »

It is nice to hear that you are happy with how things have went. What do you think of your experiences from the institution? What methods did they employ, and to what effect?

I am glad that your situation is improving, but I must also mention that we should be part of our own therapy, as I am sure you know. You also metioned the desire to kick it naturally- perhaps you can spend some of your time doing something meaningful to you- maybe hiking outdoors in the woods or mountains, or visiting the beach alone. Maybe there is some activity that allows you to feel yourself and unpressured, like exercise, meditation, or reading deep literature- if you can get your mind off your current troubles, maybe you can help yourself find the real root ! wink Drugs like Prozac, such as Runlola mentioned, can help in the short term, but I do not think they allow the individual to fully address their own problem at times- of the people I knew on that drug, few seemed to be truly in control of their lives, and may have had their bi-polar tendancies magnified to suicidal thoughts as a result. I wish you well, my friend- keep us posted  wink
Logged

"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic
OrionsDream
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 223



View Profile
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2006, 02:53:31 »

Hey Donal! Not sure you remember me.. I hardly remember this forum! (I haven't been here for aaaaaaages).
Glad you've been dealing with your issues and that things are getting better. Is school in the future for you?
Like the people above me have said, drugs more shroud the root of your problem in security. Not a false sense of security, but never the less a temperory shroud of one. I myself am a huge anti-drug person (illegal and some legal) but I offer only the perspective from a kid whos never tried them, and who has never felt an extreme need to either. I always feel that one needs to deal with their issues through self examination and pure stubborn will.
I am also interested in what happened during your healing period.. what methods did they use? The stereotype of those places is not a positive one, but it seems that they have helped you!
I encourage you to get back into a normal daily life, and brush away all past negative feelings of insecurity, hate, etc. It doesn't matter what people think of you, only what you think of yourself.
Keep in touch, and congrats! Smiley
Logged

Save your tears for the day when our pain is far behind on your feet come with me we are soldiers stand or die
Save your fears take your place save them for the judgement day fast and free follow me time to make the sacrifice we rise or fall
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2006, 12:57:32 »

Well I was in a real bad place called Carrigmore for 10 days since I was put away on the 3rd of June, it was no holds barred and I never want to see that place again.

I am a few days away from discharge now, so i'm glad with that. They put me on other medications aswell apart from prozac, largacthol, etc. I don't feel like I want to kill myself anymore now, and I hope it stays that way. They will be keeping me on the medication for the next 6 months once i'm out, steadily decreasing it.

My own cousin Mark is anti-drug too, but he admitted that they do work in emergencies, such as feelings of suicide, etc.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
OrionsDream
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 223



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: August 16, 2006, 19:45:57 »

So your saying in 6 months you will be completely off medication? That's impressive, and their means of slightly decreasing it is a smart one.
Are there sideeffects at all to any of these medications? i've heard there are some, but was just wondering if you have experienced, or know of any associated to your drugs.
What do you do during the day now that you are out? just curious.
keep it up  cool

ned
Logged

Save your tears for the day when our pain is far behind on your feet come with me we are soldiers stand or die
Save your fears take your place save them for the judgement day fast and free follow me time to make the sacrifice we rise or fall
BadCookie
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 177


ClubEchi
View Profile
« Reply #17 on: August 16, 2006, 22:48:08 »

Find something that is meaning full to you... by the way nothing wrong will killing your self but do it when your an old man evil
Logged

"They that would give up essential liberty for a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2006, 21:45:36 »

I am out fully now, and will be moving back home tomorrow, so glad to be out.

I have experienced some side effects, loss of libido, etc. I am going off the prozac from now on but will take the other medication, zispin etc.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #19 on: September 28, 2006, 21:19:48 »

Since I gave up the prozac the suicidal thoughts are starting to come back recently. I think I should go back on them again when I get my next dose of medication.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
MisterJingo
Astral Energy 5
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1352


44977578 misterjingo misterjingo
View Profile
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2006, 22:07:41 »

Since I gave up the prozac the suicidal thoughts are starting to come back recently. I think I should go back on them again when I get my next dose of medication.

Hi Donal,

 Have you got any form of appointments set up to speak with a doc reguarding your thoughts and medication?
Logged
Enoch
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 180



View Profile
« Reply #21 on: September 28, 2006, 22:33:26 »

Never suicidal. Just never in fear of death is all. This world is way to cool a place to take the "easy" way out.
Logged

A warrior doesn't seek anything for his solace, nor can he possibly leave anything to chance. A warrior actually affects the outcome of events by the force of his awareness and his unbending intent .
Donal
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 165

HalaRaulMadrid@gmail.com
View Profile
« Reply #22 on: September 29, 2006, 10:43:19 »

Hi Donal,

 Have you got any form of appointments set up to speak with a doc reguarding your thoughts and medication?

Yes, I have an appointment on Wednesday.
Logged

Now everybody wanna go to heaven but nobody want to die- Krayzie Bone
MisterJingo
Astral Energy 5
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1352


44977578 misterjingo misterjingo
View Profile
« Reply #23 on: September 29, 2006, 15:04:56 »

Yes, I have an appointment on Wednesday.

Thats good to hear. Perhaps to state the obvious Smiley, just let him know your concerns and talk over how you are feeling.

I hope it goes well.
Logged
Vilkate
Astral Energy 3
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 421


Ready to share peace!


View Profile
« Reply #24 on: October 01, 2006, 12:13:24 »

Suicidal? No... Recently just feeling really ready to go home. And not by manual means - suicide - but as if it is going to happen naturally. If that is really going to happen so, I'm peaceful and content about it.
Logged

~Our name is Eternity~

On my way to the infinite universe of Light and Unity.
The Astral Pulse
   



 Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums


The Astral Pulse Copyright © 2002 - 2014
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS! Dilber MC Theme by HarzeM