I was trying to stay in!!!

[G3MM4]

Gee that was a weird experience I have just "woken" up from!

I went to bed this morning, after being totally unable to sleep at all last night. So, of course I slept until about four in the afternoon, when I woke up to go to the toilet and have something to eat then I went back to bed.

I didn't go back to sleep straight away, but I drifted off to sleep again when I had a weird dream about the world of addiction. I was with a friend of mine who looked after me as a teenager. I was looking for all the things I was addicted to, and she was talking to me.

All this time I really was aware of the fact that I was trying to go OOB. I woke up briefly feeling very very drowsy, and although I didn't have the pre-exit vibrations, I knew that I was starting the usual procedure for exiting. I could hear the "mystical" sounding music/sounds, I could feel energy going through my body, I found it very hard to move (not paralyzed, but going that way!), so every time my eyes shut, I literally had to force them open, trying to stop the pre-exit signs. I had to do this several times. Eventually I stopped doing this, and fell back into the dream.

I didn't want to go OOB because the dream had a very dark and negative tone to it (not suprising since it was about my addictions!).

In the dream, I still could feel the pre-exit signs, so I had some control in the dream. The dream carried on with me talking to my friend about my addictions and we were in a place that I recognised (not from real-life though), and I went into this small room that served as a toilet. I looked down at the floor, and I could see some writing. I could see the word "pain" daubed in blue paint. There were also other words daubed in blue paint, but the one that I noticed the most was the word "pain". While I was in this room, it occured to me that this room was full of traps, although I couldn't actually see any even though I was looking for them. So I got out of this room as fast as I could.

All this time, I was constantly fighting the pre-exit signs. My friend came up to me and said, "Do you like this?", holding out a tub of what looked like clotted cream. She scraped off a bit onto her finger for me to taste. I tasted, and replied, "I love this stuff!". She then told me it was nicotine. Now, I'm a smoker, and I'm obviously addicted to nicotine. I'm also a food addict. So it makes sense that the tub of clotted cream was in fact also nicotine. My friend mentioned some other people, who I don't recall now. She was talking about events and other things that had happened. At this point I was in her house, but it looked a bit different from what I knew in real-life. She said she had to go, but I was welcome to stay intil I was ready to go.

At some point, I woke up still feeling very drowsy, but thankfully the pre-exit signs had disappeared. The reason why I did not want to go OOB was because I knew I was in a very negative eviroment, and there was no way I was going OOB while I was in such a negative evironment, for fear of what other horrors I was going to come across. I just instinctively knew it was a bad idea to go OOB at this time. At some point, I even thought about flying upwards, but thought I couldn't because something made me stay in the dream. I knew that if I attempted to fly upwards, I would be OOB and I didn't want that. So I decided to keep fighting against the pre-exit signs and endure the dream, since the dream was only temporary. Now, I had some level of consciousness and control within the dream, even though it wasn't fully lucid. The clarity of what was happening wasn't that great, some bits of it was very vague, even though it all felt real to me.

[kmD]

interesting.

I have never fought my exits. When I feel a spontanious exit getting ready to happen, I batten down the hatches and get ready for a wild ride. Somehow I feel a spontanious exit isnt spontanious at all, but that my body knows what it is doing and maybe has some kind of need that a projection will solve. I trust my body and self, and know that there are reasons things happen i will never understand, and as a intermediate projector I never fear leaving my body, but welcome the chance to do so without having to meditate for half an hour.  Call it a "astral quickie" if you will...

Work on your confidence level is my advice.

[G3MM4]

I do understand where you're coming from, but I never want to project while I'm in a negative evironment. I'm fine if it happens in a neutral/positive evironment, but this time I really didn't want to. Having said that, if I astral project consciously, I always feel fear, although I don't know why. It's fine if it's an unconscious projection except for if it doesn't feel right.

[kmD]

if I astral project consciously, I always feel fear, although I don't know why. It's fine if it's an unconscious projection except for if it doesn't feel right.

This worries me. What are you afraid of?
One thing to remember, and I cant stress this enough for novice projectors.
Project during the day. You might find youre less afraid because its not the dark of night, and you can see better. Sounds so obvious, but once i did day projection everything changed for me.

[aleshah]

astral memories can be forgotten, if trying to stay long time in.
don't take much pressure to the astral & use /develop your mental body with the help of the astral,
let mental body do hard tasks for you, otherwise when you do this tasks by your astralself, it tends that you wake up fast.Think of end of evry journey, it is important to have an end, not to forget, send your astral body to meet your mental again, for reunion then send you back in the twilight zone , then send you back in your physical realm.Here you are! Full of actions you did,
able to respond.  

[G3MM4]

Look, I would project in the daytime if it happened spontaneously. I don't like trying to project on purpose.

If you want to know why I'm too afraid,  here's the topic to look at: http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15085.

[G3MM4]

Aleshah, I know all that, but it's useless to me until I can project without being afraid.

[Jeff_Mash]

Projecting with fear seems to be a very common thing with a lot of new projectors.....and sometimes experienced projectors.

Even myself, after hundreds and hundreds of projections over the last 6 years, once in a blue moon I'll find myself starting to project and a fear will come over me....

On rare occasions, I will fight the projection reflex and resist the experience, taking everything in my power to remain in my bed.  Why?  Usually during experiences like this, I am either awakening from a bad dream, or I just feel something negative.  

It's also a key point to note that when most people are in this sensitive stage of separation, your logical mind is very fragile.  You can literally be the bravest person on the planet, but finding yourself in a projection state can revert your mentality back to a little child, scared in his room because of a monster living under the bed.

The best thing I have learned (and yes, it's taken lots and lots of botched projections to barrel through this lesson) is to remain CALM in the face of fear.

I'll give you a perfect example that I'm sure many of you can relate to.  More often than not, I exit the body and I find myself in the familiar black void.  Now, for me, this isn't scary......the scary part is when you start flying at light speed in this darkness, twisting and turning every which way......especially if you start flying DOWNWARDS!  Oh boy!  Then you start thinking, "What if I slam into the ground?!?!" or "What if I am flying downwards into HELL?!?!"

Like I said, I have screwed up so many experiences that way due to fear.  The way I got over them was to analyze my feelings when I came back, and vow to learn from them.  So the next time I was in a fearful situation, I told myself, "Alright Jeff, you remember what happened last time....and the time before that.  You get scared and lose the experience.  So let's just see what happens when you don't get scared.  Just GO WITH IT.  Trust in yourself that nothing will harm you, and everything will be ok."

This is all a mental dialog that happens in my mind at the time.  And you know something?  99% of the time, the blackness starts to fade, and an astral environment opens up before me, and then I'm able to have a great projection!  Our minds blow things way out of proportion when we let our emotions take over.

So I don't know if this has helped you, because the only way you can learn this lesson is to go through it yourself.  But use my testimony as a stepping stone in your own progress, as a verification that it CAN be done.   You can get over the fear.  

[G3MM4]

Thanks Jeff. This was the reason why I fought the projection this time - because the dream that I was having was negative. I'll try next time not to let the fear get the better of me.

[aleshah]

it is like being angry and then have a dinner. the energy of food will sufer from this anger. sounds weird, but I also had some fears in the astral.
I am most afraid, when i beginn to spin fast.

[Eol007]

Aleshah,

Yes, the spinners can seem disorientating at 1st, but they do ease off over time...and are nothing to be afraid about in all honesty!

Best wishes,


Stephen

[G3MM4]

it is like being angry and then have a dinner. the energy of food will sufer from this anger.

Not sure what you mean by that.

[Eol007]

Gemma,

If Aleshah does not mind me replying.

What I feel he [edit] means is that how one expresses their mood/emotions also effects the environment around you.

A simply example of this would be to yell venom at a flower and watch it pale and wither! Whereas to sing joyfully in it's presence would enable it grow afresh and bloom gloriously!

Therefore consider this small idea: that one of the most growth promoting things one can do is to speak loving to their own heart and it will in turn reflect this all that is around you!

Blessings,


Stephen

[edit] Corrected now apologies!

[aleshah]

no offence, but Alesha is a russian boy name.
quote:
it is like being angry and then have a dinner. the energy of food will sufer from this anger.

I tried to explain, that the attitude or mood you are tuned in changes the energy/ food you get.
"What you see is what you get"

To opposite i think this is a bad philosophy, to expect getting evrything you want.It's just unreal.
It takes subtle forms i guess.
It's like watching a horror movie and then have driving dreams...

Finaly i am optimistic, what energy source are exactly this kind of spin-o-ramas?

[G3MM4]

I get what you mean. I knew all about that anyway, but I just didn't understand what you meant because of the way you said it, that's all.

[aleshah]

i know, I explained to weird first

[G3MM4]

LOL I know you did!