Selski's Journal

[Selski]

17/7/17

A night of many dreams, most of them brief and all-but forgotten. I have vague memories of learning things.

I recall lying in a dream bed being able to see through my eyelids. I lifted my left arm up to see if it would go through the nearest wall. It wouldn't...but it wasn't aching so I knew it wasn't my physical arm. I lifted my right arm and tried the wall - this time the wall yielded and both arms went through.

What was interesting about this one was, once again, my dream consciousness knew I was partially out-of-body (although it didn't realise my arms were dream arms) whilst my waking consciousness was blissfully fast asleep. It's like a deeper layer of lucidity whereby my waking self doesn't need to be disturbed.

[Selski]

18/7/17

I am in an office and there is going to be a wedding rehearsal in the boardroom. They have asked us all to attend to be the pretend audience. When I go, I'm playing the groom [or I might have been the bride, I can't recall].

We are all standing around and someone makes a comment which is so utterly hilarious, every single one of us is howling with laughter.

Can I remember what was said...? Nope. 

[Selski]

A night with plenty of dreams, the majority of the content is forgotten.

Bits I remember are paying to get into a nightclub. The coins were a mixture of flat plastic shapes such as animals with magnetic pieces on the back - these represented the larger dominations such as pounds. Then the loose change was made of small metal shapes such as a coffee mug around the size of Monopoly pieces. The woman behind the till was keen to take my loose change in exchange for pounds, which I was happy to do.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I'd gone back in time to tell a famous person that in the not-too-distant future they would make a decision that would change their lives - and they'd stick to the decision. I told them I was from the future. Rather than being pleased with this piece of information, it really upset/disturbed her. Another one of her friends was shouting at me, telling me I'd made a big mistake.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Without becoming properly lucid, I realise I'm able to walk through glass, so I step inside a shop window display. The dummies are in sporting gear and I begin doing sporting movements around them, such as swimming, skiing and so on. One of the shop assistants gets up onto the window and joins me.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Quite a lot of fun with a bit of mischief thrown in. Which is all well & good, but I want to get serious now.

[Selski]

Something has just come back to me while I was reading Otherwhere. In the last dream of the previous post, as I went into the sports shop, I mentally recorded the sensation of feeling warmer (outside to inside) and there was a quiet hum which I deduced to be some sort of electric machinery in the shop, possibly air-conditioning or the like.

[Selski]

Someone is attempting to cross the road at a zebra crossing and steps out just as a car comes past. The car doesn't stop and the person jumps back. They are cursing and shouting at the driver who has long since gone. I go over to them and explain it's no good getting mad; it won't make any difference apart from making them stressed.

I manage to calm them down and go on to advise them not to stand too close to the kerb and be more careful when crossing roads. Someone else comes along to join in and I'm suddenly in another dream.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

In a doctor's waiting room, there are loads of people. It's already late in the day and there's no way all the patients will be seen. There is a man who has something wrong with his legs; he has crutches. I can see the look on other people's faces as they look at his legs. I don't look at his legs, but can hear him complaining about not getting seen quickly. I walk over and sit next to him. He's moaning at me about his complaint (something to do with his stomach). He must have read my thoughts as he then gesticulated to his legs and said, "Wel" - meaning that the condition he had that affected his legs is called Wel. He repeated this more fully by then saying, "I got Wel."

Just then, there was a message relayed over a loudspeaker. No more patients could be seen that day and they'd have to return the following day. Everyone groaned and starting trooping out. I asked the man why he didn't request a home visit, given he wasn't very mobile. He told me they only visit on Tuesday mornings and he needed to be seen much sooner than then.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I'm in an office and it seems there's been some discussion about getting rid of me. I've done something wrong, although I can't recall what. I hear a man in the next office talking about having to sack me and he looks in at me. I feel guilt, shame and wonder what on earth I've done.

They come to get me and I plead with them to let me know what I did. It transpires that I exposed the company as being fraudulent. I can't remember the details, but I know that I acted in good faith and with a good heart, so now all the guilt and shame has gone.

The dream shifts and I'm now in a small room with a handful of other people. Two of the people, a mother (who works at the company I've just been sacked from and who hates me for exposing them) and her baby daughter, are in a separate part of the room. It's like a tall capsule-shaped wardrobe.

The mother is not much bigger in size as her baby daughter. I understand that the capsule is freezing and they both are suffering - the mother from cold, the daughter from hunger. I carefully take out the mother (much to her chagrin) and hold her close to me, wrapping her in blankets that are close by. I'm trying to warm her up, to put some life back into her. I cradle her like I would a baby and rock her gently. Meanwhile, I ask a young man to take care of the baby and try to get some food inside her, no matter how little.

I'm there for a while rocking the mother. I notice gaps where the blankets are not reaching and ask others to wrap both me & her in them. One person ignores me, so I ask another very firmly. Her name is Sue and she tucks us in.

After a while, I unwrap the blankets to make sure she is still breathing and I haven't suffocated her. She's now warmed up and is OK to move away from me. She's rather uncommunicative and is probably still peed off with me from earlier. The young man has ensured the baby is fed and still alive and our jobs are done.

I'm now in an adjacent room, lying on a bed. It feels a bit wobbly, so perhaps it's a water bed. I'm on my own but recall that there is a young man nearby. I want him with me but he's not there. Despite never getting lucid, I do something I know I can only do in dreams. I imagine him there. I hold him, hug him, stroke his face and kiss him. I'm kissing air, but I know that for the majority of times that I do this, someone appears in the space.

This time, he didn't appear. However, the door opened and in he walked. He got on the bed and we started canoodling. He was only young and we hadn't got far before he said out loud, "bananabananabananabanana" to stop himself from ejaculating too soon. This made me laugh and ended the experience.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I know that some of these dreams are directly from what I've been watching/reading lately. Even so, they are worth looking at. What has been obvious the past few nights is the lack of lucidity. How could I dismiss the 'I got Wel [well]' comment? I do cryptic crosswords every day and enjoy that kind of wordplay. I must have been simply too far gone in sleep to notice. I'm trying not to be frustrated about it and to take these dreams just as seriously as I would if I were lucid.

And I failed the sex test in the last dream... 

[Selski]

I woke up with Earth Song by Michael Jackson on my mind. Which I meant to jot down in the previous post but forgot.

One thing that is becoming self-evident - my dream recall is picking up. That's what you get when you write a dream journal. 

[Selski]

The meaning(s) in the dreams from my previous post are clear to me now, after having last night's dreams. They are all variations of the theme of preparation for NP exploration.

• You can't just cross the road without taking a few precautions first
• A room full of patients. That's a lot of patients. Patients = Patience. Perhaps I'll have an adventure on Tuesday morning when I'll be seen - perhaps I'll be 'Wel' enough then to take the 'first steps' without the use of crutches
• Of course, before starting any physical exercise, one needs to make sure one has enough energy (food = the baby needed feeding) and also to make sure one has a warm-up (warming the mother)

Despite all those hints & clues, I failed to be aware enough of what was going on...and just to cap it all they gave me a sex test which I flunked.

Last night I was with K, one of my dream guides. We were planning on a night out that same evening, but neither of us had made any arrangements or had our make-up on etc. I even mentioned that whilst it was enjoyable last week (the Buddha Tea House experience), I didn't really feel like it at the time as it was the last day of the holiday and I just wanted to stay home & sleep. This time I was really in the mood, but we couldn't simply go, we had to make plans and organise our party outfits first.

That dream was much more obvious than the others and once I'd awoke, I lay there for a while realising that all the dreams recently have been about 'getting ready'.

Even Earth Song - earth, grounding, physical. You've gotta love these puns.

[Selski]

Being interested in purchasing a new duvet set, I'm in a bedding store. Whilst the assistant is getting all the sets they have in my bed's size, I'm looking on the internet too. After typing 'duvet sets' in the search box, I get a beauty salon website.

The assistant comes back with three choices - Pink Panther, Tweety Pie or Popeye.

This one's meaning is obvious upon awakening - internet frustrations pure & simple.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

A dream character [known IRL, although deceased] tells me she's jealous of the experience I had recently "with the spider at Adelphi".

That has me stumped. Have no idea what she means, and don't recall any spider/Adelphi experiences. 

[Selski]

It was a very quiet night in dreamland. Or should I say I don't remember many adventures. I think that was an effect of having a 'day off' yesterday in an effort to practise patience.

I do recall being in a workplace and typing up a lengthy report for someone who was out visiting a client. He'd put photographs in his report and I was very sexually attracted to him. As I was working on his report, I telepathically relayed I fancied the pants off him and later on when he'd returned to the office, he seemed to have received my message as he was spending a lot of time leaning over me to see how his report was getting on. He was even stroking my back as we discussed his work.

It's probably a good job the 'Others' left me alone last night - I'd have failed the sex test before it even started...

[Stillwater]

I really enjoy reading these, keep it up! I should start sharing more of mine here as well... I have VERY vivid ones that I make a point to review and retell to myself when I wake up. You have experiences in dreams that you would have no other place... it is like you get to experience someone else's life for a moment.

I think I'll jump on this bandwagon 

[Selski]

Thank you Stillwater - it's good to hear they are enjoyable as they always seem so run-of-the-mill to me.

I shall look forward to seeing your thread and reading your experiences - I've always enjoyed reading others' dreams and find I get some great ideas from them.

[Selski]

Had a rubbish night's sleep which would perhaps have meant lots of juicy lucidity, but not a smidgen despite attempting all sorts of tricks. At one wakeful period, I had an idea of repeating in my head 'I am dreaming' in the hopes that I'd still be saying it when I eventually fell asleep - nope.

What was hilarious is that after posting about my giant duck LDT yesterday, this happened:

I was with my ex looking out of a window. I saw a white duck with black splodges about to cross the road. The duck was standing upright (like an Indian Runner duck). As it began to cross the road, the white duck separated from the black splodges and it was only the splodges that crossed. The white duck faded away and the black splodges turned into a dog once it reached the other side - rather like a Dalmation only the splodges were bigger and fewer.

Did it make me realise I was dreaming? Did it heck. The Dream Operators must be both pulling their hair out and laughing hysterically at my complete lack of awareness.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I'd gone to a 50th party of a girl from school. She had been a very popular girl and plenty of people were there. All the music was from the mid-80s and played by live bands, including her band with her singing. Because everyone invited was from her same year, we all knew every song. The music was the key feature of the party.

Her husband came over to say hello. I didn't know him and asked how long they'd been married. He told me only a year but that they'd been together for ages. We were walking away from the group down a slight ramp. In the background we could hear the party girl singing 'Girl from Mars' by Ash.

This has bleedthroughs from waking life. There's no way I'd be invited to a 50th party by that particular girl - and there's no way I would attend even if I was! The song by Ash is an anachronism as it's not from the right era, but I failed to spot this at the time.

However, when compared with Earth Song, Girl from Mars is a step in the right direction.

[Selski]

Another interrupted night with very little recall. I think an afternoon nap is in order.

I've a feeling there was a lucid dream just before I finally awoke - but the content has gone *poof*.

I did have an Observer dream - where I'm watching the dream rather than taking part in it.

It involved a truck and trying to jump in the back of it while it was moving. As the Observer, I couldn't work out how to get in the scene so had to satisfy myself with simply watching.

A little later, the truck stopped and the back was opened. Everyone inside (about 6 of us) had lost consciousness and were being revived. They got to me and decided I was too far gone and wouldn't regain consciousness. I was going to die. The Observer part of me told them not to worry, that before I died I would wake myself up. Which I did by violently shaking my 'Observer' head. I woke up very groggy and nearly drifted back to sleep without moving, which would have put me right back in the same dream. Instead, I made sure to open my eyes first and roll over so that I wouldn't return to die.

Observer dreams are rare for me. I wasn't very well last night so they may be related to feeling somewhat 'detached' from full immersion into waking OR sleeping reality. Due to lack of sleep, I certainly feel very woolly-headed today!

Despite telling everyone that I would make myself wake up (which in effect means that I'm dreaming), I yet again failed to become lucid.

[Selski]

I sometimes dream that I'm back with my ex and in them I 'forget' that I'm with someone new. Eventually I remember and feel a sense of horrified shame that I'd completely forgotten all about them! 

Last night was a similar dream, however this time I told ex that 'we are together in waking life, so there's no need to be together in dreamland as well. Let's NOT be together when dreaming, then we can have the best of both worlds' and I walked away from him.

Firstly we are not together in waking life so I've no idea why I said that (although we are still on friendly terms) and secondly I voluntarily admitted that I was dreaming - did it make me lucid? Did it nelly. 

Maybe...just maybe that will be the end of the 'getting back with ex' dreams.

[Selski]

I've gone with some friends to see a singer. She is appearing at the college we go to and so is only a short distance to travel.

The room comfortably seats about 200 people and is full. I'm sitting near the front with our group. My friend has brought her brother who I've never met before.

The singer turns up on stage and is chatting to the audience. She asks us what we'd like her to sing. No one replies so I pipe up, The Winner Takes It All by ABBA. It's the first thing that comes into my head and I reckon it's a good one to see how well she can sing.

She sings that song and then a couple of others. She's not very good, although my friends are really enjoying themselves, singing along & dancing. I look behind me and of the 200 people who were there, about 20 or so remain. It seems I'm not the only one who thinks she's rubbish.

She finishes a song and starts talking to the audience again - this time about politics. It's very boring and I start feeling short-changed and frustrated. My friend's brother is sitting next to me and we start chatting and get out a crossword to do together.

A few more minutes of political talk and I say very loudly, "Excuse me," which stops her in her tracks. In fact, the whole room hushes. "This is not what I came here to hear. I bought a ticket that said you were going to sing. You're supposed to entertain us musically."

There were a few murmurs of assent and the brother looks at me admirably.

Click out.

I'm now at home that same evening. The 'phone rings and it's my friend's brother. I say hello and wonder what he wants. He wants to meet for a date the next night at the gig at the college. I agree just to get him off the 'phone. Ideally, I wouldn't normally go into college the following day (which is a Wednesday), but now feel obliged as I've made arrangements to meet someone - someone whose name I can't even recall.

Click out.

It's the following evening and I've turned up at the gig quite reluctantly. The guy is there with my friends and I go over to meet them. He looks pleased to see me but all I can do is try to keep with the group as I honestly can't remember his name.

This was one of those boring dreams that went on far too long - 2 days to be exact! 

The level of stability and consistency were prominent features - as were my actions in that I acted/reacted as I would in waking life. I can be quite a different character when I'm dreaming, but this was more like the 'real' me.

Another dream about music involving a female singer - I wonder why. I am listening to more music lately so maybe it's a simple bleedthrough. I own an ABBA CD but haven't listened to it in ages.

Another college dream too. I never went to college in waking life but I'm pretty much a permanent resident in dreamland. 

[Selski]

I'm on a fast train with a friend and we are on holiday in Australia. We are looking out of the window at the view. I see two kangaroos in a field - they are probably twice the size in both height and width as real-life kangaroos - and I point them out to my friend. I hear another passenger say, 'yeah, that's right' or something equally non-descript. The passenger is Australian.

Then in another field a giant ostrich hops past. This is even more exaggerated than a real-life version. It is at least 10ft tall and has two large stumpy legs like an elephant, but they are fluffy and its whole body is covered in fur like a humongous rabbit. It looks quite daft...but I recognise it as an ostrich.

In the next scene a gigantic snake appears. Like the others, it's grossly massive - around 60ft long and at least half the girth of the train we are travelling in. It has pretty symmetric patterns on its skin.

This may have been an attempt by the Dream Operators to get me lucid...alas it didn't work. It was earlier on in the dream cycle so they should have saved it for later. I know that Australia is known for having large fauna - but this was ridiculous!! 

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Three of us live together - myself, Martyn Jacques (lead singer of The Tiger Lillies) and one other male, also a famous singer. The 'house' is a large static caravan and we are in the garden having fun.

The garden is on a steep slope downwards away from the house. We are all facing the house and doing backwards somersaults to the sound of Baggy Trousers by Madness. It's easier to lift off because of the slope. The somersaults are lazily slow, almost slow-motion.

We hear next-door talking and decide to surprise them by hiding just behind the fence and jumping up at them. As we do so, they do exactly the same to us. Both us and the neighbours are practical jokers and are always playing pranks on each other.

We make our way towards the house. The other two have gone in and next-door pops up again pretending to shoot me with a feather duster. I grab the offending 'gun' and take it indoors with me. I start to clean the top corners of the caravan, wiping away small cobwebs that I find.

Later I'm in a film/record shop. The third man I live with works there. I'm now with other friends. Dream awareness brightens. I'm trying to remember who this third man is. I know that I knew his name earlier on in the dream when we were in the garden listening to Baggy Trousers, but the dream has moved on and I've forgotten it. It now seems very important to remember his name - more so than any other aspect of the dream. I keep asking the friends I'm with to give me the name of the guy I live with, but [as is usual in my dreams] they avoid, distract and generally don't tell me without ever saying 'We're not telling' outright.

We are leaving the shop and I'm frustrated. On the way out, I notice a camera on the floor. Someone has dropped it on their way out. I stay behind, pick it up and take it to the shop owner (the guy I live with) in the hope that by doing this good deed, he'll tell me his name. I turn the camera on as I'm walking back to him. Two other people are currently with him asking about a film they want to see. He replies that he's seen a film called 'Sliding Nevada' and talks about it. The name of the film is suddenly very important for me to remember and I park it in my memory bank.

I look at the guy and he's familiar. I ask one of the people talking to him what his name is. They don't tell me. I plead with them, explaining that I've brought a camera back and it's just a name so that I can write it in my dream diary. They are not interested in any of my reasons. In desperation I turn to my housemate and say, 'What is your name? I don't fancy you or anything like that; I just want to know your name as I've forgotten. I want to make a note of it when I wake up in my dream diary.' He looks at me and then at the camera in my hand. I know he's not going to tell me.

I feel the dream start to fizzle and mentally call out, 'Please tell me'.

When I initially awoke in that still half-asleep state, I deemed this to be an Important Dream, probably becuase I got vaguely lucid towards the end. Now, writing it down, it seems bloody silly. 

It's strange how fixated I can get on names/titles etc when dreaming, as if they are the key to the whole dream. Perhaps this dream (and others like it where I'm not told whatever it is that I want to know) is telling me that these things are NOT important and not to focus so much on them. 

More singers. What's with singers? Singers sing, but they are also sewing machines. Are the dream singers sewing my dreams...? I'll give that one some thought, although perhaps it's just too cryptic to be of any use.

[EscapeVelocity]

Selski,

I am totally impressed by your dream recall, the level of detail and more importantly, you recount those extremely baffling/frustrating moments, the very subtle ones that we seem to get lost in. In my own dreams and partial LDs, I am aware of them but frequently am unable to bring them through in recall. They are slightly non-logical, sometimes almost non-sensical, yet they keep us so fixated at the time.

A few comments I will offer for your consideration:

Leland lives in Boston and therefore utilizes at least a couple forms of public transportation: bus lines, subways and trains; therefore, they show in his experiences frequently. I do not use these transport modes so they rarely show in my dreams/LDs. If they do show up in yours, my suggestion is that they may be metaphors for you moving between various areas/levels of the Astral, deeper into the Dream Zone, for starters. An idea to file away possibly. So, just maybe the fast train was speeding you into a far off land with new and unusual entities with unknown potentialities.

The slow-motion backwards somersaults reminded me strongly of your Trampoline Rundown (thank you for that btw!). Maybe that was to spark a memory?

All these singers...Sirens?

"Perhaps this dream...is telling me that these things are NOT important and not to focus so much on them."- I find this an intriguing thought as it occurred to me just last week regarding my own dreams. Is their ignoring/refusal to answer actually a kind of subtle dream signal to look elsewhere within the dream for the 'true purpose' of the dream?

I wonder that this may be a similar realization such as what soarin12 pointed out in her response to my 'Grass, Gravel and an Old Friend' experience: That when we focus in closely on an object and it shimmers or shape-shifts, that this is actually a signal to retract our focus and re-direct it elsewhere within the experience; that this is a kind of small warning that we are focused incorrectly/too fixated and risking having the experience terminated.

I think that you have touched on another aspect of how our 'explorations' can get de-railed in such subtle and confusing fashion, and what to be on the lookout for. Nice!

[Selski]

Thanks EV - I'm aware I owe you a PM but I'm waiting until I've finished Otherwhere - which is totally brilliant, so much so that I don't want it to end! 

Love your idea of what the animals represent - I hadn't thought of that and I really should have considering my current reading material! 

Oooooooooooh sirens....lovely.

Knowing that I'm focusing on the wrong thing when I'm awake is one thing, knowing during a dream is quite another. Something for me to work on in dreamland I reckon.

Now I'm off to read your dream... 

[Selski]

A full night of learning with all dreams relating to each other and a theme running through each.

Two earlier dreams of being in a school bus on the way somewhere with my class. I wasn't a child.

In the first dream, the bus driver was losing confidence in his driving and was concerned we wouldn't make it. The road was narrow and more of a dirt track with small boulders in the way. Along the edge of the road I could see large trees wrapped in muslin laid on their sides waiting to be planted.

The bus driver sped up and was beginning a tricky ascent. There was another bus in front of us that made it over the hill safely, although it did leave ground briefly. Our bus driver knew we'd have to do the same. All of a sudden my perspective changed. I was no longer on the bus, but was now an observer watching the scene. The bus leapt up off the road and somersaulted in the air in slow motion. I heard in my head, 'It's your choice what to do next'. I understood it was our decision (the whole class) as to whether we remained in the bus or stayed where we were as observers.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

When I became an observer, I wasn't aware of any other people around me. It was as if I had to make the choice on behalf of the whole of us. I don't recall the choice I made, or if I even made one.

The second dream is back on a school bus climbing a steep hill. K is one of the group and we are discussing how long we've been on the bus and that it would be a good idea for them to provide refreshments, especially as we are children [we aren't]. The bus arrives at our destination at the top of the hill and we get out. It's already 5.45pm and usually we leave work at 5.30pm, so we are already 15 minutes later than we would be if we were leaving the building! The inference is that it's been a totally wasted journey. We go into work and S is packing her things away. I normally walk home with S and K, or sometimes just one of them. S leaves the office and waves at me from the corridor outside. I look at the clock and it's just before 5pm. A few seconds later, I see K walk down the corridor outside who also waves at me. I look over at K who is sitting in the same office as me and say, 'You've just walked by outside, but that must be 5 o'clock K.' She smiles at me. At first I thought I'd be walking home on my own, but figure that the second K who is still in the office will be walking home with me.

Click out.

A group of us are sitting on a brick wall on the perimeter of an outdoor café. There are tables with umbrellas in front of us and a few people milling around. The group is the school group and K is sitting next to me, on the right. I look around and up into the sky. There are animal-shaped clouds and I point them out to everyone. They are huge and detailed next to ordinary white clouds. I see two giant sheep. I even go so far as to tell K that these clouds are not what you'd see in waking life – they are very real-looking animals rather than white blobs.

Lucidity creeps in. I keep very quiet about it and slowly look around again with fresh alert eyes. I remember my plan of finding a guide first and just as I'm about to look at the people with me, I recall that K is my guide and she's sitting right next to me.

I turn to her and say quietly, 'You're my dream guide, aren't you K?' She slowly looks back at me, watches me for a couple of seconds and then says, 'Yes'.

Inside I'm doing the loop-de-blinkin'-loop, but outside I remain calm and neutral.

Gesticulating to the dream environment in front of us I say, 'What's this all about then?'

'We've been asking you a question which you haven't answered for the last two nights' she replies.

'Well, now that I'm aware, ask me now and I'll reply immediately,' I respond. Simples!

She gets up and tells me she'll just be in a minute and walks over to the entrance to the café. This doesn't bother me, I'm happy to wait. I get up and start walking around between tables stomping my feet in big strides.

A short while later she comes back out and I explain that I've been stomping to keep me lucid. She talks but it's too quiet and I can't hear her.

'Speak up,' I say, 'I can't make out what you are saying.'

She then hunches down and becomes rabbit-like and starts nibbling on a feather.

I vaguely notice this, but I'm consumed with frustration that she won't ask me the question, whatever it is.

Angrily I say very loudly, 'Well, that's not very f***** helpful, is it?'

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

And am immediately kicked out of the dream. No fizzling, no dissolving, just as if a light switch has been turned off.

I lay a while angry and totally frustrated – this is what happens every stinking time I try to get anywhere with guides/dream characters. It has been happening for years. This time, this one time I thought I'd cracked it. But no, she goes and turns into a stupid rabbit and chews a stupid feather...

Calming myself down I decided to try and work out what the question was. I thought about how non-communicative others are whenever this happens. How they don't speak to me. I wondered if I'm too verbal and should be more subtle, using non-verbal communication. This felt right and seems to fit how dream communication happens. Perhaps I'm like a lumbering old dinosaur walking into a modern building shouting 'Raaar raaaar raaaar' at everyone and expecting to be understood – whilst they are sending beautiful telepathic messages to me that I'm missing because I'm too busy going 'raaar raaar raaar'.

I thought about the feather. Why a feather? Had she gone inside because she needed time to plan the next move? Perhaps I was in a simulation where lucidity was not allowed and she didn't know what to do next. Maybe her superiors were inside the café and would tell her what to do. But why a feather? A bit of brainstorming got me birds... the blue feather in Illusions by Richard Bach... flying ... wings ... was she winging it? Winging it! That popped up out of nowhere and made me smile (and feel a bit more smug about the whole thing).

As I drifted back to sleep I got a very brief image of a man about to have his tongue cut out. It wasn't too graphic and didn't jolt me back to full waking consciousness, but I got the message.

Why couldn't she have just said 'You're too verbal'? Why all this rabbit nonsense? It's ridiculously elaborate and mysteriously cryptic...but for what purpose? Sometimes it makes no sense to me at all and I think I'm on a fast track to nowhere.

Now I've written it up, the animal clouds could be my interpretation of those mastodons I read about in EV's dream. After all, clouds are high up in the sky and they sure were interesting to look at.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I'm at a party. I know some of the people, but not many so am more of an outsider. There is a Gary Numan track playing, an old one, and it was written for one of the partygoers. I'm sitting with this person, she's a friend and we are listening to the song as she reminisces via drawings/photos about her time with Gary.

All of a sudden, a woman appears in my mind. It's like she tips over from behind me and is facing me upside down in my mind. I am aware the dream is still playing beyond my mind, but I can no longer see it. I understand and become lucid. I 'get' that her name is Katy-Louise.

'I've got the message about being non-verbal. How do I do this?' I ask this woman, who looks like a gymnast in a white leotard.

'You'll see' she replies.

I'm about to ask something else then remember I'm supposed to be non-verbal so I simply watch her and look out for anything.

She starts slowly swinging left to right, like a pendulum and says, 'You'll see' again.

I remain silent and watch alertly whereupon it fizzles slowly and I awake.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Only now, now I'm writing it down, do I see the poignancy of my friend reminiscing by using pictures, rather than words.

I think I'm going to have to take some duct tape with me when I'm dreaming to keep my gob shut!!

[Selski]

And only now, now that I've re-read it do I see the poignancy of 'You'll see'.

Rather than an enigmatic 'You'll find out' perhaps it's literal. You'll see.

USE YOUR EYES AND NOT YOUR MOUTH DUMBASS!! 

[Selski]

Lots of dreams, not a lot of total recall. Snippets.

Pig Beck Farm (daytime bleedthrough)

I'm with Fitz from Cracker (Robbie Coltrane) [this is something I'm currently re-watching, hence the reference to Beck above]. We are walking along and I recognise a church just up ahead on the right. I recognise it as a dream church, a church I've seen in a previous dream. I point it out to Fitz who has now moved away from me, down towards the left. In the dream, the position we are in seems natural, as if we are walking along a normal street. However, Fitz is 30ft or so to my left and below me by about 10ft, I'm in the middle, and the church is the same distance to my right, but 10ft above me. It's not suspended in the air...it's on solid ground but I don't bother to look closely at what it's sitting on.

The church is gothic in style but as I get closer, it's not the same as I remember. Either it's a different church or it's been modernised. There are two big panels of one-piece glass across the facade. As I look at these, I notice that everyone inside the church is looking out and down with shocked faces. I get the impression that someone (a boy springs to mind) has fallen out of the church and is dead or injured below on the ground. I'm reluctant to go over as I don't want to see the carnage.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I knew the church was a dream memory and not something from waking life. Even though I knew this at the time, it didn't make me lucid.

Dream memories are fascinating. I get them quite often, especially these last 10 years or so. I also revisit places more than once. There is a shoe shop I'm very familiar with; a holiday destination; numerous restaurants; a book shop and others.

It's my birthday and I'm having a pool party. Lots of people are there. In the distance I see cloud-shapes that turn into green dinosaurs - huge T-rex types but small as they are so far away. They get closer and I invite them to join the party, which they willingly agree to. It will take them some time to actually get to the pool and two of us have to go and open the gate, which will take about an hour to walk to. A friend and I decide to go. Some friends have brought a big box of new swimwear and, because it's my birthday, I get first choice. I get changed into a floral swimsuit with lacy neckline - which it seems would be everyone's first choice as it's so lovely.

Dinosaurs must be related to the cloud animals from my previous dream and linking them with mastodons. It's not my birthday anytime soon, but there is a key birthday next week for an ex-friend - not that I'm invited or anything. Probably just a load of dream silliness.

At one point during the morning I awoke with When It's Cold I'd Like To Die by Moby in my mind. Perhaps the water in the pool wasn't warm enough... 

[Stillwater]

I remember that song, hehe... one of his better ones... it kind of grabs your attention and holds it... very captivating.

The scene from the dream church actually reminds me of another dream I had about 20 days ago, that I crystalized in my memory, but didn't write down. I should do that now.

I get the recurring places as well... I feel like it has something to do with "dream memory"; we tend to remember things that happened in the state of mind we were in at the time. We remember waking memories while awake, tipsy memories while tipsy, etc. Something about being in the same circumstance connects them in our heads...

[Selski]

Morning Stillwater 

Yes, it's a great Moby track. I did wonder whether the fan in the bedroom was blowing across my face at the time...

I've been enjoying reading your dream journal and think the images you add are really neat!

There's something quite satisfying about dream memories. I love thinking to myself 'I've been here before and I know that just around that corner is an Italian restaurant that makes the best pizza' - it sometimes jolts me to lucidity. Whilst buildings and environments are familiar, I rarely get the same dream characters twice (apart from those I know in waking life such as friends/family who pop up time & time again). I often wonder about that - whether I'm not able to hold an unfamiliar dream face in mind from one dream to the next (based on dreams being completely self-generated) or whether dream people (i.e. not self-generated) love to wear disguises. 

Dream recall is a funny thing too. I've just remembered the last part of the church dream. It has only now come back to me, even though when I awoke I had it in mind as it was the bit that caused me to awake.

I call out to Fitz to meet me further ahead and we leave the scene of the church. There is a gate to go through and as I do so, I get the impression that I'm being followed by lots of children who are drawing pictures made out of paper clips. To stop them catching me, I close the gate behind me. As I turn around to leave the scene, another solid brick-walled gate comes down a few feet ahead of me and I'm now trapped in a small space, maybe 10ft by 10ft. This immediately causes me to wake up.

Typing it up now, I wonder if I'd managed to leave one dream scenario without fulfilling the lesson (going to see if the boy was OK) and was stopped by those pesky Dream Operators from entering another environment because I'd failed in my duty.

[Stillwater]

Yeah I think it helps bring others into the moment with you, gives them something they can connect to. It is really hard to conjure up a complete scene in someone's head nearly as well as finding or making an image can!

I can definitely relate to unfolding the events of dreams much later as well. It is like we need to suss them out, by getting into the same mindset, and recalling the other events and scenes to memory.

I usually have a pretty positive feeling about returning to a dream locale as well... like this feeling of..."Oh, this is a place... and a place that was here the whole time, while I was gone, waiting for me, and will be here awaiting my next return"; I almost feel the fondness for such a place I might for a person I hadn't seen in a while.

[Selski]

I'm with hubby and a group of friends and we've gone horse-racing. One loud-mouthed punter confidently tells us to back number 2. This ensures that I'm going to back any horse as long as it's not number 2. I back number 5.

Click out.

In London on the top deck of a bus, I'm travelling home with a group of friends. They are coming back to our house. We've been horse-racing. Hubby has already got off the bus with some of the group and I'm left with Charlie. It's dusk and we pass a brightly-lit Harrods. I wonder out loud why the others have already got off, seeing as we're nowhere near home yet. As we look out of the window, another shop display is showing a version of The Nutcracker and has full-size gold figurines in various poses. Delighted and child-like, I point these out to Charlie.

The bus comes to its terminal and we all have to get off. I thought it would take us back to Putney, but it must be the wrong bus. We get on another bus whose destination on the front is 'Ham' and I assume it will go to Ham via Putney. The bus fare is £1.16 and I look in my purse and take out a 20p piece, then rummage around for a pound coin. The bus conductor, a short happy chap, points to the small loose change (5ps and 1ps) and asks for them instead of the 20p. I hand over more than enough to cover 16p and he takes the lot. I begin to tell him there's too much there, then say, 'oh never mind, you can have it all' when I realise I don't really want to keep all those little bitty coins.

This was an earlier-night dream and seems to be fairly random. Two bleedthroughs are the nutcracker which popped up (as a kitchen item) in a game I was playing yesterday and I had ham sandwiches for lunch. I also typed a post here yesterday about always finding enough money in my pockets, so maybe that triggered the money exchange.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

There are three long-stemmed flowers in a slim vase. The actual flower parts are delicate, two with four petals and one with three. The petals are shaped like elongated teardrops. Their colour is very faded pink. The flowers are responsive to movement. If I come close to them, they 'reach' out to touch me. I never let them touch me as I don't really know what they are.

I turn to my friend and tell her this kind of thing only happens in dreams. Then my lucidity brightens a little and I repeat that this is a dream.

It's interesting that I don't remember much else about this particular dream, even though it was later on in my dream cycle. I do know there was more - but I can't quite pull it all back here. Perhaps something will jog my memory during the day.

The flowers remind me of another dream I had years & years ago. This involved a futuristic contraption with 'antennas' that were responsive to movement. IIRC, it was as if the antennas were monitoring any vibrations/energy that came close to them. I didn't remember this during the flower dream - it's only come back to me now as I'm writing it down.